A/N: I just watched Laryngitis and got an idea for some pointless drabble which turned into this. Brittany is a little OOC, but she's going through a really hard emotional time here, and I think that when put under pressure, she can be very serious and smart.

Spoilers: Through episode Laryngitis

Rated: T for self depreciation, mentioned nudity

Summary: For Kurt, it was just a ploy, and it ended easily. But for Brittany, it was more than that. Much more. And she can't understand what she did wrong.

Disclaimer: Glee is not mine. They wouldn't go on hiatus and make me wait until 9 o'clock tonight for the Super Bowl episode if I did…

Brittany was standing in front of the mirror, naked.

She let her eyes trail over every part of her body, looking for the flaw. Searching for whatever was wrong with her that made him go away.

So many boys before him had taken one glance at her body fully clothed and gotten boners; she had seen them like little tents sticking out of their pants as she walked down the hall at school. But when she showed it to Kurt while she was naked, nothing had happened. He had just looked... disgusted.

So she searched for it. The mistake that God had made that everybody else had failed to notice.

It didn't surprise her that Kurt would be the one to find it.

He had always noticed things about her that no one else did.

Like the fact that her favorite lotion smelled like bananas.

Or that she wore the same purple scrunchy hidden under her red and white ribbons every day, because it was her good luck charm.

That was why she had liked him so much.

He seemed to like her as a person and treated her like one too. He had real conversations with her and let her chose what they were going to do.

Like, at first it had just been another hook up.

She had been totally convinced that he was gay, but when he changed his wardrobe, she had been kind of turned on. And when he had sung that song about a black guy and his pink house, she had been really turned on.

So she had offered herself to him, like she did to everybody. And he had accepted, with his nervous little smile that she had grown to like (love) so much.

That first date had been the best night of her life.

They had gone to Breadsticks. He had driven her and hadn't even made her give him a blow job on the way. And when they got there, he had pulled her chair out for her. She had been confused at first, thinking he was going to sit there, but he had already put his coat on the other one.

But he didn't make fun of her. He just explained that he was trying to be a gentleman. Huh. She had grinned at him, and he had smiled back.

She realized that he could have even noticed her flaw during dinner. Because they had been talking about Johnny Depp and how hot his beard was when Kurt had suddenly blushed and refused to talk about celebrities anymore. Brittany leaned forward and examined her eyes, lips, mouth, chin. Just trying to find that one flaw.

And then there was their make-out session. That's where she had discovered his hands.

Whenever she had tried to get playful and grab his ass he would take her hand in his long slender, soft, baby fingers and (ever so gently) lift it back up to his knee or upper thigh. After awhile she stopped trying to grab his butt and just wanted to feel those hands on her own.

Maybe my hands were bad in comparison… she thought, raising the offending appendages in front of her face and scrutinizing them.

He hadn't even made her hide under the bed when his father walked in on him like most people did. When his dad left and told them to be safe, Brittany thought she didn't need protection, she had Kurt. He made her feel safe.

Unless he meant like a burglar alarm or something.

Then, she had decided to take her dress off for him. She told him to close his eyes and slowly unzipped it so that it wouldn't make noise. And when he had opened his eyes…

Well, it couldn't have been her hands, she realized. He must have noticed her flaw right at that moment. Because his beautiful, shining, blue-green ocean eyes had gotten so wide she had been afraid they were going to fall out of his head for a second. And his cute little button nose had crinkled. And his adorable, soft, plump little mouth had screwed up into a look of such disgust that she almost cried remembering it.

Of course, he had immediately recovered and said he was sorry, he just couldn't do it. It wasn't anything wrong with her; he just wasn't ready. She had forgiven him, because she understood if he didn't want it on the first date. In fact, it made her like him more. It meant he was being a gentleman again.

But then, just two days later, he had gone back to his old self. And he had told her that he didn't want to go out with her anymore.

He had sounded so sorry and upset. And he had continued being so nice to her. So Brittany had finally figured it out.

It wasn't Kurt's fault. He was too kind and sorry for it to have been his fault.

It was her fault.

Before that day, Brittany had never thought badly about herself. She had thought that she was beautiful and smart (in her own way) and that people always laughed when she was around, and that her smile lit up the room like her daddy always told her.

But now she knew. She couldn't find it, but she knew.

She was flawed.

Please review! It makes me want to write more :)