The first story ever. A bit scary you know. Don`t be that critical, please. At least not today.
That was one of that beauties summer nights. The sky was burning with thousands of blinding stars. There no way you would like to stop staring at it and take your site of, `cause once you do there`s no guarantee that you will see something as remarkable in there as it was a moment ago.
It was a night of a heavy thoughts and terrible nightmares. Even pills won`t help you, don`t you even try, because you will make it even worse, you dreams will become more horribly brighter and more realistic. You won`t be able to run from this one.
Some people, the wise one, just don`t make themselves, they understand, that they`ve better not to. So they go and clear their heads up on the fresh air. Agent Romanoff was not the exception.
For a few days now, she was bothered with cloudy and hard-understandable dreams, to which she didn`t want to come back. So she made a decision, which was absolutely consciously made, not to sleep the rest of the night if she had a bad dream or not to sleep at all. She could allow it to herself, as she was on a break, took some time off after so many assignments. So instead of sleeping she was heading to the Stark Tower roof, where was plenty and enough of space for herself. She tried not to turn anyone's attention while sneaking on the roof, but on the next night she got busted. *Surprise, surprise*. By Clint.
He almost made no noise, but Natasha knew that it was him and he was coming over here. It didn`t scare her, or upset or, anything at all. His coming had changed nothing. She continued sitting just as she did before – non-emotional and careless.
- Nice night to walk around partner. Feeling sad that you hadn`t called – I would`ve brought some cookies and a pillow.
But not even a sound replied, not anything. She still had that dumb look in the middle of nowhere.
-Or, you know, I could`ve bring some beer in here. Or… why to hell should we waste our time on trifles - I could`ve taken a bottle of vodka. That would be nice, ha? Don`t you think.
Nothing. He even started thinking, that he must`ve be dreaming, or it`s a doll sitting in front of him – not Tasha.
-Nat? Nat! Are you alright?
-Yeah, yeah... – Finally, said quite shattered voice. – I just like listening you talking. Keep on. I`m here. I`m alright. Not needed in a pillow, `cause I'm obviously going to sleep, or cookies, or beer, or vodka. For Christ sake, Vodka? Srsly?
Her face looked tired, well, not only face – everything, from her finger to her toes, looked like that. She looked…"done". And not only looked. It was obviously that she felt the same. She was about to fall asleep but she was not letting herself to.
-Stop being stubborn and go get some sleep. It seems that you haven`t slept for days...about...four. Four right? Or five? Answer honestly.
-It`s the fifth one. And I feel fine.
-No, you are not. What happened? Is something bothering you? If it`s all in Thor`s snoring I swear I'll make him sleep quietly.
-No, no it`s okay. Let him do what he usually does. He`s staying only for a few days, so I think it`s alright. Everyone will bear it two more days.
-Then what is it? What`s wrong?
-Nightmares. I`m sure they will past, but just… not now. It`s because of my mission, from which I just came back. Everything was going great, until rebels cooperated with refugees and everything started getting critical and mass, and cruel, and then even more cruel, and more horrible. I`m the assassin, I'm okay with these things. But once, unexpectedly, when the territory was protected and was under my custody, I heard woman screaming. Someone started shooting repeatedly and then the baby cried. But we were too far. And when we got there it was too late – the woman was dead, and blood was everywhere, - a tar slipped from Natasha`s cheek, - and we saw there a baby. An innocent baby who he left behind, out of mercy or something, with is already dead mother, in whose blood he`s been crying and screaming for mommy. He has no one now, you know? I just can`t forget that look in his eyes. It comes for me every night, saying "It`s your fault, it`s your fault, you hadn`t seen it through – you hadn`t seen the killer".
Widow started weeping frantically. Hawkeye pulled her to him, hugged her tightly and leaned to her head with lips. A sun was about to rise.