The Green Skirt
Disclaimer: All recognizable characters are the property of R.A. Salvatore/Wizards of the Coast ©. I don't own them; I'm just examining all their possibilities.
Author's Note:The following is a ridiculous idea I had that absolutely needed to be written inspired by the contest "Drow in Drag" for the Lolth Scourge Drow Club at deviantArt. Credit for inspiration also goes to Danayala for her wonderful drawing "Drizzt in Drag" that corrupted my mind so much. This scene happens after the fateful night in "Midsummer," and I was going to tack this at the end as an extra scene that goes along with the overall theme, but I'm thinking it might be better off alone. This piece is a complete experiment/just for giggles thing. Yes this is thoroughly ridiculous, so feel free to laugh at me.
Catti-brie left five minutes ago.
That was the first thing Drizzt remembered while coming out of his Reverie. His lucid mind did register the soft kiss on his forehead and the sound of boots stepping along the stone floor of their room in Mithril Hall. Where she was going, he really didn't care. He was awake and that was as much as he could handle at the moment. The drow let his lavender orbs scan the stones in the ceiling before making the decision to sit up. Putting a bit of extra strength into his already tight stomach muscles, he let out a groan and braced his elbows against the soft feather mattress, allowing his aching body to pull itself to a semi-sitting position.
The effort had gone well, but the stitches in his abdomen reminded him of their presence with a tight stab of pain. Drizzt winced slightly, though felt even more encouraged to pull himself up even more and stretch out the wound, getting his skin used to the idea of stretching in such an awkward position. He managed to come to a sit without the aid of his elbows and let his long, white hair flop over his face as the pain managed to fade into its usual inconspicuous tightness.
This had become a usual routine for him for the past three days, though today he was in much better shape. The first day, all he wanted to do was lie prone in bed, eating a little bit of a hot meal while drinking down chamomile tea by the cup to relieve the pain in his side. It was infinitely better than the excruciating pain that brought him originally to this state. Three days ago he was completely mobile, taking part in the revelry of Midsummer's Eve among his surface elven friends in Moonwood. His hip ached slightly from a blow he took from an orc's club in battle last year, though it was easily ignored; until the minor ache became a horrible burn. Fortunately he was immediately treated by an old and able cleric of Corellon Larethien named Nialian Springleaf, who gave him good and bad news; his hip wasn't damaged, but his appendix was. A sleeping potion later, he woke with a long cut sewn up on the side of his abdomen and the bloated remains of his appendix in a porcelain bowl.
Drizzt was used to the routine that came with recovering from a bad injury; the first day was always the worst while every other day became steadily easier. He went from merely wanting to sleep to willingly taking visits from his friends and various other dwarves who wanted to make sure "the elf's still breathing." He was officially under the care of the cleric Cordio Muffinhead, though Catti-brie, his lady love, best friend, and hardest companion, had taken the job of his nurse, bringing him food and helping to change the bandage around his waist.
He was now at the stage in his recovery where he felt well enough to move around a little, though both his body and his caretakers refused to let him go too far. It was at the point where his mind was a little more awake, though the rest of him was stuck in one place; a situation that was borderline torture for a free spirit like Drizzt.
Drizzt knew that Catti-brie had left, most likely to go over maps and last minute strategy against the orcs with Bruenor before Drizzt fully recovered and both of them went to Waterdeep to board The Sea Sprite, allowing them a much needed excursion together to hunt pirates and enjoy each other's company. In the meantime, Drizzt was still healing and Catti-brie had a few matters to wrap up; with him still lying in bed and getting the itch for some real action.
The drow let out a groan, swinging his legs over the side of the bed and slowly coming to a stand, noting how the cut ached less. He walked around the room, briefly looking out the window at the cloudy sky before taking a scan of the room while gaining his morning bearings. His attention then fell to the green, wooden dresser at the end of the room and the burlap bundle placed hastily on top.
His curiosity piqued, Drizzt came closer to the dresser and found the piece of parchment on the bundle, covering a mass of green, embroidered fabric inside the bag. He picked up the parchment, knowing this was probably none of his business, and read.
