DISCLAIMER: I don't own neopets. Glad I don't, actually.
From the author: WASSUP, GUYS? Heh heh...yes, Itsy is back to spoofify yet another plot! So far, this Cyodrake Gaze plot is crap, and it needs a little funnying up by yours truly. So sit back, relax, grab some popcorn, and LAUGH.
Chapter ONE
It began last night... At dinner
Cap'n: Ah, Orrin... you're finished with the inventory of our supplies already? I'm impressed.
Orrin (high from smoking a doobie): -cough- Huh? What?
Cap'n: I said, are you done?
Orrin: Uh...no... I've still got a bit more to do...
Cap'n: Is that so? Well you better getcho BITCH ASS back to work, then!
(Orrin is back in the store room and the Captain is standing at the door.)
Cap'n: If this ship is to continue sailing smoothly, then our duties must come first, sailor. Now get to it, and don't come out until EVERY LAST THONG IS ACCOUNTED FOR! -slams door-
As you can see, I take excellent care of my crew...-cough- Moving on!
Cap'n: -walks into the dining room to find Hoban pointing at everyone-
Hoban: Yeah, let's see you laugh when I sail you into a storm!
Linae: Yo mama!
Hoban: Yo mama is my ho!
Linae: NIGGA!
Hoban: -walks off in a huff-
Cap'n: Hoban...
Hoban: -flips him off-
Cap'n: Well...what was that about?
Linae: Ah, nothing much... He's just grumpy, as usual.
So we settled in and ate...
And ate...
And ate...
And---
Skarl: FOOD! -pounces on table-
Then, after supper, the skies grew dark... I wonder why...
The Darkest Faerie: MWAHAHAHAHAHA!
Tormund: -throws a brick at her-
(The captain and his first mate Shumi are out on deck, looking at the clouds)
Shumi: -looks through telescope- There's a nasty storm headed our way, captain. -hands him telescope-
Cap'n: -looks through it- Wha? I don't see anything!
Shumi: Uh, sir, you're lookin' through it from the wrong side...
Cap'n: Hur hur...right. I knew that. I'm serious. -switches it around- Hmm...that looks like serious trouble. -throws the telescope back to Shumi-
Shumi: -gets hit- Ow. Lol.
Cap'n: ALL HANDS ON DICK! WE'VE NOT A MOMENT TO LOSE!
Crew (standing there with stupid looks on their faces): o.o
Cap'n: Well...?
Orrin: You said 'all hands on dick'...
Cap'n: Err... o.o... -inches away-
Shumi: -sigh- All hands on deck!
(The crew all run off to do different stuff.)
Cap'n: COME ON, PUT YOUR BACKS INTO IT!
Bonju (the chef): -crack- Eep! O.O;
(The Cyodrake Gaze gets tossed through the waves.)
Cap'n: Stand schlong, men!
Crew: o.o...
Cap'n: Oh fuck, what did I say this time?
We battled the storm as best we could, but wind and waves took most of our supplies.
Orrin: AW FUCK! THAT WAS THE LAST CRATE OF WEED!
The next morning...
Cap'n: That storm hurt us pretty badly...we need to get back on course. Where's Hoban?
That shoyru with the weapons: He's probably off napping somewhere, lazy fucker... Which reminds me - has anyone seen Orrin?
Cap'n: -gulp- -hands keys to Shumi- First Mate Shumi, go unlock the storeroom and get Orrin right away! In the meantime, I'll search for a place to dick.
Shumi: ...uh, captain...
Cap'n: -sigh- Don't even start...
(Captain looks through telescope and sees Krawk Island)
Cap'n: -turns to the shoyru again- Looks like our only choice is Krawk Island; we'd never reach Mystery Island in this condition.
Shumi: Captain...
Cap'n: Yuh?
Shumi: You need to hear this.
Cap'n: I don't hear anything...
Shumi: Well, Orrin hasn't started speaking yet...
Cap'n: Oh, uh...I KNEW THAT. I swear... -darting eyes-
Orrin: Last night, through the porthole, I heard a scream and saw someone fall into the water...
Cap'n: ORLY?
Orrin: YARLY!
We searched the Cyodrak's Gaze from bow to stern, but Hoban was nowhere to be found.
Anshu (looking in a barrel): Hello? -echo-
Me: Now why the fuck would he be in a stupid barrel?
It seems that Orrin indeed saw Hoban fall into the water...
Cap'n: Now we're stuck on Krawk Island until the ship's repaired. As soon as we can, we'll put out to sea and search for our lost crewman, in case he miraculously survived...
Orrin (crying over his lost weed): Gone...gone! All gone! And never coming back! -sobs-
Cap'n: See? My crew already misses him. If you spot our lost crewmember or hear anything that might lead to his discovery, I'd appreciate it greatly if you would let me know.
Me: A'IGHT BITCH. -mutters- I better get a fucking reward for this...