1 Title: Sweet Confessions
2 Author: Lori Hanson
Summary: Carter visits Abby and finds out a startling revelation.
Rating: PG
Disclaimer: The ER series and its characters belong to Constant C Productions and Warner Brothers. The plot of this story, however, is mine all mine! This story may not be redistributed in any way without the express consent of the author. No infringement is intended.
Spoilers: A Simple Twist of Fate and Beyond Repair. Possibly May Day and Sand and Water.
Author's notes: This story is a little filler for A Simple Twist of Fate. It's what I would've liked to have seen happen. This story takes place before It's All In Your Head, where Abby finds out that Brian only gets one- year parole and no jail time for what he did to her. This story has no bearing on upcoming episodes.
Although this is definitely not my first fanfiction, it is my first ER fanfiction, so please be gentle on me. : )
Archive: My website and fanfiction.net, all other's please ask first.
Feedback: Yes, as long as it is constructive criticism. No flames please.
Contact: carterabby2@cs.com
I'd like to thank my beta readers: My mom, Dan and BriarRose. I couldn't have done it without you guys!
************************************************************************
There was a knock at her door. She was afraid. Afraid to answer it after what had happened a couple of days ago when she had opened her door. It almost seemed like dejavu. She was in her pajamas again and it was late. She had a glass of red wine in her hand that she knew she shouldn't have. The only difference was that she was in a hotel room and not her apartment.
She knew it couldn't be him. He couldn't find her, could he? He was supposed to be in jail, right? It couldn't be him.
The knock came again. What was wrong with her? This wasn't like her. She wasn't afraid of anything. Well, that wasn't entirely true. She was afraid of opening up and committing to people, although she would never admit that openly. She was afraid of what her drinking again was leading to. She was afraid of things she would never admit to herself consciously, but she wasn't afraid of things like this. So what the hell was wrong with her?
"Abby, are you in there?"
At hearing the familiar voice, Abby calmed down a great deal. She set her glass of wine down on the nightstand and walked to the door to answer it. She hoped her breath didn't smell of alcohol. When she answered the door, a familiar face greeted her.
"Oh my God," he said. She noted his gasp as he looked at her.
"It looks worse than it really is," Abby said, pointing to the bruise and swelling that had been left on her face after Brian, her next-door neighbor, had beaten her.
"Susan told me what happened and where you were. I would've come sooner, but I wasn't sure that you wanted company right away."
"I'm okay, Carter, really," Abby said, noting the concern in his voice.
"Can I come in?" Carter asked.
"Oh, yeah, sorry," Abby said as she moved out of the way so he could come in. Carter walked in and she closed the door behind him.
He walked over to the one chair in the room that belonged to the lone table in the room. Beyond that there was one queen-sized bed, a nightstand, dresser, refrigerator and the bathroom. It was a normal sized room, nothing special. The walls were white and the carpeting was tan and matched the bedspread.
"You know, you could've stayed longer at Susan's house, she wouldn't have minded, really."
"I know. I just didn't want to impose. I figured two nights were enough," Abby said. Of course deep down inside, Abby knew that her not staying longer at Susan's had nothing to do with imposing.
Abby sat down on the bed. Her hand automatically started to reach for the glass of wine sitting on the nightstand beside her. She realized what she was doing and stopped herself. She looked up at Carter and realized his gaze was on the glass of wine she had been just about to pick up. He then looked up at her. His expression showed shock and some other unreadable emotion.
She didn't know what to say and didn't want to rattle off some false explanation, thus she decided silence was the best way to go. She found herself looking guiltily away from Carter. No one else from work would find her drinking wine strange. No one else from work knew the truth except for Carter.
The silence between them became almost unbearable. They used to be able to have comfortable silences together. Lately they had grown apart from each other and their friendship wasn't exactly the same as it used to be. Abby missed that friendship. She knew that her relationship with Luka, when they had been together, and Carter's current relationship with Susan both had contributed to their diminishing friendship.
She heard Carter get up. She looked up and watched him walk over to the nightstand where her glass of wine was. He picked it up and said, "If you're really okay, then why are you drinking, Abby?"
She was silent once again. What was she supposed to say? Even she didn't know why she was drinking again.
