A/N: I own nothing. Stephenie Meyer owns "The Host" and all its wonderful characters (despite the fact that I'm in love with Ian O'Shea) and Lifehouse owns "Hanging by a Moment." I don't know why I'm writing this, but I was in the mood for writing some one-shot song fics. :) Enjoy, and please review.
"Hanging by a Moment"
Desperate for changing
Starving for truth
Closer to where I started
Chasing after you
I wasn't paying attention at all as Wes asked Wanderer a question about the Fire Planet. If the truth be told, I didn't actually care at all about the Fire Planet. All I cared about was the wonderful person (technically, soul, but at this point, she was a person) sitting beside me.
The fact that I had fallen in love with Wanderer confused me to no end. How could I, a human, love her, a soul? "How" wasn't the important thing, however. The fact that I did love her, love her more than I loved life itself, was the important thing.
After she overheard Jared and I discussing it, she knew that I liked her, but we had continued to be close friends. However, I was desperate for a change. I valued her friendship very much, but I wanted her love. I wanted a change from her loving him, loving Jared.
But I also wanted the truth. I didn't want her to tell me that she loved me only to make me happy. I wanted her to truly love, and I didn't want her to fool herself into believing it. I didn't want a lie.
Sighing, I realized that all my reflections had done nothing but get me closer to where I started: chasing after Wanderer.
I'm falling even more in love with you
Letting go of all I've held onto
I'm standing here until you make me move
I'm hanging by a moment here with you
Every single thing she did or said only made me fall deeper in love with her. And just when I thought it was impossible to love someone more than I loved her, I proved myself wrong.
In loving her, I'd given up pretty much everything I've ever held onto. I gave up my close relationship with my brother (which was easy when he was being such an asshole), I gave up all my previous prejudices about the souls, and I'd given up pretty much my whole entire view of the world.
But that didn't matter to me. I'd give up the whole world if I could only have her, an I'd do it in a heartbeat.
And I would stand by her side until she made me move.
I clung desperately to every precious moment I spent with her.
Forgetting all I'm lacking
Completely incomplete
I'll take your invitation
You take all of me
When I was with Wanda, I forgot all my flaws, and I forgot everything that I didn't have. Because when I was with her, I had everything I could ever possibly want or need. By myself, I was incompletely, but when I was with her…
I was whole.
Other than her happiness, I wanted nothing more than for her to love me back, to want me as I am.
Right now, I know that's too much to ask of her. She's never experienced emotions as vivid as human ones before, and I'm sure being in the body of a woman who loved Jared so much couldn't help her confusion one bit. She was so confused… and she couldn't make head or tails of what she was feeling.
But I understand.
And I'll wait. Forever, if I have to.
Now I'm falling even more in love with you
Letting go of all I've held onto
I'm standing here until you make me move
I'm hanging by a moment here with you
I'm living for the only thing I know
I'm running and not quite sure where to go
And I don't know what I'm diving into
Just hanging by a moment here with you
Being in love was a new experience for me.
Of course I had had girlfriends back in high school, before the invasion, but nothing really serious. I had never loved any of those girls. But this… this was an overwhelming phenomenon. I wanted nothing more than for her to be happy, and I'd sacrifice myself and my happiness if that was what was needed, I knew that for sure. But I couldn't even see other women as potential partners anymore, even if it was a stretch. There was only Wanderer. All I knew was Wanderer and my love for her, and those were the two things I was living for.
It was like I was running with no sense of direction.
Or like I was diving into an unexplored body of water.
I had no idea what to do with myself, but at the same time, I didn't care.
There's nothing else to lose
There's nothing else to find
There's nothing in the world
That could change my mind
There is nothing else
There is nothing else
There is nothing else
And let's face it, I had nothing left to lose. My only family left was Kyle, who was being a total douche bag, and I had lost all semblances of family and home a long time ago. Sure, I had my friends in the caves, but it wasn't the same. Until I met Wanda.
And once I realized that I was in love with her, there was no one else out there for me, I was certain of that. I could never love anyone else; it simply wasn't possible.
I didn't even care what others thought of my feelings for her. Absolutely nothing in the world could change my mind.
In my world, there was nothing but Wanderer, and I was okay with that.
I'm barely hanging on to reality; I'm hanging by a moment.
Desperate for changing
Starving for truth
Closer to where I started
Chasing after you
I'm falling even more in love with you
Letting go of all I've held onto
I'm standing here until you make me move
I'm hanging by a moment here with you
I'm living for the only thing I know
I'm running and not quite sure where to go
And I don't know what I'm diving into
Just hanging by a moment here with you
Just hanging by a moment
Hanging by a moment
Hanging by a moment
Hanging by a moment here with you