All Couples Have Rows
The Doctor disappears for a couple of days after a heated row with Rose. Tentoo x Rose
This was prompted by and written for the lovely sequencefairy over on Tumblr.
Jackie set a tray of tea and biscuits on the coffee table before sliding onto the sofa beside her daughter and wrapping her arms around her; she rocked them from side to side as though Rose were five again rather than twenty-five.
Rose tapped her mobile anxiously against her thigh, before unlocking it, and dialing a number she knew by heart. She brought the phone to her ear, biting the cuticle of her thumb as she listened to it ringing
An automated answering service finally told her to leave a message, and Rose hung up, sighing and frustration. This was the eighteenth time she'd tried to call him but couldn't get through. He'd ignored all twenty text messages too.
"He'll turn up, love," Jackie soothed, brushing her daughter's hair out of her face. "Just you wait."
Rose sniffled, trying to swallow the lump in her throat.
"What if he doesn't, Mum?" she whispered raggedly. "I said some really awful things to him. What if he never comes back? Or what if he's hurt, or lost, or has been taken by someone, or…"
A hysterical sob bubbled out of her throat and she covered her mouth, her face crumpling.
"I need him, Mum," Rose whimpered. "I need him to come back."
Jackie held Rose as she cried, her heart breaking for her daughter.
This wasn't the first time she'd had to comfort Rose at the expense of the Doctor, but it was the first time since this new Doctor had come back with them five months ago. They'd seemed to be adjusting well, until two days ago when she'd gotten a frantic phone call from Rose asking if she'd seen the Doctor.
"I can't find him anywhere, Mum, and he's not answering his phone!" Rose had cried.
Jackie finally pulled the whole story from Rose eventually: they'd apparently gotten into a huge fight, in which hurtful words were thrown by both parties. The punishing blow had been delivered by Rose when she'd accused him of not being the real Doctor and that he was just a poor imitation of the man she loved.
His face had crumpled for just a moment before he composed himself into the stony mask Rose was all too familiar with, and had silently left the flat, not raising his voice or slamming any doors. Rose realized she'd gone too far, but by the time what she'd actually said sank in, followed by the crushing guilt and regret, the Doctor was already long gone.
That had happened two days ago, and since then, Rose had been staying at her parent's home, hoping to get in contact with the Doctor but to no avail.
Jackie sighed in sympathy and pressed her lips to Rose's temple, trying to offer what little comfort she could.
Both she and Pete had attempted to phone the Doctor, having as much luck as her daughter. When the Doctor came back (and Jackie was beyond confident he would), he was getting it handed to him for scaring them like this, for putting her daughter in this state.
"What if he never comes back?" Rose whimpered. "What if he doesn't want me anymore? What if he's just chosen to walk away and not look back? What if he doesn't forgive me? What if…"
"Now that's enough," Jackie said sharply, tugging on Rose's shoulders to look her in the eye. "He just needed a breather, that's all. Lord knows your father and I have had rows that landed one of us on the couch or in a hotel for a few nights. You said some pretty nasty things to him, Rose; he just needs a bit of time to lick his wounds and come to terms with things."
Rose swiped at her eyes.
"I didn't mean it," she mumbled, fiddling with the sleeve of her sweater. "I didn't."
Jackie kissed Rose's forehead and said gently, "I'm not the one that needs the apology, sweetheart."
Rose sighed and leaned back against the sofa.
"I'm going to go back to my flat," Rose said, standing abruptly and stretching her stiff muscles. "I want to be there if he decides to come back. Will you call me if you hear something?"
"Of course, love," Jackie replied. "Just give it time, Rose. He'll be back. He never could leave you alone for long, daft alien."
Rose let out a watery chuckle, embracing her mother tightly in gratitude before walking out of the mansion and to her car.
As she made the fifteen-minute drive to her flat, Rose replayed every minute of their argument, every spiteful word she'd said to him and he to her. It had been an all-out domestic row. Maybe that's why he'd done a runner? Maybe he didn't realize what life on the slow path entailed: that for all the good, there were helpings of bad sprinkled in, and maybe he wanted to go it alone?
Rose quickly shook herself from that train of thought, as it only made her more upset and anxious. Instead, she thought of everything she wanted (needed) to tell him as soon as she saw him again.
She finally arrived at her flat, utterly knackered from this ordeal. But she knew she wouldn't be able to sleep until she knew that was Doctor was okay.
