TheShamanMaster presents...
DJ Shiro & The Radio Show
Story & Script by TheShamanMaster
BLEACH © Tite Kubo
Disclaimer: I don't own Bleach...or any of the characters...I wish owned a Zanpakuto though!
Sypnosis: Hitsugaya has his own radio show. Oneshot
Chapter: DJ Shiro & The Radio Show
"30 seconds 'til we're on the air, taichou." Matsumoto said adjusting her headphones.
"Okay." Hitsugaya was wearing a hoodie, with long pants. He was also wearing five gold chains around his neck. He sat down, and put on his headphones.
"3...2...1...On Air!" Matsumoto called out.
"Yo yo yo, what's happen' out there y'all? This is DJ Shiro coming at ya live from The 10th Division airwaves! I hope y'all got your radios set to loud, cuz I got a crackin show for you dudes and dudettes! First, I'd like to give a big shout out to the 6th Division Vice Captain, Abarai Renji! He's a fellow homie whose been with us since the beginning, and he's always backed da Soul Society! So, respect to my brethren, Abarai! Now put on a cookin' track fresh outta my oven! This is Temperature by Sean Paul, I hope y'all enjoy this one!"
Hitsugaya pushed a button on the CD player on the CD player. "One more thing, y'all! I got MC Moto with me in the studio. She'll be helpin' me out later. More stuff after the song!"
He got up, and drank from Diet Coke with Cherry from his can. "This is some tasty shit! Yo, Moto? You done with 'dem CDs yet?"
Matsumoto sighed. "Almost done, taichou. Don't rush me, you faker!"
"Faker?" Hitsugaya rasied an eyebrow. "I''m gangster period! Don't diss me, yo! I spent like ages gettin' dis place set up! And spent loads on dis load of gold!" He picked up his cap, and put in on his head.
"Now time to see what's happin'. Hm?" His mobile started ring. He answered it.
"Talk to me, ma dog!"
"Hey Shorty-chan! Whatcha you doing? came a familiar voice from the other end.
"Yachiru? Damn, little lady, whatcha want? I'm running a show here." He said pacing about.
"Ken-chan says you better play one of his favorite tracks, or he'll kill somebody."
Hitsugaya sighed, "Fine, fine, what's that guy want anyway?"
"Hmmm." Yachiru thought for a sec. "Erm...it was Welcome To The Jungle by Gun's 'n Roses...
"What? He likes that 80's crap? Fine, fine, I'll play it. But I better get something in return! And call dis number unless you got something important to tell me!" He hung up.
Man...some people are so bloody persistant...He thought. Hitsugaya sat back down, and drank some more out the can, and put his headphones back on.
"Yo! That was Temperature by Sean Paul, hope y'all enjoyed that. Coming up during the show today, we got a few tracks from Snoop Dogg, 50 Cent, and I'll be taking your requests also. But first, let's go to the phones! Moto, you ready?"
Matsumoto nodded. She put on her headphones, and sat down next to Hitsugaya.
"Hey, caller on line one! Your at The DJ Shiro Radio Show! What's your name?" Matsumoto asked happily
A sly and sinister voice could be heard at the other end of the line. "What does Kaien Shiba look like?"
Matsumoto and Hitsugaya looked at each other. "What?" Hitsugaya asked
The voice continued. "What country you from?"
"What, yo?" Hitsugaya said back
" 'what yo' ain't no country I ever heard of! They speak English in 'What, yo'?"
"What?" Matsumoto said
"English, you fool! Do you speak it?" The voice sounded serious.
"Yes, what is up with you, fool?" Hitsugaya started to get pissed.
"Then, you know what I'm saying! Describe what Kaien Shiba looks like!"
The 10th Division captain. "Yo fool, get the da hell outta here before I cap yo' ass!" He pressed a button, and the line went dead.
"Who was that?" Matsumoto asked
"No clue. But I find out, dat fools gonna get a Zanpakuto shoved up his ass!" He sighed and finished drinking the rest of his can.
"Hold on a sec, I'm getting some more coke from the fridge." Hitsugaya left the room. Matsumoto decided to continue with the calls.
"Hey caller on line 2! What can I do for you?"
This voice was even slyer, and sounded like Marlo Brando. "Is this, the 10th Division?"
"Erm...yes. Who is this?" Matsumoto asked
"Figures. And you don't think to call me Godfather. I will make you an offer you cannot refuse..."
