Hidan, a handsome twenty-two year old with piercing violet eyes and slicked back silver hair, fidgeted in the stiff wooden chair. He and his lawyer, a young woman with blue hair and a fierce reputation, waited for the jury to return with their final decision. Hidan twitched nervously at the sound of the muttering audience watching his case. The courtroom was packed to the brim with people, reporters, other types of media, and cops. The whole lot of them could go to hell for all he cared. They weren't his friends and family packed in the seats. The only people he ever called family were dead, and, hopefully, he soon would be too.
The silver haired man glanced at the woman sitting beside him and whispered to her, "Konan this is taking too fucking long. If those asses take any longer with the verdict I'm gonna explode. Can you, like, do something? Say something?"
She put a hand on his arm, "There isn't anymore we can do. We did our best and now we can only wait."
Hidan put his face in his hands and rubbed his eyes. The past one in a half years had lead up to this moment. Going to court, waiting for more court dates, talking to people who hated him for what he'd done, talking to those who'd shown pity on him for what he'd done, but the worst part was the media assholes that followed him around like parasites after the debacle went public. His face and story seemed to be everywhere; newspapers, magazines, the internet, television, and they all read similar headlines: "78 Killed In Bloody Cult Mass Murder", "Soul Survivor of Jashinist Cult Confessed To Killing", "Jashinist Cult Member Says Only Regret Is That He Wasn't Killed", "Jashinist Cult Member To Be Tried For Death Penalty", and, Hidan's personal favorite he saw on the popular buzzfeed website, "Is It Me Or Is The Jashinist Cult Killer Really Sexy?" He'd heard it all, and the plaintiffs against him were full of so many frustrating questions that he'd already answered hundreds of times.
They asked him, "Why did you kill so many innocent people?", "Why are you the only survivor?"
"He gave them the same answers every time, "God told me to and God told me to." What was so hard to fucking understand? His God, Lord Jashin, told him to kill those people, and honestly they wanted to die. It was only a shame that Lord Jashin didn't let him die with them, and if the death penalty was inevitable like most of his lawyers said than so be it. Death didn't scare him. For all Hidan knew he could be immortal, and he made sure the court knew that too by professing his belief loudly while impaling himself in the neck with a pen in front of the jury. Pain felt good to him. It connected him with something indescribable.
The pounding of the judge's gavel jolted him from his daze and he saw the jury come back to sit in their places. A man from the group stood up, "The jury has reached a decision."
The entire room dropped into silence as Hidan's fate was finally decided.
"We find the defendant… not guilty by ruling of insanity.
"What?" Hidan said loudly and stood from his seat, "You people think I'm fucking crazy? I'm not crazy you stupid fucks!"
The chatter and chaos in the room erupted and two police officers jumped up to restrain Hidan.
"Get away from me!" He said, "Konan I said I wanted to die! Konan! Listen to me!" The woman in question ignored the pleading and started to make a path through the room of rushing people. Hidan broke free from the cop's hold and leaped over the small divider, which only intensified the pandemonium in the room.
He grabbed Konan by the arm and spun her around, "I said I wanted to die! What the fuck is going to happen to me?"
"Hidan I'm sorry. I did what I thought was right. I'm sorry Hidan I-"
"You think I'm a fucking lunatic? Is that what you think? Fuck you! Fuck all of you!" Hidan screamed as the cops dragged him into the back room. The officers chained him to a nailed down metal table and slammed the door shut. Hidan continued to curse and scream until exhaustion took over, as it always did when he got into one of his freinzies, and he collapsed onto the floor and slept.
"Hidan. Hidan. It's me, Deidara, wake up hmm? " The blonde nudged Hidan on the shoulder. Over the past year Deidara traveled as an assistant to the famous doctor and psychologist, Sasori Akasuna, studying Hidan's mental health and psychoanalyzing him. Hidan, although he found no interest in Sasori and thought his questioning sessions were boring as hell, actually bonded with Deidara and the two became rather close acquaintances.
"What's going on?" Hidan slurred. He could feel he was in a vehicle and strapped to a board of some kind, but when he tried to stretch his arms he found his wrists restrained. He struggled hard against them, "What's the fuck is going on!"
