Say Goodnight.
Legal Stuff:-Not mine, never was and never will be unfortunately: If CSI: NY was mine then this is exactly how I would end the show."Say Goodnight" belongs to Beth Neilson-Chapman and can be found on the Providence Soundtrack.
A/N: - Once again we find ourselves wondering what the future holds for CSI: NY don't we? After picking up a few minor spoilers around the web this is what I wish would happen if this is to be the last hoorah for Mac and his team. Keep your fingers crossed folks you never can tell.
"Say goodnight not good-bye, you will never leave my heart behind, like the path of a star
I'll be anywhere you are..."
Is this it Mac Taylor wonders is this what it feels like to die? Is this what Claire felt in those last few fleeting moments when the twin towers fell and she realized that her life was ending? Mac had spent many, many long dark hours since that day wondering. Had she been afraid? Had she called out his name? When that white hot heat had touched her skin in that instant had she resigned herself to her fate and in doing so found her peace? It hadn't mattered how hard he'd tried because Mac had never gotten his answers and he knew he never would not until now of course, not until the moment of his own death. Funny he hadn't even realized he'd been hit at first the bullet that had slammed into his body had been of no more significance than a paper cut or a stubbed toe. It had only really registered that something was dreadfully wrong when he had heard the horrified shouts of his friends and colleagues, Jo frantically yelling for an ambulance, staring at him wide eyed her hands stained with dark red blood and Flack begging him to hold on as he pounded on his chest trying CPR . Then the pain had begun, red hot pain that seemed to burn straight into his soul burning ever brighter till he was consumed whole by it and whatever, whoever Mac Taylor had once been was no more and he found himself standing here mist swirling all around him like something straight out of a bad Soap opera just waiting, waiting for her to come.
"Hello Mac" Claire smiled that smile of hers, the one that always drove him crazy as she appeared just like magic right in front of him and hey presto somehow they are back in their old apartment just like always.
"Hello sweetheart" He greets her tenderly, she looks just like he remembers her that unruly red hair of hers is flowing over her shoulders, her blue are eyes sparkling with pure mischief and that darn smile is plastered all over her lovely face "I've been waiting for you."
"Yes I know" She nods barely a hair's breadth from him now.
"I've missed you so much Claire" He reaches out to touch her hair.
"I know that too" She touched his hand to her lips and kisses it "I've missed you too."
"Is this my time? Have you come for me?" He wants to know.
"That isn't my decision to make Mac it's yours" She tells him truthfully.
"I don't understand..." Mac's hand drops forlornly to his side "What do you mean I'm dying aren't I?"
"Are you" Her answer is ambiguous to say the least.
"Well it sure as hell feels like it" He huffs.
"It's good to see some things never change, you never did like losing an argument did you Mac?" Claire chuckles.
"I wasn't aware we were arguing" He groans "Am I or am I not dead?"
"Not 'we' you Mac" Claire grins "I already told you..."
"It's my decision to make we already did that part" He interrupts.
"So what's it to be?" Claire rubbed her hands together "What do you want to happen next Mac, deep inside what does your heart tell you?"
"I loved you Claire you know that, nothing can or ever will change that" He insists.
"Your still refusing to give me a straight answer, Mac what is it you really want" She tried again "Do you want to stay here with me or to go back."
"I don't...I don't know" He replies.
"Yes you do Mac" Claire shakes her head in frustration.
"To be with you then" He shrugs.
"My darling you always were a terrible liar if that was true we wouldn't be having this conversation, something is keeping you from being with me and you need to admit the truth. Mac tell me why you want to go back so badly, deep down you know why you are still hanging on to life with every bit of strength you posses and I need to hear you say it...we both do don't we. What is it that gets you out of bed in the morning?" She demands to know without hesitation "I know it's not your work even though you like to pretend it is and it's not your friends either not Flack or Danny or even adorable little Lucy no matter how much they would miss you or you would miss them. What do you have to live for Mac or should that really be who?"
