A/N: Well, in lieu of the usual Spinning the Wheel chapter I decided to post a short AU story, mainly because I am toying with the idea of turning Spinning the Wheel into an M-rated fic and I wanted to know if I could pull it off, never before having written smut at all. So please read, enjoy and, if you want, let me know if I should pursue this new kinky aspect of fanfiction-writing or stick with what I know.

And Happy Easter!

A OUAT Kink-Meme prompt fill

Pairing: Rumbelle

Prompt: Mildly AU, I guess? Anyway, you know how in "Heart of Darkness" Snow White and The Dwarves visit Rumpelstiltskin? And then later Charming? I'd like it if there was a fic where they walk in on Rumpelstiltskin going down on Belle on his table.

Rating: NC-17

Grumpy, living up to his name, was muttering and grunting as he reluctantly trudged behind Snow. The marble white castle ahead gave him chills but he resolutely opposed the idea of turning back and leaving the girl beside him to try and off the Queen while he wasn't looking

"Cool it, Grumpy, or leave" Snow huffed, unlike herself "I agreed to come along so be quiet"

The dwarf gave the runaway princess a nasty glare.

"We wouldn't be in this mess if you hadn't taken the easy way out of your romantic problems, sister"

They were already at the gates and Snow was trying to see how those massive doors were supposed to open.

"Can it, shorty"

The dwarf's face took in an interesting shade of red and his glare turned nastier. He opened his mouth to deliver what would have been a rather colourful retort when a scream pierced the air, follow by a grave, guttural moan. Both travellers took a step away from the gates, wide-eyed.

"Oh, the stupid things I do for women" Grumpy cursed aloud "Come on, let's get this over with once and for all"

Between both of them they got the heavy oak doors to swing open with more ease than either expected.

"I rather thought we would have to face unparalleled dangers to gain access to his lair" the dwarf managed to sound almost disappointed by the view of a quaint, if a bit bare, foyer. In that moment another chilling scream reverberated across the stone walls, followed by a crash and the sound of glass breaking.

"Well, at least it'll be easy to find him" Snow's cavalier attitude in the face of the possible torture and slaughter of an individual unnerved Grumpy almost more than the screams but he bravely followed her up a lot of stairs, trying to turn deaf ears to the echo o gasps and moans of pain. Snow needed the help of the imp so there was no turning back.

The miner paused in front of another set of doors leading to the only room in the castle's tallest tower. The sounds of pain and misery were coming from somewhere inside and up close they seemed inhumanly loud and desperate. He thought about the way to best approach the situation and decided that false bravado would be their best choice. Better not to let the imp see their fear.

Well, his fear at least. And with that last thought he grabbed the old brass handles with his large, rough miner's hands and yanked the door open.

"Rumplestiltskin! I have a bone to pick with…"

Snow's gasp of maidenly modesty, the only remotely-innocent gesture she had shown since drinking the potion to forget Charming, cut him off way before his head made sense of the scene in front of them. The curved walls were lined with bookshelves except for the spaces reserved for windows. In the very centre of the room an old, well-polished wooden table was placed, potion ingredients and empty, broken vials scattered all around the floor beneath it. And on the table, spread out like some sort of offering to some luscious god there was a woman, the bodice of her blue dress unlaced and her chemise open enough to reveal the skin that lay at the centre of her chest, marginally managing to cover her breasts. Her chestnut curls were splayed around her head like a halo and her hands were firmly holding onto the sides of the table while her back arched.

Closer inspection revealed an oddly-coloured hand disappearing under the chemise, its dark nails visible through the delicate, almost transparent material, scraping softly, rhythmically across the left breast. The hand was attached to a man dressed in an open golden shirt and tight leather pants hovering over a plush chair at the head of the table. At first it was hard to see him, most of him being covered by the raised skirts of the girl's dress. She had her feet resting on the arms of the chair and her legs exposed to mid-thigh, a thin anklet made of gold thread glinting in the sunlight as she moved her left foot from its perch on the chair to the man's back, urging him closer. The man himself had his head partially under the woman's dress, only a tuft of hair visible. The hand that was not busy tattooing strange, savage patterns across the woman's breast was absentmindedly caressing her upper thigh, dipping ever so often into the depths of the dress, out of sight. Every time it did so the girl would arch even more, if it was possible, and utter a single word.

"Please!"

