Author's Note: What the hell am I doing? I really have no idea... Why do I like to comment on fanfictions that are bad?) I shall never know. I was going to ask Curtis to help me with this, but he said no, he couldn't stand reading another troll fic. His GPA dropped from 3.9 to -4.0
AN hey guys this is the new improved verson(VERSON) of my story, hope its better this time(It's not)! btw i am young(When I was in fourth grade, I won the spelling bee. My winning words were 'damnation' and 'government') and have dyslexia(My dad thinks dyslexia is an excuse for lazy children) i find spellin hard but its meant2 be unformal (Informal) ok! no critisism pls(Constructive critisism is good!)! tis story goes out 2 my bf zac(Oh gosh, shout outs)(kisses!) amd my besfreind Tiffi LOVE YA GRRRL! EDWARD IS OUR GODD!(we wanna SEX him(My ghetto friend spoke 'I wanna sex him' like in fourth grade.) gud!) x x x x x x x love &blood becky mac! xxx x x xx(Don't forget the X's, obviously the author is an Erik X fan. i mean seriously, we get it. His last name is X, now drop it)
UPDATE: I have a proofreader and I have cleaned up the spelling and grammer on this chaptor a hell of a lot as you will see (thank u vickie!(Vickie is a horrible proofreader)) i will be imrpoving the next chaptors soon.(We can only hope)
Chapter 1 - Altantiana(Is Altantiana even a name? I know Rxe isn't, but that's the pseudonym I go by. And it seems way easier to spell than Altantiana)
Hey, my names Atlantiana Rebekah(Realize the author's name is 'Becky' which is derived from Rebekah) Loren (but everyone calls me Tiana or just plain Tiaa(Tia normally doesn't have two a's in it)). I am a 16 year old girl and I live in Forks, Washington! My hair is long and pale like spun gold and skims to my waist like a pale shimmering amber mist(A is for Amber who drowned in a pool). My eyes are deep forgetminot(Forgetmenot? Holy Curtis, we must not forget that her eyes are blue!) blue and my delicate fentures are lilly white and pure as the winter snow in moonlight(In other words, she's a virgin...). I've been told by loads of sleazy, ugly, HORNY guys(*Eye roll* Typical male stereotype... I bet you anything this is Tara Gillesbie) that I'm real pretty and look like a model or a bunny girl(The House Bunny) (some of the guys who like me are really old and try to make opt(OPT, ICP, same thing) with me its disgusting and weird!(Because basically every dude who's over 16 is a perverted pedophile... you know there are many perverted women out there too. The stupid law just gives them a break because they're so damn melodramatic))but basically a lot of the girls I meet tell a different story. They say I'm too ivory white(So she's saying these girls aren't virgins. A lot of people think I'm pretty... including Ricki) and ethereal and too skinny and that I look anorexic which i don't care about, but I think its seriously disrespectful to people with REAL eating disorders (btw i'm so totally not anorexic! I eat loads I just never gain weight and I'm not thin enough to be anorexic anyways(And she just said it wasn't nice to make fun of anorexic people...plus, I bet she's fat.), I think they were just being BIATCHES(They're called 'bitches'. Did I ever tell you the time my good friend Curtis Jackson got called a bitch? He beat the dumbass up) especially this one ratty brain called Ellie(I had an imaginary friend named Ellie in second grade. I was a real loner back in elementary. My only real friend was Curt) Mayfair who I hope freaking DIES in PAIN with SHIT ON HER FACE(Nettie finds this gross, what the fuck is up with shit? Is it in?)! Sorry, I'm not really such a batch but she is SO horrible(I am not a bad girl even if I do bad things, very bad things, such horrible things) if you met her you'd think the same!(I'd have to meet her first)
Anyways I am quite tall(So all beautiful women are tall? My mom is of average height and she is very beautiful. Nettie's mother is 4'9 and she is still beautiful. My friend Garrison would marry her) and slim and but with really big boobs that I used to HATE because they look noticeable on my slender body(I'm suddenly glad I have a size B) and draw to much attention but now i like them and don't care who stares at me(I heard girls with big boobs are very self conscious about them. I heard they hurt your back a lot)! I have a lip ring and recently put black and indigo and magenta streaks in my long pale blond hair(Pale blonde? Nettie has a very natural blonde... but I do not know what you would call it). I smell like mint and cinnamon(Ricki gave a shampoo that smelled that way to Curtis for Christmas... he threw it away the next day). I wear mostly black and hot pink, deep purple and neon blue and listen to COOL music!(Like My Chit Reeks)
