Title: Beautiful Stranger
Author: Phoenix Song
Disclaimer: Fruits Basket, Natsuki Takaya
Summary: Tohru reflects on love and life. Implied Yuki/Tohru.
Author's Note: Told from Tohru's perspective to Yuki (it is not 'you'-based). The sections in italics represent Tohru's thoughts. Apparently, I originally wrote this in 2005 *gasp*. I recently found it on my computer and decided to edit and post it . . . or re-post it, I can't remember. Thanks to everyone who reads and/or reviews!
##
"Sohma-kun?" I inquired awkwardly, stepping into the small glade that had become your garden.
"Hmm? Oh, I didn't expect to see you here today, Honda-san," you said. Your appearance suggested that you had been hard at work in your garden for quite some time now. Your usually prim clothes were wrinkled and speckled with earth and your hair was disheveled from the wind.
"Gomenasai [sorry]," I replied, nervously bowing. "I didn't mean to intrude."
"You're not intruding," you reassured me with a kind smile. "If you have no chores to do, I would gladly enjoy your company."
"I finished all my chores," I replied brightly.
"Then please feel free to have a seat," you said, indicating the large rock resting at the side of your garden.
"Your garden is coming along nicely," I said, obligingly seating myself on the rock. "You must have worked very hard on it."
"Yes, but I enjoy the hard work," you responded modestly. "It gives me the opportunity to think."
"What do you think about?"
"Nothing in particular," you said with a shrug. Suddenly, you noticed the grocery bag in my hand. "What's in there, Honda-san? Did you go shopping?"
I jumped in surprise.
"I'm just using the bag," I explained. "Thank you for reminding me. I almost forgot - this is the reason why I came here in the first place." I reached into the bag and pulled out a riceball, which I had wrapped in plastic earlier. "I brought you a snack, in case you were hungry from working outside for so long." I returned the riceball to the bag with its fellows.
"That's very nice of Honda-san," you replied, tugging off your garden gloves. "I think a break would be nice right about now." You made your way over to me and sat down on the plush grass beside the rock.
I grinned and handed you the bag of riceballs.
"I hope you like them," I said. "I think there should be enough in there, but if you want more, I'd be more than happy to go back to the house and make some."
You glanced in the direction of the house, which wasn't visible from your secret fort.
"No, this is more than enough. Arigato [thank you]." You unwrapped one of the riceballs and bit into it. "Mmm . . . Tasty." And you smiled at me.
##
You don't know, do you? How I feel when I see you smile . . .
##
"I'm glad you like them. I read a magazine article the other day about different types of fillings for riceballs and I wanted to try some of them out."
"They're perfect."
A few moments of comfortable silence passed before one of us spoke up again.
"Have you ever wondered about your destiny, Sohma-kun?" I questioned.
"Destiny?"
"Hai [yes]! Your future destiny, both near and far."
You contemplated this, chewing thoughtfully on your riceball.
"I have," you said slowly. "I think about my goals. I haven't thought about them too much, I admit, but I do know I want to attend university once I've finished high school."
"That's an excellent goal!" I exclaimed excitedly. "You're intelligent enough to study at any university you want to attend. And athletic also! You can probably apply for scholarships!"
"Maybe, but I don't need the money as much as some other people do," you said honestly. "What about you?"
"I need money, but I'm not smart enough or athletic enough to receive scholarships for university."
You smiled softly.
"You misunderstood me, Honda-san. I meant, have you thought about your destiny?"
"Hai [yes], all the time. Well, I dream about it."
"Oh? What do you dream about?" you asked curiously.
"Well . . . My dreams are kind of silly, really," I said, hesitant to answer.
"I'm sure your dreams aren't as silly as you think."
"Well . . . They're more about what I hope my future will be, rather than what I expect it to be. Something that Okaasan [mother] used to tell me was that I always have to have hope, no matter what the circumstances are . . . Gomenasai [sorry], where was I?"
"Your destiny?"
"Hai [yes]!" A dreamy state entered my mind. "I've always wondered . . ." I felt my face heat up before I even said the words. ". . . what it feels like to . . . be in . . . love."
I saw your face blush as well; the pinkish hue was much more attractive on your face than it was on mine, Sohma-kun.
"Love?" you inquired.
"Hai [yes]! Of course, since I've never experienced love, my head is only filled with romantic notions of it. Sometime in my future, I want to know what it feels like. Ano [uh] . . . I really enjoy sharing my love with others - it produces a warm, fuzzy feeling inside of my heart, but . . . sometimes I wonder what it would feel like to be loved in return."
"You are loved, Honda-san," you pointed out, causing my face to redden further.
"Hai [yes], I know . . . Ah! What I meant was . . . Ano [uh]. . ." I stared at my feet; I couldn't bear to look at you any longer. "I know I was loved very much by Okaasan [mother] . . . and I have such wonderful friends, like Uo-chan and Hana-chan . . . and I have many other kind people in my life, like Sohma-kun and Kyo-kun . . . and Shigure-san . . . and the other Sohmas . . ."
"But you want to know what romantic love feels like," you said, making sense of my stutters.
I blushed furiously - that appeared to be the only answer you needed.
"That's something we all yearn for, Honda-san," you said, surprising me. I thought you'd laugh or at least say it was a silly idea (since Sohma-kun is too kind to laugh outright), but no. You actually supported me by sharing the same opinion.
