WHAT DO YOU MEAN I CAN'T GET REVENGE ON COBRA!" Monarch snapped

"I mean, You can't get revenge on Cobra. What part of this aren't you getting." David Bowie (meeting Monarch face to face instead of his sovereign disguise) stated

"But-but-but- WHY!?" Monarch snapped

"Cause, 1) I want these particular idiots alive, I find it odd that people who live in the eighties haven't age in the least and I'm curious as to why." David Bowie said

"ACHOO!" Mindbender sneeze as he added the anti-aging serum to cobra personal food supplies.

"Big whoop, so they have fancy ass plastic surgeon." Monarch said "Not everyone like frigging Mommy Longlegs."

"Two, No sane Guild member would join your revenge." David stated

"Why?"

"Most of them met you, they all know about your obsession and know that if they join forces with you for this, you might very well destroy Cobra so you can be the sole arch-enemy of Doctor Venture." David stated

Monarch open his mouth, but shut his mouth and nodded as he realized that pretty much true.

"And lastly... and I can't believe I am saying this, they are currently under Killinger protection."

"KILLINGER!?" Monarch gaped "Why would he protect them?"

(eighties)

"So it's agreed, the man who is now known as Cobra Commander, shall receive help from the group known as Cobra-la," Killinger stated

"Excellent, later suckers!" Cobra Commander cackled as he left.

"Are you sure that buffoon is worth it?" Pythona asked annoyed

"Trust me, they will provide a longer end game, then what my brothers offer you with Sphinx."

"Perhaps... though I must ask? Why the devil do they insist on such idiotic masks?" Pythona asked

"It's the fashion of the time." Killinger shrugged.

(Present)

"No idea, but if you think ANY sane villain will risk the wrath of Killinger, your sadly mistaken." David Bowie said

"BUT I NEED THIS! THEY PISSED ME OFF!" Monarch yelled but then thought of something. "Wait, why don't I-"

"Before you finish that terrible thought, need I remind you the Investor, while honoring the deal, usually have yourself dead or a fate worse than death," David stated

"AGGHH! I'll be back, and I will find a loophole that will allow me to attack COBRA!" Monarch snapped as he marched out of the office.

"Good luck with that, nitwit." David Bowie muttered

(Meanwhile)

"And that's how It started." Cobra Commander told his underlings (And unfortunately the dreadnok) as they were having lunch together (Surprisingly without killing one another.)

"Wait, I'm confused. Commander, you're from Cobra La! They sent you out here to conquer the world! Why the hell would you use the services of Killinger to barter a deal with people you already had a deal with?" Destro question

"Two reasons. the first was so I could be protected from the Guild of Stuck Up Jerks and Cobra could attack without impunity and bending to their stupid rules. And, before you ask, I'm almost positive it was a different guild, cause I heard their leader was someone called Force Majeure (1)."

"Alright, but what's the second reason?" Destro ask

"To negotiate the end of my alimony with my ex-wife! Worth every freaking penny!" Cobra Commander said with a cackle

"Hang on, why would Pythona agree to the ruse if it meant that she doesn't get any alimony anymore? She was your ex-wife, wasn't she?" Baroness asked suspiciously

This made Cobra Commander stopped laughing as he thought about. "Well... I guess because Golobulus ordered her to so it would make the ruse more believable. What else could it be?"

FLASHBACK!

"HA! Thanks to that idiot of an ex-husband of mine I get practically everything! And I don't have to follow that stupid morality clause I was forced to sign in my pre-nup! Saying that I can't date again!" Pythonia cackled

Killinger: (In her bedroom) Yes I think these negotiations went well for everyone combined my dear.

FLASHBACK END

"Can't we call that Killinger guy?" Mindbender "I kinda want to have a budget again!"

"Yeah! We dreadnok wouldn't mind having a evil Mary Poppins turning us into killing machines!" Zartan grinned

"Are you all morons. He's not a frigging genie whom lamp you rub and get a wish!" Cobra Commander snapped "He and his magic murder mystery bag could be anywhere and nowhere! Besides, you should be thanking me for what we DO have or rather what we DON'T HAVE!"

"Which is...?" Baroness asked

"A chip loaded with cyanide that would go off if he ever betrayed the organization with it only being a matter of time when the chip wore out and spelled your doom,"

"Ugh! Must you reference SPHINX for everything about lazy villainy."

"ONLY CAUSE THEIR STUPID COPYCAT AND I AM GLAD THEIR GONE!" Cobra Commander snapped

"Didn't they roughly start the same time you guys did." Zarana muttered

"I SWEAR TO GOLOBULUS, I WILL BREAK YOUR LIMB IF YOU IDIOT KEEP TRYING TO DEFEND SPHINX! SPHINX IS DEAD AND BURY AND I COULDN'T BE HAPPIER!" Cobra Commander roared angrily

(Meanwhile)

"I still don't see why I couldn't load some rounds into Cobra goons head." Shore Leave pouted

"As I told you, Idiot, before, What the point of a secret hideout if everyone knows about it!" Hunter Gathers snapped. "Let the villain kill their own numbers, over that bald idiot!"

"Too bad though, I heard that Cobra Commander throw a huge hissy-fit due to SPHINX getting more press coverage than them." Brock added "That would be pretty funny to see

"It not my fault OSI tend to make battles more interesting." Shore Leave shrugged.

"You ever wonder if other leaders have to listen to the idiocy of their subordinates. I'm seriously asking cause you idiots are making me miss my days as a stripper!"

Author note: I would like to thank Red Witch for most of the cobra scenes and also, for those who don't know, Force Majeure was the past sovereign before the (FAKE David Bowie).