Summary: Akechi Goro and Kurusu Akira are just two reincarnated souls who simply go about their life while life happens to them.
OR
AU!Akechi Goro and AU!Kurusu Akira are reincarnated in P5 'verse. Crack happens.
Note: This is basically a vent fic where I write crack just for the sake of winding down after having four final exams in two days. One right after the other. So this is a mess…
Warnings: Crack, Self-Indulgence To The Extreme, This Is A Mess, Zero Effort Went Into This, Things Finals Make Me Do, Reincarnation AU, Mentions Of Kamoshida And Kamoshida-esque Asshole-ness (By Which I Mean: Very Brief Mention Of Past Attempted Sexual Assault. It's Very Tiny And Not Detailed), Akechi And Akira Be In An Open Relationship, Implied Sin, Brief Discussion Of Sugar Daddy-hood And Sugar Baby-hood, Insufferable!Akechi To Akira's Sane Man, Too Much Fun With Warning Tags.
Disclaimer: Don't own P5.
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Akira stared pensively at the TV screen, taking in the features of the 'second coming of the Detective Prince'; brown hair, reddish-brown eyes, a sweet smile, a gentle demeanor.
No wonder he already had fans.
Akira sighed.
The door to the apartment he lived in opened and a voice called out, "Honey, I'm home!"
Akira merely grumbled under his breath.
He could easily hear the footsteps approaching the living room where he was currently, and come up behind him.
"Oh, you're watching that? The Detective Prince thing? My, oh my~ Do you have a thing for cute, brown-haired high school detectives?"
Akira huffed as a body climbed over the back of the couch to drop into his lap and wrap arms around his neck.
"Aren't I just mysterious?" Akechi Goro purred, fluttering his eyelashes up at Akira.
Akira deadpanned and poked Goro's cheek with a finger.
Goro sighed forlornly, "My sweet, charming beloved won't even pay me any attention."
"Attention whore." Akira rolled his eyes and Goro gasped dramatically.
"Oh, woe is me~ My beloved just called me a. A. An attention whore! How scandalous! What if someone heard you?"
"You didn't seem that concerned about it last week when we went to that new restaurant and called me an attention whore out loud because I was trying to get the waiter's attention for my order."
Goro's eyes glinted mischievously, "Your order was, as I recall, 'one hot waiter spread out for me on the table please' with a wink added at the end for good measure."
"Details."
"Oho?" Goro raised himself up to press his body flush against Akira's as he looked at him through half-lidded eyes, "Well, I know what you can have spread open for you on your bed~"
Akira poked Goro's cheek again, "Not today, not in the mood."
"Oh, darn." Goro pouted and climbed off Akira's lap, "You know where to find me in case you change your mind~" With a wink thrown over his shoulder, he sashayed his way to the bedroom.
Akira sighed for what must have been the umpteenth time that day and fished around the couch's pillows, looking for the TV's remote.
(At least Goro didn't make any comment about having the body of a fifteen year old giving him more stamina and energy to go for a long while, this time.)
He let out a small victorious nose as he wrenched the remote from between the couch's cushions and flipped through the rest of the TV channels. He blinked as his eyes caught sight of the new episode of the TV drama, Steal Yo' Hearts and cranked the volume up to its highest settings as he settled down to watch.
Goro was bound to be finished messing around with himself by the time the episode was done.
He could hear the sounds of his neighbors as they scrambled about to increase the volume of their own TVs and music players to the highest setting possible.
Their next door neighbor living in the apartment on their right screamed, "GOD, NO! DON'T START YET! AT LEAST GIVE ME A FIVE-MINUTE HEADSTART!"
Akira could then hear her slam open the door to her apartment and storm outside, her footsteps loud as she rushed to the elevators.
If Goro found out he basically had the neighbors, uh, trained to his moods, he'd be even more insufferable.
Did he have to be so loud?
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At some point during the episode, Goro had slipped out of the bedroom and into the bath to clean up, emerging fully showered after the episode ended and the credits were rolling, and heading straight to the kitchen.
"Akira! We don't have food in the fridge and I hunger!"
"Tough luck! Remember it's your turn to get groceries!"
"Ugh. I'll get them later. I'll just go get some food now."
Akira called out as he heard Goro head to the door, "That food better not be paid for by one of your sugar daddies!"
"I don't have sugar daddies!" Goro shouted as he was leaving the apartment.
"Tell that to the guy living a couple of blocks over!"
"Oh, come on!" Goro shouted again as he closed the door behind him, leaving to get food.
Akira sighed yet again, and then he straightened and his eyes flew open in shock before he vaulted over the back of the couch, rushing to the bedroom.
Goro had better not have left a mess on the bed behind! Akira slept on that bed!
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Akira had lived a whole life in the company of Akechi Goro. Heck, he even followed him after death, reborn into a new life and a new world, and met him yet again, only to be sucked into Goro's life again with disturbing ease.
(Not that Akira minded, but he thought he was the hurricane of the duo, not Goro.)
(It was probably the rebirth process that was making Goro a bit more… unrestrained.)
Besides, it wasn't like it wasn't fun to tease Goro and poke fun at him from time to time (okay, most of the time).
"You graduated from being a sugar baby to having a sugar baby?" Akira asked, amused, as he watched Goro pose for a Kosei student who wanted to (nay, needed) Goro to become his model.
His nude model.
"I told you." Goro sniffed indignantly, "I didn't, still don't, have sugar daddies! And similarly, I'm not anyone's sugar daddy let alone Yusuke's." Goro blinked and frowned contemplatively, "Not that Yusuke won't benefit from me becoming his sugar daddy… actually…"
"And that's your cue to stop right there, honey," Akira drawled as he saw the wide-eyed look on Yusuke's face.