Dearest Catti-brie,
Danica and I send our fondest greetings. The Spirit Soaring prospers and there is much peace now in our humble home. We are very glad that matters with that wretched King Obould are coming to a safe close and peace is once again a possibility at Mithril Hall. We also recently learned of Drizzt's illness and are praying for his speedy recovery. This letters accompanies a package that is a gift made by an old friend of yours. Pikel now has full use of his new arm and has taken up sewing as part of his rehabilitation. He is quite skilled at the craft and wanted to make you a gift. Enclosed in the package is a skirt he constructed himself made from wool and embroidered with bits of dandelion thread. I am sure it will prove useful on formal occasions; may you use it well. Send my best wishes to the rest of the Companions and we will meet again in peace.
With Best Wishes,
Cadderly
Drizzt put the parchment back on the dresser with a smile, his attention turning to the garment created with such care by their friend, the dwarven druid Pikel Bouldershoulder, who was recovering from the loss and replacement of his arm during the Thousand Orcs War. He gently lifted the skirt from the bag and marveled at its beauty. The garment was made from the softest wool, thick enough to cover, yet thin enough to be comfortable in any climate. The fabric was woven with various yellow and gold stripes bearing embroidered green leaves. He fully lifted the skirt out and noted it was long, yet the hem was sewn into notches trimmed with modest yellow fringe.
The skirt was definitely a work of art, yet a work of art he knew Catti-brie would have little use for. Catti-brie was a warrior who almost never wore skirts or dresses unless she was using them for disguise or meeting nobility; both occasions rather rare. She did have a soft spot for pretty things, though her dwarven practicality often took precedence.
Drizzt was about to fold the garment and neatly put it back in the bag, but his natural elven appreciation for beauty got the better of him. Out of purest curiosity, he put the skirt against his own waist, noting how it was measured for one with wider hips and a larger waist, a human female like Catti-brie, though it was not too big for his own form.
Drizzt smirked, giving a small chuckle as his curiosity and need to do something other than walk around the room gave him a spark of inspiration. He lowered the skirt and stepped into it, lifting his brown tunic slightly to lift it around his waist. He fastened the side button and found it hung right around his hip bones, snug enough not to fall off, yet loose enough not to aggravate his injured side. He walked over to the long mirror to the side and admired his reflection. The garment was an excellent color and accentuated his skin tone well. It did, however, look a bit awkward over a pair of loose cotton pants.
Drizzt carefully lifted the skirt and slid his trousers down, kicking them off to another part of the floor and looking at his reflection once again, lifting the hem slightly to show off one well toned, ebony leg. He let out another laugh, twirling around like a maiden before the ball, but something was still not right. Before he realized what he was doing, he grabbed the bottom of his tunic and peeled it off, standing still in the mirror for a second and noting how the combination of the full, yet slightly diaphanous skirt accentuated his small form well.
He ran a hand through his mussed, white hair, smoothing out the locks and gently pulling the sides behind hid long, pointed ears. Drizzt looked at himself and felt…beautiful. It was the sight of him that was completely different from the hardened warrior he was used to being, yet there was a slight hint of danger in this appearance. If he had ever been caught in this attire in Menzoberranzan, the punishment would have been severe; it was a thought that widened his smile more.
He slowly opened up one of Catti-brie's drawers and immediately found a white blouse; neckline trimmed with green lace and gathered with a green ribbon. He lifted the tunic from the drawer and noted the tight, long cut and white ruffles along the sleeves. Drizzt admired the beautiful form of the blouse for a second, remembering the lessons he learned from the elves on Midsummer's Eve: it is best to trust your instincts and let your passion flow no matter how absurd or illogical they may seem at the time. He lifted the blouse over his head and let it slowly slide over his torso. The shirt conformed to his body, yet was loose and comfortable, giving him a stylish, almost aristocratic look. He then reached into the drawer and produced a black leather vest Catti-brie wore on more official occasions and put it on. His flat, muscled chest only added to his appearance, making his lean physique stand out more in this outfit.
