CRAIG 1
As they sat on the plane on the way home none of them looked at each other , they all kept to themselves trying to deal with the loss they all felt in their own way. They were all stunned at what they had seen. One minute they were all together and then when the plane attacked everything fell apart so quickly. They knew the Germans were after them, and that the scientist they had rescued was important to both sides, and that he was more willing to work for the allies now that his family was safe, but they had not expected the arrack to come so quickly or with such ferocity . The Germans had obviously decided that if they couldn't have Richter then no one else would and had sent a plane to locate and destroy them. They had managed to get through the last checkpoint with relative ease and now they could all understand why. Minutes later the road had disappeared under a hail of bullets giving them just enough time to get out of the car and into the nearest ditch. They were all taking cover when Richter decided to run for the car , trying to get it started , and outrun the next wave of bullets. They saw the Warden run to the car and leap in ,trying and get him off the road again, saw the car swerve and land bonnet first into a ditch. They ducked for cover as the plane returned , and as they looked up after it had gone they saw there was nothing left. The car was engulfed in flames and had flipped out of the ditch and onto the road, pieces of it scattered everywhere. They thought nothing now of their own safety just the need to get to the Warden , get him out before it was too late, As they got nearer the car exploded , the shockwave knocking them off their feet. They knew that no one could have gotten out alive. They could not get near it now the flames were to intense They shouted his name ,but knew he would not answer, could not answer, he was gone and there was nothing they could do. They stood there staring at the car waiting for someone to tell them what to do . It was Actor who came to his senses first, saying quietly `We have to leave, the Krouts will be here soon, we have to go`. They looked from him to the car.
`I ain't gonna leave him, not like this` Chief said.
Actor went and stood between Chief and the burning car,
`There is nothing we can do for him now, Chief, nothing but stay alive.`
As Chief continued to stare at the car Actor said,
`Don't let him down Chief , don't die for nothing, he wouldn't want you to do that.`
Chief said nothing ,just turned and ran up the road .
Actor knew where they were to be picked up. Knew that if they would only trust him he could get them home. No-one wanted to leave the Warden but they had no choice, all they could do for him now was get home safely.
They reached the pick up point easily , supposing that the Krouts thought they had killed them all in the car and had stopped looking for them , they boarded the plane and starred into space, each one realizing that they had left behind a friend, someone they had come to trust and care for had gone and they were lost in their grief, not caring when or if they got home. Right now all they were thinking of was which one of them was going to have to tell Angel that Craig was dead, and there was nothing they could have done to stop it. Nothing they could have done to bring him home to her as they had promised. They knew she would be devastated, but what they didn't know was whether they had become enough of a family over the past few months for them to get over their loss together , or whether she would just walk away and leave them. One thing was for sure , for the first time not one of them wanted to go home.
As always when she knew they were on their way home Angel would come to the mansion and get a fire started in their room and make sandwiches and hot cocoa as they were always cold on the plane . And Goniff especially always came home hungry. She heard the jeep draw up outside and went to the window. She only caught a glimpse of the last two of them getting out and couldn't help but notice how tired they looked. She hoped that the refreshments she had provided would help them relax and that they could get the sleep they so obviously needed. They were waiting for her in the kitchen and she noticed that none of the food had been touched. `
`Hi guys how'd it go? You all ok?
They all seemed so quiet , even Chief .,She looked at Actor and he started to walk towards her and then she knew. Tears started to glisten in her eyes,
`No , please no, not Craig.`
Actor took another step towards her,
`Angel I'm sorry , so very sorry there was nothing we could do to save him.`
She just stared at him , backing away from him as he walked towards her , as if keeping him away would make things alright ,and then without warning , she just stopped , and before he could reach her collapsed onto the floor. Actor gently picked her up and carried her to the Warden's office, and put her on the bed. He turned to Gonff,
`Make some tea will you Goniff? She's going to need it when she comes round.
Goniff looked at Angel and then at Actor, `She going to be alright then? He asked.
`Don't worry Goniff`, Actor told him, we'll take care of her, you just make the tea , you know you make it better than any of us.
