Hey, hey, hey. I'm back BABY.
Okay so I will be updating my story 'The Story Of Isabella Swan' soon. Maybe in the next few days if not tomorrow.
Alright so first let me give out a fair warning.
WARNING THIS STORY DEALS WITH CHEATING AND LIES CRUSHING ALL THE LOVE THAT IS TWILIGHT.
There it is, all underlined and shit but, because I believe in love (sorta) there will be an HEA. Let the record show that I personally hate cheating but, this little plot bunny wouldn't go away. So it is with great honor and slight anger that I bring you this story.
Read On! Or don't...your choice *shrugs*
I'll see you at the bottom!
When I was little, I believed yellow was a sign of hope.
It didn't matter that papa came home late or that mama was never home at all. It didn't matter that Rose—at only twelve—cooked dinner every night. Or that hushed whispers could never fully stop Alice's tears. I'd sit in the corner—by her bed—and stare at mama's yellow flower painted walls—the one's she painted by herself. She thought yellow was hope too.
But yellow walls and false beliefs didn't save her marriage. They didn't stop the harsh words and bruises. They didn't stop the clear liquid or the dirty needle she used. They didn't stop our tears. They didn't stop the hurt. Yellow wasn't hope at all. Yellow was burning torture and regrets. Yellow was hatred and self-pity. Yellow was Rose every time dad didn't come home till morning. Yellow was Alice when the nightmares plagued her. Yellow was my parents and everything that went wrong with them. Yellow was me. Yellow was our life.
I knew that now.
"What do you think?" Rose said looking in the floor length mirror and smoothing down her dress. "Too much?"
"You look," I paused trying to find the right words even though I knew there was none. "You look beautiful."
"You think?" She asked turning to face me.
"I know." I said with tears. "Edward's a very lucky man."
"Dammit Bella, you promised me you wouldn't cry." She said wiping away her own tears.
"Are you sure you want to do this?" I asked crying harder unable to stop the tears.
"Of course." Lie. "Why wouldn't I?"
"Rose…" I trailed.
"Help me put my veil on?" She said picking up the sheer fabric. A family heirloom.
"Okay." I whisper placing it on her head.
I step backing giving her a glance over and for a split second, all I can see is our mother. The women who baked cookies. The women who tucked us in and read us Cinderella until she had it memorized. The women who believed in yellow. A women who no longer exist.
"Alice would have loved this." She whispered and suddenly were a mess of snot and tears until she knocks.
"It's time." She says.
I walk down first—the only one to represent my sister on her day besides my father. Once I reach the end of the isle I turn and stand on the left of the preacher. It isn't long before the wedding march plays, only, to my ears it sounds more like the death march. Everyone—Edward's family—stands for her as she floats down the isle—arms looped with my father. She looks beautiful. An air of poise and grace. The perfect trophy wife to pay off my mother's debt.
My sister is yellow.
Her husband is red.
My father is blue.
Edward Sr. is green.
And this whole fucking room represents a rainbow of all our secrets.
A year ago before the wedding….
"Mary Alice Swan! Get down here right now!" Rose shouts.
I look up from the book I'm reading at her screams. Rose never uses our full names…and she most certainly never screams at Alice.
"What?" Alice says descending down the stairs. Believe it or not Alice used to be so sweet.
Then she turned fourteen.
"What? What? The girl says 'What?'."Rose screeches. "What the hell is this?" She holds up a small blue plastic zip lock baggie.
"Trash." Alice says plucking the bag for Rose's hand and tossing it into the trash bin by the sink.
"Trash? That's how you regard this situation?" She said furious. "God Alice I thought you were smarter than that."
"Wait…you think it's mine?" Alice asked in disbelief.
"Well it's not mine." She glared.
"Wow." Alice chuckled darkly. "Nice to know you have little faith in me."
"Rose…" I whispered.
"Stay out of this Bel. I'll handle it." Rose said crossing her arms.
"Handle it? Handle what? It's not mine!"Alice shouted.
"Alice don't lie to me…" Rose shook her head.
"Wow so just because I look like her the most means I'm just like her?" Alice asked. "I fuck around, I do heroin and smoke pot—which by the way WON'T kill you—I'm a fuck up. Ain't that right Rosalie?"
"Don't you dare patronize me."Rose glared. "I'm only trying to help you."
"Rose it's not Alice's." I say.
"Dammit Isabella didn't I say stay outta it?" She screamed at me before turning back to Alice. "I will not condone the use of drugs in our house!"
"It's not mine!" Alice yelled back with tears. "Why don't you believe me?"
