'No,' was a word that appeared frequently in his life- too frequently. It was a fun word to use, but when someone else used it towards him, that was an entirely different story. 'No,' was a limitation, a command, an annoyance.
"No, Judal, you can't go running off."
"No, Judal, you're not allowed to do this; you're not allowed to do that,"
"No, no, no, no."
There was one 'no' though, that really bothered him- more than he'd care to admit.
It was the power that had first caught Judal's attention, the overwhelming sense of purpose he carried with him, the sea of rukh that made him shine like the sun. It was power that he sought out and desired; he wanted that power- he wanted him- ally or opponent, he would take either; ally was a lot more appealing though.
'Yes' had been his first answer. 'Yes' had been the unbiased, honest answer. 'Yes' had been the few moments of perfection before they showed up, and his cover, per say (he hadn't known the difference at the time, hadn't known why the formality of his 'connections' had such a large impact) was blown; within moments the answer had been reversed, and there went his candidate.
'No' was the answer from then on.
He didn't give up though.
The magi craved attention, having been depraved of it for so long, and reveled in the bits of it- good or bad- he received from the king; besides, it was fun, and before long, he knew a lot more than he'd initially planned.
He knew how to annoy the hell out of the guy, what bits of conversation to poke and prod at to drive him up a wall; he knew what his wine tasted like- the idiot was drunk half the time, and often offered it to him (sometimes Judal was able to get some gold too, or a trinket here and there, simply by asking). He knew the shifts of the palace guards- if you could really call them that- practically by heart; he knew what his bed felt like (he never stayed the night though) and he knew why the idiot wouldn't accept his offer.
'No,' was a loose fitting term, however. It was used so often it didn't have that strong of an impact on him anymore. 'No,' was something he could deal with, eventually.
But 'never'?
'Never' was a strong word, a definite statement, and 'never' was the unspoken answer he tried to ignore.