He put the glass back down on the nightstand and sat down next to her on the bed.
"Abby, you have friends who care about you. You should've come to us if you were having trouble dealing with this, instead of turning to alcohol."
'Us? Don't you mean YOU?' Abby thought.
"We haven't exactly been the best of friends lately, Carter," Abby said.
"Look, I know we haven't been talking like we used to and I know there's been some tension between us, but you're still my friend, Abby. I still care about you. I would've been there for you. You didn't have to turn to alcohol. Not when you've been sober for so long."
Abby got up and began to pace. Before she realized what she was saying, the words were out of her mouth. "This isn't what led me to drinking again. I was drinking again before this happened."
"What?" Carter asked, shocked.
Abby stopped dead in her tracks, with her back to Carter. She hadn't wanted to tell him that, it had just slipped out.
"When did you start drinking again?" Carter asked gently.
Abby kept her back toward Carter so that she didn't have to see his expression as she was talking. "On my birthday. It was the day you saw Sobriki again. It was my birthday and no one at work wished me a happy birthday. It ended up being a horrible day in general. I came home from work and my next-door neighbor was sitting on the steps in the lobby of my apartment complex. She found out it was my birthday and offered me a beer out of her six-pack. At first I said no, but then she offered again. It seemed appealing after the day I had had, so I took the beer, okay?"
"It was your birthday that day." Abby could tell it was a statement, not a question. "I'm so sorry."
"It's okay. I understand. You had other things on your mind."
"Abby, why did you really take that beer?" Carter asked.
Abby began pacing again. "I don't know," she said.
"You've been sober for over five years. Why screw that up now?"
"I don't know," Abby said again, with more vehemence.
"Look, Abby, I'm not judging you-"
"Oh, come on, Carter," Abby began as she stopped pacing and faced him, "you told me Anspaugh used that same exact line on you during your intervention."
"I just don't want to see you get hurt, or screw up your life again, that you've worked so hard to get back, by the way."
"It's my life to screw up…it's my problem, not yours," Abby said.
"I pretty much said the same thing to you when I was doing drugs. You sure didn't listen to me and I'm probably alive because of you."
"That was different," Abby said, knowing she was grasping at straws.
"How?" Carter asked.
"It just was, Carter," Abby said in a frustrated tone of voice as she began to pace again. This was not the type of conversation she wanted to be having right now.
"Do you want to go to a meeting right now? I'm sure we can find one."
"No!" Abby said fiercely.
"Abby-"
"Carter, no. I don't want to go, okay? Can we please just drop this subject?"
"No, Abby, I can't drop it just like that. You wouldn't let me drop it when I was going through this. I want to help you, like you helped me."
"Then just drop it."
"Abby-"
"Carter, I mean it. Drop it," Abby said forcibly. She heard Carter audibly sigh.
"Fine, but I'm not dropping this for good by any means, Abby. And I'll only drop it tonight on two conditions."
"And what are those two conditions?" Abby asked tiredly as she sat down on the bed next to Carter.
"That you let me dump out that glass of wine and that you give me the bottle of wine you obviously have."
Although Abby was craving a drink very badly at that moment, she was too tired to fight and the only other alternative was to ask Carter to leave, and she realized at that moment she didn't really want to be alone.
"Fine," Abby said handing Carter the glass of wine. "The bottle of wine is in the refrigerator." She didn't need the wine anyway, she hadn't fallen off the wagon. She was a recovering alcoholic, not an active alcoholic. This whole thing was only temporary, or at least she was trying to convince herself of those things.
She watched as Carter got up, took the glass of wine from the nightstand, walked to the bathroom sink and poured it out, leaving the glass on the sink. Then he walked over to her small refrigerator, took out the bottle of wine, which was lying down on the bottom shelf, rather than standing up, closed the refrigerator and walked back over to the bathroom sink. Once again he poured out the contents of the bottle and then walked back to the bed and sat down next to Abby.
"You know, I paid good money for that bottle of wine," Abby said jokingly.
"Yeah, well, life isn't fair is it?" Carter piped back, joking as well.
They sat in silence for a few moments. "Do you wanna go get some coffee at Doc Macgoo's?" Carter finally asked.
