A/N- i really thought I posted this after putting on tumblr but I apparantly didn't so... here ya go
rating: for all audiences little sad
summary: takes place in volume 6 between ch12&13. whilst Yang and Blake travel from the waterfall to their team.
The silence weighs heavily on Yang's mind as they trudge their way through the snow blanketed forest. Yang can feel every fibre of her exhausted and half broken body screaming at her. With every step the frozen ground shocks the aching joints of her knees. Every breath into her lungs burns at her bruised ribs and quivering core muscles. Her shoulders sag as she hunches forward, too weary to keep her upright. The only thing keeping her moving, one foot in front of the other, is the tight grip of another hand in hers.
They haven't spoken since leaving the waterfall and Blake seems to have withdrawn into a trance, deep in her own thoughts. Yang wants to ask her about it, wants to pull her out of it, and she promises she will. But right now they need to get back to the others. They need to get safely on the ship to Atlas before there'll be time to look after Blake properly. But Blake's firm grip on her hand proves she's still there, not completely withdrawn. She's not leaving, even if it is to process what she needs to within her own mind. She's allowing a small part of her to remain with Yang and she's holding onto her with whatever strength she can still muster. And Yang is grateful.
A breeze brushes passed them and Yang fights against the shiver it's pulling from her body. She doesn't need Blake worrying about her being cold on top of everything else. She's just happy Blake's protected from the same discomfort wrapped in Yang's own jacket.
They cross a bridge on the path, the small stream trickling only a few feet below their boots. As they step off the wooden planks that's when she feels the change in Blake. Her hand squeezes hers painfully and Yang is surprised she has that much power left in her. Then the hand is gone and Yang spins to find her with worried eyes now that the physical link has vanished.
Blake's turned back to the stream, gaze zeroed in on the water, ears focused on the sound of it lapping at rocks strewn along its banks. She's shaking.
"Blake," Yang tries, saying her name gently, but she gets no reaction from the other.
Yang steps forward, arm reaching, but isn't sure if touching Blake when she's like this is the right thing to do. She's not here anymore, she's completely withdrawn, her eyes seeing and ears hearing something other than the stream Yang's own take in.
Yang moves to step around her, hoping that being in her line of sight will bring her back but Blake's whole body stiffens giving Yang pause. Amber eyes are pulled from the water to stare at the broken, bloodied weapon in her hand. Yang watches as Blake's hand starts shaking violently and she's worried Blake's going to accidentally hurt herself on the sharp edges of the damaged blade so she steps forward and places a steadying hand over Blake's own. Gently she pries Blake's stiffened fingers from the cold metal. As soon as the link is severed Blake loses whatever strength was keeping her up. She falls to her knees, burying her face in her hands.
Yang follows, not willing to leave Blake alone again, even if it means following her into whatever nightmares are haunting her. She sets Blake's weapon aside and gently brings both of her hands to wrap around each of Blake's wrists gently. Her fingers squeeze the skin and Yang can feel Blake's rapid heartbeat against the fingers of her left hand. She doesn't force Blake to uncover her face, no matter how desperately Yang needs the connection of her eyes to know she's alright. She wants Blake to know she's here, but needs Blake to let her in on her own. It needs to be Blake's decision.
The minutes pass excruciatingly slow but Blake starts responding to Yang's gentle caresses and squeezes against her wrists. Her pulse calms and she finally drops her hands to her lap. She won't meet her eye though, which worries Yang. Instead, she stares at her hands.
"Blake." She whispers it this time, but the sound has an undesirable effect on her.
Blake cries out as a few lone tears fall from her once dry eyes. Her fingers are digging into the packed snow on either side of her. Using the snow she's clawed from the frozen ground, she scrubs harshly at her hands, rubbing furiously. Yang doesn't know what to do, and she's ashamed it takes her so long to realize what Blake is trying to accomplish. There's blood covering her hands and her blades, and it's not her own.
Blake's rubbing the skin on her hands raw, the flesh turning red with anger at the sudden rough ice running abrasively over it. Yang grabs Blake's hands and forces them open to drop the snow still held within them. She sees a few sharp pebbles tumble to the ground as well and is suddenly worried not all the blood is Adam's anymore.