"Hidan! Look at me!" Deidara said.
"What the fuck are you doing here? Where the fuck are we going?"
"Hidan! Think about what happened! You know what's going on. You need to calm down, man. Take some deep breaths. Don't start freaking out again. I already had to sedate you once hmm. Not that I mind stabbing you with a needle. You should be going to get euthanized like a dog after killing all those people hmm."
"That's right the verdict…" Hidan said, "I wanted to die but those bastards think I'm fucking mental!"
"No shit, Hidan. If it were up to me I would've just strapped a bomb to your face and blew you to pieces, but that's not the case is it hmm?"
"God, you're annoying. Undo these stupid straps would you? I gotta take a piss."
"Hidan… listen to me. Dr. Akasuna and I have worked with Konan for the past year to get you off death row, because we knew you before all the Cult shit and before your life got fuck up."
"Ha! I fucking knew it, you piece of shit! I knew it was you and Doc-tor Aka-su-na," Hidan mocked, "and I thought the two of you were on a first name basis after you sucked his cock and all!"
"Hidan you don't fucking listen!"
"Tell me where we're going, Deidara!"
"Where the hell do you think, dumbfuck! You were deemed legally insane! You're being institutionalized!"
"What? Like a looney bin! What are they gonna do drug me up and put me in the corner to drool and piss on myself? God I gotta get the hell outta here. Deidara you gotta help me."
"I'm trying but you keep talking. Look," Deidara held up a syringe, "Inject yourself with this, and you'll be dead in two minutes flat, and you can stop bothering my life."
Hidan looked at the yellow fluid filled medical instrument, "Deidara I can't kill myself. Suicide is a sin, and not just any sin but a big sin. You have to do it for me."
"Fine."
"Oh no you will not, Deidara," A stern voice sounded from the front of the vehicle and a red head appeared behind the caged partition.
"Oh God you're here too. Fantastic," Hidan said at the sight of Sasori.
"Hidan we're bringing you to the Amakagure Institute. When we get there they will give you clothes, a room, medicine, and anything else you could need. You will also be seeing a new psychiatrist and doctor.
"Oh suck a dick, Sasori," Hidan said.
"We will be their soon, and Deidara if he's dead by the time this truck stops at the institute I'll leave you in his place," Sasori slammed the partition closed again.
"So I guess blow jobs really don't get you on a first name basis?" Hidan said.
"I hope you rot in the institute," Deidara replied.
The two waited in silence until the truck came to a stop. Two happy looking nurses dressed in white opened the back doors and undid the restraints on Hidan. Hidan held out his hands to be cuffed, although he hated being restrained it had been regulation for the last year and a half, and they lead him into the grey double doors of the Amekagure Institute with Sasori and Deidara following not far behind.
Hidan looked at the too white walls of the institution as he was lead through the large hallways. 'I'm going to end up back in court if I have to stay in this place for more than a month.' Hidan thought.
Their first stop was behind a glass door where a large man entered alongside another happy nurse and told him to strip naked. They lifted his arms up and the man patted him down.
"Turn around and squat," the man said. Hidan did as he was told although he scowled the entire time and tried to maintain as much eye contact with the guard as possible.
"Change into these," the man said holding out a pocketless gray smock, matching pants, and socks.
"What about shoes?" Hidan said.
"Residents are only allowed shoes when outside."
"Well that's a stupid rule…" Hidan muttered.
After he was changed the woman took the group for a short tour. They stopped in a medium sized room with a beat up blue couch and a matching love seat. The room also had a small television, book shelves filled with tattered old books, a coffee table with magazines on it, and two windows. Of course Hidan noticed the windows were barred and the room was the same sickening white as the rest of the halls.
"This is the common room," the nurse said, "You can come here to play board games, watch movies, chat with other residents, and just have a grand good time!"
"I'd rather die," Hidan deadpanned.
"Ha ha, what a comical one you are! So happy to have you stay with us! Let's move on."
They walked a bit more to a large cafeteria filled with patients.
"And this is our Mess Hall! All of your meals will be eaten in here unless otherwise notified."
