Alice,Mike and Tippex, a twilight fanfic

Bella was suddenly cut off as a group of screaming 11 yr olds ran into her .She backed off and said to me "The one thing that I am most scared of is First-years"

"Same "

I screamed "ALL SECOND YEARS ATTACK!" Daunted by the opportunity Sheila, Kirsty and Rachel all ran over and helped attack the first years to get on the bus .

When the war was over we got onto the bus and sat down ."Phew,we survived" I gasped ."Yeah I know ,imagine how distraught our families would be if we got killed by FIRST YEARS!"

"Bella you'll never guess who was in my room this morning telling me that he would kill me unless I gave him my TIPPEX PENS?"I nearly died of laughter when I thought of what would happen .Let me explain ,Bella is smart and competitive and if someone asks her something which she doesn't know she takes a complete psycho and watching Bella taking a psycho is really funny .SHE GOES BRIGHT RED !

I looked for any signs that a psycho was coming and nothing happened "Well let me guess,MIKE "Bella said nearly crying of laughter ."How did you know?"I asked annoyed "Because Mike is the only human being still alive who would want to come into your room and threaten you into giving him all of your tippex"

Ugh why did Bella have to be so smart? Soon we were in school and everything was normal again (Mike doesn`t go to Alice and Bella`s school)Me and Bella went into form class and I suddenly I got a feeling that something fun was going to it fun that I had felt in my stomach came in the form of my Form tutor,Mr Banner.

He got up of his seat and hit Bella with a dead I JUST SAID DEAD WACKED MY BEST FRIEND WITH A DEAD FISH!Bella got up out of her seat and I think she was about to slap him back but the police came storming in and arrested Mr Banner for injustice to it`s a new was just glad that she didn`t have to slap him as she wants peace on earth and it doesn`t help if SHE starts another considering she did seem pretty up for slapping Mr Banner so…..

The first bell rang to get to class .We moved quickly through the corridors before they became full of people .I suddenly had a craving for SUGAR YAY!

"Bella ,Bella ,Bella "I winged "WHAT ALICE"Bella snapped .

"I NEED SUGAR"

"Alice I don't have any and shut up `cause she`s giving out our tests now"

"Bella, Help me I need sugar "This time I gave Bella the puppy-dog eyes and they always work .Bella didn`t answer.I looked down at the test .Did I have to do it? But it looked so boring.I got fed up having not to talk and screamed "SUGAR !"

My teacher looked up from her work .She grabbed ,her new friend-a mannequin from the local New Look-and came at me .I was getting powered up . A TEENAGE NINJA TURTLE that's me !Well my teacher started doing a funny dance and because she was a teacher that looked funny so I shouted "STOP IT YOUR HURTING MY INNOCENT EYES"

My teacher came even closer .Even though I was "SMALL BUT MIGHTY "I was scared for my welfare .The teacher came at me for the last time and this time attacked me with the MANNEQUINS FEET!

It was really sore. I couldn`t just watch her hurt me could I ?I jumped out of my seat and started doing some ninja turtle fell to the ground. YES I`D WON .

Like in form class the police came in and arrested her because of injustice to mannequins .Bella had just sat and stared while all of this was going on."Bella are you ok ?"I asked worriedly

"Yeah I`m fine "

"Wow that mannequins feet really were stinky,"I said wrinkling my nose

"Todays been very weird for a school day "Bella judged.

"I know, "I replied

As lessons passed the day got as normal as ever .Me and Bella went to the canteen with Jessica ,another of our friends .We ate the Toxic lunch that the school had prepared for us .On the Menu it said that we were supposed to be having Spaghetti Bolognese ButWe had actually got fried wellies and Boiled blood sauce .After we had ate the horrific lunch(or fed it to the potted plant in the office in our case)I went up to the art rooms to give Miss O`Trudgeon my art book .I knocked on the door and walked in ."AHHHHH"I was very frightened at the sight .Mike was sitting on Miss O`Trudgeon`s desk."I`ve been waiting for you….."

"Really how delightful"

"It`s anything but delightful"Mike said mimicking my voice

"Oh really?"