A soft, maniacal giggle erupted from the depths of the bunched-up skirts and it was then that Grumpy's brain decided that he couldn't just stand there and allow this… whatever it was to continue. He grabbed Snow and turned her so she faced a rather boring stack of shelves and tried to find his voice. Turning around to deliver words of righteous indignation and more than a little bit of disgust he opened his mouth…

And his jaw slackened.

The scene had progressed, it seemed, while he had been occupied preserving Snow's modesty, and now Rumplestiltskin's head was visible, having shifted his body to loom over the table and over the girl with the indecent amount of mouth-watering skin showing. Whatever his mouth had been doing before it was now licking a slow, delicate path up the woman's chest from the waist, eyes trained to follow the blossoming of a blush on her flawless complexion. The hand that had been gently teasing her left breast was now kneading it rather thoroughly, the sharp, claw-like nails leaving faint red marks to rival the darkening rose of her stimulated nipple. The other hand, that had been intent on memorizing the feel of her thigh, was now lost amongst the gathered fabric of the dress, and though the dwarf could not see them, thank God, the way the arm drove backwards and forwards left little doubt as to where the imp's fingers where and what they were doing.

The arm suddenly twisted a bit and the girl's hands flew from the sides of the table to tangle in the unruly mass of Rumplestiltskin's hair as she mewled, lifting her upper body before groping for a bit of sheer, shimmering fabric that she pressed against the imp's lips before eagerly devouring his mouth with hers, the fabric not seeming to hinder her as she slanted her lips expertly yet a little bit desperately against the sorcerer's. The imp seemed to welcome her actions, leaving her breast to circle her waist and press her now completely bare torso (for the chemise had finally slipped completely open around the time the girl had gotten up) against his, ravenously eating up all the small keening sounds the woman was making. He too didn't seem to mind the now moist cloth that lay between their lips, which Grumpy found odd till he managed to remember that everything about this scene was wrong, wrong, wrong and he was supposed to be shouting at about that time.

"Hey, you sick monster, what the hell do you…!"

Against his words were cut off, this time by the maidenly gasp of the brunette clinging to the Dark One in a very unmaiden-like way. The woman turned her head towards the entrance to the room, the fabric between her lips and the magician's fluttering to the surface of the table, forgotten while hands scrambled to grip the sides of her chemise and pull it close over her exposed torso.

Her companion turned also, the golden eyes that had looked upon the flushed skin of the woman's chest with unabashed adoration and molten heat now glinting coldly, anger shadowing them.

"I dare you to finish that sentence, dwarf" the imp hissed, his hand slowly and delicately retreating from the depths of the woman's thighs, caressing softly and slowly as it moved to rest more modestly atop the woman's knee, squeezing delicately for a moment "After all this is my most humble abode and you most unwelcome and uncalled guests"

The attitude from the beginning of the speech to the end changed drastically, from coiled anger to chiding amusement, but the miner was no fool and he knew that, underneath the giggling smile and the harmless quip there lurked something dark and livid and incredibly possessive of the creature atop his table.

"Yeah, well…" dwarves were not renowned for their eloquence but Grumpy was sure he had been able to string more than two words together in the past "We thought someone was… in distress. Didn't think about being polite and knocking first"

The Dark One threw his head back and laughed, his hands caressing the sleek back of the nearly-naked brunette with something akin to fondness.

"My little Belle was being rather vocal, wasn't she?"

The woman made some sort of embarrassed noise and hid her face on the crook of the magician's shoulder.

"You're never going to let me live this down, right?" her voice was husky and low and if she hadn't been contently holding onto the most despised creature in all the land Grumpy might have made some sort of whistling sound and a rather racy comment, but the situation was what it was and he had no wish to incur the wrath of the imp.

"What do you think, dearest?" though Rumplestiltskin's tone was amused and flighty, like always, there was something else there, laced with the insanity and the glee. Something the dwarf did not want to contemplate.

"Yeah, well, this is all so fascinating but if you don't mind I'm on a time bind so let's get this moving"

It was Snow the one to finally break the awkward moment. Rumplestiltskin turned his attention to her while simultaneously grabbing a golden banyan from a coat rack nearby and wrapping it deftly around the girl in his arms.

"Well, what is it that you want, dearie?"

Snow smiled, and the sight was almost as disturbing to Grumpy as whatever it was that they had interrupted between the imp and the chestnut-haired beauty.

