A long time ago, in a private school, far. far. away..
School Wars: A New Hope
1st of all: Disclaimer. I do not own Star Wars; George Lucas does. I do not own Sailor Moon; Naoko Takeuchi does. In fact, just to be on the safe side, I don't own anything or anybody, and any other allusions in this don't belong to me either.
2nd of all: Here's some background info, because this is my very first ever Fanfic:
Our wily, clever, and mostly friendless heroine, Anna, is trapped in 7th grade at a tyrannic middle school, St. Ignatius XXIV, that is governed by an evil, dictatorial hierarchy of teachers who long to stomp out every last spark of joy and happiness in the far reaches of the galaxy, I mean school. And so our story begins.
Anna stared at the swirling white words scratched on the chalkboard and felt bile rise in the back of her throat. The wave of nausea that washed over her wasn't because the surprise ten-page report on this Pope Ignatius guy, whoever he was, that was due tomorrow would earn her a big fat "E" and destroy any and all hopes she had of pulling a C on her next report card, but because the she would have to write the report with a partner. Quickly counting heads, Anna gritted her teeth when she saw that there was an odd number of students in the classroom, all identical in their navy blue St. Ignatius uniform sweatshirts. Three guesses as to who would have no partner.
"Who wants to be Anna's partner?" roared Ms. Debeau from behind her, "That's right, we have a partnerless student over here! Any takers!" Anna glared venomously back at all the eyes that were suddenly rolling toward her.
Of course that Monday morning was rainy, so the students were confined to their classrooms for recess. She pretended to sit at her desk and study for a few seconds before Ms. Debeau took a romance novel from her desk and ambled out of the room toward the teacher's lounge; she wouldn't be back for a long time. Then Anna jumped up and leaned casually against the open door, looking left and right to assure herself that no Hall Sentries were in sight. Of course, it didn't matter, because Anna was skillful enough to sneak around even when the teachers were in the hall. That was Anna: con artist, masquerader, and over all sneaky person. That was when it happened..
Two girls from the other class, Anna didn't know either of them, suddenly slammed into her and dragged her into the bathroom.
"Hey! Lemme go!" yelled Anna, trying to break free, but the tall, skinny girl on the left had pinned her up against a stall door. In the bathroom there was already a mob of girls who had escaped from their classrooms with illegal hall passes, eating, drinking, tap-dancing, swinging back and forth from the stalls. normal bathroom stuff. Anna then turned and faced the other girl who had shanghaied her: the one wearing a funky brown hood on her head.
"You're Anna Danser, right?" said Hood-girl.
"That's me!" said Anna, then she bit her tongue, wishing that she'd made up a code name or something. After all, this weird pair could very well be bounty hunters. There were WANTED posters hung up all over the school offering a homework pass for the capture of the elusive Anna Danser. Mr. Nomax, the diabolical computer guy, had an especially large price on Anna's head: a life-long immunity to detention for whatever obsequious scum bag turned her in.
"Spit it out," Anna said, folding her arms menacingly, "What do you want?"
"I," said Hood-girl, "Am Mae Chun-Chan, and this is my apprentice, Abby Schindler."
" I want to be a stunt rollerblader," Abby announced, "Like my father."
"Your dad was a stunt rollerblader?" Anna was impressed.
"Yeah." Then Abby pulled a deranged face and said in a New Yorkern accent, "He's also a foiah-foightah at the foiah staition!" Anna grinned. She was already liking this weird apprentice of Mae's.
"Well," Mae said, getting right down to business, "I'll be frank with you. The two of us need to make our way through the hallway down the the library. during lunch."
"During lunch?" Anna laughed, "Are you crazy? Nobody can get all the way down to the library during lunch with all those teachers lurking the halls." Then Anna realized what Mae was getting at, ".except me."
"Right-o," said Mae, "We need you to guide us. The entire 7th grade knows you're the best at sneaky stuff." She made for the door.
"Hold on a second." Anna threw herself in front of Mae's path, "My services ain't cheap. What'll you give me for getting you down there safely?"
Mae thought for a moment. "I'll give you a pudding cup from my lunch," she offered.
"Chocolate or vanilla?"
"Tapioca."
"You've got yourself a deal!" Anna enthusiastically shook Mae Chun- Chan's hand. "Meet me here at lunchtime." And she left. Come lunchtime Anna was sitting cross-legged on a toilet and showing to Abby and Mae a crude floorplan of St. Ignatius' hallways. The "Destination: Library" was marked with a star, and right next to that was a big black scowly-face. "Whose room is that?" Abby pointed to the ominous face.
"That," said Anna gravely, "Is the room of THE most nasty, unfair, and evil teacher in the entire school. the Computer Guy!" Abby and Mae stared. "You know," said Anna, waving her hands, "Mr. Nomax."