Blake finally meets her eyes and Yang stands, pulling her gently. She allows herself to be led to the edge of the stream and sits on a rock Yang motions to. Yang removes the violet fabric wrapped around her left knee and dips it in the water, clenching her teeth at the icy temperatures.
She returns to Blake, kneeling before her and holds out her hand. Blake leans forward and offers both hers in turn. It's silent again and Yang doesn't know if she should speak to keep Blake from retreating again or if the silence is best for now. She meticulously works at removing every trace of the red liquid from Blake's skin. When she's satisfied she removes the darkened fabric to inspect Blake's skin for any damages she might have caused. Besides the angered flesh, no cuts are visible, but her fingers are freezing. Knowing her own cold skin won't do much to help, she brings Blake's finger's cupped in her own to her mouth. She breathes on them, warming them slightly with the only heat her body has left to give. She repeats the process until Blake's hands feel warm in hers.
"I'll be right back." Blake nods.
Retrieving Blake's broken blade she returns to the stream and works just as meticulously at cleaning it as she did Blake's skin. When she's finally satisfied her hand is num.
"Are you okay?" Yang asks, kneeling again and placing both hands on Blake's knees. This time Blake does react. She reaches for Yang's hands and pulls them closer, resting on her thighs, kept there by her own strong hold. The frozen temperature of Yang's metal and flesh doesn't seem to bother her. Yang dips her head and catches Blake's eye and latches onto the connection like a lifeline, rubbing her thumbs along the back of Blake's hands as she smiles gently up at her.
"I think-" the gravelled voice makes Blake pause, clearing her throat before she continues. "I think I will be." She falters. Her mouth closes, then opens and repeats the process once more. "I just. I never wanted him to die. I know it was either him or us. He didn't give us a choice. But as much as he's done... I just didn't want him to die. I-" she stops again and takes the time to squeeze Yang's hands reassuringly. She's taking time to reassure Yang incase she's upset at her words. It makes Yang want to cry all over again. "He never gave me a choice."
"It's okay," Yang breathes gently.
"But it's not." Blake says louder. "What he did to you," her thumb runs along the metal of your left hand. "I should have wanted him dead. I should have-" her hands drop Yang's and form angry fists. "I shouldn't feel bad about him dying when he was trying to kill me." Blake's eyes soften at her next words, "when he was trying to kill you. And I'm sorry, you shouldn't have to-"
"I'm not doing anything I don't want to do." Yang says determined. She places her hands to surround each of Blake's fists, waiting for her to unfurl them before wrapping them in hers once more. She needs Blake to understand. "He was a large part of your past, I get that. And I didn't want to kill him either. He gave us no choice, and I would do it again if it meant we both came out alive."
"Me too."
"And that's all I need to hear." Yang smiles, hoping it's reassuring. "You can mourn, you're allowed to do that. And I'll be here to help you through it if you need. You don't have to go through this alone. I'm here for you Blake."
She keeps Yang's gaze, looking between her violet, searching for any signs she might not believe her own words. She finds none.
"Okay," her voice is soft but she nods her head with conviction.
"And I know you need to work through this, just try not to shut me out completely when you do, okay? I want to be there for you."
"I won't." She shakes her head, as if shaking the very thought from her mind.
Yang stands, pulling Blake up with her. "Are you good now? We should really get back to the others."
"Yeah, I'm good. Thanks Yang."
"Anytime."
Blake steps forward and surprises Yang when she lifts her chin to capture her lips in her own. Blake pulls back a second later but Yang's mind has finally caught up and she presses forward, connecting soft lips with hers once more.
When Yang pulls back she's met with a small smile and a pair of golden eyes looking back at her. The look, the smile and the kiss all portray the same things.
They're soft and gentle and full of promises.
Blake takes a step away, guiding Yang away from the stream, having her turn to lead them.
Yang pauses.
"One more thing." She steps up to the water's edge, tossing the darkened purple fabric into its chilled depths. She doesn't need the reminder of Adam in the stains that will be left on it. He's left enough stains on them both, stains that only time will be able to fully wash away.
She feels Blake's hand in her own and they both turn, moving forward, together, into whatever new life is waiting for them. If Yang only knows one thing it's that Blake will be at her side the entire journey, and she vows to be at hers