"Really?" I asked.
"Mm [yes]."
"That's wonderful, Sohma-kun!" I exclaimed. "Have you thought about it often?"
"Well . . . ano [uh]. . ."
"Hehe, that's okay. You don't have to answer," I laughed. "Ah, gomenasai [sorry]. I didn't mean to laugh."
"That's okay," you reassured me. "I enjoy listening to your laughter. It's . . . kawaii [cute]."
"Eh . . ."
##
Despite appearances, I'm not always like this, smiling and laughing.
I've always tried to look on the brighter side of life, but sometimes, things just became too difficult! After Okaasan [mother] died, I felt as if a part of me had died as well. It hurt . . . It hurt so badly . . . I wondered what sins I committed in a past life to have to endure such pain in this one . . .
##
"Ah, Honda-san," you said, snapping me out of my reverie.
"Hai [yes]?"
"How do you think you did on the last exam we had?"
"Eh?"
"You know," you said with a patient smile, "the mathematics exam we had the other day."
"Oh, I think I did okay." I flashed you a smile of my own. "And it's all thanks to you! You helped me study for it, for which I'm really, really grateful."
You blushed and took another bite from your riceball to fill in the following silence.
##
After Okaasan [mother] died, I wondered what I'd done wrong. Did I really deserve all this pain?
Okaasan [mother] taught me selfishness is something that must be overcome, but after she died, I couldn't help but feel anything but selfish. I was hurting all over, so I wanted anything and everything to help make me feel better.
##
"And have you finished reading the book for English class yet, Honda-san?"
"No, not yet," I admitted sheepishly. "But I'm very close to the end. What about you?"
"I finished it last night. It has a pleasant ending - I think you'll like it."
"Ah! Don't tell me!" I exclaimed, waving my hands. "I want to find out for myself!" I paused. "Gomen [sorry], I shouldn't have yelled like that."
"Don't worry - I wasn't offended."
##
I decided I didn't want to live the rest of my life believing that was the best I deserved.
All that pain . . . All that suffering . . . I knew I deserved better.
I needed to have something to believe in, something that would bring my hopes up and make me look forward to the years to come.
##
"Do you have any dreams, Sohma-kun?"
"Yes, I do," you said. "Just the other night, I dreamt that an army of cats raided my bedroom and lit my hair on fire."
"Ano [uh] . . . I meant 'dreams' as in 'hopes' . . . or maybe even 'fantasies'."
"'Fantasies'?"
"Hai [yes]!"
"Well, there's one I have sometimes," you said slowly, "but I know it's impossible." You shook your head, as if disbelieving you could ever think of something so foolish.
"Why?"
"Because it involves the curse." You sighed. "In one my fantasies, I was born without the curse of the rat. I would just be a . . . normal person."
"No, Sohma-kun! You shouldn't wish to be anyone other than who you are! You're a wonderful person - the curse doesn't change that."
Fearful that I'd been too frank, I waited silently for your response.
"Perhaps, but it doesn't make the pain go away." You smiled sadly.
I remained silent for a moment longer, then, "I have a fantasy where a superhero comes to rescues me."
"A superhero?" you echoed, incredulous.
"Well, maybe not an actual 'superhero', but he would be one in my eyes." I drifted off into my dream world. "A beautiful stranger comes for me and takes me away to his world of dreams." I giggled softly. "Of course, I don't really think it's going to happen, but it's fun to think it will, ne [eh]?"
"I don't think your fantasy is impossible," you said, fixing your gaze upon me. "Maybe you've already met that beautiful stranger and you just don't know it." You stared at me intently. "Maybe I'm that beautiful stranger, Honda-san."
##
I remembered visiting a psychic with Uo-chan and Hana-chan a few months ago. It was just for fun, really, a favour to Hana-chan's cousin to help her start up her new business.
Mikoto-chan used her crystal ball to see into my future. She said I was destined to do great things and that I'd meet someone whom would have a strong impact on my life. It was the latter fact that piqued my interest - I asked her to tell me more about it.
"He is someone whom you will love," she said. "His hair and his eyes will be as red as the fiery sun in the middle of the desert . . . but he isn't your true love."
"What does her 'true love' look like then?" Uo-chan demanded impatiently, for she was standing just outside Mikoto's curtained doorway and was able to hear everything that was said inside the small hut as she waited for her turn.
"What colour will my true love's eyes be?" I asked timidly.
##
And then I realized . . .
A small smile appeared on my lips as I gazed into your soft, affectionate eyes.
##
"Violet."
##
"It is you!" I exclaimed suddenly, seemingly catching you off guard. "You're the one who saved me, Sohma-kun! You allowed me to stay in your house and took care of me when I was ill."
##
I had exhausted myself by trying to dig up Okaasan's [mother's] photograph after the landslide. You and Shigure-san took me to the Sohma house and allowed me to rest there. Not only that, when I awakened the following morning, you had a wonderful proposition for me.
"Even though it's a dirty house," you said, "and there are only males, there is an empty room upstairs. And so, until the construction is over, you can stay here."
You made me so happy that day, Sohma-kun.
You still do.
##
"I always thought a stranger would come to save me, but I know you're much more than that, Sohma-kun . . ."
##
You were my prince . . . You were my superhero . . . You were my beautiful stranger . . .
##
The End.