"Oh, him!" Mae exclaimed, "Yeah, he's a grouch! He gave me a detention for sneezing once."
"Anyway," Anna said, rolling up the floor plan and stuffing it in an unused heating vent, "We'd better get going. Remember what I told you. Keep to the sides of the halls, walk slow, and keep your heads down. And whatever you do, do NOT lose your hall passes. It cost me an arm and a leg to get those things, and they're very valuable." So together they crept through the halls, clutching the precious scraps of paper, when Mrs. Hopps, the cranky, lemon-faced teacher rounded a corner and plowed across the hall directly toward the three.
"Here comes Mrs. Hopps," Anna whispered, "She's a sucker for a friendly student. Why, HELLO, Mrs. Hopps!" Anna pasted on her best phony grin, and Abby and Mae gasped when they saw Mrs. Hopps actually. smile and say pleasantly,
"Hello, girls!"
That incident safely avoided, the group then ran into Mr. Wieverborn, the psycho science teacher with a big fuzzy moustache on his face.
"Hey, Mr. Wieverborn!" Anna called, waving her arms in the air, "What do you mean when you say that you can't walk into a wall?" Mr. Wieverborn sighed.
"Anna, you've been bugging me about this since the beginning of the year! For the last time. IT IS SCIENTIFICALLY IMPOSSIBLE TO WALK INTO A WALL!"
"No! It's not!" Anna insisted, "Watch! I'll walk into a wall right now!" She did so. "See? See?"
"Say," Mr. Wieverborn said, fingering his moustache suspiciously, "Shouldn't you be in lunch right now?"
"And what about bumblebees?!"
"Ack!" he yelled, running away, "Goodbye, Anna!"
But as soon as Mr. Wieverborn left, Ms. Gorspreicht appeared. Anna felt her blood run cold, realizing that she didn't know how to repel this one teacher. Ms. Gorspreicht caught Anna's eye and frowned, then walked quickly toward the three with an unpleasant scowl on her face. Could this be the end? Anna wondered, her heart racing wildly, Were her illegal school-wide excursions about to meet their untimely demise???... The horror! The horror!!!....
That's the end of chapter 1, folks. I know the similarity to Star Wars isn't that obvious, but it gets better as the story goes on, I promise!. Please review, and tell me if you love it, hate it, or think I should die slowly in a fiery explosion. *^_^* -Nike Shizu
School Wars: A New Hope
1st of all: Disclaimer. I do not own Star Wars; George Lucas does. I do not own Sailor Moon; Naoko Takeuchi does. In fact, just to be on the safe side, I don't own anything or anybody, and any other allusions in this don't belong to me either.
2nd of all: Here's some background info, because this is my very first ever Fanfic:
Our wily, clever, and mostly friendless heroine, Anna, is trapped in 7th grade at a tyrannic middle school, St. Ignatius XXIV, that is governed by an evil, dictatorial hierarchy of teachers who long to stomp out every last spark of joy and happiness in the far reaches of the galaxy, I mean school. And so our story begins.
Anna stared at the swirling white words scratched on the chalkboard and felt bile rise in the back of her throat. The wave of nausea that washed over her wasn't because the surprise ten-page report on this Pope Ignatius guy, whoever he was, that was due tomorrow would earn her a big fat "E" and destroy any and all hopes she had of pulling a C on her next report card, but because the she would have to write the report with a partner. Quickly counting heads, Anna gritted her teeth when she saw that there was an odd number of students in the classroom, all identical in their navy blue St. Ignatius uniform sweatshirts. Three guesses as to who would have no partner.
"Who wants to be Anna's partner?" roared Ms. Debeau from behind her, "That's right, we have a partnerless student over here! Any takers!" Anna glared venomously back at all the eyes that were suddenly rolling toward her.
Of course that Monday morning was rainy, so the students were confined to their classrooms for recess. She pretended to sit at her desk and study for a few seconds before Ms. Debeau took a romance novel from her desk and ambled out of the room toward the teacher's lounge; she wouldn't be back for a long time. Then Anna jumped up and leaned casually against the open door, looking left and right to assure herself that no Hall Sentries were in sight. Of course, it didn't matter, because Anna was skillful enough to sneak around even when the teachers were in the hall. That was Anna: con artist, masquerader, and over all sneaky person. That was when it happened..
Two girls from the other class, Anna didn't know either of them, suddenly slammed into her and dragged her into the bathroom.
"Hey! Lemme go!" yelled Anna, trying to break free, but the tall, skinny girl on the left had pinned her up against a stall door. In the bathroom there was already a mob of girls who had escaped from their classrooms with illegal hall passes, eating, drinking, tap-dancing, swinging back and forth from the stalls. normal bathroom stuff. Anna then turned and faced the other girl who had shanghaied her: the one wearing a funky brown hood on her head.