"I don't really feel like going out right now," Abby said, pointing at her bruised face. "There's a coffee maker right over there on the dresser with some coffee. We can just have coffee here if that's okay with you."
"Sure," Carter said.
Abby got up and started the coffee maker and a few moments later they had coffee. She put cream and sugar in their coffee and brought both cups back to the bed. She handed Carter his cup of coffee before sitting back down.
They sat for a few moments in silence. Then something miraculous happened. They began to talk. They talked about everything. They talked for hours. They caught up on old times and lost track of time. They talked until Carter's pager went off. He took his pager from his pocket and checked it.
"It's the hospital. Can I use the phone?"
"Sure," Abby said.
Carter called the hospital. After a moment he finished the conversation and got off the phone. "The ER just got slammed. They need me. I have to go."
"Okay," Abby said, a bit disappointed that he was leaving.
They both got up and walked toward the door. They got to the door and Carter opened it. Before he walked out the door, he turned around.
"Abby, don't screw up your life again. If you feel like having a drink, go to a meeting or call me. You can get through this and whatever led you to start drinking again in the first place. You're strong, Abby."
"I know, Carter, but…it's hard."
"I know it is, Abby. I know. You can do it though…Now don't think I won't be bothering you about this again."
"I know," she said smiling.
Carter grabbed Abby and hugged her. She returned the hug.
"Thanks for coming over, Carter." Abby looked up and found him staring down at her. They held the eye contact silently for what seemed like an eternity to Abby. She found her eyes were drawn to Carter's lips. Suddenly her heart was pounding and her palms were sweaty. As if in slow motion, she watched as Carter leaned down toward her. She closed her eyes. A second later she felt soft lips touching her own. His lips were so sweet and so gentle. She found that her entire body was on fire from just one kiss from him. She couldn't believe he could make her feel that way with just one kiss.
As quickly as the kiss began, it ended and Carter was gone, like a phantom in the night.
Abby closed the door, leaned her back against it and touched her lips with the index finger of her right hand. He had kissed her. As brief as it had been, he had still kissed her. She didn't know what it meant for them, or how she felt about it. She only knew her entire body was tingling from head to toe. She smiled and wondered what the future held in store for them.
The End!
2 Author: Lori Hanson
Summary: Carter visits Abby and finds out a startling revelation.
Rating: PG
Disclaimer: The ER series and its characters belong to Constant C Productions and Warner Brothers. The plot of this story, however, is mine all mine! This story may not be redistributed in any way without the express consent of the author. No infringement is intended.
Spoilers: A Simple Twist of Fate and Beyond Repair. Possibly May Day and Sand and Water.
Author's notes: This story is a little filler for A Simple Twist of Fate. It's what I would've liked to have seen happen. This story takes place before It's All In Your Head, where Abby finds out that Brian only gets one- year parole and no jail time for what he did to her. This story has no bearing on upcoming episodes.
Although this is definitely not my first fanfiction, it is my first ER fanfiction, so please be gentle on me. : )
Archive: My website and fanfiction.net, all other's please ask first.
Feedback: Yes, as long as it is constructive criticism. No flames please.
Contact: carterabby2@cs.com
I'd like to thank my beta readers: My mom, Dan and BriarRose. I couldn't have done it without you guys!
************************************************************************
There was a knock at her door. She was afraid. Afraid to answer it after what had happened a couple of days ago when she had opened her door. It almost seemed like dejavu. She was in her pajamas again and it was late. She had a glass of red wine in her hand that she knew she shouldn't have. The only difference was that she was in a hotel room and not her apartment.
She knew it couldn't be him. He couldn't find her, could he? He was supposed to be in jail, right? It couldn't be him.
The knock came again. What was wrong with her? This wasn't like her. She wasn't afraid of anything. Well, that wasn't entirely true. She was afraid of opening up and committing to people, although she would never admit that openly. She was afraid of what her drinking again was leading to. She was afraid of things she would never admit to herself consciously, but she wasn't afraid of things like this. So what the hell was wrong with her?
"Abby, are you in there?"
At hearing the familiar voice, Abby calmed down a great deal. She set her glass of wine down on the nightstand and walked to the door to answer it. She hoped her breath didn't smell of alcohol. When she answered the door, a familiar face greeted her.
"Oh my God," he said. She noted his gasp as he looked at her.