Casino looked at Actor and nodded, `Come on mate I'll give you a hand, Actor's got things under control here, let's give him a little room to work shall we? `. Actor nodded his thanks to Casino , and hoped that the two of them would be a comfort to each other.
He looked for Chief and was not surprised to find that he had gone. He knew that Chief would take the Warden's death the hardest of them all, as Craig had been a special friend to him ,his first real friend. Craig had taught Chief to trust him, something that he knew nothing about until Craig had saved his life and had wanted nothing in return. He had changed an angry young man into a member of the team that he could be proud of, and he had taught him that mistakes were notpunishable with a beating , but were there to be learned from , and not made again. But most of all Chief had learned to smile, to not get riled up over things that were meant to tease him and not to hurt him, or meant maliciously. Craig had accepted Chief ,treated him just like the others ,and being treated as an equal was something no one had ever done before. Actor was sure that Chief felt that he had let him down, let Angel down by not bringing Craig home to her, He hoped he would not dwell on the past too much and that he would wantto know what he could do to help her. For that was the one thing that Actor was certain of Angel was going to need them , and he hoped that Chief would realize how much she needed him Angel came too she realized where she was and instinctively looked for looked into Actor's face and knew that this wasn't a dream, that Craig really was dead ,and as the tears started to flow he moved towards her and scooped her up from the bed into his arms. He held her tightly and as the pain hit her and the sobs began in earnest he stroked her hair and told her that they would be there for her ,take care of her. Actor knew that between the four of them theywould make sure that she never had to grieve alone. He held her as if he would never let go and she clung to him, needing some one to help take away the pain that tore through her. They sat holding each other until the sobs started to subside and she drew away from him and swinging her legs off the bed sat on the edge still leaning against him gasping for air and shaking brought in the tea and poured out a mug for her. He looked at Actor and then at Angel `It's hot and sweet, just like me mum told me to make for shock` he said. She took the tea and sipped it and then quietly asked `Are you all o.k,?.Actor hugged her and said `We are all fine , just worried about you that's all,` He looked at her `If there is anything you need all you have to do is tell us we will be here, you do know that don't you?` Angel just nodded knowing that if she tried to speak that the tears would start again . Goniff was trying not to look at her , seeing how hurt she was just made him want to help her but he didn't know what to do. `Tea all right then , is it?` he said. Angel looked at him and gave him a weak smile ,`Just what I needed Goniff `.She said `You're mum knows best as usual` Goniff returned the smile, knowing then that she would beall right with them to take care of her ,and after all that's what the Warden would have looked around the room and before she could say anything Actor said `We don't know where he is, he took off just after you fainted, he's taking Craig's loss harder than I thought he would, and as much as we would all like too ,there's no point in looking for him when he doesn't want to be found, all we can do is hope he will come back when he is ready. Angel nodded, knowing that Actor was right, but worrying about Chief all the more, she knew that he would need sometime alone to deal with his grief in his own way, she just hoped that heremembered that he had friends that cared about him and wanted him to come looked at Actor and said` I need to know how he died , please, I need to know`. Actor took a deep breath , and while Goniff poured more tea for her, he told her about the mission., leaving nothing out, about the car exploding and them not being able to get to him, hoped that she knew that if there had been any way they could have brought him back to her they would have. Angel looked at their faces and knew that they were grieving as much as she was. She took Actor's hand and just said ,`Thank you, thank you all so much, you meant a great deal to him you know, and I know that no-one could have done more for him than you did ,and that if there had been any way you could have got him home that you would have. All that matters now is that you are all safe and I know that would have meant the world to him`. She looked at them all and knew that what they needed most now was each turned to her and asked `Will you stay with us here for a few days until we know you're all right , I don't like the thought of you being all alone in the cottage`.
She smiled at him `
I don't know whether you will understand this , but right now that's where I need to be`. She said `But if it makes you feel better I promise I will call you if I need anything and you can come and pick meup in the morning and I will stay here tomorrow if that's o.k.`
Actor said `If you are sure that is what you want to do, we'll pick you up in the morning at nine sharp , all right?`,
She smiled and hugged him and turned to leave giving Goniff and Casino a hug too as she walked passed them. Actor walked her to thejeep that the Sgt Major had provided and asked `Are sure you don't want to stay?`.
