Alone in This World
By Robin Wright
Author's Note: I don't know where I came up with this one. It started as a monologue, but then I didn't know what to do with it. This is what I ended up with. If you don't like how it ends, don't flame me. I like both Zelda and Malon. If you're going to say something negative about this, make it constructive. I ignore all stupid flames for I find them to be a waste. Enjoy the story and please do review after you read!- Robin Wright
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"My life. What is there to say about it? Some think that I lead an interesting existence. I walk down the street and people call to me, say hello, ask for my autograph. I always refuse. It's not just due to the fact that I'm illiterate. (What, you never noticed that Navi always had to read things for me?) I don't feel like signing their bits of paper. I don't feel like getting the attention. I never asked to be a so-called hero. I never asked.
"Which leads me to wonder why I'm here in the first place. If the position of Hero of Time called for someone valiant, and honest, and true and all of that other stuff, I could name a few people who would much better serve to fill the position than me. I'm just... not hero material. I don't feel like one. I never have. I've always been the outcast, the odd one, the silent watcher. How did I get here in the first place?
"I remember the first time I was sent into a temple to help a sage. I hated it. Of course, I was going in to find the one I loved like a mother and a best friend. Yeah, I wanted to find her. But in my heart I was still a boy, a child who had lost his way somewhere. That's what I still am.
"I remember stepping into that meadow and seeing that my friend, my surrogate mother was no where to be seen. Her song no longer played. All around me there was the sound of crows and groaning creatures. The wind blew through the leaves in the trees, hissing at me, daring a frightened boy to enter. It was against my wishes that I went in. I hated all of those temples. Ungodly, unnamed things always making a grab at my throat, wishing for nothing more than that of my imminent and quick death. The thought of the things I encountered gives me nightmares to this day, even in a different reality than the one I never lived.
"What should I be complaining about? You might ask. I'm not complaining, but I guess I'm not reflecting either. I'm not sure what I'm doing. I'm just a little boy who lost his way somewhere. Maybe I would be different if I had not lost my mother. Saria did a great job, but she wasn't the same. I don't have that many memories of her, my mother. I do know that she used to sing to me. I don't remember what it was that she sang, but the tones still linger in the back of my mind sometimes. Mornings when I least expect it, I wake up suddenly, feeling like she is stroking my hair from my forehead, whispering to me. When I open my eyes and say "mother" I realize that she is not there. She never was there. Not when it counted.
"No, I'm not angry at her. She couldn't help it that she died. It wasn't her fault. In fact, I think that if anyone should be blamed, it is me. Why did she die in the first place? She was trying to save me. I was the one with the "destiny." I was the one who was Hyrule's last hope. I was the one who had to lose everything of real value so that everyone else could live in peace. All I want is my mother. Is it too much to ask? You would think that after doing them such a big favor, the Goddesses would give me one small request. That's not how things work though, is it?
"Sometimes I feel bitter. Then this anger wells up in me. It's of such a nature that I feel like going out into the forest and punching my fist through a tree. I want to pick up boulders and smash them into the woods. One time, I got so angry about things that I snapped. I was having a bad moment in my treehouse when one of the Kokiri boys decided to bother me. I was sitting there on my bed, minding my own business and I was suddenly pelted in the forehead with a spitball. It stuck there, and I looked up. A boy was giggling wildly, pea shooter in hand, jumping off of my front porch. I sat there fuming for a moment, then got up calmly. I walked out onto my porch and went down the ladder. I think I was about 15, before I knew how to fully control myself.
"Well, I went over to his house (he was one of the Know-It-All Brothers) and I yanked their sign out of the ground. I split it into pieces with my hands and dropped it in a heap. I then used Din's Fire to set it ablaze. I stalked off into the forest after that and didn't return for about four days. The anger had taken complete control and being by my lonesome was the only way I could keep myself from harming an ignorant Kokiri. I'm not a violent guy, and I didn't want to do something I would regret. Like I said, sometimes, the anger of loss totally consumes me.
"Then there's the issue of love. I don't know about love. I truly don't. Not love for a woman. I love Saria like a mother, as I said before, but not as a girlfriend or lover or anything. I'm not even sure if I'm capable of love of that sort. I have nothing to give. All I would do is take. I don't feel like a great passionate romantic like some girls like to make me out to be. I don't feel this amazing fervor of affection well within my being. I don't want to kiss anyone. I don't want to sleep with anyone. Not Zelda, not Malon, and especially not Ruto. I've had offers, but I've never taken them. Never even considered. Zelda offered me Hyrule. She offered me her heart, her undying devotion and physical attraction. I turned her down without a thought. Malon offered me a lovely and cozy home. A beautiful wife and all of the food I would ever need. Not to mention a sympathetic ear. I turned her down too.
"Why? I don't think I deserve such affections. I don't deserve to keep a woman's heart, the most precious thing that any female can give. Women are sensitive, and I'm sure that all I would do is screw up. I screw everything up. There's not one thing I can do right. After all, I got my mother killed, and I wasn't even a year old. It was all of my fault. If it weren't for me, both of my parents would still be alive. Perhaps I would even have a sister. Or a brother. I wouldn't be alone in this world that I saved but do not deserve. I wouldn't be so full of hurt, bitterness, regret. I wouldn't be so confused. It doesn't matter that I got to repeat the last ten years. It doesn't make any difference that I had a chance to grow up. I still feel like the same frightened old Link. The same scared little boy who lost his way somehow, somewhere. I am perpetually the lonely one without a wife, a mother, or a chance at peace. I'm pathetic."
"Link, you're not pathetic."
He turned and looked into Malon's eyes after going on with his little rant.
"Were you even listening to me?"
"Yes."
He turned away.
"I don't understand your view."
"Link, don't be so hard on yourself. For Goddess' sake, you saved our world! Give yourself at least a little credit!"
"I don't deserve credit. I could be better in so many ways..."
"We could all be better in many ways, but we're not. No one is perfect."
"Well, I'm one of the worse."
"No, you're not. And I do think you're capable of love, I know you are."
Link looked down at the grass where they sat. After a moment of silence, he spoke softly.
"Malon, do you love me?"
She turned her face to the sky and gazed at the stars.
"As a friend, yes."
"Just as a friend?"
"Well, how do you want me to love you, Link?"
"I-I'm not sure. If you did love me, well, I might..." he trailed off.
"You might what?"
"I might hurt you."
"How? I don't think you'd want to hurt me."
"It's not that I want to. I might do it unintentionally. Like I said before, I screw everything up. I don't deserve love. Especially not yours. Not that you even love me at all.."
Malon put a hand on his shoulder. Link turned to face her and she looked deep into his sapphire eyes.
"Link, I have always loved you."
Both sat in understanding quiet.
"I think I've always loved you too," he said after a bit.
Slowly, they drew closer and kissed. Malon wrapped her arms around Link's neck and he pulled her close. They hugged for a while, then lie down on the grass to gaze once again at the stars.
"Malon?"
"Yes?"
"Thank you."
She smiled and touched his hand.
"You're welcome Link. You're welcome."
They lied there holding hands and watching the stars till the morning arrived in the east.