Author's note: WARNING-- DO NOT READ THIS STORY WITHOUT READING thesepeopleareus' HAPPY STORY FIRST! OTHERWISE THIS WILL NOT MAKE ANY SENSE! (there's a link to her profile on my profile page).
that said, this is an extra to afore mentioned Happy Story. while writing my parts, i discovered that i truly enjoyed playing with Konan and making her suffer. so i wrote this scene from Kisame's POV, and it's chapter... um... 12? of the Happy Story. and then i decided to write it again, this time as Konan. so here is what came of it. hope you like it!
Disclaimer: Eris and Maddie and Michiko are thesepeopleareus' OC's. maddie is based on one of her dear friends and eris... umm... i have no idea where eris came from, actually, though i've become quite fond of her, and Michiko... i don't know about her either... anyway, i don't own anything, not even the OC's. -sigh-
--kyra

Konan's usual state was one of unseen apathy. True, she had emotions, just like the best of them, but she could have rivaled Itachi for hiding them. Only Pein knew the key to unlocking them, and even he occasionally had trouble. She prided herself on her inscrutability and her general aura of, 'leave me the hells alone or else." As the only woman… well, the only properly alive woman in Akatsuki, she needed that tough shell. She didn't trust the men she had to live with not to attempt to ravage her in the middle of the night any more than she trusted Pein to let them get away with it. But, she had to be able to protect herself, and, to that end, she'd developed the reputation of being both a kick-ass fighter and a complete waste as a woman. It was with some smugness that she recalled the few times she had to come into contact with the others: they tended to shy away from her almost unconsciously, clearly thinking far less about taking the few vestiges of her virtue than of getting away from her as quickly as they could.

Even so, there was no denying that a little appreciation would be nice once in a while. Sure, Pein was plenty appreciative, at times, but he tended to lock himself in his study for hours – if not days – at a time without even thinking about her. Though it would be like pulling teeth to get her to admit it, Konan was lonely.

Which, of course, was why she didn't turn and run when Eris sought her out. Instead, she crossed her arms and leaned against the wall, looking the Goddess straight in the eyes. "What do you want?"

Eris smiled, displaying pointed teeth. "Just a moment of your time."

"You have me cornered. Go on."

"You may have noticed that it's been… quiet around here."

Konan sighed and shifted her weight ever so slightly. "Get to the point, Eris."

Eris' smile turned to a scowl. "I would, if you would stop interrupting me. Do you want to hear what I have to tell you or not?"

"Do I have a choice?"

"No."

"Then why bother asking? Just talk."

"Fine. Here it is: I don't like how the Leader's been treating you."

Konan stared at the teenage Goddess for a long moment, then burst into laughter. When she recovered her breath, she demanded, "What exactly do you mean by that?"

"Exactly what it sounds like. I don't like how he treats you."

"And how, pray tell, does he treat me?"

Eris gave her that look that said, 'You're the stupidest person I've ever met but I'm far too polite to mention it,' and said, her voice patronizing in the extreme, "He's using you, Konan. He sends for you, fucks you, and sends you away. There's nothing else; no tenderness in the halls, no conversations at any other time, nothing. Can you see how that would disturb me?"

"No. Pein and I have a perfectly satisfactory agreement. What makes you think I want tenderness and/or conversation?"

Eris just looked at her. "I'm the Goddess of Chaos, dear. I know this kind of thing."

Konan scowled. "You are the Goddess of irritating femininity, apparently. Not all women like being sweet and lovey-dovey, you know."

Eris managed to look both insulted and pleased at the same time. "I'll forgive the insult this once. And I'm not suggesting you want to be lovey-dovey, I'm suggesting it would be nice not to be ignored for days at a time. I've seen you watch Michiko and her train of men. Admit it, you want that too. You want to wake up in the morning and know there are people who want you. Not just as a fighter or as a fuck-buddy, but who want you."

"You are implying that Deidara wants Michiko for herself, not for her body?"

"Oh course he does. If all he wanted was her body, then he wouldn't have killed himself."

"He didn't. You murdered him."

"Assisted suicide. It makes no difference in the long run."

"I fail to see what this has to do with me."

"Just this: I know what you want better than you do. You want to be admired and cherished. The Leader won't do that for you. Trust me on this one. I'm the one who's always watching, and I know. Deidara and Itachi don't have time for anyone but their dead love. So your best bet is one of the others. I'd go for Kisame, if I were you. He's got to be tired of not being able to kiss his little ghost-girl by now."

"When did this evolve into a proper scheme? Don't I even get a say in this?"

"Of course you do. I'm just giving helpful suggestions. You don't have to do it, of course, but I thought you'd want to know." And, with that, the wretched creature vanished, stepping back into the wall like it wasn't even there. Konan scowled horrifically after her, then stalked away, muttering under her breath about meddling goddesses who should do everyone a favor and get themselves unbound from the forest and wreak havoc somewhere else. But, even as she made her way back to her own room, she couldn't keep the thoughts Eris had planted in her out of her mind.