"It smells like shit it here," Hidan said. He watched as a patient sat down at the table in front of him and shove mashed potatoes down their pants. Hidan turned with a murderous look aimed at Sasori who starred with the same intensity right back.
"Fuck you, Sasori," Hidan said.
The room started to erupt with manic chatter, "Yeah fuck you! Ha! Fuck!" The noise started to get louder with cries, screams of profanities, and laughing. The nurse quickly ushered the group out and offered a half-apology.
"They are just so riled up and excited to have a new resident that's all! Let me show you to your room, and you can have a nice and well deserved rest."
As the group walked away a patient ran out of the cafeteria half naked and jumped on Hidan, "Murderer! Murderer! Mommy's got a Murderer!"
"Get off of me you crazy bitch!" Hidan yelled as he tried to throw her off his back.
A guard sprinted out of the cafeteria, grabbed the woman, dragged her enraged form into the nearest room, and slammed the door shut.
"Oh, that's just Karin. She gets so excited for new residents," the nurse said.
"She tried to bite my fucking ear off!"
As they walked further down the halls Hidan wondered how he would survive in this asylum. This place was like a maze, Hidan thought. He'd never remember how to get around. They finally arrived to a yellow colored hallway, which actually somehow bothered Hidan more than the white ones, lined with simple wood doors. The nurse grabbed a key off the wall and walked to a room marked "21B." She jiggled the key around, opened the door, and motioned the party of three inside.
"And this is your new room," The nurse said, "Doors must remain unlocked during daytime hours, and locked during nighttime hours." The vomit colored room was nothing more than a small bed with a pillow and sheets, a metal bedpan, and a small barred window that brought in some of the fading daylight.
"What the fuck," Hidan said, "Get me the fuck out of here. I'm not staying here."
"You will learn to love it I'm sure!" The nurse said.
Hidan turned to the nurse and moved close until their faces were almost touching, "I hate this place, I hate the people who forced me here, and I fucking hate the color yellow. But you know what I hate most of all? Hmm? What I hate the most are people who smile all the time and pretend everything is so exciting and great," he said mockingly, "even when they would rather choke on their own shit."
The nurse looked mortified, stuttered a quick, "A guard will come by to unlock your handcuffs," and left the three to say their goodbyes.
"We will no longer be seeing you as a patient, Hidan," Sasori said.
"Fuck you."
"I'm leaving you in the hands of one of my colleges, Dr. Kakuzu Taki. He is an esteemed psychologist and his medical expertise is astounding. Enjoy your new life at the institute. I don't think you'll ever come out, but, it's better than a life sentence in jail, and, although you think different, it's better than death," with that said Sasori saw himself out.
"I'll come visit, hmm?" Deidara said.
"I hate you."
The blonde shrugged apologetically and followed Sasori down the hall.
Hidan sat on the bed and stared at his still cuffed hands. "There has to be someone in this shithole who would just slit my throat for me without thinking," he thought. Hidan laid down on the hard mattress. Although he'd apparently been restrained to a board all day, he was still exhausted. A guard came in to uncuff him, and when the man left Hidan heard him lock the door behind him. Hidan stared at the vomit colored wall until he could no longer keep his eyes open, and fell asleep.
Hidan woke up to a loud banging on his door and a click that signaled the door unlocking.
"Report to the Mess Hall for daytime medicine and breakfast."
"Fantastic," Hidan thought bringing the pillow up to his face, "fucking up at the crack of dawn." Hidan saw only a faded gray light through his window and guessed it was a rainy morning. He stretched in his bed and felt his bones crack. He looked at the bedpan with disgust but took a piss in it anyway noting that the smell permeating the surrounding hall was indeed piss and shit from the "residents." He peeked suspiciously out from his door. The hallway was starting to fill with passing patients. There was a melancholy man with long black hair tied neatly into a low ponytail and crease lines under his eyes that made him look tired, a purple haired woman with a snake tattooed on the side of her face, and the crazy redhead girl from yesterday.
"I made it through a year in prison so I can make it through this," Hidan thought.