Drizzt looked at his reflection and put his head a bit higher. The only thing that made him look male now was his prominent Adam's apple and the slight angle to his features, but those could be easily ignored. His smooth white hair and large, lavender eyes gave him a natural beauty that was only accentuated by the embroidered green skirt and the fine white blouse he wore. He wanted to laugh at himself, though it was more a laugh of slight liberation from his already dying inhibitions than any embarrassment.
He looked in the mirror again and saw Catti-brie walking into the room, taking one look at him and doubling over in laughter. He slowly turned around and smiled, maintaining his composure of an aristocratic beauty. Catti-brie looked up at him, her face twisted into a wide grin as peals of laughter poured from her mouth and her blue eyes welled with tears. She gradually calmed down and stood straight, walking closer to Drizzt.
"It suits you well," she said, trying to keep a straight face.
Drizzt laughed and smiled wide; getting the impression that Catti-brie's demeanor was more amused than mocking. She walked over to the dresser and opened her drawer, reaching in and producing a small wooden box. She opened it and revealed various tins of colored powder she rarely brought out, yet seemed useful at the time. Catti-brie lifted a brush from the box and collected a small amount of blue powder, bringing it up to Drizzt's face and lightly dabbing his eyelids. He let out a spirited laugh and threatened to double over himself, though the close proximity of a pointed object to his eyes kept his reaction in check. Catti-brie put the utensil back in the box and produced a more pointed brush, covering it in a deep red powder and bringing it to Drizzt's thin lips and coating them gently.
She finished and turned him back towards the mirror, giving him a full look of his elven features and obsidian flesh adorned with powder. Drizzt noted how his lavender eyes looked wider with the blue tinge around his eyes while the red powder gave his normally hardened smile more of a softness. He smiled and gave a loud laugh. Catti-brie kissed him on the cheek and embraced him.
"You're beautiful," she said, her voice taking a tone of complete love. "And I mean that in the utmost seriousness."
Drizzt turned to the woman he loved and gazed in her eyes before pulling her closer and giving her a wet kiss on the cheek and leaving the print of red lips. Catti-brie looked at herself in the mirror and laughed.
"We make a lovely couple," Drizzt said in a sultry tone, raising his voice slightly in the imitation of a female, batting his white eyelashes and embracing her tighter.
Catti-brie laughed and kissed him passionately, her own lips covered in red powder though she did not care. She looked at Drizzt in this attire and found him completely desirable. Maybe the free mood of Midsummer did have a lingering effect for she embraced Drizzt's experiment, seeing a wonder in his eyes at his own reflection that was absolutely contagious.
Their moment was broken by the sound of wild giggles behind them. Drizzt and Catti-brie turned around to see Regis on the floor by the doorway, rolling around in laughter. Bruenor and Wulfgar then appeared in the room, the dwarf king doing a double take and letting out a hearty, yet perplexed laugh while the barbarian stared at Drizzt, his blue eyes wide and looking truly horrified. Bruenor turned to Wulfgar, giving the roaring Regis a brief look while fighting past his own laughter.
"Does this skirt make my hips look wide," Drizzt asked in a higher tone, grabbing the sides of the skirt and cocking his head.
Catti-brie buried her head in his shoulder and started laughing. Regis was now letting out maddening cackles, his little, round face a shade of bright red.
"I think the elf's really gone nuts," Bruenor said in a mysterious tone, his voice catching briefly on a belly laugh.
Wulfgar continued staring at his mentor, his look of horror softening into complete confusion. His adopted father looked up at him, gave him a gruff smile and a hearty pat on the back before walking off. Regis gradually came to his feet and coughed.
"You look lovely, Drizzt," he said, fighting back another cackle.
"Why thank you," Drizzt replied, watching Regis walk from the room as his face took another shade of red.
Wulfgar stood still for a second, and then blinked. He shook his head and slowly followed the others.
"He needs to open his mind a little more," Drizzt said, turning to Catti-brie and kissing her on the cheek.