"It looks worse than it really is," Abby said, pointing to the bruise and swelling that had been left on her face after Brian, her next-door neighbor, had beaten her.
"Susan told me what happened and where you were. I would've come sooner, but I wasn't sure that you wanted company right away."
"I'm okay, Carter, really," Abby said, noting the concern in his voice.
"Can I come in?" Carter asked.
"Oh, yeah, sorry," Abby said as she moved out of the way so he could come in. Carter walked in and she closed the door behind him.
He walked over to the one chair in the room that belonged to the lone table in the room. Beyond that there was one queen-sized bed, a nightstand, dresser, refrigerator and the bathroom. It was a normal sized room, nothing special. The walls were white and the carpeting was tan and matched the bedspread.
"You know, you could've stayed longer at Susan's house, she wouldn't have minded, really."
"I know. I just didn't want to impose. I figured two nights were enough," Abby said. Of course deep down inside, Abby knew that her not staying longer at Susan's had nothing to do with imposing.
Abby sat down on the bed. Her hand automatically started to reach for the glass of wine sitting on the nightstand beside her. She realized what she was doing and stopped herself. She looked up at Carter and realized his gaze was on the glass of wine she had been just about to pick up. He then looked up at her. His expression showed shock and some other unreadable emotion.
She didn't know what to say and didn't want to rattle off some false explanation, thus she decided silence was the best way to go. She found herself looking guiltily away from Carter. No one else from work would find her drinking wine strange. No one else from work knew the truth except for Carter.
The silence between them became almost unbearable. They used to be able to have comfortable silences together. Lately they had grown apart from each other and their friendship wasn't exactly the same as it used to be. Abby missed that friendship. She knew that her relationship with Luka, when they had been together, and Carter's current relationship with Susan both had contributed to their diminishing friendship.
She heard Carter get up. She looked up and watched him walk over to the nightstand where her glass of wine was. He picked it up and said, "If you're really okay, then why are you drinking, Abby?"
She was silent once again. What was she supposed to say? Even she didn't know why she was drinking again.
He put the glass back down on the nightstand and sat down next to her on the bed.
"Abby, you have friends who care about you. You should've come to us if you were having trouble dealing with this, instead of turning to alcohol."
'Us? Don't you mean YOU?' Abby thought.
"We haven't exactly been the best of friends lately, Carter," Abby said.
"Look, I know we haven't been talking like we used to and I know there's been some tension between us, but you're still my friend, Abby. I still care about you. I would've been there for you. You didn't have to turn to alcohol. Not when you've been sober for so long."
Abby got up and began to pace. Before she realized what she was saying, the words were out of her mouth. "This isn't what led me to drinking again. I was drinking again before this happened."
"What?" Carter asked, shocked.
Abby stopped dead in her tracks, with her back to Carter. She hadn't wanted to tell him that, it had just slipped out.
"When did you start drinking again?" Carter asked gently.
Abby kept her back toward Carter so that she didn't have to see his expression as she was talking. "On my birthday. It was the day you saw Sobriki again. It was my birthday and no one at work wished me a happy birthday. It ended up being a horrible day in general. I came home from work and my next-door neighbor was sitting on the steps in the lobby of my apartment complex. She found out it was my birthday and offered me a beer out of her six-pack. At first I said no, but then she offered again. It seemed appealing after the day I had had, so I took the beer, okay?"
"It was your birthday that day." Abby could tell it was a statement, not a question. "I'm so sorry."
"It's okay. I understand. You had other things on your mind."
"Abby, why did you really take that beer?" Carter asked.
Abby began pacing again. "I don't know," she said.
"You've been sober for over five years. Why screw that up now?"
"I don't know," Abby said again, with more vehemence.
"Look, Abby, I'm not judging you-"
"Oh, come on, Carter," Abby began as she stopped pacing and faced him, "you told me Anspaugh used that same exact line on you during your intervention."
"I just don't want to see you get hurt, or screw up your life again, that you've worked so hard to get back, by the way."
"It's my life to screw up…it's my problem, not yours," Abby said.
"I pretty much said the same thing to you when I was doing drugs. You sure didn't listen to me and I'm probably alive because of you."
"That was different," Abby said, knowing she was grasping at straws.
