Title: Five Times Thom E. Gemcity Tried to Get a Date…And the One Time He Didn't

Written for the NFA's Win a Date with Thom E. Gemcity Challenge

A/N - Not betaed, kid tested or mother approved (but I don't think my mother would really mind)

A slight spoiler for the episode Forced Entry
****

Sure, being a famous best selling novelist had its perks. The money was good. The fame was surprisingly nice. And yet, there were days when Timothy McGee wished he had never picked up that old typewriter at that tag sale all those years ago.

When he heard Tony's laughter even before the elevator opened, he was certain this was going to be one of those days.

As quickly as he could without looking too suspicious, Tim headed towards his desk. He saw Tony huddled over Ziva's desk, showing her a piece of paper with red typing speckled with light pink heart graphics. He also noticed Tony's mischievous smile and he knew he was in trouble.

" 'Win a date with Thom E. Gemcity!'" Tony read. "'Yes, one lucky fan can win a night on the town with Thom E. Gemcity. To enter, purchase a copy of Rock Hollow at specialized locations for an entry code. Then follow the instructions on the Gemcity website and you will have a shot at spending dinner and a night with the bestselling author.'"

Tim rolled his eyes. He did feel a little betrayed with Ziva just sitting there and watching the spectacle from her desk. It also didn't help when she was trying very hard not to laugh at him.

"Yes, I know what it says, Tony."

Tony held up the printed e-mail for Tim to see. "Really, McRomeo? I knew you were desperate for a date on Valentine's Day but this is a bit much." Tony turned the paper over to examine it further. "In fact, it's sad. Very, very sad."

Tim settled himself down at his desk and turned to Tony with a need to defend himself. "It wasn't my idea, okay?" he stated. "My publisher thought this was a 'unique' way to advertise for my book."

"This," Tony emphasized by holding and shaking the paper, "is not advertising. It's a cry for help."

"Lyndi was very adamant about the whole thing and she promised-" A thought suddenly occurred to him. "Wait a minute. She promised me only members of my fan club can get one of those flyers."

Tony's eyes widened and he quickly hid the paper behind his back. He gave an uncomfortable laugh and slowly retreated back to his desk. "I have my resources, Probie."

Tim stared back at him in disbelief. "I don't believe it! You subscribe to my newsletter? That's a paid subscription!"

Ziva snickered. "I think you are caught red-fisted, Tony."

Tony hid the incriminating evidence in his desk drawer and tried another tactic. "That's 'red-handed', Ziva," he growled. "And so what if I am a part of the T.E.G. 4ever Fan Club? I'm not ashamed. I find it a strategic advantage. There are all these women out there analyzing and dissecting every move I make in that book."

"For the last time, you are not a char-"

Tony waved him off. "Yeah, we've all heard the speech, McLawyer. The point here isn't about me. It's about your latest sad attempt at your love life."

"Really? I would be more concerned with your own, DiNozzo," Gibbs said as he walked into the bullpen with his daily fourth cup of coffee. Gibbs' path was set for his desk until, at the last second, he stopped and turned back to where Tony tried to inconspicuously stay in front of the drawer. It didn't take much for Gibbs to get into the desk and read the topic of their discussion.

Gibbs' eyebrows arched up as an inquiry to Tony's reading material. "Are you thinking about entering, Tony?"

"I- um," Tony struggled to get out the words under Gibbs' trance. "No, Boss. I get enough of McGemcity to handle here at work."

Gibbs gave a slight grin. "Then get to work and handle it."

"Yes, Boss."

The rest of the team took that as their cue and got into their assignments.

&&&&&&&&&

Later that day, both McGee and Tony stood in front of the plasma and watched in astonishment as Delilah Frost, the cute, blonde anchor for Channel 3 news, described the events at one of DC's bookstores.

"Police were called in to control a mob earlier today at local bookstore in Silver Springs. The incident started because of a contest for best-selling author, Thom E. Gemcity."

The scene cut from her to footage of the bookstore. They showed waves of women from all ages rallying against the barrier of the store's glass doors. The shouts and cries could be heard among the women as they demanded to get into the store.

Delilah continued as a voiceover. "The incident started shortly after lunch when fans were waiting to purchase contest entry codes for a chance to win a date with the famed author. The crowd rushed to get into the store after hearing about limited supplies, causing injury to two people. Both were taken to the hospital and later released." She paused for a moment and went on to the next story. "On the Hill-"

Tony decided that was enough and muted the television. "Well, that will certainly get the publicity you need. I bet your publisher is doing a happy dance about that."

Tim's eyes still watched the screen as men in suits talked without sound. Dazed, he responded, "Did I really cause a riot?"

"Don't rub it in."

Tim sighed and decided not to rise to the bait. "I got a call from Crawshaw. It seems to be a whole liability mess. The bookstore is blaming the publishing company. The publishing company wants to blame the bookstore and the advertising firm running the contest. And I'm sure it won't be long until they all want to blame the guy who wrote the book. They have to postpone the contest until the lawyers can sort it all out."

"Sound like a boatload of fun. You can get some streamers and the whole thing could be a legal party." Tony thought how it would look with lawyers wearing party hats. "Remind never to come to any of your parties."

"That would imply I would invite you."

"Harsh, McSpoilsport. I still wouldn't go."

"Well, you know what? I don't care. You know why?" Tim gave a sly smile and didn't let Tony answer. "Because it's not everyday I can say women rioted to get a date with me."

"It means nothing!" Tony answered back. The tremor in his voice made the statement unconvincing.

"That's what I thought."