Disclaimer: I don't own the song or the show or profit from this in anyway.
A/N: I couldn't help but write this after I heard the song Radioactive by Imagine Dragons, I'm hopelessly in love with the song and this popped to mind. Enjoy!
Summary: "Looks like this is the end of the road for me, Cas." AU 'The End'. Mentallyunstable!Dean. Druggie!Cas. No pairings. Deathfic.
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"Glad to see your back."
The returning 'soliders' turned from the Jeeps where they were unloading supplies to watch as Dean hopped down the wood wall lining the perimeter with a burning cigarette hanging from his mouth, "glad to be back sir."
Dean smirked in return as he started his regular inspection of returning warriors and stopped at a young blonde haired woman who was no more than twenty. Running his eyes up and down her body he lingered on her eyes before pulling the cigarette from his mouth and shooting her right between the eyes.
"What the hell? Why'd you shot her?" Chuck asked running from where he had been instructing the flow of inventory.
"Infected." Was the simple answer the hunter gave continuing down the line.
"You couldn't have possibly known if she was infected or not; they've only been back a minute." The former prophet argued as he paced alongside the leader of the camp.
"Only takes a minute Chuck," the man replied as he came to the end of the line and turned to the shorter man, "now I don't tell you how to do your job do I?"
"Well actually-"Chuck tried to interject but was cut off.
"Don't tell me how to do mine."
The hunters watched as the crazed man who claimed to be their leader wandered into the heart of camp and they were left to deal with the dead.
"I'm sorry Matthew." Chuck condoled as he watched the grieving black haired man cradling his girlfriend's body. Amanda was the third this week.
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"Have you seen Dean at all?" Castiel asked Chuck as he sat down next to him at lunch.
"Oh I've seen him alright," he answered picking up what looked like another meal of venison meatloaf, "killed Amanda this morning. Castiel he is killing more people then we can afford to lose, innocent people too."
Castiel frowned at the new revelation. He hadn't talked to Dean lately, but they kept tabs on each other making sure to watch either other's back. He was about to question further when the doors next to them burst open and Dean stumbled in.
"Congratulations to those of you who made it back this morning," Dean slurred as he jumped onto a large wooden table in the front of the room kicking food onto the floor as he went, "I want to announce that there is another recon mission going out this afternoon."
The citizens of Camp Chitaqua gasped. It was rare if they went on missions twice a month, but Dean was proposing two missions in less than a week!
"You can't be serious man! We just got back from the last one." One angry citizen yelled from their spot and was quickly joined by other angry voices until Dean stopped it with the roar of his voice.
"I bet you wish I was joking don't you man," Dean answered taking another drag of his cigarette and continued to pace the table top, "but I'm as serious as a heart attack. I just wanted to give you all pep talk before we leave. When we're out there I want each and every one of you to have each other's back. I want you to watch over each other like they're your brothers, and don't back stab them, lie to them or betray them because brothers don't do that. Don't sacrifice yourself for them just go out and do what you can to keep yourself and them alive. That's all we want is to be is alive." He trailed off looking out the window using his free hand to dig out his flask and take a drink, "But then I guess we all know that. We leave at three."
Without further ado he jumped from the table and started for the doors before Castiel jumped up and grabbed his arm, "Hey Dean."
Turning around Dean replied, "How you doing Cas?"
Looking over his friend he found the hunter looked completely wiped. There were bags under his eyes, wrinkles in his t-shirt hinting at multiple days of wear and the smell coming off the man was offending. Castiel knew he wasn't in a place to judge on appearances as his were always questionable at best with his orgies and sessions of 'relaxation' leaving little time left sober for him to worry about appearances, but Dean's was worrying. The man had always liked to look his best regardless of the conditions, "When was the last time you slept?"
"Two or three days give or take." The man answered chillingly as he started back towards the doors, "now if that's all I want to grab my holster and clean my gun before we leave."
"Dean you need to sleep it isn't good for you and we can't trust you to have our backs if you're falling asleep." Cas replied staring down the man with his stormy blue eyes.
