Rating: K/PG
Characters: Sam, Frodo
Warnings: Angst, implied slash.
Disclaimer: The song lyrics belong to Don McLean, Sam and Frodo belong to JRRT and his heirs. As always, I own nothing.
Vincent
Starry, starry night
Paint your palette blue and grey
Look out on a summer's day
With eyes that know the darkness in my soul
Nights like this - ages ago… lying in grass and clover…lying beside you…the two of us, looking at the stars. We were so young, so full of dreams, so full of ideas and of energy… so full of feeling…
A night like this – in a dark dreadful country…a cold night…tired from the journey, worn out by the Ring…
I wanted to end it all. I wanted to die. And but for you, I would have gone that night. You were there. You saved me.
You were always there…
Always caring for me, seeing me through the dark hours, those dreadful nights…holding me…your comforting hands…the warmth of your body…so close – so close to mine.
Now I understand
What you tried to say to me
He is gone.
My Frodo. My love.
Gone.
Forever.
I can't believe he did this to me. After all we went through…
A life with you, here at Bag-End…the two of us, you and me, love. I'd have taken care of you, of the house, of the garden…
I tried to protect you from the shadows. I tried so hard. But you went to a place from which I could not rescue you. I don't know what you know, what you have seen…
You never spoke about it. Why did you not talk to me? Why keep your Sam in the dark?
I guess you had your reasons.
And how you suffered for your sanity
And how you tried to set me free
You did not want to pass that pain onto me which was too heavy for yourself. But I could have helped you. I helped you carry the burden once, I would have done everything I could. But you were too kind to give that pain to me. You said, "Sam, you cannot always be torn in two".
But now, I always will be. I cannot stop loving you just like that. And I know – I know – you cannot stop loving me just like that.
Why does it have to be this way?
How am I to go on now? I am married, I have a wife and three wonderful children. I should be happy. But how can I?
How can I, without you?
How can I ever laugh again? Laugh, love, laugh like we did in those bright days that seem almost forgotten now…those careless days…
How can I smile at her, kiss her, love her, when all the time I'm thinking of the one person whose eyes I shall never see again, whose mouth will never touch mine again.
For they could not love you
And yet your love was true
Maybe it is better this way. No one knows what happened on the Journey, but the Shire is a different thing. Here walls have ears. The tongues start wagging before you even decide to spread a rumour. I spied on you once myself. I meant no harm, but less kind characters might do the same. I could not bear to see you – us – slanted, dragged in the dirt. Imagine Tim Sandyman telling his dirty stories in the Green Dragon Inn…
No, my love, I would not want you to be thus disgraced.
And when no hope was left in sight
On that starry starry night
You took your life as lovers often do
I had to leave you, Sam. Don't you know it hurts me too, to think that I shall never see you again? And yet it had to be. You and I…it was not to be. I can hardly bear the memories from the time I wore the Ring. They would have crushed me, and they would have crushed you in time if I had stayed with you.
But I could have told you, my love
This world was never meant for one as beautiful as you
I will always remember you. Maybe the pain will stop. Maybe it will wear off. Time heals all wounds, they say. I do not want to have to live in pain. But right now I hurt. And the one hand that could take away the pain is gone. Gone forever.
Now I think I know
What you tried to say to me
And how you suffered for your sanity
And how you tried to set me free
You wanted me to be free. You want me to forget the hardship we went through. To turn over a new leaf, to start over again. You loved me and you did not want to destroy me. But are you sure that the suffering I am going through now does not shatter me? Are you quite certain, my love?
I would not listen, I did not know how
Perhaps I'll listen now.