Hi everyone, I have crawled my way to the computer, took some time but here I am. Thank you so much for your support. I'm a very private person but for some reason I feel like I can tell you guys, and not just because you don't know who I really am (though at times it feels like you know me better than other people in my life). Which is why I wanna tell you something, not for sympathy or anything like that, I just want to share with you, something very strange for me.
The reason I got so upset over this guy is probably because I felt happy with him, and as it turns out, happiness is pretty addictive. My family life is a mess. My parents are alcoholics, my dad is also depressed and eating medicine for it, and my mom has some kind of mental illness, what I don't know, since she refuses to see a doctor. Me and my siblings have tried so hard to help them, which is one of the reason why I'm living at home right now, but every time I wake up in the middle of the night because there's fighting and screaming, hidden car keys, electricity bills not being paid, falling asleep drunk in the bathroom so my brother has to break the door down… it chips away at you. We've tried so hard, we still do, and I want so so much for my parents to be happy, that's what every child wants right? And then when I met him, suddenly something was about me and how I felt, and then it was gone again just as fast. I don't want you to feel sorry for me, I just wanted to tell you, and I'm aware that it sounds a bit stupid, but when you feel something for the first time in I don't know how long, it's just so hard when it ends. But, enough of that, this AN is already longer than the freaking story!
I don't own Four Brothers.
There's nothing harder in this life than watching someone you love destroy themselves. He'd been through a lot of shit, lost many people along the way, parts of himself – handed over so that he could survive, but the hardest thing he ever had to do was watch his little brother slowly kill himself. He'd known it was coming. When Evelyn died, and they'd gotten rid of Sweet's there was only one thing left to do. Grieve. They all did in different way, tried to be there for each other, support each other, but more and more often Bobby found himself staring after Jack's retreating back up the stairs. They accepted it at first, knowing that he needed to be alone with his thoughts, but as time passed Bobby got more and more reluctant to let him. Afraid that his mind was playing tricks on him again.
And then he found the drugs. Stashed neatly underneath Jack's bed in small packages hidden beneath loads of dirty laundry, and had the situation been different Bobby would have found it funny how Jack still hadn't learned to hide the evidence. But it wasn't, and he didn't find it funny at all.
When Jack came home he found a hole in his bathroom wall after Bobby's fist and his door unhinged, and three brothers waiting for him. Bobby tried to control himself, but the last months stress and grief and worry made him snap, and Jack pale in response. In the end they didn't know what to do, where to go from here. Because no matter how you try, you can never replace those who have already left. Their memory still lingers in the air around you, reminding you that they were once here, and now they're not, and all you're left with are the memories that keep you awake at night.