What If I Said
By Emma Strachan (aka miss_hn)
Hnchick@hotmail.com
Disclaimer: JAG is the property of CBS, Donald Bellasario, et al; this is a recreational endeavor; no profit is being made and no copyright infringement is intended.
The songs What If I Said and Without You belong to Human Nature and Sony Music Australia.
What If I Said was written by M Tierney, A Tierney and A Klippel.
Without You was written by M Tierney, A Tierney and P Begaud.
Thankyous: Thanks to Vanessa for the weekly editing of this story during our car trips to uni and working out where the chapters should be. To Rebecca for helping with the editing and writing the letter to Mic. To Harm (aka Cdr_Harmon_Rabb) for putting up with me constantly bugging him every week with questions and for the suggestion of Mac's favorite pizza topping. Also thankyou to Donald Bellasario for producing such a fantastic show. Thankyou to the four sexy guys from Human Nature for writing such fantastic songs! I hope everyone enjoys the story!!
Rating: PG
Summary: Harm and Mac's relationship advances to the next level.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------- ---------------------------------
1 Chapter 1
Thursday
JAG Headquarters
Falls Church, Virginia
Mac sat at her desk, fiddling with the diamond ring on her right hand. Why is it so hard to decide, she thought to herself, looking down at the ring? She still wasn't sure if she really loved him although she knew he loved her. She wanted to settle down and have kids, but she knew in her heart Mic wasn't the man she wanted to grow old with. She could never picture herself old with Mic but she could with him.
She could see the two of them in a small cosy home looking after the grand kids. But when if came to Mic she saw nothing. 'Why can't things be simple?' She looked at the pile of work on her desk, she'd been at work for 3 hours, 36 minutes and 12 seconds and she hadn't done a single thing (except for drink gallons of coffee to keep her awake after many sleepless nights.) How could she do anything with so many thoughts running through her head? 'Come on Mac. You're a Marine. Pull yourself together and get things under control!!' She ordered herself. How could she?
Things were so much more complicated now that Mic had decided to leave the Navy and more to DC to be near her. Mac felt as though he was forcing her to make a decision. To finally decide if she wanted to become Mrs Mic Brumby.
Since Mic returned, Mac's relationship with Harm had gone down hill. Someday's he seemed to avoid her, and he had become more distant since "the whole Australia thing." Come to think of it, he had been distant ever since he returned to JAG. His leaving really tore their relationship apart. It was then that Mac really allowed herself to love him. She never realised what was in front of her until it was gone.
But what could be done about it now? Harm was going out with Renee and they seemed happy together. But what interests did they share? thought Mac. In her opinion, the major thing wrong with their relationship was that he was going out with Renee and not her.
She couldn't do anything to jeoperdise their relationship; Harm was her best friend. It would just hurt their friendship even more and she couldn't risk that happening. Sometimes she felt as though he knew and understood her better than she did. He was her soulmate.
God, I can't do this anymore. I have to get out of here. Mac stood and grabbed her gym bag from behind the door. She left her office and strolled across the bullpen to Gunny's desk.
'Gunny. I'm going for a run. If anyone wants me I'll be back in about an hour.'
'Yes ma'am. Have a good run.'
'Thanks Gunny.'
* * * * *
JAG Headquarters
Falls Church, Virginia
Harm looked up from the file he was reading to see the bullpen almost empty. 'What time is it?' he asked himself, glancing at his watch. '1230!' he said aloud in disbelief. No way possible could it be 1230. He'd been there since 0730 that morning going over the files for tomorrow's court martial.
No wonder his neck ached and his eyes hurt. He really needed a break. 'I may as well sit and relax for a while before lunch.' he said to himself quietly, closing the file he had been reading.
He couldn't wait for 1300 to come. He had planned the day before to have lunch with Mac. They hadn't sat down in a while and just talked like they used to. Harm felt that their friendship wasn't as strong as it had been. So much had happened over the last year that he wished he could turn back the clock and change things.
First thing he would change would be "the whole Australia thing." He still hated himself for closing off his feelings that night on the ferry. Why had he been so stupid? He knew what his feelings were, but why couldn't he express them? He was scared. Scared that she would reject him and if that happened he wasn't sure if he could go on living.
Harm took another look at his watch, wishing he had Mac's sense of time. It was close enough to one. He stood, piled all his files to one side of the desk and headed for the bullpen and Mac's office.
Walking towards her office, he noticed the door was closed and the blinds were shut.
'Are you looking for the Colonel, sir?' Gunny asked passing by.
'Yeah, I am. You wouldn't know where she is?' Harm enquired.
'Yes sir. She went for a run. You missed her by about 10 minutes.'
'Did she say when she would be back?'
'In about an hour sir,' Gunny replied, wondering what was going on. The Commander had a worried look on his face when he discovered the Colonel wasn't in her office. That look was now one of hurt. It looked as though he had been in a fight with a group of Marines and had lost......badly.