He stepped out into the hallway and tried to keep his head down while following the others to the mess hall. He wasn't here to make friends nor did he want to. He's supposed to be dead, or at least be in line for it.
"Hey there. You're new here. Ain't cha?" The voice was annoying and loud, and when Hidan didn't answer he received a little poke in the shoulder.
Hidan snapped around and grabbed the man by the collar of his smock, "You better leave me the fuck alone."
"Oh ho ho! You really are the sexy Jashinist cult killer!" The man looked like he'd been run over by a bus on one side of his face. The other looked normal enough. "They call me Tobi around here, and I know who you are… Hidan. How about we sit together at breakfast?"
"How about I bash your face against the wall so you never talk again?"
"And then you'll get put away in solitary! If you like the room you're staying in I'm sure you'll love where they'll stick you if you make a mess on your first day."
"Fuck you. Don't talk to me. Ever." Hidan dropped Tobi's shirt and continued on.
When Hidan got to the mess hall he was practically dragged inside by a guard in a white uniform and forced to swallow a small cup of pills. He was pulled into the breakfast line by the same guard and given a tray with a bowl and spoon. As he moved, or was rather pushed, along the line by the other patients, a scoop of what he thought looked like oatmeal was slopped in his bowl. This was it? This was his breakfast? Even prison had better food. He pushed violently back into the line.
"Hey! What the hell? Do I get a fucking drink or something?"
The lady behind the counter had sharp eyes with large bags underneath. Her hair was thinning and it almost looked like her lower lip could fall off at any moment. She ignored him, but Hidan persisted.
"Hey lady. I'm fucking thirsty. You want me to die of thirst?"
The woman grabbed a cup, spit in it, and handed it to him.
That was it. Hidan was ready to storm the kitchen and beat this old bitch to a pulp when he felt an equally as annoying poke on his shoulder.
"You have to ask nicely, Hidan," the way Tobi said his name was drawn out and his voice lingered on the vowels.
"Didn't I tell you never to speak to me again?"
"Hey, Tia can I have a cup of water for my friend here, pretty please. He's new. Super crazy. Killed a whole gaggle of goose in one night. Said it was God's work." The lady behind the counter handed Tobi a full glass of water. "Thank you, beautiful. See not so hard is it, Hidan?"
Hidan grabbed the glass and sat in a wobbly chair at the most deserted table he could find. It was hard to isolate yourself because all of the tables were circular with the chairs crammed together in order to fit many people. Tobi plopped down beside him.
"I'll teach you all the ins and outs of this place! See that guard overthere?" Tobi pointed to a tall and muscular blue haired man in white giving out medicine to patients, "That's Kisame. He's a sweetheart. Nicest guy you'll ever meet. I once saw him knock out three residents having a fist fight. Also over there," Tobi pointed to the raven haired man from before, "That's Itachi Uchiha. He's here for the same reason you are; he killed a buncha' people. His whole family actually. I should know I was there watching. And over there-"
"I'm done. What do we do when we're done," Hidan said.
"Done with what? Oh, done with breakfast, doi! You have to wait until were dismissed. Then we can go back to our rooms, or maybe watch some T.V. I don't know. Whatever you like!"
"Thanks for the water. Don't follow me." Hidan got up from his seat, and while another patient was having a distracting hissy fit about not being about to sit on the floor, he snuck out the mess hall doors. Hidan wandered around for awhile until he found the common room, which was empty of course because everyone was still hoarded into the disgusting cafeteria. He skimmed through the magazines on the table. They were all outdated from years ago. He decided to try the books. Hidan hadn't read a book in years. He'd read only scriptures and verses from the Jashinist bible. His hand brushed passed the spines of the old books. To think people thought it was a cult! Ha! Jashin never asked for anything! Jashin gave! He gave understanding of others struggles through pain, and salvation through death! Hidan picked a book and looked at the cover, "In Cold Blood." Hidan decided he'd take the book back to his room to read. That sounded good enough to pass the time until he figured out a plan to get one of the crazies to shoot him in the head. Tobi would be easy enough to coerce or maybe, what was his name, the guy who killed family…"
"Don't take my books out of the common room."
