Wimpy's Diet
A/N: My first Popeye the Sailor story...and yeah, they're mostly out of their character, so don't remind me. Enjoy.
Plus, the ittalics when Popeye talks is when he talked to himself.
Chapter 1: Wimpy's Heartattack
One typical morning, the fat old freeloader, Wimpy, went out for some breakfast in the most famous restarant in Mock Dock City...
"Hello there, valient customer. Welcome to 'Olive's Shitty Restarant,' where you eat pay, and get outta here! Now, what would you like there?" Olive asked.
"Why I would like a hamburger please," Wimpy ordered.
"Would you really want a hamburger for breakfast? Well, who am I to judge? That'll be two dollars, sir," Olive said.
"Which I would gladly pay you Tuesday..." Wimpy 'promised.'
"Well darn my socks, my luck rocks. Because today is Tuesday," Olive danced.
"...Next Tuesday."
"No way, man. You have to pay to eat something from me."
Moments later, another customer came in.
"Why hello there, Popeye. Welcome to Olive's Shitty Resterant," she greeted.
"Olive, I wish you can change the name of this restarant. I'll have the usual," Popeye ordered.
"Will it be from the plate or straight from the can?" Olive asked.
"What kinda stupid question is that? The can," Popeye answered.
"Maam, I require a hamburger," Wimpy yelled.
"Wimpy? Is that you? Long time no see," Popeye yelled.
"You know him?" Olive asked.
"One hamburger in my tab," Popeye said.
"Make sure you pay her on Tuesday," Wimpy pointed out.
"Sure, whatever...fat cheapskte," Popeye added.
So Popeye paied for the hamburger.
"Say, Popeye? Why did you pay for the man's sandwich?" Olive asked, giving Popeye the can.
"Because, Olive, I owe Wimpy for getting through high school and college. I's have to pay for every hamburger he eats!" Popeye explained.
"How's that going?"
"I wish I would be kissin Papi now."
"Maybe you should've done less fighting and more studying. Here's your burger, Wimpy."
"Don't be blamen me for the crap Bluto's done!"
"I should be blaming you for your attendance of your fights. In other words, you want to fight."
While Popeye and Olive were arguing, Wimpy started to twitch without noticing, until he asked...
"Holy crud! Something is wrong with my heart!" Wimpy cried.
"Shut up, Wimpy, your only having a heart attack. Now where were we?" Popeye asked.
"Are you stupid, Popeye? This man needs medical care!" Olive yelled.
"You're just saying that to get out of your losing argument," Popeye started.
"I need assistance!" Wimpy said weakly and then fainted.
"POPEYE!! GET YOUR CAR RUNNING!" Olive yelled.
"All right fine! You better be lucky that gas prices are dropping," Popeye complained.
Sometime later, Wimpy woke up, finding out he's high above the clouds.
"Hello, Wimpy. I've been expecting you," Someone in a deep voice said.
"Are you...are you God? Are we in...heaven" Wimpy asked.
"God? Heaven? Of course not. It's a me, Mario. And we're on an airplane wing heading for Las Vegas! Yahoo!"
"What kind of hamburger that lady gave me for this dream?"
"You're not dreaming...your not dead either, but this is one of those vision things your having now. I'm-a problaby should tell you something important."
"Well? What is it?"
"Well, you really are alive, but you are a sleep...I, on the other hand, am awake and telling you something...anyway, you got lucky this-a time. But the next time you have another heart attack, you won't be lucky next time."
"So what I have to do?"
"A simple weight lost solution should work...about 3 or 4 tons should do just-a fine."
"Now I would let you know that I weigh only 125. I don't need a diet!"
"If you can't see your feet, there's no way your weight is 125. I've may have over reacted with the tons, but that seems more possible than your lie."
"Well, I'm not at that point, but I promise you that I could!"
"Great determination...and I'm-a like-e your out of character phase. Well, there's no point of us talking any longer. We're-a over your hospital. If you can get to your target weight, prove me wrong, and the next time we meet, it'll be a worthwhile. Oh yeah, pay the friggin bill when you friggin get it...no more of this Tuesday crap!!"
"Great...how do I get out of here?"
"Uhh...look-e! A free hamburger!"
Wimpy looked in the direction Mario pointed...and in an instant, he was pushed off the wing.
"Don't worry, fat one. This'll wake you up!" Mario yelled.
"AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" Wimpy screamed as he was about crash.
Then, he rose up in an instant from the hospital. Then he heard a quiet, but loud noise from outside. He looked out his window, and saw an airplane pass by.
"VIVA LAS VEGAS, BABY!! WAHOO!!" What could've been Mario yelled.
"That was wierd..." Wimpy sighed.
"Why hello there, sleepy head. Welcome to Olive's Shitty Hospital!" Olive greeted.
"Wait, so you own a restarant, and a hospital?" Wimpy asked.
"Sure did. Now here's your bill for the stay and the surgury...unless your gonna pay Tuesday?" Olive asked.
"No, madame, I will pay now," Wimpy said, giving her 2000 dollars.
"Sorry, I must be in the wrong room. You never give me my money," Olive said in shock.
"Well, Ever since Mario gave me a second chance, I am a changed man!"
"Sure...I'll believe that..." Olive paused in confusion.
Wimpy has survived his near death and near death experience, and he promised that he'll be a changed man. But how long will this changed phase be? And will this story get wierder as it goes along? You bet your sweet patootie it will...R/R, please.