"Don't tell me what to do," Green eyes answered in anger taking the fallen angel by his shirt collar and pushing him against the wall, "I've done more under worse conditions."
"I'm coming with." Castiel replied as he was pressed against the aged wood feeling splinters dig into his back.
This shocked both men but it was Dean who answered first.
"I don't think that's such a good idea. You haven't been out since you broke your leg last spring."
Worry for his friend outweighed any concerns he had for himself. Always had ever since he fell for the human, "I'm coming Dean," he answered weaseling his way from the rough grip and turning to his own cabin he yelled over his shoulder, "I'll meet you by the Jeeps at three."
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"Do you really think this is wise Castiel," Jesse, his roommate asked as they got ready for the field, "Dean doesn't have his head on straight and hasn't for a long time and you," he said getting the messy haired man's attention while he waved his hand up and down his body, "are frankly in no shape to be out fighting those Croats."
"I'm fine Jesse. Now quiz me one more time on the symptoms." Cas asked as he finished strapping his leg holster on and packing his ammo.
"Aggression, violence, two hours before they start to change." The younger red haired man answered watching as his roommate got ready for battle.
"Good. Now let's go."
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"We are here for one reason and one reason only," Their leader preached as the convoy stopped outside the gates of the Croatian quarantine zone. Bow legged stride fully present as he waved his automatic rifle to and fro with his words, "we are here to kill as many of those monsters as we can; pure and simple. Just kill as many of those motherfuckers as you can and save your bacon. I want all of you back here by sundown."
He looked around watching as some of the regular hunters rolled their eyes at him and others shook their heads with disgust. Growling in anger the green eyed man yelled once more, "Do you understand me Soliders?"
Everyone froze noticing the crazed glint in their leader's eye and knew then their leader was a broken man, had been broken way longer than any of them had known him, "Yes sir" rang echoed through the air causing a few stray birds to flutter out of the nearby trees.
Castiel watched with sadness as his friend fell apart in front of his charges. It was May 2nd, Sammy's birthday, he figured the older brother had a reason to act out, but it had been nearly five years since Sam had said yes in Detroit and Dean had come back to Camp Chitaqua broken into so many tiny pieces it was hard to tell where they belonged.
"Then let's go shoot us some Croatian ass!"
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Walking through what use to be Kansas City was eerie. It looked like a warzone. Cars were broken and wrecked, tossed across the road and into buildings as if they weighed nothing. Buildings were collapsing and burnt out shells of what had no doubt been a series of impressive structures.
As he and Dean led the group down the main strip of town he could see the movie theater still advertising Route 666, a movie he, Dean and Sam had gone to see on one of their last free nights but left half way through when it to closely resembled a case the brothers had worked years earlier.
As they walked he could hear the crunch of broken glass under their boots and when the wind blew just right he could smell the smoke from the long dead fires.
"So listen up," Dean said breaking the silence turning around to face the group, "this is where we go our separate ways. Remember Jeeps by sundown. Don't back stab your brothers and kill as many of these bad ass motherfuckers as you can."
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Cas watched as his friends separated into pairs as was standard for hunting parties and started to disperse around the area. Everyone looked bored as they walked away whispering to their partner and looked back at Dean.
"Guess it's you and me buddy. Just like old times right?" Dean asked as he led the way further down the street towards an old motel.
"I just wanted to say about earlier, I'm serious. You need to rest or else it won't turn out well for either one of us." The shorter man said breaking the silence as he managed to keep pace with Dean.
"I'm fine Cas. In fact I remember very clearly that before the Apocalypse I was averaging like four hours of sleep every couple of days. What are four less hours?" The ever vigilant man replied raising his gun scanning for threats.
"Four hours is still four hours Dean. I don't mean to be so forward with you but you look like shit man," he paused but continued when he got a glare from his friend, "and that's saying a lot coming from a man who smokes weed, does other questionable drugs and has sex like five times a day in organized parties. If I can notice I can only imagine what everyone else is thinking. Doesn't that bother you Dean?"