'Ok, thanks Gunny,' Harm mumbled heading back to his office.
'Not a problem, sir.'
He walked in, closed the door and sat at his desk. Letting out a long sigh, he picked up the phone and dialed Renee's number.
'Hey Renee. It's me. What are you doing for lunch?'
* * * * *
1500 hours
JAG Headquarters
Falls Church, Virginia
Mac was feeling clear headed and refreshed after her run. She needed to do that more often. To just drop everything and go running. Next time she'd see if Harm wanted to go as well. Then again, she didn't feel like sitting in a hospital, he really should remember to look both ways before crossing the road.
Speaking of Harm, she hadn't seen him all morning. She knew he was here, she parked next to his car. I wonder where he could be? Mac asked herself, leaving her office and entering the noisy bullpen. Making a beeline for Harm's office, she noticed he was in there, engrossed in some file, probably one for tomorrow's court martial.
'Hey flyboy,' she said cheerfully, leaning against the doorframe. 'What are you doing?'
'What does it look like?' Harm replied not looking up.
'Ok, you're angry about something, but there's no need to take it out on me.' she replied sharply, seating herself in the chair across from his desk.
'I'm not angry. I'm hurt.'
'Why? Did you and Renee brake up?' she said eagerly.
'No!'
'Then what's wrong?'
'I'm just a little hurt over the fact that a "friend" and I planned to have lunch together today, but "she" decided to go running instead. She didn't even bother to tell me.' he said finally looking up from the file.
'Oh, I'm so sorry. I completely forgot. I've got so much on my mind at the moment. How can I make it up to you?' she said, feeling very guilty. 'I know. Next Saturday night I'm free. How about we get some pizza and a couple of videos? We can just relax and talk at my place.'
Mac had a pleading look on her face. A look that Harm couldn't stay angry at, especially when it was coming from his favorite jarhead.
'Ok then. Your place, next Saturday night. You get the videos, I'll get the pizza.'
'Cool. How about you come over at 6:30?' she asked standing and walking towards the door.
'Sure, whatever time suits you.' Harm replied happily, glad that he would be spending the night with pizza, videos and his ningagirl.
'Oh, by the way. Do you want me to hire out Top Gun?' she asked with a devious smirk.
'What! They made a film about me?' he enquired with a flyboy grin. A grin that made Mac go weak at the knees.
'Oh, very funny. Get back to work.' she ordered him, leaving his office.
'Yes ma'am!' he yelled after her, giving her a mock salute.
* * * * *
to be continued.
By Emma Strachan (aka miss_hn)
Hnchick@hotmail.com
Disclaimer: JAG is the property of CBS, Donald Bellasario, et al; this is a recreational endeavor; no profit is being made and no copyright infringement is intended.
The songs What If I Said and Without You belong to Human Nature and Sony Music Australia.
What If I Said was written by M Tierney, A Tierney and A Klippel.
Without You was written by M Tierney, A Tierney and P Begaud.
Thankyous: Thanks to Vanessa for the weekly editing of this story during our car trips to uni and working out where the chapters should be. To Rebecca for helping with the editing and writing the letter to Mic. To Harm (aka Cdr_Harmon_Rabb) for putting up with me constantly bugging him every week with questions and for the suggestion of Mac's favorite pizza topping. Also thankyou to Donald Bellasario for producing such a fantastic show. Thankyou to the four sexy guys from Human Nature for writing such fantastic songs! I hope everyone enjoys the story!!
Rating: PG
Summary: Harm and Mac's relationship advances to the next level.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------- ---------------------------------
1 Chapter 1
Thursday
JAG Headquarters
Falls Church, Virginia
Mac sat at her desk, fiddling with the diamond ring on her right hand. Why is it so hard to decide, she thought to herself, looking down at the ring? She still wasn't sure if she really loved him although she knew he loved her. She wanted to settle down and have kids, but she knew in her heart Mic wasn't the man she wanted to grow old with. She could never picture herself old with Mic but she could with him.
She could see the two of them in a small cosy home looking after the grand kids. But when if came to Mic she saw nothing. 'Why can't things be simple?' She looked at the pile of work on her desk, she'd been at work for 3 hours, 36 minutes and 12 seconds and she hadn't done a single thing (except for drink gallons of coffee to keep her awake after many sleepless nights.) How could she do anything with so many thoughts running through her head? 'Come on Mac. You're a Marine. Pull yourself together and get things under control!!' She ordered herself. How could she?
Things were so much more complicated now that Mic had decided to leave the Navy and more to DC to be near her. Mac felt as though he was forcing her to make a decision. To finally decide if she wanted to become Mrs Mic Brumby.
Since Mic returned, Mac's relationship with Harm had gone down hill. Someday's he seemed to avoid her, and he had become more distant since "the whole Australia thing." Come to think of it, he had been distant ever since he returned to JAG. His leaving really tore their relationship apart. It was then that Mac really allowed herself to love him. She never realised what was in front of her until it was gone.
