I smiled weakly as he stroked the ring on my finger delicately. I sighed gently as he hugged me, whispering his half-hearted excitement in my ear.
I love Troy. I loved him so much in high school, I couldn't give him up when we left and went to college. I followed him around like a lost puppy, and he let me. I knew he didn't really want me to, but it was an assurance to both of us. We knew we always had each other.
I remember when my life turned upside down. After high school, we decided that dating wasn't the best road to go down together. We decided we'd be better off being friends. I was okay with that, even though I still loved him. It was the middle of the day, on a Saturday, and me and Troy were sitting in my room at college, eating chips and tossing a baseball between each other. Nearly everyone had filed for the same college, except Chad, Jason and Kelsi. I was being deliberately quiet, avoiding his eye as I threw the ball to him. I was upset that, although Troy and I weren't dating, he had spent all week with Sharpay, playing basketball and studying together in Troy's room. I felt rather lonely, since I spent most days after school at Troy's room, either playing games with Troy or talking with his roommate. I had started to get quite lonely; I didn't want Sharpay anywhere near me.
"Are you okay? You seem kinda... Off with me." Troy said after a long, awkward silence.
"It's nothing." I told him, not wanting to talk to him about it. He wouldn't understand what this was about, anyway.
"Gabs, can I tell you something? ...What would you say if I told you I had a crush on someone?" Troy said seriously, and my stomach groaned with unhappiness. He liked Sharpay, I knew it.
"Oh. Who is it?" I whispered, picking up a rag doll and playing with its arms and legs. I didn't want to hear the answer, because I knew I'd be dreading it.
"Sharpay." Troy answered after a while, much to my disappointment. I tried to stop the tears, but they fell. I smiled at him and told him he was so sweet, and that I was only crying because I was in shock.
"Thank you, Troy. I can't wait till tomorrow, just so I can be your wife." I whispered through my tears, glancing at the ring on my finger. He smiled and looked around the apartment we shared, a look of disappointment in his eyes. He saw the photo frames on the piano, pictures of us two grinning, pretending we were happy together. In his eyes, he saw Sharpay next to him.
Sharpay had gone to Las Vegas to do shows in casinos. Troy asked to come, but she said no. He knew she already had other boyfriends whilst they were dating, but he didn't care.
Las Vegas was the perfect place for Sharpay. There, she could date everyone and no one would care. She could get married to as many people as she wanted illegally, and it wouldn't bother me. Because she was far, far away, and I had Troy all to myself now.
I didn't need him to love me back – all I needed was for him to be in my arms at night, and to make love to me whenever either one of us wanted it. Sometimes it was more than once a night. Sometimes it was only once a month.
But after 3 years together, in our small, cramped apartment; and with both our crap jobs, we were satisfied. Troy longed for Sharpay, but he put that aside and left time for me. I never cared when in the middle of making love he shouted Sharpay's name, I didn't even blink when he accidentally filed my name down as Sharpay on bills and credit cards. I had him and I could use him as much as I want.
We used each other.
That night I curled up on my single bed, crying as silently as I could. Twirling the ring around my finger, I remembered what had happened earlier that day.
It was the day before our wedding, and he was nervous and unhappy. He had started to cry slowly in the morning, whimpering and walking from room to room to look for comfort. By the afternoon he was angry, yelling at me for nothing. He settled down by dinnertime, and I cooked him a meal so he didn't have to do it himself. He came to the table, pale and weak. He had been thinking too much about the wedding, and it'd taken the life out of him.
He cried after I sat down beside him, wiping his tears with his sleeve. I tried to comfort him, but my presence wasn't helping. I was the problem.
"Why aren't you Sharpay? Why can't you just be her?" he screamed, and I ran away in terror. I didn't want him to say that. I didn't want to hear those words. Those words cut open my soul.
And as I sat myself upright, looking out of the ghostly dark window, I cried some more. I wanted to fulfil Troy's wishes. I wanted Troy to love me.
I wanted to be Sharpay.
Well, that was depressing. Lol.
This was just... it came from out of nowhere, jumped on my back, made me give it a piggy-back ride all day and then finally jumped off and ordered me to write it up. So there.
I don't own anything. Please review, but not mean things. I know it's short and it's not very good, so I don't need you all to tell me. Thanks for reading.