"Don't mind Goro, kiddo."
Yusuke's face scrunched, "But aren't we the same age, Akira-san?"
"I see you haven't dropped the –san yet." Akira pouted, "But, yes, we are. I just have more Goro-based seniority."
Yusuke blinked, "Alright, senpai."
Akira pouted harder and Goro had to restrain the urge to laugh out loud, "Congratulations, Aki-kun, you're now a recognized senpai."
Akira let his eyes droop to half mast and leaned towards Goro, "Well," He purred, "You're still senpai, senpai."
Goro blushed and chuckled breathlessly.
"Well, aren't you a flirt?"
"Always have been, babe."
The two turned their attention at Yusuke when he hummed thoughtfully, "Would you model for me as well, senpai?"
Akira blinked, "Me?" His plain ass?
Goro nudged him in the side. Hard.
(Akira highly suspected that Goro had a sixth sense for every time Akira called himself plain-looking.)
"Yes." Yusuke nodded, "It seems your presence brings out another side of Akechi-san. You complement each other." Yusuke looked deep in thought as he added, "Like you are each other's foils."
Goro cocked his head to the side with amusement, and Akira had to repress a chuckle.
"Akechi-san. Your pose." Yusuke snapped out of his thoughts to send Goro an absolutely adorable reprimanding look.
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When Akira had managed to convince his parents to let him move to Tokyo after he finished middle school, he applied and was accepted to Shujin, while Goro attended Kosei.
Goro had suggested that Akira apply for Kosei, but Akira had shot that idea down fast.
(Goro with his usual insufferable self would make some dramatic scene with him and cause rumors to spread about the whole school grounds, so no thank you.)
The decision to apply to Shujin turned out to have some unexpected… not exactly upsides but…
Let it be known that Akira did not tolerate people like Kamoshida Suguru, and the mere thought of what he could do in Shujin if left to run unsupervised due to how lax the principle was, made Akira shudder in disgust and rage.
Akira had never stopped nursing a grudge the size of the universe against sexual offenders since he was fifteen back in his previous life and had seen a temple priest attempt to drag Goro off to a secluded corner; since he was fifteen and had thrown himself at the priest, all claws and teeth to get him away from Goro, uncaring that the priest could literally call forth heavenly wrath to strike him where he stood.
Kamoshida was no temple priest, he had no access to any magic whatsoever, and had no contact with any deity he could seek protection from. Akira would tear him a new one, and he'd make him regret-
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"-speaking of strange incidents." The show hostess smiled blindingly, "There is the news of what happened with Kamoshida Suguru, former Olympic medalist and current teacher at Shujin Academy. What are your thoughts, Akechi-kun?"
Goro smiled back at the hostess, just as blindingly, "I have seen his face, and it looks like he ended up in a spat with a cat. A cat with quite the impressive set of claws; the scratches looked deep."
"A cat?" The host chuckled, "You believe it's a cat."
"It's highly likely, as anyone who'd seen his face could guess. Besides, I've had my fair share of scratches from my cat as well."
"My!" The host honed in on the new bit of information, "A cat, you said? You own a cat?"
Goro chuckled, "I own the cat and the cat owns me, we have a mutual understanding between each other. He's such an adorable, handsome floof with sharp eyes. Unfortunately he's camera shy." Goro pouted slightly.
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"You called me a cat! On TV! I can't believe you called me a cat!"
"But it's the truth!"
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Goro frowned and pressed his lips together into a displeased line, dragging Akira closer to him to bury his head into Akira's messy hair.
He felt Akira turn around in bed to face him and wrap him in his arms, "Bad dream?"
Goro grumbled and let one of his eyes crack open slightly, "It's that dream again. The one with the blue room and short man with long nose."
Akira raised his hands to tangle them in Goro's hair before he raised himself to press his forehead against Goro's, letting their mental link open up and allow the memories to flood into Akira's mind.
The two only rarely used their mental link due to the risk of information overload that could happen to either or both of them, but the recurring dreams Goro had been seeing for a year now about that very same blue room and the long-nosed man were worrying, as they seemed to press heavily on Goro's mind, as if they were attempting to influence it in some way.
Akira was willing to take the risk to use the mental link to see for himself, so that they could find clues because Goro could never remember any other details. Hell, it was lucky he even recalled the few details he did.
Akira pulled back with a frown, unfortunately, the memories were already slipping from Goro's mind, and so Akira couldn't find anything he didn't already know.
Goro took one look at Akira's face and his frown deepened, "Nothing new, yeah?"
Akira nodded, "I think we should start actively looking for the cause."
Goro pressed a hand to his own forehead and closed his eyes, digging deep into his psyche, if they were looking to confront whatever asshole trying to but in on their lives, then…
This world didn't have the obstacles that demanded the two use their skills from their previous life to counter them; this world didn't have people who could use magic, period.
And so, both Goro and Akira never had to call on to the power lying dormant in their cores.
But now…
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"The word of the day is deicide." Goro declared as he sat down on Sae's desk and started flipping through the file in his hand.
Sae looked up at him, eyebrow raised, "If you're referring to the mess with Shido, then I'd like to tell you that it's completely inaccurate as Shido is no god and no one had killed him, not even in the metaphorical sense. Someone leaked information about his immoral dealings, true, but it's the outrage of the public that's causing the problems for Shido more than anything else.
"Now, get back to work on Madarame's file, you personally asked to take care of his case and I indulged you, so you better not disappoint me."
"Oh, that's not what I mean." Goro chuckled before he gestured towards the screen in the office, broadcasting a news coverage about a protest calling for Shido to go down, "It looks like someone killed the god of apathy, and suddenly, everyone cares."
Sae snorted, "I told you to get back to work, didn't I?"
Goro saluted her, "Yes, ma'am."
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End