Matusumoto then figured out who it was. "Gin, get off the line!"
"Who is this Gin? I am The Godfather! I will call upon you some day to do something for me..."
Matusmoto got angry. "Get off the damn line if you want to live WITH your nuts intact!"
Gin switched back to his normal voice. "Fine, fine you got me. Later, amigos!" The line went dead.
The 10th Division vice captain sighed. When will he learn? she thought.
Then, Hitsugaya came back in the room with a bottle of Diet Coke. "Who was that?"
"Forget about it, taichou. You wouldn't understand. Gimme some of that." She grabbed the bottle from Hitsugaya and drank some.
"Geez, get a glass, would ya?" Hitsugaya muttered. Matsumoto handed back the bottle, and Hitsugaya put the bottle down on the floor.
"Alright, caller on line 3! What can we do for ya'll?" Hitsugaya said
"Hey, Hitsugaya my brother! How's hanging?" It was Renji
"Yo, Renji, wassup?"
"Not much man. Just thought that I'd request for you to play Numb by Linkin Park, later on."
"Linkin Park? You got it, Renji! Anything else, man?" Hitsugaya asked cracking his knuckles
"Nah, man. That'll be all for now. Respect, man." The line went dead.
"That...was fast." Matsumoto said wide-eyed. Both of them sighed.
"Alright, caller on line 4, what do you want?" Matsumoto thought if she heard another piece of crap, she'd hit something or someone.
"It is I, the greatest Shinigami around!" Came an old, yet serious voice.
"Yamamato-Genryusai-Sotaicho! What can we do for you sir?" Matsumoto exclaimed.
"Well, Hitsugaya-taichou, and Matsumoto-fukutaichou, I'd like talk about this radio show you've been hosting."
"What about it, sir?" Hitsugaya innocently
"It is a bad influence on today's youth. All this ''rap'' and ''hip-hop'' music you play gives a bad influence on todays children. In my day, we didn't have this garbage! We had proper music to listen to and-" Hitsugaya cut him off.
"Yo, look here old-man! I don't give a rat's ass about what shit you listen to! If you don't like this show, then why bother listening to it? Later on, fool!"
Yamamato seemed angry. "How dare you defiy me! In all my years, I've-!"
Hitsugaya clicked the button and the line went dead.
"You think he's mad?" Matsumoto asked
"Very." Hitsugaya had another mouthful of coke. He then resumed.
"Caller on line 5! And you better have a good reason dis time!" Hitsugaya was growing impatient.
There was a few coughs, and then a voice spoke."Don't worry, it's just me."
"Who? Dat pizza boy? Gimme a pepperoni, fool!" The 10th captain said aloud
"No, it's me. Captain of the 13th Division, Juushiro Ukkitake. Good day, Hitsugaya-taichou, and Matsumoto-fukutaichou." Juushiro was speaking quiet softly.
"It's my man, Ukkitake! How's it hanging with you, bruv?"
"I'm well thank you. And yourself?"
"I'm all good. So, whatcha wanna talk about?" Hitsugaya asked twirling a CD on his finger.
"Well, I'd like to say this radio show was a good idea, and also...hold on, someones trying to break in!" Juushiro sounded shocked
"What? Who da hell?" Matsumoto said
There was the sound of a door being kicked in. There was another voice that could be heard.
"There! He's the one! Handcuff him, and lock him up!"
"Ah shit!" Juushiro called out. "I gotta take care of these guys! Talk to you later." The line clicked and went dead.
"Ukkitake? Ukkitake? Damn what da hell is going on?" Hitsugaya stood up, and made another announcement.
"Yo y'all. I gotta take care of some buissness! For now, heres's Numb by Linkin Park. Enjoy, y'all!" He pressed the button on the CD player, disconnected the mircophone, and ran out the studio.
He ran across Seireitei to the 13th Division Headquarters, and saw Juushiro outside, battling a whole load of Covert Ops members.
"Ukkitake-taichou!" Hitsugaya shouted as he struck a few of them down with his sword.
Meanwhile, in the 10th Division, Kenpachi got pissed off from hearing the radio, and had smashed it.
"Ken-chan, he didn't play your favorite song!" Yachiru whined
"That's it! I'm gonna kill someone! Let's go find someone...huh?" Kenpachi looked out his window to see a whole load of sword-fighting.
