GREAT ED-SPECTATIONS
Edd's room was darker then usual today. All contact with the outside world was sealed off. The doors were closed, the windows were shut, the shades lowered.
EDD: (singing) I found love on a two way stree-eet... and lost it on a lonely highway!?
Edd was fulfilling one of his most personal hobbies-singing. His voice had not fully lowered yet (heck, he's only 12), and as a result he still enjoyed having the wide voice range many adolescent boys lose. Despite his talent, he refused to tell anyone about it, being terrified that anyone might make him sing on stage.
EDD: True loo-oove...will never pa-ass.. so I've been told!?
Ed and Eddy entered Edd's house and went up to his bedroom door, but before entering they heard faint music coming from behind the door...
EDD: (singing) But now I must cry, it is finally goodbye, I knooowww...?
EDDY: I didn't know Double Dee listened to music! Does he have a record player? a radio?
ED: I've got an inkling- maybe Double Dee's singing?
EDDY: Pssh. With his whiney little voice? If it was him singing, the windows to his house would've cracked by now.
EDD: (still singing) With music softly playing, her-?
Ed and Eddy burst in on him in the middle of his song.
EDDY: Hey, sockhead! Where's the radio?
EDD:(talking now, stuttering) ra-ra-radio?
EDDY: Yeah, Radio...hey, You're hiding something, aren't chya?
EDD: aren't? chya? Is that even a word? Eddy narrowed his eyes.
EDDY: Okay, smart-alek, quit trying to change the subject. Was that YOU singing?
Edd sighed. He knew when he was caught.
EDD: Yes...that was me. I was the one singing.
Almost automatically upon hearing this Eddy's mind began stewing ideas on how to turn Double Dee's talent into his profit.
EDDY: Why didn't you tell us you could sing? You're great! Why don't you share your gift to the people of the cul-de-sac?
(aside, to himself) for a small fee, that is!
Edd wasn't quite as enthusiastic about Eddy's plans as Eddy was...
EDD: No. No, way. There is NO way that I am going to perform in front of anyone!
EDDY: Ohh, c'mon! What's the crowd gonna do, bite you? Besides, we can earn jawbreaker money from this!
That hadn't occurred to him. Even if he embarrassed himself, at least they would be able to get something out of the deal...
EDD: Well...alright. (aside) Curse my gullibility!
While Edd mentally prepared himself for his big debut, Ed and Eddy created a stage with curtains, wood, and some other materials gathered at the dump, along with chairs for the audience. Once the stage was ready, Eddy ran over to where the kids were playing to advertise...
EDDY: Hey! Who wants to hear some good music for a great price? A star is being born right here in Peach Creek, and for a lousy quarter you can see him LIVE before he becomes famous!
That got the kids going.
JIMMY: At last, something truly intelligent to be found in this cultural wasteland!
KEVIN: Where is the Dorkapalooza being held?
EDDY: Just follow me, his manager!
All of the kids readily followed him to the stage, and sat down in the chairs provided for them. Eddy went 'backstage' to check on his singer.
EDDY: Alright, Double Dee, this is your big break- don't screw it up!
EDD: Oh, dear. It's not in me Eddy, I'm afraid of crowds!
EDDY: And I'm afraid of chickens who won't sing like they're supposed to-
ED: CHICKENS!
EDDY:(ignoring Ed)-Alright, chicken. You're going to go out there and you're going to sing like a bird!
Eddy ran on stage before Edd to announce his arrival to the crowd.
SARAH(from the crowd): Its about time!
Eddy let that comment go with a roll of his eyes.
EDDY: And now, ladies and gents, the moment you've all been waiting for...Double Dee!
He disappeared behind the curtain so Edd could have the stage all to himself. Edd steeled himself, went in front of the curtain, took the microphone in his sweaty hand and did his best to sing in public...
EDD: I...uh...
Before collapsing in a dead faint.
Eddy (who was supervising backstage) raved and cursed while wondering how to save the show before the now-antsy audience demanded a refund. He did the only spur-of-the-moment thing possible; he went on stage, grabbed the mike and attempted to sing while Ed dragged the unconscious boy off stage. Unfortunately, Eddy's singing voice is like nails on a chalkboard.
ROLF: Where is Double-Ed-boy?
JONNY: Plank says you sound like a truck backfiring!
JIMMY: EEK! Make it STOP, Sarah!
SARAH: It's okay, Jimmy!
NAZZ: EEW! YOU SUCK!
KEVIN: Get off the stage, Dork Sinatra!
Eddy had to run off the stage being pummeled by vegetables, old food and the like.
Later, Eddy was pacing back and forth in front of a very pale Edd, fuming with anger.
EDDY: You! You chickened out! What the heck's with that?!
EDD: I apologize, Eddy! You know how crowds make me feel...
EDDY: Like a feeb? A wuss? a Chicken...
ED: I LOVE CHICKENS!
EDDY: Give it a rest already, Burrhead.