Ok, just before I start, I want to say this. I am 100 10/Rose, always have been, always will be, but the Martha scenario always interested me. I couldn't help feeling sorry for her that she loved the Doctor so much, but he just wasn't interested. While I was thinking this over and listening to my iPod, the song "I'm not that girl" from Wicked came on, and I thought how suited it was to the situation. I hope you enjoy!
I'm not that Girl
Martha adjusted the volume on her iPod as the song she loved so much began to play. As she listened she thought of the him, of the Doctor. She loved him so much, but he would never know or care. For him the whole world was about Rose, even now she was gone.
Hands touch, eyes meet…She thought back to the very first time she had met him. He had kissed her full on the lips, and then turned and left.
Sudden silence, sudden heat…She could vividly remember the stab of jealously she had felt in the Shakespearean inn, when they were lying in bed together and he had mentioned Rose once again.
Hearts leap, in a giddy whirl…When he had kissed her, she had known at once that she had lost some part of herself. She knew that she would always love him, and she would do anything to preserve that and stay with him.
He could be that boy, but I'm not that girl…Everything for her was about him, but everything for him was about Rose. It always would be, she would never find her place in his heart.
Don't dream too far, don't lose sight of who you are…In her heart she knew that she could never be with him. He was a time lord, a lord of time, and she was just a human girl with her feet on the ground and her head in the clouds.
Don't remember that rush of joy, he could be that boy, but I'm not that girl…She couldn't let it show, she just couldn't. If he knew how much she loved him and what she was feeling she would lose him. She had to hide her true feelings and just be his companion, like she was supposed to.
Every so often we long to steal to the land of What-Might-Have-Been, but that doesn't soften the ache we feel when reality sets back in…
She knew, deep inside, that she had already lost the battle. She cared about him too much to let go. The pain that she had felt when she believed the Carrionite had killed him had confirmed that, if she ever needed it confirming.
Don't wish, don't start, wishing only wounds the heart…Wishing was exactly what had got her into this mess. She should never have let herself start to care.
Gold hair with a gentle curl, that's the girl he chose…Rose was his past, his present and his future. She knew that, however hard it was for her to admit it.
And heaven knows, I'm not that girl.
As the heartbroken voice tricked through the headphones into her ears, Martha pressed the stop button with tears in her eyes. "I'm not that girl" she whispered to herself.
AN: So what do you think? I know a lot of it is just the song, but I would love to hear your opinions. Please review!