A blue Suburban driven by one Jake Morgendorffer carried his two children: daughter Quinn and son Benjamin. Jake was dressed in a Sheriff's tan and dark brown ensemble, complete with a Stetson hat emblazoned with a Sheriff's badge laying on the dashboard. His bark brown hair was shaped to those hats. Not that anything could obscure his nearly lantern jaw and blue eyes. Quinn had her signature pink, skin-tight, nearly-form-revealing shirt and blue jeans. Her orangish-red, shoulder-length hair framed her blue-eyed, barely-there-freckled, fair complexioned face. Ben had a dark tan shirt, black jean shorts, heavy boots, and a dark green outer jacket with Lawndale County Deputy shield badges on the shoulders. His genetics put his hair dark like Jake's, but still a shade of red. But Ben's green eyes and rounded features set him apart from the other occupants of the vehicle.

I stared through my round-cornered glasses at the passing scenery whizzing by the passenger window in a blur, "Tell me again, dad. Why did we move here?"

"Your mother got a job offer here that beat out any other offer she'd ever seen." Dad easily passed another vehicle, "Think of this as an opportunity. You get to start over... again. Make new friends. That kind of thing!"

My hand went to the radio to turn up the volume, "Sorry, can't hear you over the radio!"

As we turned into the circle in front of Lawndale High, Dad kept trying, "Don't be upset if it takes the other kids time to get used to you. You'll make friends."

He hadn't totally stopped the car as Quinn hopped out with, "Bye dad, gotta go."

"I wish she wouldn't do that..."

I deadpanned, "I'll do what I can to help her through this difficult period of adjustment."

"That's my boy..." Dad started, but before he could complete his realization, I had already closed the door. The man shook his head, "Dammit."

Quinn was immediately assailed by various vapid beings after any sort of attention or someone to latch onto. One of the males tried to ask her out, while two of the girls managed to strike up a conversation about her fashion prowess.

Sandi Griffin with her nasal voice, spied me exiting the car Quinn has just left, "Good Gahd. That, is the wurst fashion disaster I've ever seen."

Sis impishly shifted her eyes, "He's adopted."

However decent I may have looked, I repelled nearly everyone in sight with the expression of being annoyed, leaving me to walk into school alone. I liked solitude a little more than most. But damn if it wasn't for that, how would I have time to read or squeeze off a few rounds at the range?

We went to the offices of Principal Li: a short, Asian man who practically reeked of a hyperactive suspicious nature, "Ah, you must be the Morgendorffers. I'm Andrew Li. You're Quinn and... Benjamin, isn't it?" He didn't bother getting up from his chair behind the mahogany desk to shake our hands.

My ever present poker face refused to reveal a reaction, but my voice betrayed me, "That's us."

"Welcome to Laaaawwwndale High. May your time here be productive."

Quinn shifted her eyes here and there, "Um, I kind of need to use the ladies' room. I'll just be-"

The Asian principal lifted his hand, "We'll stop by there first on our tour. Shall we?"

Rounding out our brief tour, Mr. Li stopped the party at the school counselor's office, "As per our placement requirements, you'll both have to take a brief psychological exam from Ms. Manson."

"But I-" Quinn panicked.

Mr. Li casually stated, "There's no grading."

"Oh." She visibly relaxed, going to open the door.

By now, Mr. Li had already left us to our own devices. I glimpsed around, "Guy's like a ninja."

Quinn swiveled her gaze to me, "A what?"

I sighed, "Never mind. Let's get this over with so we can start school."

Eventually we were seated at a table opposite an older, brunette woman with reading glasses perched on her nose like an ancient school master. She lifted a large card with a silhouette of a man and a woman, "Quinn, what do you see here?"

The girl tilted her head and touched her fingertip to her chin in thought, "Two people talking."

The counselor nodded, "Mmm-hmm and what are they talking about?"

Quinn proceeded with some nonsense about her berating him over their last date. Apparently he didn't get the right gift, failed to pick an expensive enough restaurant, and then had left her behind to find her own ride home.

I tried to tune out her explanation, only barely succeeding.

Ms. Manson- I must be the only one thinking "Charles" when I hear that surname -turned to me, "What do you see, Ted?"

"It's Ben."

"Uh, oh. Ben. Well, what do you see here, Ted?"

I resorted to my nuclear arsenal with gusto, "A herd of beautiful, wild ponies running free across the plains."

She was annoyed by my answer and glowered at me as best she could, "No, that's another test, dear."

Quinn had a little bit of fear mixed in with her annoyance at me. Not that I let her know I had even seen her reaction.

"Looks like an inkblot test to me. First thing to come to mind, right?" I shrugged.

Ms. Manson's eyes narrowd and her mouth pulled inwards ever so slightly, "That's another test. This one is just two people talking and you telling me what they are conversing about."

Nukes are touchy, but they're so encompassing you don't need to really aim them, "Okay, they're two people talking-" The counselor relaxed a little before hearing the rest, "-about a herd of beautiful, wild ponies running free across the plains."

I caught a glimpse of her teeth as she clenched her jaw. I couldn't help a barely noticeable smile that crept onto my face.

Dad, Quinn, and my emotionally tired butt sat around our cozy dinner table, while mom had the telephone glued to her head. We haven't opted for one of those cordless deals yet. With Quinn here, I doubt we would ever see the poor thing again.

Mom was easy to overhear with nobody else talking, for once, "Hang on, Eric. I have another call." Beep, "Hello? Yes, this is Helen Morgendorffer. What? Yes, those are my children. Where are you goi-. Oh, is this something my assistant could handle? Oh. Okay. Yes, I see. Thank you, Mr. Principal." Beep, "Eric? I'll call you in the morning. Yes, jet lag and all that. Bye." Beep.

She walked over to the table to join us in our new ritual of no-longer-frozen lasagna, "You kids took a psych test at school?" I detected the merest hint of surprise in her voice.

Quinn had a look more of surprise than that of panic, "We weren't supposed to be graded!"

I looked back at mom, who instead looked in my direction and said, "Ben, it seems you'll have to take a special class."

Sis pointed at me and exclaimed, "YOU flunked the test!?"

Mom nearly glared at Quinn, "No he didn't. Neither did you, hon." Turning back to gaze at me she continued, "Apparently you have low self-esteem." She started a rant about esteem and what-not, nothing I'd ever heard back in Highland.

I audibly took a breath and her rant ceased, "I don't have low self-esteem." There was no hiding my amusement, it wanted out, "I just have low esteem for everyone else."

Mom and Quinn didn't mirror my mood, but they kept quiet.

Dad on the other hand, put down the paper he had been avoiding us all with, "Son, just promise me you'll try to make one, DECENT friend here?" He nearly yelled the word 'decent' and why not? He had a good point.

Beavis and Butthead were not decent people, but they breathed. If you can call them humans without enraging the masses, good luck. I couldn't talk to them on an intellectual level, but they did things. Sometimes horrible things, but something was preferable to nothing in my book. Speaking of my book, good night.