"Fuck what everyone thinks." Was all he got in return.
"The old Dean would care. The one I use to know." He replied quietly kicking an old pop can with his worn boot.
Hearing that Dean swung around pointing his gun at Cas's chest, "That Dean died a long time ago Castiel. He died when Sam said yes in Detroit, when he was left with no one in this world that honestly gave two shits about him."
"Dean I-"He tried to protest at the yelling man.
"Shut it feathers! I'll give you it to you that you helped me in a couple of tight spots, but you've also thrown me under the bus and backed me over more times than I can count. You let me escape Purgatory and feel guilty for months, months! You let me think I killed you, that I feed you to the wolves when we escaped. Hell you're the reason we were there making deals with Crowley with Purgatory spirits and releasing the Leviathans in to the world; all your fault man."
It hurt to hear this thrown back at him, but he knew it was true. He had screwed up in the past and now he along with the rest of the world was living the consequences, "I'm sorry Dean. I know what I did was wrong, but we've all made mistakes." He watched as Dean's eyes glazed over and the gun slowly lowered from where it was pressing against his chest, "We both made it through that and I'm sorry you lost Sam along the way, but he wouldn't have wanted you to live like this."
"You don't know Sam. Never have and never will thanks to what we did." Dean muttered shaking his head and starting silently back towards the motel.
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It was quiet between the two friends as they swept the lobby of the motel. Guns raised and ready to shoot the monsters if they presented themselves to them. Stepping towards what use to be the check in counter Cas saw movement from the corner of his eye, "Dean, movement at three o'clock." He whispered slowly moving towards the hallway and saw out of the corner of his eye as Dean nodded and followed close behind him.
Before either could make another move a large group of Croats emerged from behind the counter and hallway taking the hunters by surprise.
"Shit! Cas run I'll hold them off." Dean yelled shooting his gun rapid fire at the monsters as they threatened to come closer.
"I'm not leaving you here." He answered shooting his gun as he backpedaled towards the door.
"I'm right behind you man," Dean yelled and soon they were both running from the building with expletives flying from their mouths. Castiel kept running, running for all he was worth when he noticed he only heard one set of frantic footsteps. Slowing to turn around he found he was completely alone.
Spinning around in the empty street he saw the sun was still relatively high in the sky so they had time before they were expected back.
Hesitantly with his gun raised he walked back towards the scene of the crime when he heard rapid gun fire and then nothing. Fearing the worst he prepared himself for what he might find, fearing the worst.
Lying outside the movie theater were the bodies of the Croats that had followed them from the motel and in the middle of all of it was Dean. The man lay panting with his gun resting on his chest and as Cas was walking forward he watched with sick fascination as the younger man schooled his features into a neutral expression before twisting his leg from between the rungs of the sewer grate; breaking his leg into order to free it with a sickening crack.
"Dean!" He screamed running forward, but halted when he got an unexpected answer.
"Don't come any closer Cas they got me." Was grunted out from the hunter the voice filled with pain.
Stepping closer he saw his friend covered in blood. Some from the monsters that had attacked them and from a large cut on the man's side and leaking blood at alarming rate, "Shit"
He was surprised by the laugh from Dean as he laid on the ground with his leg showing bone, "Glad to see my sense of humor wore off on somebody. "
"This isn't funny Dean."
"Oh come on its a little funny." The worn man answered as he eased himself against a partially melted chaise of a newer model Impala, "well looks like this is the end of the road for me; can't say I didn't expect it though."
"I did," he whispered as he looked his friend over. Blonde hair was already matted with blood making him flashback to Purgatory. The worn blue denim jacket Dean always wore was sticking to his side with the red liquid.
"Really Cas? You've known me for nearly a decade and you expected me to make it out of this," he answered gesturing to the wasteland around him, "alive? I give you a lot of credit then because I sure as hell didn't. Maybe I'm a visionary of sorts then, predetermining what people do. Always did see Dad kicking himself killed because of yellow eyes, Jo going in the line of fire. Although I can say I never did see Sammy saying yes, the kid was always so damn stubborn doing the opposite of whatever he was told. Thought it might come in handy for once. " Dean answered laughing towards the end and shaking his head as he remembered a much younger and stubborn Sam Winchester.