Angel smiled at him `I need to go home, need to grieve for him, cry forhim ,think about what I'm going to do next ,`She took both his hands in hers and as tears slid down her cheeks she said` Thank you, for everything , I do believe that you all did everything possible to keep him alive you know ,but now ,you all have to start believing that too, Craig was a soldier, he knew the risks of the job better than anyone, he always hoped that the choices he made helped to keep you alive , bring you home , but he also knew that the odds were stackedagainst him, and that every time that you got home safely was a blessing.
Please ,please don't feel guilty Actor , and don't let the others feel that way eitherCraig trusted all of you and as far as I am concerned none of you broke that trust. You were with him to the end , watching his back, you never let him feel alone out there , he always knew you would try and bail him out if he got into trouble just as he would have done for you. I am grateful Actor to all of you for everything that you did for him and I know he would feel the same, that he would want me to thank you all for being there all the times he needed you even if you did drive him crazy sometimes , so, promise me no guilt trips ,not you or the others, just believe as I do that you did everything you could for him, andbe grateful , that you all came back safely .That is the best thingyou could possibly have done for him, the most important thing`, Actor looked at her and there were tears in his eyes too `Thank you`, He said `It means a great deal that you do not hold us responsible , and I will do my best to make sure that the others feel the same way, I promise. We all cared very much for him, he was a true friend to us all , and being cons we don't have that many , he will be missed by all of us in our own way`. She hugged him and got into the jeep, unable to say anything else. She nodded to the driver and he started the jeepand drove away . Actor stood and watched her go , hoping that letting be alone was not the worst mistake he had made in a long time.,When she arrived at the cottage she went into the kitchen and made some coffee, The house felt emptier than ever, and she could not imagine that there would ever be laughter in it again. All at once it hit her that she would never see his face again, never hear his voice, never feel his kiss on her cheek as he walked passed her ,telling her he would see her later, never see his smile . He was gone. She sat on the couch and looked at the photograph of the two brothers, so alike yet so different. She starred at the images and could not believethat she had lost both of them . The tears blurred the photo , she held it close to her heart and sobbed ,and as the loneliness and grief engulfed her she cried herself to sleep .She woke with the sun streaming through the window and looking at the clock saw that it was eight thirty, She must have fallen asleep , she didn't remember. On the floor was the picture , she picked it up and looked at it and she knew then that she had to find the strength from somewhere to go on. Craig had made her promise that she would take care of them, not let them go back to their old ways. He had told her where he had kept all the money he had saved for them to give them a good start if the army didn't keep their side of the bargain, andthey had to run. He made her promise that if that happened that she would go with them , that they should take care of each other as a family should. He had told her that they needed to stay together for they were as much a part of his family now as she was . She knew that she would do what she had promised , she would be there to help them in any way she could, that they would grieve for himtogether as a family should, it was what he wanted , his last wish , and she would see to it that wish was fulfilled.