"You're Anna Danser, right?" said Hood-girl.
"That's me!" said Anna, then she bit her tongue, wishing that she'd made up a code name or something. After all, this weird pair could very well be bounty hunters. There were WANTED posters hung up all over the school offering a homework pass for the capture of the elusive Anna Danser. Mr. Nomax, the diabolical computer guy, had an especially large price on Anna's head: a life-long immunity to detention for whatever obsequious scum bag turned her in.
"Spit it out," Anna said, folding her arms menacingly, "What do you want?"
"I," said Hood-girl, "Am Mae Chun-Chan, and this is my apprentice, Abby Schindler."
" I want to be a stunt rollerblader," Abby announced, "Like my father."
"Your dad was a stunt rollerblader?" Anna was impressed.
"Yeah." Then Abby pulled a deranged face and said in a New Yorkern accent, "He's also a foiah-foightah at the foiah staition!" Anna grinned. She was already liking this weird apprentice of Mae's.
"Well," Mae said, getting right down to business, "I'll be frank with you. The two of us need to make our way through the hallway down the the library. during lunch."
"During lunch?" Anna laughed, "Are you crazy? Nobody can get all the way down to the library during lunch with all those teachers lurking the halls." Then Anna realized what Mae was getting at, ".except me."
"Right-o," said Mae, "We need you to guide us. The entire 7th grade knows you're the best at sneaky stuff." She made for the door.
"Hold on a second." Anna threw herself in front of Mae's path, "My services ain't cheap. What'll you give me for getting you down there safely?"
Mae thought for a moment. "I'll give you a pudding cup from my lunch," she offered.
"Chocolate or vanilla?"
"Tapioca."
"You've got yourself a deal!" Anna enthusiastically shook Mae Chun- Chan's hand. "Meet me here at lunchtime." And she left. Come lunchtime Anna was sitting cross-legged on a toilet and showing to Abby and Mae a crude floorplan of St. Ignatius' hallways. The "Destination: Library" was marked with a star, and right next to that was a big black scowly-face. "Whose room is that?" Abby pointed to the ominous face.
"That," said Anna gravely, "Is the room of THE most nasty, unfair, and evil teacher in the entire school. the Computer Guy!" Abby and Mae stared. "You know," said Anna, waving her hands, "Mr. Nomax."
"Oh, him!" Mae exclaimed, "Yeah, he's a grouch! He gave me a detention for sneezing once."
"Anyway," Anna said, rolling up the floor plan and stuffing it in an unused heating vent, "We'd better get going. Remember what I told you. Keep to the sides of the halls, walk slow, and keep your heads down. And whatever you do, do NOT lose your hall passes. It cost me an arm and a leg to get those things, and they're very valuable." So together they crept through the halls, clutching the precious scraps of paper, when Mrs. Hopps, the cranky, lemon-faced teacher rounded a corner and plowed across the hall directly toward the three.
"Here comes Mrs. Hopps," Anna whispered, "She's a sucker for a friendly student. Why, HELLO, Mrs. Hopps!" Anna pasted on her best phony grin, and Abby and Mae gasped when they saw Mrs. Hopps actually. smile and say pleasantly,
"Hello, girls!"
That incident safely avoided, the group then ran into Mr. Wieverborn, the psycho science teacher with a big fuzzy moustache on his face.
"Hey, Mr. Wieverborn!" Anna called, waving her arms in the air, "What do you mean when you say that you can't walk into a wall?" Mr. Wieverborn sighed.
"Anna, you've been bugging me about this since the beginning of the year! For the last time. IT IS SCIENTIFICALLY IMPOSSIBLE TO WALK INTO A WALL!"
"No! It's not!" Anna insisted, "Watch! I'll walk into a wall right now!" She did so. "See? See?"
"Say," Mr. Wieverborn said, fingering his moustache suspiciously, "Shouldn't you be in lunch right now?"
"And what about bumblebees?!"
"Ack!" he yelled, running away, "Goodbye, Anna!"
But as soon as Mr. Wieverborn left, Ms. Gorspreicht appeared. Anna felt her blood run cold, realizing that she didn't know how to repel this one teacher. Ms. Gorspreicht caught Anna's eye and frowned, then walked quickly toward the three with an unpleasant scowl on her face. Could this be the end? Anna wondered, her heart racing wildly, Were her illegal school-wide excursions about to meet their untimely demise???... The horror! The horror!!!....
That's the end of chapter 1, folks. I know the similarity to Star Wars isn't that obvious, but it gets better as the story goes on, I promise!. Please review, and tell me if you love it, hate it, or think I should die slowly in a fiery explosion. *^_^* -Nike Shizu