"I can't...please don't ask me that Claire" He shakes his head furiously "I can't lose you again..."
"Mac you couldn't if you tried I've always been here and I always will be but our time together will always be a thing of the past, a happy memory that's all it can ever be and there is nothing anyone can do about that it's just the way of things so say it, say her name it's ok" Claire stroked his cheek tenderly "There is nothing to be scared of sweetheart I promise."
"Stella..." He tells her, his voice quivering "I don't want to leave Stella."
Smiling again Claire wraps her arms around him "See that wasn't so tough...go to her Mac go on" She kisses him tenderly "She's waiting for you."
"Please don't leave me Mac" As if on cue Stella's voice drifts in from nowhere and everywhere all at once "I couldn't bear it."
"You know I would never leave you Stella" Mac yells back as loud as he can.
"See" Claire tells him happily "It's time to choose Mac once and for all to die for me or to live for Stella."
"I can't do that Claire, I can't choose...I'm not ready" He hugs her tightly but for some reason she seems to be fading away again "I ...Oh Claire...I would never..."
"Hush..." She places a finger on his lips but her voice sounds so far away now "You already have made your choice Mac a long time ago and you know what? It's alright Mac, everything is always alright we both know it's time for you to let go of me, to say goodbye..."
"I don't know if I can" He mumbles tearfully.
"Then just say goodnight..." He can't see her or their apartment now at all and her voice is just a distant whisper "... Just say goodnight."
"Goodnight...goodnight Claire and thank you" He says to nothing and no-one then he turns around and heads off towards a small pinprick of light in the distance, the further he walks the greater the light becomes until he finds himself dazzled by it and it envelops him once more only this time he finds himself waking up in a hospital attached to all manner of tubes and machinery.
Next to his bed is a chair and curled up in that chair is a curly haired woman, who looks like she hasn't stopped crying for a week or slept even longer she is holding his hand tightly as if her own life depends on it "Stella" He tries to say but the breathing apparatus he's attached to prevents him speaking even so she is aware of his presence.
"Doctor...Doctor he's awake, Mac's awake" Stella yells out excitedly pressing the emergency response button "Thank god he's awake."
Six weeks later...
"Mac are you really sure you're up to this" Stella asked as they wandered arm in arm through the Greyshot Arch into Central Park on a beautiful New York Summer's evening.
"It's a gentle after dinner stroll through the park not the New York Marathon Stel" Mac teased "After all that time in Hospital I think I've earned time off for good behaviour."
"I know it's just I...we all thought we'd lost you back there" She shuddered her blood running cold just thinking about it, if she'd lost him well they might as well have taken her out back and shot her too Stella wouldn't have wanted to live anyway "We don't want you to take any unnecessary risks we worry about you that's all."
"Oh 'we' don't do we?" Mac grinned "You took a census?"
"Ok then Detective Smarty-pants I...I worry about you happy now" Stella rolled her eyes as Mac led her to a secluded bench and they sat down together.
"Deliriously" He chuckled as she snuggled into him "And just for the record I worry about you too all the time."
"In that case I suppose you're forgiven" Stella conceded staring up at the moon and stars shining brightly above them "It really is beautiful out there tonight."
"Trust me Stella from where I'm sitting the view is way, way better down here" Mac kissed her curls gently.
"Mac that is so corny" Stella groaned but blushed anyway "You are sure though nothing is wrong."
"Nope everything is pretty damn good actually" He chuckled enjoying the sensation of holding Stella close to him.
"It's just you seem well different..." Stella begins "More alive somehow, like..."
"Like the old Mac you mean before 9/11" He finishes quietly.
"Something like that yeah" She replies almost shyly.
"I saw her Stel, I saw Claire when I was unconscious and I finally got to say Goodnight" Mac explains "I know, I know I'm a scientist and my head tells me that there are other explanations I was hallucinating, that it was the drugs but my heart well my heart knows better but I understand if you think I'm slightly crazy."