"To kill the Queen"

Charming could scarcely spare a thought for Red, so focused he was on saving his Snow from herself. He left his tired horse to rest under the shadow of a tree inside the fertile gardens of the dreaded Dark Castle. He stormed into the foyer, his cape swishing around him, and drew out his sword, ready to deal with the imp.

Only the imp was, as far as he could see, nowhere to be found. It was a rather anticlimactic moment really, when a prince with a sword in his hand, a cape fluttering behind him and a heart full of righteous anger found himself with no foe to contend with.

"Rumplestiltskin!" he boomed, his voice echoing all around him "Show yourself!"

Only silence followed his words and Charming paused to consider what he hadn't before: maybe the imp was out tormenting someone with one of his dastardly deals, or collecting on an old, ill-gotten debt, or…

"Oh, Gods, please…!" the scream tore through the air like thunder, startling the runaway prince and causing him to almost drop his sword "Please, no more!"

The despair in the woman's voice froze the former farmer's veins, even though he could tell by the lower pitch and the trace of a foreign accent that it was not his Snow White's voice pleading for mercy somewhere in the dreariness of the Dark Castle. His chivalrous instincts pulled him forward and up the stairs hastily, reading himself for the battle he imagined he would have to wage in order to rescue whatever gentle lady had been unlucky enough to fall into the clutches of a creature so vicious people only dared to whisper about.

He was atop the tallest tower record time and took a moment to catch his breath before swinging the doors to the only room there open with enough flair to shame the hammiest of actors.

"How dare you torture an innocent maiden, you beastly…!"

Whatever words were supposed to come after that pile up unsaid in his throat, choking the princeling and rendering him speechless. But there was enough moaning and pleading coming from the woman sprawled atop the only table in the room to keep silence at bay. The girl was completely naked, her ivory skin shining with a thin sheet of sweat that caught the receding light of the afternoon sun coming from the windows. Her eyes were shut tight and her body thrashing, back arching like a bow, cherry-red lips parted slightly and breathing ragged. The prince's eyes quickly strayed past the loveliness of the woman's face to her uncovered breasts, round and pert and perfectly proportioned to the rest of the equally-luscious body and it was only when he managed to tear his eyes away from such a pleasing sight that he noticed the green-gold hands splayed beneath them, curving into the sides of the woman's ribcage, nails lovingly trailing patterns across the taut skin there.

Charming turned his eyes to the head of the table and the sight of Rumplestiltskin clad in leather breeches and little else didn't fill him with disgust as it thought it would but with raw and sudden envy. The imp was half perched atop a rather impressive chair that allowed him to bend over and rest his head between the maiden's thighs. It was clear by then that the hands around the woman's torso were not so much caressing as holding her in place so the imp could keep his famously talented tongue buried inside her folds, lapping, licking and swirling in a way that made it look like he was intent on devouring the very essence of his captive, like he had been starving for it all of his life. His eyes were closed in both deep concentration and unabashed bliss and Charming really, really wanted to think the monstrous imp was getting off on forcing his unwanted attentions upon a defenceless lass but it was impossible to ignore the way the woman's legs were curled around the creature, her feet firmly planted on his back and pushing him forward, her whole lower body decadently wrapped around the trickster. And her hands, dainty and soft, were also unmistakably cradling the magician's head, long fingers sunk deep into his hair and tugging at it at times, her whole body shuddering at the same time and the most erotic sound the prince had ever heard escaping her lips.

"Gods, Rum" her voice was raw and unashamedly filled with desire "Please, right there" she dug her feet into his back with more force "Yes…"

The imp hummed in response and the woman's eyes opened wide as she bucked her hips, gasping and scraping her nails across the sorcerer's skull which made him retract his tongue and return the favour by nipping her clit, softly first but applying more pressure to cause pleasurable pain before laving the bruised bundle of nerves with gentle, apologetic strokes of his tongue. The girl let out another gasp but the ecstasy present in it was mixed with more than a hint of surprise and the beast unwillingly tore his mouth away from his willing victim's flesh to stare into her eyes. She wasn't looking at him though but at the now wide open doors of the potion's room were a wide-eyed faux prince was dumbly standing, sword loosely held in one hand and his eyes glued rather rudely to the body of his Belle.

"Well, well, aren't we popular today" the high-pitched voice of the Dark One broke the prince out of his trance and he tried bravely to fight all his manly instincts and avert his eyes from the woman's naked body. Rumplestiltskin smirked at the prince's obvious discomfort and slowly, lazily, took both of Belle's hands and pushed her into a seating position, wrapping her arms loosely around his shoulders and pushing their chests together so her front was safely out of the other man's eyesight.