"You've been known to lie." Rose hissed.
"Rose stop!" I shout. "It's mine! Not Alice's, mine."
"What?" She whirled around to face me.
"I'm sorry." I whispered.
"Bella…"She trailed off. "How could…"
"Rose…"I start.
"Just, no." She said walking past me out of the kitchen.
"Bells…" Alice said when Rose was gone. "Thanks."
"No problem." I smiled at her. "How's mom?"
"Fine." Lie. "She getting better." Another lie.
"You can't keep doing this Alice." I sigh.
"I'm not ready to lose her." She frowned.
"Keep giving her that," I say pointing to the trash can. "And you already have."
"I'm sorry."
"Me too." I say. "Now go do your homework. I'll talk to Rose."
"I love you."
"I love you too."
(*)
By the time my father comes home Rose and I have cried and cleaned and cooked until we couldn't anymore. He's home early.
That should have been our first sign.
Our second sign comes in the form of three other people.
Mama.
Papa's boss Mr. Edward Mason
And some guy in a black jacket.
"If I would have known you were bringing guest I would have prepared more food." Rose says with a smile so big it barley fits on her face. "No matter. We'll make it work."
"So papa?" I asked as they all took their seats. "Are you going to introduce us?"
"Well," Papa cleared his throat. "I'd like to think you guys would recognize your own mother." He chuckled.
"Not even on a good day." Alice mumbled sitting down. I kicked her under the table. "Ow! Fuck that hurt."
"Of course." I say ignoring her. "The others?"
"You've met Edward already." He shook his head. "There's no one else to introduce."
"Umm." Rose says just as confused as I was sitting the last bowl down on the table. "Dad?"
"Oh him?" He chuckled nervously pointing to the man in black. "Just ignore him."
"What's your name?" Alice asked the man ignoring our fathers glare.
"Alice, stop." Rose whispered sitting down.
"What? I want to know." She pouted.
"It's Emmett." The man said after clearing his throat. "And you might want to listen to your father and sister…um…Alice. Wouldn't want an accident to happen." The threat didn't fall death on ears.
"Let's eat?" I suggest.
Dinner is quiet and unsettling. Somehow we make it through though.
"Can I offer you men dessert?" Rose offered. "It's Grandma Swan's famous Dutch Caramel Apple pie."
"Pretty and she cooks?" Mr. Mason chuckles patting dad on the back. "This deal is looking up my dear friend."
"I'm sorry?" Rose says cutting and plating a piece of pie.
"Rosalie dear stop." Dad says sternly. "Will you follow Edward and me into the back room?"
"Am I in trouble?" She asked chewing on her bottom lip.
"Not at all dear." Mr. Mason says moving to pull her lip from her teeth. "We just want to chat."
"Oh."
"Move Rosalie." Dad says and the three of them walk out of the room.
"Great he's finally gone." Mom sighs standing. "Alice, baby please?"
"Mom?" She sighs rubbing her hand over her face. "No."
"One last time." Mom pouts. "I swear I'll quit." Lies.
"It's in my top drawer." She say's giving in with a whisper. Mom squeals kissing her cheek before running up the steps. "I'm sorry." She says to me when mom is gone.
"Can I offer you some pie?" I asked Emmett ignoring the pain. Ignoring my sister.
"I'll take a slice." He nodded moving to stand near me.
"Bells?" Alice said.
"It's fine. You can leave." I say smiling. "Sleep in my room."
"I love you." She says before leaving.
"How big of slice do you want?" I ask Emmett feeling as he shifted behind me.
"Isabella?" Hot air blew in my ear causing me to drop my knife. Large hands found their way to my hips and anxiety crept up inside me.
"What are you doing?" I ask.
"What does it look like I'm doing?" He asked with a chuckle.
"Hmm." I hum. "It looks like your trying to blow our cover."
"Oops." He said kissing my neck. "Sorry?"
"No you're not." I giggle.
"I'm not." I could feel his smile against my skin. "Remind me again why I'm not fucking you against this counter?"
"Because, if my dad finds out he'll lose his shit." I chuckle. "By the way why are you even here? And what was up with that thing with my sister earlier?"
"I was just joking around earlier babe. I'd never hurt your sister." He said biting down on my neck slightly. "They needed me to type up some paper work."
"Shouldn't you be with them then?" I asked pulling away from him.
"Later." He growled pulling me close. "Right now I want to hold my wife."
"We aren't married." I laugh.
"We will be." He smiled. "I know it. You'll be Mrs. Emmett McCarty. Isabella McCarty. Mother to blah, blah McCarty. My wife."