"Mac your heart is good enough for me always" Stella assured him kissing his cheek "But don't you mean goodbye?"
"Nope defiantly Goodnight and I have a gift for you" Mac announced "To thank you."
"There is nothing to thank me for" Stella was confused "Absolutely nothing."
"Yes there is Stel, for being there when I woke up in the hospital you have no idea how much that means to me" He explained "For being my best friend, for being my shoulder to cry on, my confidant, my conscience, my nurse, my therapist and for generally kicking me up the ass when I have needed it every day for the past ten years and for abandoning your life in New Orleans and spending every single minute you could with me in the last six weeks and for giving me a reason to live all this time even if I was to scared or dumb to admit it...thank you doesn't even come close to how I feel so these are for you" From his pant's pocket he produced two airplane tickets and passed them to her.
"Thessaloniki, Greece" Stella read out loud stunned.
"Every since Professor P died you have been talking about going back, about trying to find your mom's family haven't you" He pointed out.
"I guess I have been meaning to...but I suppose I've been too scared of what I might find out" She confessed "So I just kept putting it of till next month or the next."
"I've had a lot of time to think about things recently and it may be a cliché but it's still true what they say life is far too short to have regrets you should never put the important things off because you might never have that chance again" He advised her "It's time we both made some important decisions. No more holding back starting with this."
"Seize the day" Stella agreed.
"Exactly" He smiled.
"I notice that there is a ticket with your name on here too Mac" Stella asked coyly.
"I was hoping you might want some company" He said softly "I was thinking of taking a sabbatical maybe I could come along and carry your bags or something."
"Mac Taylor are you asking me to run away to Greece with you" Stella asked drawing him near.
"That was the general idea my love" He sighed happily "And I should have told you that helluva long time ago I love you Stella..."
"We both should have I love you too Mac" She breathed back as their lips touched.
"I'll take that as a yes then" Mac mumbled as their first, long, passionate kiss began.
Six months later...
"Is everybody ready" Don Flack asked the team who with the exception of Mac and Stella were sitting around a table in one of Manhattan's most upmarket bars each cradling a glass of champagne "Then ladies and gentlemen please be upstanding."
"Anyone else here feel an overwhelming urge to call for back up or to take cover" Danny joked as they all got to their feet.
"Danny" The entire group groaned in unison.
"Hey it's not like we never had anything like that happen to us before now is it" Danny pointed out.
"Danny shut up" Lindsey rolled her eyes and elbowed her husband in the chest.
"Ouch Linds" He grumbled.
"Flack maybe you should start now" Jo suggested.
Obediently Flack cleared his throat and began "We all know why we are here since we all got the same message this morning" He nodded towards a picture sitting in the centre of the table of a obviously deliriously happy newlywed couple standing on a sun kissed Grecian beach somewhere grinning like two Cheshire cats "Therefore ladies and gentlemen and Messer please raise your glasses and toast the brand spanking new Mr and Mrs Macanna Boyd Taylor Junior."
"To a long and happy lifetime together" Hawkes added.
"To not a nanosecond to soon" Lindsey giggled.
"To one hell of a party when they finally get their butts back here" Chuckled Danny.
"To days filled with laughter and nights full of passion" Sid contributed.
"To a peaceful, loving home always" Adam commented.
"To Mac and Stella" Jo finished off.
"To Mac and Stella" They chorused.
"You are everything you want to be, so just let your heart reach out to me, I'll be right by your side, Say goodnight not good-bye."
Finis.
A/N: - It's a personal bug bear of mine that we never found out more about Stella's past and one huge missed opportunity by TPTB to have produced a truly outstanding season 6 and beyond in my humble opinion but then again what else is new. So I decided that I would have Mac and Stella go back to Greece at least off screen if nothing else plus I decided to leave the question of who gives up what and who moves where to whoever so reads this story since we all have our own ideas on that subject don't we and as long as Mac and Stella got their (very much deserved) happy ever after it's all good anyway. Please let me know what you think all feedback gratefully accepted as always.