Angel heard the jeep pull up outside the house and a moment later there was a knock at the door and Actor asked if he could come in. She looked at him, he looked as if he had not had a lot of sleep either and not as immaculate as he usually did. `You don't look as if you got much rest last night `. He said She smiled `I must have dozed on the couch but to be perfectly honest I don't remember. I haven't been up long so if you want to make some coffee feel free, `I'am going to freshen up, and with that she disappeared upstairs. Actor picked up the photograph that she had left on the sofa, it was the first time he had seen a picture of them the men together and he had't realized just how much alike the two brothers had been. He stood it on the table and went to the kitchen. He didn't think she would eat anything but they had delayed breakfast at the mansion until she got there hoping that she would eat with the rest of them rather than on her own. He had the coffee on the table as she entered the room again and sat down in the chair opposite him. They drank in silence , neither one knowing what to say to comfort the other, until finally she asked ` How are the others holding up?`. He shrugged `Goniff and Casino are pretty much taking care of each other but be warned they have decided that they are going to take care of you whether you like it or not, so you had better be ready for anything , and if you can stand all the fussing round , it will probably be best for everyone to just let them get on with it as they both need to think they are helping ,and it's keeping them busy and not allowing them to much time to think about the events of the last few days.` She looked at him `But?`. She asked?`. Chief is still missing` he said, `No-one has seen him since he left the mansion yesterday , we're not even sure that he's still in the grounds, and though the Sgt Major is cutting him some slack he's not going to be able to cover up his absence for much longer`. She said `We'd better get back and try to find him, he's got to be in the grounds somewhere, and I know a lot of the places he likes to go that the others know nothing about`. Actor smiled,` I hope you're right because if Chief decides that he wants to get lost then no amount of looking will find him`. As they got into the jeep she knew that Actor was right but she knew that if she looked for him then he at least would see her, all she had to do was get near enough to him to talk to him,
As they pulled up outside the doors Goniff and Casino came out to greet her , `Bout time you got here breakfast is ready and we made it so you'd better eat it or else`. She smiled at them, they were like two mother hens, fussing round her, trying to help and not realizing how much just being there helped her so much. She let them lead her to the kitchen and sat down at the table while the two of them made toast and scrambled eggs.` Now sit and don't think about leaving the table `till that plates empty`. The food was good and she hadn't realized that she was so hungry , so doing as she had been told was an easy task , and the look on their faces as she tucked into her breakfast was priceless, they really thought that they had made her do this and were so proud of themselves for being able to help her. `Any chance of a cup of tea to go with this ?` she asked . Goniff took on the job as he said his mum had taught him to make the best cup of tea but frowned when she didn't put in any sugar. She supposed she was still in shock but not like yesterday . Today she had things to deal with , things she had promised Craig she would do, and on the top of that list was finding Chief and making sure he was alright. `That was just what I needed to start the day guys , thank you`, Goniff and Casino grinned and congratulated each other on another successful plan `.Well if you think that was good just wait until lunch time`. Casino said `You ain't seen nothing yet baby` .She laughed. I will do my best gentlemen but, my main concern today is finding Chief so I'm not promising I'll be back in time for lunch, how about we settle for supper instead?`. Casino started to clear the table `Just like a dumb Indian to disappear and ruin everyone's plans `, he grumbled , but she could see that he was just as worried as everyone else. `You want us to go with you ?`. asked Goniff .
`I don't think that's a good idea Goniff but thanks anyway I think I stand a better chance of finding him if I do this alone if he sees too many people he's just as likely too stay lost`. They grudgingly agreed `You be careful, that 's one mean Indian when he's mad` Casino said. She looked at him` He's not mad at me Casino he's just hurting`.
`Oh and we're not I suppose?`. Casino asked gruffly
`Well I don't know about you Casino ,but I hoped and prayed that I would never have to hurt this much again , but what the hell , look on the bright side, it can't ever be this bad again as I have nothing else to lose that matters any more now do I?`. She asked angrily. The minute she said it she regretted it, she lowered her head and sighed . `I'm sorry Casino, that was out of line, and just so you know , I have a great deal more I can lose`. He had his back to her as she walked up to him. `Actually four more things `. She reached out and put her hand on his arm ,and he turned to look at her, She smiled at him `If you ever need anyone to argue with I'm always here you know, and I learned to from the best , call it a family thing ,after all any Garrisons' a match for garbage can hood , don't you think?`. He laughed at her ,took her face in his hands and plonked a kiss on the top of her head. `If you don't get a move on that Indians gonna be halfway back to the reservation, and you'll never find him , not even Garrisons are that good, now go do something useful and leave us poor cons to do the chores`. She grabbed her coat said `Wish me luck `. and walked outside to search the grounds for someone she knew didn't want to be found.