He watched as his friend started his delirious rant. What was left of his grace, the part Metatron had left him was breaking at the sight of his friend.
"I've been here before."
"I know you've been here before we all have. This is where we went for supplies until raided everything."
"No I mean I was here a long time ago. Your jack ass brother Zachariah sent me here when Sammy and I were fighting over hemispheres."
"You never told me Dean," Castiel was confused now it didn't make sense.
"Yeah he decided that if he showed me the future it would get me to say the big Yes to Michael. Look how well that worked; I'm still dying just like I did before. Although I have to say this is much more preferable to being killed by my brother."
"I don't understand Dean." He asked tilting his head to the side.
"Always were a little slow on the up take Cassie. Back during Sam and I's little break as brothers Zach took me on a ride here to see what the future would hold if I didn't say Yes and Apocalypse didn't happen. Long story short I went on a raid and future me was squished like a little bug under Luci's shoe and you and the rest of the guys were killed in suicide mission future me sent you on," Castiel gasped at this information leaning back against the sidewalk where he had taken a seat, "I came back and you know the rest. Then flash forward to Stull cemetery when Lucifer beat Michael because it was little Adam doing the talking instead of me and here we are."
It took a minute for him to realize what had been said. He had thought Adam taking Dean's spot wouldn't make a difference but looking around he guessed it had made a world of difference, literally.
"Guess this is the end of the road for me, but not you. Go back and get the Camp back to its former glory. I know I was only dragging you guys down."
"Dean you-"he tried to protest as he watched his friend grimace pressing a hand to the wound in his side.
"Shut it Angel boy. I know I was doing more damage than good I heard you and Chuck this morning. Saw the eye rolls every time I gave an order around Camp. Maybe this was for the best."
"This could never be for the best."
"I think it's a sign that my job is done. I'm not needed anymore. This is the last page in my awesome life story."
"Don't talk like that. I'll bring you back to camp and we'll figure something out to help you." Castiel tried to remedy to make Dean feel better, to make him feel better.
"You're not fooling anyone Cas," Dean said his eyes traveling to the sky before letting his hand slip down to his thigh where his pistol was latched in his holster. Moving it to rest in his lap as he looked back to his friend, "It's been real Cas. Forget what I said earlier, you have been a great friend and a lifesaver on more than one occasion. Now I want you to get up and leave me here. Tell everyone what happened and don't look back. Enjoy those nice sex parties and meditation crap you do."
"Dean I won't leave you here." He answered stubbornly crossing his arms resembling a spoiled child.
"You don't have a choice Cas. Soon I'm going to start changing and everyone will start to get worried about you. If you don't want to do this for me then do it for yourself. You've never seen someone change into one of those things," the noticeably paler man pointed with a shaky finger towards the pile of bodies, "it's scary. It's like nothing you've ever seen in your life. You don't know what's going on, you aren't even sure if you woke up in the morning. This isn't my first time in this position either. Just give a dying man his last wish. Get out of here. Please."
Castiel gasped as he heard the last word cross his friend's lips. Never in his years had heard the word cross Dean's lips, not unless he was in prayer or asking a favor for someone else, but never for himself.
Nodding he placed a hand on the shaking shoulder looking into deep emerald eyes, he realized he would never see again, "I'll miss you Dean. You've done so much good for this world and I'm sorry it had to end like this." He stood up and started to slowly walk away when he heard a shaky voice call back.
"Since when do Winchesters ever get a happy ending?"
Smiling sadly he stopped at the corner just in eyesight of the caravan as the group returned to the meeting spot. He turned around to face his falling comrade and heard a single gunshot ring out from behind the empty car and through the empty streets. Closing his eyes he let a single tear drop down his cheek.
"Rest well Dean Winchester."
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