She collapsed onto the two-person sofa and closed her exhausted, heavy eyes. Before she knew it, she'd drifted into a dreamless slumber.
An odd buzzing noise roused her nearly an hour later. Still drowsy from her unintended nap, Rose was sure she'd dreamt the noise, until her phone beeped. Snapping wide awake, she fumbled through all of her pockets, frantically searching for her mobile. She finally spotted it on the floor, and snatched it up.
One missed call.
Her heart leapt into her throat as she saw the Doctor's name on her screen.
She quickly hit redial, but was met with his answering system instantly. He'd turned his phone off.
Muttering curses, she tossed her phone onto the coffee table and buried her face into her hands.
Why had he called her? Why hadn't he left a message? Why was his phone now off? Had he called to end things, to tell her he was half way around the world and not coming back? Had he called to tell her he was on his way home?
These thoughts and more raced through Rose's mind on replay. She was just about to try him again when she heard a key slip into the lock. Her heart caught in her throat, and she raced to the doorway, flinging it open.
The Doctor was standing there, looking a little worse for wear, but wholly unharmed. Rose flung herself at him, wrapping her arms around his neck and burying her face into his collarbone. Several days' worth of stubble scraped at her cheek, and he smelled like sweat, but she didn't care. He came back.
She felt the tears burning in her eyes, but they overflowed when she felt him exhale softly and wrap his arms tightly around her, burying his nose in her hair. The Doctor rocked them slowly from side to side. The realization that he was comforting her, after everything she'd said, made Rose sob into his shoulder.
Finally noticing that they were still partially outside, she reluctantly pulled back to usher him inside. His eyes were shiny and rimmed red, and dark bags had taken up residence under them. She guessed she didn't look much better.
Rose led him to the sitting room, sitting down on the coffee table in front of where he perched on the edge of the sofa. The Doctor opened his mouth to say something, but Rose held up her hand to stop him.
"Before you say anything, I just want to tell you how sorry I am for everything I said," she said, willing the tears back. She didn't want to guilt him into forgiving her. "None of it was true; I don't know why I said those things. I suppose I just wanted you to feel as badly as I'd been feeling, but you didn't deserve that. And I am so, so sorry. I can understand if you don't believe me, or if you don't forgive me, but I just needed you to know."
The Doctor regarded her for a few silent moments before asking, "Want to know what I'd been doing all weekend? Where I was?"
Rose blinked in confusion at the non sequitur, and was about to yell at him for not answering her calls, but she tamped that down, not wanting to start yet another fight. Instead, she nodded.
The Doctor took a breath and scraped his fingers through his hair, mussing it more than it already was.
"I was at Torchwood, mostly," he said, his hands falling limply into his lap.
Rose furrowed her eyebrows.
"But we checked there," she said. "You weren't in your office."
The Doctor gave a small, grim smile and said, "Well, that would be because I wasn't in my office. I was in yours."
"Mine?" Rose asked, startled. "Why mine?"
The Doctor dropped his head to look at his tightly clasped hands.
"Yours had all of the information on the Dimension Cannon," he said quietly.
Rose's breath got stuck in her throat and she felt the blood rush from her face. She felt dizzy and nauseated. This was it; this was where he told her he was leaving her…
"I got it working again, I think," he said, still looking at his fingers. "I hardwired the TARDIS coral into the infrastructure. That should help. If you want…"
The Doctor's voice choked off and his fingers were twined together so tightly that his knuckles were white.
Rose was confused.
She reached out tentatively and touched her fingers gently to the back of his hands. He stiffened and withdrew his hands from her touch. She tried to ignore how much that stung.
"I don't understand, Doctor," she whispered, crossing her arms around her torso.
"Don't call me that if you don't believe that," he said sharply, his hands clenched into fists.
Tears threatened to overflow again as she said, "But you are. You're the Doctor. You're my Doctor. You always have been and always will be."
The Doctor let out a cold laugh filled with malice.
"After everything you said, you think I believe that? Don't you think I don't know I'm not the proper Doctor? Don't you think I've struggled with being here, too?" he asked harshly, looking up to glare at her. "Don't you think it's been hard for me, in this brand new body that's only got one heart and rubbish bodily systems? I get cold, really properly cold! I can get drunk! I have to be in the loo every few hours! I have to actually sleep! I–"
The Doctor was breathing heavily by this point, but all the fight seemed to suddenly go out of him. He sighed and dropped his head to stare at his hands again.