"Well, it seems I'm in luck! Yachiru, let's go!" Kenpachi scoffed as he stood up.
Yachiru jumped on his back. "Yay! Ken-chan's gonna have some fun!"
Back outside the 13th Division Headquarters, Hitsugaya was now fighting a whole load of Covert Ops members.
"Juushiro, what da hell happened here?" Hitsugaya asked impatiently
"No clue. They just bursted in saying that I had stolen Kurotsuchi's blueprints!"
"Kurotsuchi? That poor foresaken son-of-a-bitch?" Matsumoto exclaimed
"Yeah, and it seems they won't listen...what the hell?" Juushiro looked up and saw Kenpachi came slamming down and killed another few Covert members.
"Hahaha!" He laughed
"Z-Z-Zaraki-taichou?" Juushiro asked
"See? I told you if you didn't play my song, I'd kill someone" He grinned so evilly, that the rest of the Covert Ops got scared and ran away.
Hitsugaya rasied an eyebrow. "Yo, we gotta sort dis shit out! We hav' to get to Ichimaru's place! Ukkitake's been framed like a biatch!" Juushiro gave him an angry look. "Sorry, yo."
The others nodded and headed towards the 3rd Division Quarters. Right now, Ichimaru was laughing and plotting a plan.
"These blueprints are excellent! I'll make a fortune on the Vizard Blackmarket! Maybe millions!" He placed them in a briefcase, and went off to meet his dealer, who was hiding in Rukongai. He opened the door, made his way towards the huge gates, where he was gonna ask a gatekeeper to let him out. He was just about near the huge gate, when he was surrounded by Soi Fong, and some Covert Ops members.
"Freeze! Ichimaru-taichou!" Soi shouted. Ichimaru gave his foxy-like smile, and said:
"Now, c'mon. You and I, we can be civil about this. Y'know, no violence."
"Don't move! What's in the case?"
"My Vice-Captain's dirty laundry." He said sarcasticaly
"You do your Vice-Captain's laundry?" Soi Fong questioned
"When he wants it clean."
Soi Fong grew impatient. Hitsugaya jumped in.
"Ichimaru! You have Kurotsuchi's blueprints don't ya? Drop da case, fool!"
Ichimaru dropped the case, and reached for his Zanpakuto.
"Shoot to the death, Shi-" He cut off when Soi Fong had her blade close to his neck.
"I wouldn't do that if I were you. Finish the enemy with your deadly sting, Suzumebachi!" Her Zanpakuto activated, and reappeared on her finger as her weapon. Kenpachi had his sword pointed at Ichimaru,at least 3 inches or so away from his face. And Hitsugaya and Matsumoto had their blades out also.
Dammit! Guess there's no other choice...He thought. Gin sighed, and placed his Zanpakuto back in it's hilt.
"I give up. And I would've gotten away with it too, if it hadn't been for you meddling captains!" He placed his hands up, and the cuffs were slammed on him.
"Ichimaru, for these crimes, I sentence you to 30 days of labour work in Rukongai. Take him away." Soi Fong ordered. The Covert Ops walked away with Ichimaru captured.
"Soi Fong, how did you know where to find Gin?" Matsumoto asked confused.
Soi Fong smiled. "Well, I saw Kurotsuchi earlier today, and he said his blueprints had been stolen. There was a note behind saying Juushiro had done it, but he did a DNA test of the fingerprints left behind, and it linked to Gin."
"Oh, I see. So everythings okay huh? Well, I'll be heading off. Cya." Juushiro disappeared.
"Now, how about that song, kiddo?" Kenpachi asked sternly
"Yo, watch who your dissing yo! I'm Hitsugaya, gangster of da 10th Division! Reppin' Soul Society 24/7! Fine, I'll play yo song yo." Hitsugaya headed back to the Radio Station.
Soi Fong was confused as hell. "Matsumoto, what's up with the shortie?"
"Who know, Soi Fong. Who knows." Matsumoto murmured
END
Another humourous one-shot story! Please Review! Oh, and if you didn't noticed, there were a few film refrences here:
Gin's Godfather line is of course from The Godfather Films
The "What does Kaien Shiba look like?" is a parody of the "Marsellse Wallace" dialogue from Pulp Fiction
The "dirty laundry" dialogue is also from Pulp Fiction
and also, "the meddling captains" is from Scooby Doo!