Angel walked down to the streams edge and as she had done in the last two places sat down and called Chief's name and told him how much she needed him. As before there was no reply , but she was sure that he was out here somewhere she just hoped that eventually he would realize she needed to talk to him and that she was not going to give up until she found him. She was getting more and more frustrated and angry . She had been sitting there for almost half an hour and decided to move on to the next place that she hoped he might be. He has taken her to a clearing near the stream once, taken her right to the edge in the trees and told her to be very quiet. She had done exactly as he had told her and had been rewarded by the sight of a deer and her fawn coming down to the water's edge to drink, not knowing that they were there, they had watched them for some time before they had wandered back into the trees and she had just starred at the empty clearing. She had never seen anything so beautiful and had told him so, he said he came here a lot , had seen the fawn being born and had followed its progress over the last few days, and thought it was something she would like to share with him They had grown closer that day for she knew that this was not something that he had shared with anyone else, that this was a place that was special now to both of them, and somewhere they would keep secret from the rest of the guys, even Craig . It was to be one of the few places that he had found on the estate that no-one knew about, places that he had shared with her, where now she hoped she would find him.
She called his name, told him she was worried about him , asked him to let her know if he could hear her. There was no reply. As she sat there alone she felt a sadness creep over her, an emptiness that she could never hope to fill again. She had loved Craig so much, relied on him more than she had imagined, and now facing life without him just seemed too much to bear. The tears started to flow and she buried her head in her hands, feeling that she too had let him down somehow and would never now be able to make amends for the hurt she had caused him. The tears flowed freely and turned into gasping sobs, and all the pain and frustration that had been building up over the last two days suddenly reached the surface. She let out a scream without even knowing she was doing it and picked up a log near her and started to hit it against the nearest tree. She was crying uncontrollably he had left her alone, not just him but David and Sarah too ,they had all left her and she hated them all, how was she supposed to go on when every reason she had for living had gone. She took more swings at the tree trunk and then the anger spent she fell to her knees sobbing uncontrollably , not knowing if she would ever be able to stop, not caring , just feeling the loss and the grief that she knew would never go away.
Chief had watched her enter the clearing and had heard her call to him, He didn't answer, how could she possibly mean what she said, how could she need him when he had let her down so badly. He had turned to leave when he heard her scream, watched as she had taken all her anger out on the tree and then collapsed, so obviously hurting and alone. He knew he couldn't just leave her and he quietly walked up behind her and said `Angel`. At first she didn't seem to hear him, but as he put his hands on her shoulders and said `Angel`. she looked up at him and threw herself into his arms and held him so tightly.` Don't let go please don't let go`, she begged, `its alright , it's alright `. He said
`You're safe now , I'm here`. She did not answer just held him tighter , not able to control the sobs just letting him know how much she needed him.
Neither one knew how long they stayed like that , he just held her until the sobs started to ease and she could talk again.
`I'm so sorry `, he said . She saw the tears in his eyes saw the guilt he felt for letting her down, She wiped away the tears with her fingers `I love you Chief ,do you know that you dumb Indian? I love you. You are as much a brother to me as Craig was , and right now I need you more than ever, but I want your word Chief , you're solemn promise to me that you will never run again, You are not alone anymore Chief , you have a family now , and making that family worry themselves half to death about you is just not on , are you getting the message?`,
Didn't think you'd want me cause I couldn't bring him back like I promised, thought you'd think I'd let you down`. He said
She watched as his tears started again and they held each other and grieved together for the man who had meant so much to both of them.
They sat there just holding each other until both of their tears had stopped and then they just sat with her back resting against his chest and his arms wrapped around her. She felt safe and as they just sat together `You all right ?`, she asked.` Thought that losing the Warden was bad enough`, he said ` But thinking that you would blame me was more that I could bear and so I ran, wanted to stay away and not cause you any more pain`, .She turned and looked at him, `Sometimes you can be so stupid, promise me that you will always talk to me first , give us a chance to deal with whatever problem you have before you walk out of my life again.`
`You have my word`, he said
She turned and once again rested her head against his chest. She held his hands and they sat there together, just letting the peace they had found flow over them and she knew that they had at last found the trust they had once had .
Actor had decided to see if he could help Angel find Chief. The other two were driving him crazy and he had needed to get away from them for a while, He had followed the stream not really expecting to come across either of them but at least helping to look gave him a sense of purpose. As he entered the clearing he saw them ,Chief resting against a tree with Angel resting in his arms, They were both sleeping and he decided to leave them, they could both use the rest, it had been a traumatic time for all of them, but for these two more than most. He hoped they would find some comfort in each other, goodness knows they both deserved it. He walked away as quietly as he could so not to wake them and headed back to the mansion to tell the others that they could stop worrying. At least now they could all start the grieving process together and that he knew was the best thing for all of them.