The woman, for her part, wasted no time angling her body in such a way that only the expanse of the back and one side of her hips and legs was visible, burying her blushing face on the crook of her lover's neck.

"How hard is to lock a damn door?" she huffed, annoyance and remnants of desire flecking her tone.

"Do you really want to start a discussion about how hard things are, poppet?" the trickster let out a string of giggles that were, perhaps, a little huskier than usual. Charming shuddered.

"Spare me your lewd comments, demon" he spat, trying vainly to get a hold of the bizarre situation he found himself in "I demand to know why you have what can only be a woman under a spell so wantonly draped around you"

The imp paused, his face blank and obviously insincere.

"… it's drafty in here"

Belle wasted no time wacking him on the shoulder.

"Rum!" she sounded half-outraged and half-amused before turning her face rather shyly to the handsome stranger who, to his credit, kept his eyes fixed on hers "But truly, sir, though it was kind of you to worry I'm not under any spell"

The Dark One huffed.

"Well, I was rather under the impression I was being quite effective in working my magic on you" he commented aloud, earning him another resounding punch in the chest. Charming was sure the imp was liking the displays of violence a little too much.

"Shut up and hand me your robe, you wicked man" the obvious affection laced into the nickname was unnerving "It seems our new arrival might be in a hurry too"

"Indeed, dearie" the imp sighed, shaking his head "Sad, really, how no one appreciates the beauty behind taking one's time"

He deftly plucked a discarded gold banyan from the back of his chair and placed it delicately atop the woman's shoulders.

"Well, let's get down to business, shall we dearie?" he motioned for Charming to follow him out of the room "After all the sooner you're on your way the sooner my beauty and I can get back down to it too"

Charming was sure he would never know peace again.

King George's men had completely lost any trace of the runaway prince, and time was of the essence. So it was clear that, to get what he wanted, the good king would be forced to make a deal. But no amount of summoning seemed to be working, so it the Dark One wouldn't come to the King, the King would have to come to the Dark One. That was how the monarch found himself trudging up a long line of stairs inside the very lair of the most fearsome creature he had ever encountered. His men had rather cowardly stayed behind, though taking into account the secretive nature of his many dealing with Rumplestiltskin he had allowed it.

Wishing he had donned something other than the bejewelled, heavy velvet robes that befitted his station and left the rather cumbersome crown behind King George practically collapsed against the heavy wooden doors leading to the circular chamber where he was sure he would find the trickster.

And he found him, indeed. Looming over a naked woman with alabaster skin, mouth firmly around one nipple and a hand pinching the other, while the three fingers of his other hand plunged deeply into the woman's sex, eliciting rather loud exclamations before retracting almost completely and pausing for half a second before dipping back into the warm, wet heat. The woman seemed to be quickly reaching some sort of point of no return, but every time her sighs and moans got too loud the magician would pause his ministrations to stare at her, a wicked smile about his lips.

"What is the meaning of this?" King George's voice resounded in the circular, small room, startling the busy couple. The imp turned to regard him with a raised eyebrow that clearly stated that if the king had no idea what was going on then it was no wonder her wife had never been able to conceive an heir.

He expected the girl to blush and scramble to cover herself with the golden fabric carelessly tossed to the edge of the table and then stutter some sort of harried explanation but, instead, she firmly wrapped herself around Rumplestiltskin and glared at him, blue eyes on fire.

"That's it!" her tone was angry and commanding "I can't take any more interruptions. You" she pointed her finger at the befuddled king "are going and I" she turned to shoot daggers at a very amused imp "am coming or so help me I will inflict pain like neither of you has ever felt before"

Rumplestiltskin threw his head back and laughed so hard his entire body and hers shook. He then tipped the woman's face up and gazed at her with unconcealed adoration, looking more like a worshipper beholding his deity than a man staring at a woman.

"Well, you heard my lady, your Majesty" he waved a hand at the general direction of the exit doors, his gaze still firmly locked with his lover's "Off you go, now"

The pull of magic flung the king back down the many set of stairs and out the gates of the castle, landing him on a heap at the feet of his confused men.

Moments later, while he was still trying to get over the shock of the whole experience, he heard a loud, guttural scream coming from the general direction of the tallest tower and promptly instructed his guards to fetch him his horse as quickly as possible.

When he finally found the disobedient whelp posing as his son he'd really make him suffer.