"Hello Konan. I haven't seen you around lately."

Konan shrugged, walking farther into the kitchen and trying to convince herself that she wasn't completely mad. "I've been busy."

Kisame nodded, turning back to whatever he was doing on the counter. It appeared to involve copious amounts of raw fish, but she didn't want to speculate any farther. When thinking about Kisame and fish in the same sentence, it was better not to ask any questions. She crossed the kitchen to get a closer look, ending up slightly closer to him than she'd intended. It was clear her noticed, from the unconscious shifting and glancing away that he began to indulge himself in.

Finally, he couldn't seem to bear the growing tension any longer. "Can I, um, help you with anything?"

She hesitated, wondering again just what she was getting into. Pein was going to murder her when he found out… if he found out. She'd never considered that possibility before. He didn't have to know… right? She shrugged. Might as well go for it all.

"What's it like?"

"What's what like?"

"Kissing a ghost."

He blinked, obviously not expecting that question. "What?"

"You heard me." Honestly, how often would she have to repeat herself with him? Pein was just as bad. Apparently men spent so much of their time thinking about themselves and how perfect they were that there wasn't any space in their heads left for skills such as listening.

"It's… interesting. Why do you ask?"

"Do you miss kissing normal people?"

He seemed to give her question serious consideration, something she hadn't expected. To be perfectly honest, she wasn't sure what she'd expected, but it certainly wasn't a well thought out and honest answer. She'd come into the kitchen with the vague idea of either snogging him senseless then and there or turning and running the moment she spoke. As it turned out, she'd done neither, and she didn't know how to respond to his taking her seriously. She began to realize, with a slight dropping of her stomach, just how much she didn't know about men. Maybe Eris was right after all. Maybe she did need a real change. Then she shook the thought out of her head. This was Eris she was thinking about. Eris didn't do anything for anyone's good but her own. Even so, there was no denying that she'd been right…

"I hadn't really thought about it."

Konan forced her mind back to the conversation. "Oh."

There seemed to be nothing more to say, and Kisame turned back to his fish. He seemed very intent on not looking at her and, for some reason, that infuriated her. How dare he ignore her? It was one thing when Pein did it. Pein was the Leader, the One Who Sent Them On Dangerous Missions Which He Claimed Were Very Important And Then Threatened Them With Dastardly Punishments When They Failed. Kisame was a mere pawn in the organization, important, but not vital. He had no right to ignore her.

She caught his hand as he turned to deposit his meal into the frying pan, not giving herself time to regret anything. She drew him towards her, ignoring the fish dropping from his cutting board into the open flame, leaned forward, and kissed him. She'd meant to start off slowly, meant to give both of them time to adjust to the sensation, but somehow, only moments after they'd made the contact, she felt herself working up to a state of passion worthy of Pein's bed.

He finally pulled away slightly, doing his best to catch his breath.

"We shouldn't be doing this." He took a step forward as he did so, completely undermining his words.

"No one has to know." After all, there was no reason this had to go farther than the kitchen, right? She distracted him from her sudden doubts by drawing him still closer until they were almost melded together.

She knew she had him. She might never have done this kind of thing before, but she was a female, and her inner feminine sense was informing her that he was in the palm of her hand. He was completely helpless. She'd bound him as effectively as Sasori could have, without nearly as much effort on her part. In fact, she'd rather enjoyed it.

The flame behind them popped suddenly, and they both turned to face it. Almost distractedly, Kisame yanked water from the nearby stove, sending it flooding onto the stove. He started to turn back to her, then stopped, his head snapping up, his expression morphing into one of utter horror.

"What?" She glanced up at him, wondering what about the stove had sparked such a change.

"Sir Leader is going to kill us."

She pulled her breath through her teeth in an inaudible hiss. So he'd realized too, had he? There was no help for it. She'd have to tell him the bare facts. "Pein's a big boy. He can take it."

Kisame scowled, apparently not accepting this simple explanation. "He is the Leader. I am his subordinate. I'd like to keep having a house to live in, thanks all the same."

"He won't kick you out. You're fairly indispensable."

"Thanks for the compliment, but I doubt it."

She shook her head in irritation, wondering what was so hard to understand about this. "Trust me on this one, Kisame. You'll keep your job and your room."

"And my sanity? I don't know about you, but I'd really rather not test that theory."

She sighed. In the end, it was his choice. With a grimace, she pulled away, not failing to notice the visible wilting that this action caused. She smirked and leaned forward again. "Not even for this?" She kissed him again, pushing herself even closer to him, doing her best to meld herself with him, trying to force him to go back to being the useful little puppet he'd been before. To her pleasant surprise, it worked.

And then it all went wrong. Just as she was really starting to enjoy herself, a figure appeared in the doorway, shadowed by another, much more ominous-looking one.

"What in gods' names is going on here?"