As they walked back to the mansion hand in hand they said very little, just glad of each other's company , it had been a long time since they had just walked and enjoyed being together and she had missed the closeness they had found during the summer. This was a different feeling, being together now was something that they all needed, not just her and Chief , just to know that they would not be alone would make all the difference to all of them , to know that they had someone to rely on now that Craig had gone. Even just the thought of him brought a feeling of sadness to her, she still could not believe that she would not see him again, she knew the feeling would pass as it had with David and Sarah but there had always been someone there so that she had not felt alone. She realized that it had always been Craig, that no-matter what, he had always been there to put her world right again, and she did not know now how she was going to manage without him .Even when they had been apart after Sarah had died she still knew that if she had really needed him he would have moved heaven and earth to get to her .She knew that the guys would help as much as they could but no-matter how much they tried they would never be able to replace Craig in her life , no-one could ever do that, but she knew that he had meant so much to them to , that they too would never find anyone quite like the Warden ,it was going to be hard for all of them to adjust to living without him , but at least now that they were all together they had a chance..
As they entered the mansion Casino was the first to greet them. He looked at Chief` Oh look, the wanderer returns now that the rest of us have worked our fingers to the bone and everything's done. Well let me tell you something Indian we ain't doing the dishes , no sir , that's a job for you`, Angel looked at them both and saw the slight smile on their faces `Missed you too Casino `. Chief said . Casino walked away still grumbling about no good lazy Indians that expected someone to do all the work for them. Angel waited for the tirade that she thought might come but he just looked at her. `Don't know what you're so happy about, if I'm doing the washing up then you're helping too as you haven't done anything towards supper either`, They both grinned and headed for the kitchen to get a cup of coffee, the boys had decided on sausage and mash for supper as it was one of Angel's favourites too and they wanted to make sure that she would eat something before she went home. `Supper will be ready in fifteen minutes and you two had better be on time or I feed it all to Goniff`. Casino taunted. `Wouldn't miss it for anything Casino`, she said, `There's nothing like a nice relaxing walk in the woods for building up a good appetite , I'm just hoping you've cooked enough`. The tirade that followed from the kitchen as she left was proof that she had wound him up just enough and when Goniff laughingly joined in she knew that they were both all right.
Actor caught Chief as he was leaving the kitchen `Are you going to be all right Chief? `, he asked
`Yea Actor I'll be fine. Sorry if I worried you guys `.
Casino's response came from the kitchen where he had been eavesdropping as usual.
`What makes you think we were worried about you, we were just worried that we would have more chores to do `. As she headed back towards the kitchen Angel could hear all that was going on and smiled, it seemed that Casino really has been worried about Chief but would never admit to it, but they all knew that this was his way of telling Chief he was glad to have him back. They had their supper and cleared up and then they invited her to their room for a brandy. Goniff smiled said `The Warden would throw a fit if he could see us now,`. and that brought a smile to everyone's face and started a conversation that lasted most of the evening about the scrapes they had gotten into and the telling off they had been given each time, It was an evening of shared memories and it made them all feel better to be able to talk about Craig and let out some of the feelings they had bottled up. They thought that it might upset Angel to talk about him, but as the night went on she joined in with stories of her own, and had them laughing at the things he had done . There had been a side to Craig that they knew nothing about and they wished that they had found out more about the man that Angel knew and told them about that night. There had been a sense of fun about him that they had never truly found, but as Actor pointed out he could never really let himself go with them as he was their commanding officer, and if he had given them a inch they would have taken a lot more that the proverbial mile. They all agreed that he had always done his best by them and that he would be missed, that no matter who the army sent to do his job they could never replace him. Angel hoped that Craig had known the respect his men had for him even though they never showed him much when they worked together. Tonight she had tried to show them just how much he had come to care for them, but had found that not only did they know but that they had cared for him too. As the night drew to a close she decided that she would stay at the mansion as she was in no fit state to go home and as the last drink was poured the toast was THE WARDEN.