"I`ve been waiting for you all day

"How awful"

"I know"

"IF YOUR GOING TO KILL ME KILL ME NOW "

"Just give me the tippex and I will let you stay alive "

"It`s at home"

"Then you die "

"Do we have to be that drastic ?"

"YES!

We began running round the tables .Mike rounded me into a corner and said "YOU`LL DIE"

I dodged and said "If you can catch me !"

My teacher came even closer .Even though I was "SMALL BUT MIGHTY "I was scared for my welfare .The teacher came at me for the last time and this time attacked me with the MANNEQUINS FEET!

It was really sore. I couldn`t just watch her hurt me could I ?I jumped out of my seat and started doing some ninja turtle fell to the ground. YES I`D WON .

Like in form class the police came in and arrested her because of injustice to mannequins .Bella had just sat and stared while all of this was going on."Bella are you ok ?"I asked worriedly

"Yeah I`m fine "

"Wow that mannequins feet really were stinky,"I said wrinkling my nose

"Todays been very weird for a school day "Bella judged.

"I know, "I replied

"Really how delightful"

"It`s anything but delightful"Mike said mimicking my voice

"Oh really?"

"I`ve been waiting for you all day

"How awful"

"I know"

"IF YOUR GOING TO KILL ME KILL ME NOW "

"Just give me the tippex and I will let you stay alive "

"It`s at home"

"Then you die "

"Do we have to be that drastic ?"

"YES!

We began running round the tables .Mike rounded me into a corner and said "YOU`LL DIE"

I dodged and said "If you can catch me !"

We both grabbed pots of paint and flung them at each other

It would have been extremely funny to watch but as we started flinging bottles of paint around the room trying to hit each other it got less was actually very fun .Mike must have sensed that it was getting too much fun for me when he was meant to be trying to kill me .We started chasing each other around the tables got too close so I jumped up into the air and landed on the table Mike did the same on the opposite table.

Mmmmmm This table made me feel tall and it was fun .I started ballet dancing .I went to lessons when I was 3 and I had been obsessed ever challenged me and started disco dancing,not that he could dance .So it became war of the dance .Just as the worrying feeling had started to go walked through the door and gasped but whoever it was didn`t have time to speak as Mike straight away started shooting her with a tippex gun .We settled back into dancing .I found rhythm and started to dance to it . Mike looked at me with awe and said

"I really don`t want to see you dance,I want your tippex pens and I will go"

"I`ve told you a million times ,I HAVENT GOT MY TIPPEX PENS THEY ARE AT HOME!"

"I`m not stupid "

"You must be"

"and why`s that?

"BECAUSE I HAVE TOLD YOU LOADS OF TIMES I HAVE NOT GOT MY TIPPEX PENS WITH ME"

"No need to be touchy "

At this point my temper was about to blow .And when my temper blew Mike would be scared .Mike seemed to see this and backed off but he wasn`t ready for what I was about to do.

But before I reached boiling point someone else walked in through the door ,I waited for Mike to shoot them with the tippex gun but the only thing that happened was some-one saying "Mike ,Darling what are you doing here?"There was something familiar about that voice .I turned around to discover that it was Jessica !

"Alice why are you here?"Jessica asked

"I could say the same to you, Jess and how do you know Mike ? "

"Well It`s a long story but why are you here?"

"Well there I was on a dark and stormy night….."

"Can you hurry up ,please"

"Ugh do I have to "

"YES!"

"Well I woke up and Mike kinda threatened me to give him my tippex pens ,But I didn't give him them and I ran away and he`s starting to threaten me to give him my tippex again ….so that's you up to date so far "

"Oh that's actually very weird but….

"But what?"

"Well …..I`m going out with Mike so I have to side with him on this "

"You`ve got to be joking me"

"Nope"

At that minute I had two 15 yr olds cornering me and it was getting quite scary.I walked away ,slowly padding a step further until I had reached the door into the corridors .From there I ran down to the bistro where I could gain this was getting like a James Bond movie .In my head I started casting roles for my Alice Cullen movie. When I reached the bistro I fell to the ground and started rolling down the long space of floor that would lead me to the…SUGAR!Well, and Bella .

"Alice what are you doing "Bella asked helping me up to reach the stack of SUGAR!

"Getting sugar and by the way Mike is here and Jess is on his side "

"To get tippex pens?"