But what could be done about it now? Harm was going out with Renee and they seemed happy together. But what interests did they share? thought Mac. In her opinion, the major thing wrong with their relationship was that he was going out with Renee and not her.
She couldn't do anything to jeoperdise their relationship; Harm was her best friend. It would just hurt their friendship even more and she couldn't risk that happening. Sometimes she felt as though he knew and understood her better than she did. He was her soulmate.
God, I can't do this anymore. I have to get out of here. Mac stood and grabbed her gym bag from behind the door. She left her office and strolled across the bullpen to Gunny's desk.
'Gunny. I'm going for a run. If anyone wants me I'll be back in about an hour.'
'Yes ma'am. Have a good run.'
'Thanks Gunny.'
* * * * *
JAG Headquarters
Falls Church, Virginia
Harm looked up from the file he was reading to see the bullpen almost empty. 'What time is it?' he asked himself, glancing at his watch. '1230!' he said aloud in disbelief. No way possible could it be 1230. He'd been there since 0730 that morning going over the files for tomorrow's court martial.
No wonder his neck ached and his eyes hurt. He really needed a break. 'I may as well sit and relax for a while before lunch.' he said to himself quietly, closing the file he had been reading.
He couldn't wait for 1300 to come. He had planned the day before to have lunch with Mac. They hadn't sat down in a while and just talked like they used to. Harm felt that their friendship wasn't as strong as it had been. So much had happened over the last year that he wished he could turn back the clock and change things.
First thing he would change would be "the whole Australia thing." He still hated himself for closing off his feelings that night on the ferry. Why had he been so stupid? He knew what his feelings were, but why couldn't he express them? He was scared. Scared that she would reject him and if that happened he wasn't sure if he could go on living.
Harm took another look at his watch, wishing he had Mac's sense of time. It was close enough to one. He stood, piled all his files to one side of the desk and headed for the bullpen and Mac's office.
Walking towards her office, he noticed the door was closed and the blinds were shut.
'Are you looking for the Colonel, sir?' Gunny asked passing by.
'Yeah, I am. You wouldn't know where she is?' Harm enquired.
'Yes sir. She went for a run. You missed her by about 10 minutes.'
'Did she say when she would be back?'
'In about an hour sir,' Gunny replied, wondering what was going on. The Commander had a worried look on his face when he discovered the Colonel wasn't in her office. That look was now one of hurt. It looked as though he had been in a fight with a group of Marines and had lost......badly.
'Ok, thanks Gunny,' Harm mumbled heading back to his office.
'Not a problem, sir.'
He walked in, closed the door and sat at his desk. Letting out a long sigh, he picked up the phone and dialed Renee's number.
'Hey Renee. It's me. What are you doing for lunch?'
* * * * *
1500 hours
JAG Headquarters
Falls Church, Virginia
Mac was feeling clear headed and refreshed after her run. She needed to do that more often. To just drop everything and go running. Next time she'd see if Harm wanted to go as well. Then again, she didn't feel like sitting in a hospital, he really should remember to look both ways before crossing the road.
Speaking of Harm, she hadn't seen him all morning. She knew he was here, she parked next to his car. I wonder where he could be? Mac asked herself, leaving her office and entering the noisy bullpen. Making a beeline for Harm's office, she noticed he was in there, engrossed in some file, probably one for tomorrow's court martial.
'Hey flyboy,' she said cheerfully, leaning against the doorframe. 'What are you doing?'
'What does it look like?' Harm replied not looking up.
'Ok, you're angry about something, but there's no need to take it out on me.' she replied sharply, seating herself in the chair across from his desk.
'I'm not angry. I'm hurt.'
'Why? Did you and Renee brake up?' she said eagerly.
'No!'
'Then what's wrong?'
'I'm just a little hurt over the fact that a "friend" and I planned to have lunch together today, but "she" decided to go running instead. She didn't even bother to tell me.' he said finally looking up from the file.
'Oh, I'm so sorry. I completely forgot. I've got so much on my mind at the moment. How can I make it up to you?' she said, feeling very guilty. 'I know. Next Saturday night I'm free. How about we get some pizza and a couple of videos? We can just relax and talk at my place.'
Mac had a pleading look on her face. A look that Harm couldn't stay angry at, especially when it was coming from his favorite jarhead.
'Ok then. Your place, next Saturday night. You get the videos, I'll get the pizza.'
'Cool. How about you come over at 6:30?' she asked standing and walking towards the door.
'Sure, whatever time suits you.' Harm replied happily, glad that he would be spending the night with pizza, videos and his ningagirl.
'Oh, by the way. Do you want me to hire out Top Gun?' she asked with a devious smirk.
'What! They made a film about me?' he enquired with a flyboy grin. A grin that made Mac go weak at the knees.
'Oh, very funny. Get back to work.' she ordered him, leaving his office.
'Yes ma'am!' he yelled after her, giving her a mock salute.
* * * * *
to be continued.