We Are Not Twins! Author's Note:
by Gwin Gold-X-X-X-
The funniest thing is when people mistake them for twin brothers/sisters. It just cracks me up.
And so, without further ado, I bring to you We Are Not Twins!, a fanfiction in which Rumpelstiltskin meets Durza (y'know, from the Eragon movie?). Enjoy!
-X-X-X-
Sparky snapped out of her daze momentarily, and stared at Legolas and Will. "You guys know each other?"
KG was watching Will and Legolas with a bewildered look on her face.
"What?" Will exclaimed, unnerved by her staring.
"You look…very much the same," KG replied.
"Brothers," Legolas said by way of explanation.Gwin Gold and Karagorn - "A Journey Into The Movies"-X-X-X-
It was all very strange to Rumpelstiltskin. One minute, he had been spinning straw into gold (more to help him forget than anything), and the next minute, there was a puff of grayish-purple smoke, and he found himself standing in what appeared to be the dungeons of a castle.
Of course, Rumpelstiltskin being Rumpelstiltskin, was curious instead of worried about where he was. Inquisitively, he walked along the corridors, peeking into each dungeon cell.
Most of them were empty, save for the occassional skeleton or rat.
Just as he entered what was almost certainly the interrogation room (also known as the torturing room), Rumpelstiltskin began to lose interest-none of this was very impressive. Before he could try and cast some sort of spell to send him home, however, he heard a voice behind him. "And just who might you be?"
Rumpelstiltskin spun around. In front of him was a man about his same height, with long, dark-crimson hair and a very pale-almost ashy-complexion.
"I'm Rumpelstiltskin, of course!" Rumpelstiltskin gave the strange man one of his crooked trademark grins. "Who might you be?"
"Durza." The man's expression was one of contempt. "You must have been sent here by accident; I cast a spell to bring the Dragon Rider here, and instead you came. How infuriating; the spell is a complicated one and used up almost all of my energy."
"I don't know of any Dragon Rider, dearie," Rumpelstiltskin crossed his arms. "But as for your energy, you must not be a very powerful magician; teleportation spells are easy!"
Durza's eyes blazed. "You dare to insult me?"
"Oh, it's just the hard truth, dearie, not an insult." Rumpelstiltskin giggled. "I'm obviously more powerful than you."
"Prove it!" Durza roared. "We shall have a magic duel!"
Rumpelstiltskin let out a manic, high-pitched laugh. "Deal!"
"Very well." Durza's lips quirked into a tight half-smile. "Let's start with something simple..." Without warning, he sent several of the metal instruments of torture hurtling towards Rumpelstiltskin.
It didn't phase him. He simply snapped his fingers, turning the iron rods into roses. They fell to the ground, sending up an odd little cloud of purple dust when they collided with the floor.
Durza laughed. "Parlor tricks, turning weapons into flowers."
"Maybe so, maybe so, but it's effective, isn't it? You failed to hit me." Rumpelstiltskin grinned again.
This seemed to irk Durza, and his next act was to throw several fireballs at Rumpelstiltskin...
...who then easily deflected them with a magic spell, sending them straight back at Durza. The Shade dispelled the fire before it could hit him.
Durza growled something in another language, under his breath. Rumpelstiltskin giggled again.
And so the duel went on. Durza would send some manner of magic at Rumpelstiltskin-spheres of shadows, poisonous gas, fire, and other things-and Rumpelstiltskin would either evade them, deflect them, or turn it into something harmless (it exasperated Durza greatly when the ferocious, powerful dragon he summoned got turned into a fluffy, harmless bunny rabbit).
"Well, there aren't many who know how to do this," Durza said finally, gritting his teeth in annoyance when Rumpelstiltskin turned a pack of rabid wolves into a group of snails. 'This' was, in fact, a disappearing trick. Durza raised his arms, and vanished into thin air.
Rumpelstiltskin looked around, and spotted Durza standing behind him. For some unknown reason, this amused Rumpelstiltskin and he gave another one of his insane laughs.
"Is that the best you can do, dearie?" he giggled. Then he promptly vanished as well.
Durza let out an angry exclamation and whirled around, searching for his opponent. Yet another high-pitched laugh from above caught his attention, and he looked up.
Rumpelstiltskin was sitting on the iron chandelier-it was more of a holder for candles, really, but chandelier sounded more elegant, despite the fact that this was a torture camber-swinging back and forth.
Durza opened his mouth to say something, but before he could, Rumpelstiltskin suddenly appeared in front of him.
"Very well, it seems we are equal in our powers," Durza muttered reluctantly. The only answer he received was another cackle from Rumpelstiltskin.
Before Durza could say something more, a voice came from the entrance to the torture chamber. "Durza!"
Both Durza and Rumpelstiltskin turned. Two men stood at the entrance to the room-a young man with blond hair, and an older man with gray hair, who was holding a sword with a blood-red blade.
"Ah, if it isn't the young Dragon Rider and his mentor-" Durza began.
But suddenly Eragon interrupted. "Who's he?" He pointed at Rumpelstiltskin, who gave a low, sweeping bow. "Is he your twin brother?"
"What?" Durza and Rumpelstiltskin spoke in unison.
"He is most certainly not my brother, twin or otherwise, you insolent fool!" Durza snarled.
"Do you need your eyes checked, dearie?" Rumpelstiltskin added, peering at Eragon.
"How could you not be brothers?" Brom asked, frowning. "You two definitely look alike."
Durza and Rumpelstiltskin gaped at him.
Just then, King Galbatorix came into the room, dragging Arya, a red-haired Elf, behind him. "Durza, why have you-" He noticed Rumpelstiltskin. "I never knew you had a twin brother, Durza."
"WE ARE NOT TWIN BROTHERS!" Durza shouted at the same time as Rumpelstiltskin. The very thought appalled them.
"But I thought for sure..." Eragon began, his brow furrowed.
"What's your brother's name, Durza?" asked Galbatorix.
Rumpelstiltskin began to giggle, but this time it was more from anxiety than amusement. "I'm not his brother, dearie."
"Whether you are or aren't his brother, you will address me as 'Your Majesty', not 'dearie'," Gabatorix snapped.
"He's not my brother, milord," Durza added quickly. "Just...he came here...accidentally. You were just going back now, weren't you?" He glowered at Rumpelstiltskin.
"Uh, yes, I..." Rumpelstiltskin stammered. Then he remembered that he was the Dark One, and the Dark One did not stammer. "Indeed I am, dearie. Farewell." He gave yet another low sweeping bow before casting a teleportation spell and returning to his estate.
And so he returned to spinning gold, his mind on the strange happenings he had just been involved in.
Durza, Eragon, Galbatorix, Brom, and Arya were left standing in utter bewilderment at Galbatorix's castle.
No matter how much gold Rumpelstiltskin spinned, and no matter how many forgetting spells Durza cast upon himself, they would never forget their strange meeting.