"Yeah "

"I think the world has gone mad and I like it"

"Really?"

"Yeah,why?"

"`Cause I don`t think you`d suit being mad"

"Mmmmmm"

I started sprinkling sugar into my mouth ,as it was pure sugar I didn`t think that it would take long to kick in .

"Bella?"

"Yeah Alice"

"Come on "

"you went through introductions to tell me that?"

"Yes it's important to get it right"

"To get what right?"

"The script"

"The script for what?"

"THE SCRIPT FOR MY ALICE CULLEN MOVIE HAVEN`T YOU LISTENED AT ALL!"

"Oh "

I led Bella down to where I last saw Mike,the Art rooms .We searched through them but they were empty

"Where could he be?"

As if to answer my question someone started screaming .Me and Bella ran to where the sound was coming from .We opened the door and .….

The sight that I was met with was such a shocking one that I started laughing .The sight that I was met with was one that I had never even thought I would have seen in my entire lifetime .

The laugh I let out started as a giggle and worked its was into a stomach turning tantrum of laughs .The sight that I had been met with was Miss O` Trungeon forced on ground by Mike ,with a stapler !Jessica sat on Miss O`Trungeon`s swirly chair stroking a fake cat and said "We`ve been waiting for you ,".At this I was thoroughly freaked and I`m not one to be always very scared .

Bella was froze staring at Miss O` Trungeon being threatened with a stapler and weakly pointed a finger at them .She looked very pale at this point ,as if she was about to be sick actually.I quickly ran over to her and tipped her head over Mikes back .

I went back over to Jess and said "Hey the more the merrier!" Randomly

"Um ….yeah"She replied.

Jess was never good with random .She was nice and all but that was why Bella is my best mate and Jess isn`t .Bella can deal with random and that`s good considering I`m random and stuff.

"OH NO !"I swung around and laughed as Bella puked all over Mike .Mike looked really funny when he was covered in sick

."Yay I thought I would have missed it !"I screamed across the room

"Wow I feel better now"Bella looked shocked

"Well ,duh"

"Lets get `em"

"Of course,"I hit back

Bella knew that Jess was on Mikes side but Jess didn`t know that she knew ,wow that was quite complicated .Bella made her way over to Jess and said "Hey Jess what are you doing here?".What would Jess say would she tell the truth that she was evil or would she lie ?Would Jess become evil or would she admit to her inner Alice film supporter ."Nothing what about you ,Bella "If Bella hadn`t been sure that I wasn`t lying before now she definitely knew as Jess couldn`t lie to save her life.I felt like a jury standing up in court and I nearly said "JESS IS OFFICALY LYING "and then I wanted to slam a hammer on the nearest thing .So I did .

It just happened that Mike was the nearest thing to me and by the way he was still leaning down in shock of the flow of sick that had happened about 15 mins ago .I banged him with a hammer that appeared out of no-where and waited to see what effect it had on him .Miss O` Trungeon had fled while he was still in shock I tried to think about what she was doing right that minute .There were two options …..

Option 1

Miss O` Trungeon had ran into the staff room and started shouting "ALL TEACHERS ARE EVIL!"across the room all the teachers were staring at her but her husband Mr O` Trungeon came over and said "Honey this time I really think that you should see a psychiatrist about your problem "but while he was saying this he was thinking "OMG THIS IS GOING TO BE EXPENSIVE!AND I DON`T EVEN LIKE HER THAT MUCH ANYWAY, HOW WILL I TELL HER?"

Option 2

Miss O`Trungeon was so happy that she had broke free of Mike and Jess that she gave every pupil she had an A in art and when someone said to her "Merry Christmas she ran into her art room and put up decorations and a cute little dinky tree with green baubles .She started baking mince pies in her furnice and was actually surprised when they burned .She wrote hundreds of cards to herself and posted them to her house from school and when her husband asked her why there were so many she screamed "ITS SANTA RECARNATED YAY EVEN MORE PRESENTS!"

Neither of these options were likely to happen so I created a third option which Miss O`Trungeon actually might have done

Option 3

Miss O`Trungeon figured out that Mike had a Mental illness and she went to the police and they started searching the building but when they heard the full story from me they said that they would arrest him for more than harassment .