"How?" Carter asked.
"It just was, Carter," Abby said in a frustrated tone of voice as she began to pace again. This was not the type of conversation she wanted to be having right now.
"Do you want to go to a meeting right now? I'm sure we can find one."
"No!" Abby said fiercely.
"Abby-"
"Carter, no. I don't want to go, okay? Can we please just drop this subject?"
"No, Abby, I can't drop it just like that. You wouldn't let me drop it when I was going through this. I want to help you, like you helped me."
"Then just drop it."
"Abby-"
"Carter, I mean it. Drop it," Abby said forcibly. She heard Carter audibly sigh.
"Fine, but I'm not dropping this for good by any means, Abby. And I'll only drop it tonight on two conditions."
"And what are those two conditions?" Abby asked tiredly as she sat down on the bed next to Carter.
"That you let me dump out that glass of wine and that you give me the bottle of wine you obviously have."
Although Abby was craving a drink very badly at that moment, she was too tired to fight and the only other alternative was to ask Carter to leave, and she realized at that moment she didn't really want to be alone.
"Fine," Abby said handing Carter the glass of wine. "The bottle of wine is in the refrigerator." She didn't need the wine anyway, she hadn't fallen off the wagon. She was a recovering alcoholic, not an active alcoholic. This whole thing was only temporary, or at least she was trying to convince herself of those things.
She watched as Carter got up, took the glass of wine from the nightstand, walked to the bathroom sink and poured it out, leaving the glass on the sink. Then he walked over to her small refrigerator, took out the bottle of wine, which was lying down on the bottom shelf, rather than standing up, closed the refrigerator and walked back over to the bathroom sink. Once again he poured out the contents of the bottle and then walked back to the bed and sat down next to Abby.
"You know, I paid good money for that bottle of wine," Abby said jokingly.
"Yeah, well, life isn't fair is it?" Carter piped back, joking as well.
They sat in silence for a few moments. "Do you wanna go get some coffee at Doc Macgoo's?" Carter finally asked.
"I don't really feel like going out right now," Abby said, pointing at her bruised face. "There's a coffee maker right over there on the dresser with some coffee. We can just have coffee here if that's okay with you."
"Sure," Carter said.
Abby got up and started the coffee maker and a few moments later they had coffee. She put cream and sugar in their coffee and brought both cups back to the bed. She handed Carter his cup of coffee before sitting back down.
They sat for a few moments in silence. Then something miraculous happened. They began to talk. They talked about everything. They talked for hours. They caught up on old times and lost track of time. They talked until Carter's pager went off. He took his pager from his pocket and checked it.
"It's the hospital. Can I use the phone?"
"Sure," Abby said.
Carter called the hospital. After a moment he finished the conversation and got off the phone. "The ER just got slammed. They need me. I have to go."
"Okay," Abby said, a bit disappointed that he was leaving.
They both got up and walked toward the door. They got to the door and Carter opened it. Before he walked out the door, he turned around.
"Abby, don't screw up your life again. If you feel like having a drink, go to a meeting or call me. You can get through this and whatever led you to start drinking again in the first place. You're strong, Abby."
"I know, Carter, but…it's hard."
"I know it is, Abby. I know. You can do it though…Now don't think I won't be bothering you about this again."
"I know," she said smiling.
Carter grabbed Abby and hugged her. She returned the hug.
"Thanks for coming over, Carter." Abby looked up and found him staring down at her. They held the eye contact silently for what seemed like an eternity to Abby. She found her eyes were drawn to Carter's lips. Suddenly her heart was pounding and her palms were sweaty. As if in slow motion, she watched as Carter leaned down toward her. She closed her eyes. A second later she felt soft lips touching her own. His lips were so sweet and so gentle. She found that her entire body was on fire from just one kiss from him. She couldn't believe he could make her feel that way with just one kiss.
As quickly as the kiss began, it ended and Carter was gone, like a phantom in the night.
Abby closed the door, leaned her back against it and touched her lips with the index finger of her right hand. He had kissed her. As brief as it had been, he had still kissed her. She didn't know what it meant for them, or how she felt about it. She only knew her entire body was tingling from head to toe. She smiled and wondered what the future held in store for them.
The End!