"Blah, blah McCarty?" I asked smiling. "I hope our child's name will not be blah blah.
"Of course not." He shook his head. "But for now?" He nibbled on my ear.
"Yeah?" I sigh leaning into his wrapped arms.
"For now…..I want that pie." He whispers into my ear before pulling away quickly.
"You're such an ass." I glare.
"I'm your ass though." He smiled.
"You're lucky I love your ass." I said kissing his cheek and handing him the slice of pie.
"I just love you in general."
"Isn't that sugar sweet?" A cold voice says into the room. My mother.
"Mom…" I start stepping forward but, stop at her narrowed red eyes and raised hand.
"Edward wants you." She says and Emmett nods before exiting the room. "You're so gullible."
"What?" I asked shocked.
"Tell me, he fuck you yet?" She raised an eyebrow stumbling over to the fridge grabbing a bottle of water.
"What does that have to do with anything?" I stutter. "And for your information, we don't fuck."
"Oh that's rich. Let me guess, 'we don't fuck we make love'?" Mom said crackling. "He got you better than I thought."
"WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?!" I shout.
"I hear a congratulations is in order?" She sings. "A happy couples getting married."
"Mom," I say but stop. She's high but, never once have my mother been high and not been functional. She knew what she was saying.
"Your daddy didn't tell you? Your sister's getting married to Edward's son Junior." She laughs.
"What does that have to do with me and Emmett?" I asked holding back tears.
"Emmett? Oh! He lied to you about his name." She rolls her eyes. "Boys, I swear."
"He lied to me about…his…name?" I asked confused. Somewhere in my head I knew it before she said it. I just didn't want to believe it.
"Sweetie, let me let you in on the joke." She sneered leaning in closer to me. "Emmett 'the assistant', is really Edward Jr. the big man's son. And you were a fucking fool."
"No." I said in disbelief.
"Ask him." She said sitting back in a chair.
I run out of the kitchen and find them into the living room.
Rose.
Emmett or Edward—whatever the fuck his name is.
Edward Sr.
My father.
All sitting on the couch toasting with a bottle of papa's good Champagne. I didn't need to ask him. He wouldn't even make eye contact with me. So I run. Away from my fucked up past. Away from my broken future. Away for my heart breaking present. Away from my sisters, from the man I love, my parents and papa's boss. I run away from all the pain but, old wounds resurface and suddenly I am my mother.
Wasting my night away at Harry's pub.
Kissing and touching strange men.
Drinking my sorrow in whiskey.
Praying to be anywhere but here.
Feeling nothing but numbness at my highest point.
Drowning deeper and deeper.
Wanting, no, needing to do it all over again.
Eight months ago before the wedding…
"So tell me how you meet?" I ask.
It's wrong. So wrong yet, so right.
"We met at a bar in Seattle. You know when I went there to visit mama?" Rose says.
"Oh yes I remember." I say.
"How do you to know each other?" Rose inquired.
"You taste so good." He groaned in my ear nipping at my skin.
"Fuck." I hiss. "Faster."
"I met him when I went up to visit dad at work." I lie. I'm always lying now.
"Oh." She says.
"You like that baby?" He asked pounding I me faster. "You like me fucking you?" I cringe. I hate his words.
"Yes, oh fuck yes." I moan.
"Shit, I'm about to come." He groans slamming into me harder.
"I'm there babe." I say letting out a porn star worthy moan. I fake it. Like always now and days.
"What's he like?" I ask her.
"He's amazing. I've never met a guy like him." She smiles.
"Do you love him?" I asked her.
"You leaving?" I ask him when he immediately starts putting his clothes back on.
"Yeah. Rosalie will be coming back soon." He kissed me forehead. "I need to shower."
"You coming back?" I asked grabbing my cigarettes.
"I don't know." He says heading for the door. "Thanks babe. It was fun."
He leaves with my pride. A hundred dollars lay on my bedside table. I loved him.
"I could learn to." She smiles.
I still do.
"Are you sure?" I ask her.
I hate him.
"Positive." She says.
I hate her.
"Okay." I whispered to her. "I hope you're happy."
"I am." She smiles.
I hate myself.
A text message brings me out of my yellow:
From: Blonde ;) KnockOUT
To: You
Meet me on Fifth Street at 3? Mama says we should start wedding shopping.
From: You
To: Blonde ;) KnockOUT
Okay.
Clear is in the pain I cry, the liquor I drink and the binding numbness I feel every day. Clear is nothing new.