"Excuse me. Your books?" Hidan turned to see a dark skinned man with long brown hair pulled together in a knot, but what struck him the most was the guy's face. It was scared into a glasgow smile and his eyes looked green and bloodshot.
"What the hell happened to you?" Hidan laughed, "You look like you just crawled out of mother fucking Halloween town. You know they have surgery to fix all of…" Hidan motioned around the other man's face with his hands, "all of this."
"You talk a lot. Do you know that?"
"And you're ugly. Do you know that? You could scare kids with that face."
"Why don't we have a chat, Hidan? You're not supposed to be out and about right now, but let's just blame it on the fact that you're new here and don't know how things work."
Hidan wasn't surprised the dude knew his name. It had been in every piece of media for the last year and a half. The scarred man sat on the larger of the two couches and motioned for Hidan to sit on the smaller one.
"Sorry. I don't want to chat."
"I insist." There was a pause in the encounter. The demeanor of this new person was hard and collected. It was calm, but not peaceful and happy, it was like the calm before a storm.
"You're not a crazy person are you? You don't look like one of them." Hidan could see the man wore a long sleeve fitted shirt and wool cardigan with comfortable looking slacks. He also wore shoes if the rest wasn't a huge give away that he wasn't a patient. His outfit was well put together and Hidan could see the hint of a muscular build underneath the layers. Hidan himself didn't skip out on workouts. He liked his body and was somewhat vain about his looks. Even in here he was determined not to let it all go. He'd find a way to workout in his room if he had to.
"No. I'm not a resident. Have a seat."
Hidan cautiously sat down, "who the fuck are you anyway?"
"I'm Dr. Kakuzu Taki. I'm one of the psychologists in this institution."
"Oi! So you're the new doc. How exciting," Hidan said sarcastically, "Sasori told me all about you. You're his esteemed college. God he spoke about you like you two fucked or something."
"Hidan can I ask you a question?"
"Ask away, Doc," Hidan smirked.
"Do you like it here? I know it's your first day, but what was your first impression?"
"Honestly the place is a complete shithole. Worse than prison. The food tastes like mashed up maggots and the rooms smell like piss and shit. Not to mention the batshit crazies that just walk around the place. I hate it. Can't wait to leave."
"Hidan you're not leaving. You know that right? Do you understand that this is your home now?"
"My lawyer and that stupid doctor Sasori fucked me over. I wanted to die."
"Then why don't you just kill yourself?"
"It's against my religion. Suicide is a horrible horrible sin. I'd put it at the top of the list of sins actually."
"That's interesting. What else is a sin in your religion, Hidan?"
"Ha. I can already tell you're better than Sasori. His questions are boring as hell. I could fall asleep standing up with him talking. Let's see… another horrible sin is to not kill."
"Not kill? So letting people live is a sin?"
"Yes. Jashinism teaches that anything other than complete destruction of another is a crime against God. Hmmm… so why don't I kill everyone in this damned place than? Well, I'll tell ya, because according to the scriptures I can't. Not like I did with the others. There are certain rituals that must be performed. Blood to be sacrificed."
Kakuzu lifted his eyebrows in a calm look of surprise.
"You know what I take it back you're worse than that shit Sasori. You're a pretentious petty shit I can tell. You think I'm crazy too? Are you diagnosing me a psycho because I killed all those people. I loved all those people. They raised me. They helped me grow and understand things I would have never come to understand on my own. Jashin asked me to kill them and they welcomed me to do so. What do you think Doctor Kakuzu? Do you think I'm fucking mental or that I deserve to die?"
"I think that you talk too much. Also your shirt is inside out. You could get in trouble for that. I'll see you when we have our first session tonight," Kakuzu got up to leave, "And one more thing. Don't take my books from the common room or I'll kill you myself."
He left just as people started to filter into the room from breakfast. Hidan was stunned that this man seemed almost unfazed by the fact that he killed close to 80 people. Usually people seemed, at least, a bit nervous when they first met him. Pretentious bastard. Fuck him. Hidan stuffed the book down his pants to bring back to his room.
"I wish he would kill me," Hidan thought.