"So you were right," he whispered. "I'm not the Doctor. Not the Doctor you remember, or the Doctor you were looking for. But I can fix that for you. It's one last thing I can do for you. As I said, the Dimension Cannon is up and running, ready to make one more trip. I can send you back to him. You can finally be with the Doctor you've wanted all along."
Rose's breath seemed to leave her body, leaving her feeling weightless. He'd been working all weekend just so that she could go back to their original universe. He was letting her go.
Tears stung at her eyes but she brushed them impatiently away as she moved to sit next to the Doctor on the sofa. She slowly wrapped her arms around his waist. He tensed and leaned away from her touch.
"Rose," he pleaded. "Please don't. This is hard enough as it is."
She tightened her hold around him and pressed her cheek against his shoulder.
"I don't want to go back," she told him softly. "Not now, not ever."
"I – I don't understand," the Doctor murmured.
His muscles unclenched and he let Rose lean against him.
"I don't want to go back," she repeated. "I don't want the other Doctor. I want the Doctor who stayed behind with me, who gave up everything for me, who gave me the words I'd ached to hear. I want the Doctor who gave me a choice. That's the Doctor I want, and that's you. I once promised you forever, and now I can actually give it to you. I made my choice a long time ago, Doctor, and I'm never going to leave you. I love you."
The Doctor trembled in her arms. She pulled him more tightly against her, and he buried his face into her neck, clutching at her as though his life depended on it. She heard a strangled sob escape him and hot tears dampened her neck. Her own tears fell down her cheeks as she gently massaged her fingers across his back and into his hair.
"I'm sorry," she whispered into his ear. "I'm so sorry. I love you. I'm sorry."
She repeated this mantra over and over again, willing him to believe her and to forgive her. His tears finally dried up and he pulled away.
"I'm sorry for everything I said to you, too," he said, rubbing the heel of his hand into his puffy eyes. "I don't feel trapped here, and I don't want to escape on the TARDIS as soon as she's grown. You're the only thing I want out of this life, and I'm so sorry I ever said otherwise."
Rose pressed her lips lightly to his shoulder in forgiveness before resting her head against him again. The Doctor hummed contentedly and relaxed back against the couch. It had been a long weekend, and he was so tired.
"Never thought you'd end up like this, eh?" Rose asked softly. "Human, on the slow path, having a domestic row?"
The Doctor chuckled and pulled Rose tighter against him. She curled into his side, her knees pulled up to her chest and her arm wrapped around his waist. She nestled her head into the juncture where his neck met his shoulder and smiled when she felt his lips pressed against her hair.
"Not quite," he admitted. "And I never want to have a row like that again…"
"If you'd answered your phone after the first dozen calls I left, it wouldn't have lasted as long as it did," she chided, burrowing closer to hear the single, steady rhythm of his heart under her ear.
The Doctor smiled sheepishly into her hair.
"Yeah, sorry about that," he said. "I threw my phone into a random desk drawer and didn't look at it until I realized it had been nearly forty-eight hours since I'd left the flat. I called you back as soon as I could, but my phone died before I could leave a message. Rubbish human technology, not staying charged for more than a few days."
"I was so worried," Rose murmured. "I stayed at Mum's. We didn't know where you were, or if you were all right, or if you were coming back. Wouldn't've blamed you for leaving."
"I am never, ever, leaving you," he promised vehemently. "Never. I'll always come back for you. Where else would I go?"
Rose snorted deprecatingly.
"Anywhere," she said. "You could go anywhere you like, on Earth or in the universe."
"Yeah, but without you?" he countered. "That's a bit rubbish, isn't it?"
Rose's heart swelled with warmth and love. She felt so content nestled in his arms that she felt her eyes growing heavier.
She was just about to nod off when the Doctor mumbled drowsily, "Dunno about you, but I'm completely knackered."
Rose giggled and breathed him in deeply. He was still wearing the same clothes from two days ago, and he was starting to smell, but there was nowhere else she'd rather be than in his arms. So she closed her eyes and welcomed the impending sleep.
They still had a ways to go, and other issues to sort through, but that could wait. They'd gotten through the initial step of apologies and the beginnings of forgiveness, and that was enough for one night.
Rose knew they'd be all right, eventually. They were always okay, and would continue to be okay. They'd be more than okay, they'd be fantastic.