It is my first day at school in forks as I just moved here to live with new foster parents Dave and Marie(My middle name's Marie... BTW, I just read the author's profile. She says having a long name is long. My name is actually Janet Catherine Marie Kensington- Rex. I have two freaking last names! I like the 'Rex' more). They are nice and all very hole some(She forgot the w in whole) sweet people but it is not like having a real family. I've been hurt to many times to let people close to me and I don't talk to them very much(Cause you're depressed). My real mom died when I was born and I never knew my real dad(It's Cauis). I sometimes wonder what he is like and if I will ever get to met him(She will, when she has some sort of epiphany). Dave gave me a ride to school and I smiled faintly as he wished me good luck and I got out of the car and went into the school. Loads of people freaking stared at me as I walked down the hall. I was wearing tight black leather pants with silver chains at the waste(She's made out of waste...?) and a red fishnet-like top and you could see my black lacy bra through it(Well of course they would look at you! People look at me when I wear my widow's veil headband. I don't mind. People stare at Curt and his enormous selection of pants and black vests). I ignored whispers and the big pink cheerleader imbosils(She means imbecils) pointing at me. I was used to it and I paid no at-tension to the guys asking desperately for my number(like hell I'd even LOOK at the horny little donkeys!(Why is every guy attracted to her?)) and told a ditsy blond cheerleader called Jessica(Jessica's a short, fucking brunnette!) to STFU(!) when she called me a freak! Next time she tries anything I'll hit her in the eye(Bauhaus reference!) cause NO ONE messes with me nemore(Lenore, nemore)! My first day I was relay board(You were on the relay board?), I sat gazing out of the window into the gray cloud-embittered sky for most of the morning, My teachers all looked at me disprovable but said nothing cause they probably new I was a foster kid and a Gothic and didn't want to upset me in case I cut them up as they slept,(That's very sadistic... the worse I ever said to a teacher was 'Shut up'... I got in a lot of trouble).
My ears are pierced four times, I have a tattoo of a scorpion(like S my birth-sign!(And she's sixteen? I think you have to be eighteen or older to get a tattoo. Ricki's getting one for his eighteenth birthday)) on my ankle and a Gothic cross on my shoulder(Well, at least she didn't say she was a Satanist), and on my hand i have a weird birthmark in the shape of a seven-pointed star that I've had all my life(No... it's a birthmark!). Your probably wandering why I'm bothering to tell you this, well I tell you now I am no ordinary sixteen year old girl(No, you're a vampire). I have a secret, a dark and forbidden secret witch I am only just beginning to understand(Dark... forbidden... secret). When I sleep I hear whispers in another language(
Curtis: Give it up for Erik's My-suh Space page!
Erik: My-suh Space page?
Curtis: Yeah, I'm speaking in tongues)
and even though I understand them at the time, when I wake up i can't remember it(Cause they're speaking in tongues...I think Curtis has a speech impediment)! I also see weird faces in my dreams that fade to nothingness when I open my eyes and I swear out the corner of my eye my birthmark glows shocking bright gold and gets relay hot sometimes but when I look properly it is back to normal boarding scar-color(Boarding scar color)! I am really gracefull like the running anti-lopes(LOL. First, the anti- Santa, now, the anti-lopes) when I run very fast and am stronger and faster than most people(Of course, because your taller... actually, Curt's tall and he's the weakest person I know). I used to just think i was relay athletic but now I'm not so sure, I think there might be something else at work, something so much more mysterious and eeire(They're called hormones). The truth hovers so softly on the brink of my memory sometimes but if only i could remember the weird things that clung to the edge of my mind as I slept!(That made no sense)
At lunch I sat alone in the corner and scanned the cafeteria quietly with my eyes smoldering dark blue(Your eyes were smoldering dark blue?) beheath my long black lashes and my slim thighs curled under me(Slim thighs curled under her feet). It was the n I noticed an unbelievably jaw-droopingly hawt HAWT HAAAAAAAAWT(Don't forget the HAAAWWWWWTTTTTT) dude with tusseted blondey-brown hair, golden yellow eyes like wells of hot caramel (Worst simile ever! Let's give her a standing ovation)and pale sexy features(Dude, I can like see your cheeckbone. It just popped out). He was tall and mussel(the clams were hanging off his nipples) and looked like he was wearing eyeliner and my body got hot and cold all at once(According to Miss. Necrophilia, corpses cannot get hot) as I looked at him. I'd never felt this way about anyone before and I'd totally never felt this weird feeling that I'd met someone before but I had no idea where and i knew it was impassible because I'd freaking remember someone THAT hawt! A girl sat next to him with long brown hair with her arms dripped over him like a freaking flesh-eating plant(Little Shop of Horrors) so i thought well whatevah, hes taken. She wasn't nearly as hawt as he was, she wasn't ugly though(Because Mary-Sue, I mean Tia, was the hottest girl ever. Garrison told me that he finds her as appealing as a rotting fish). I figured I was maybe prettier then her. I never really saw myself as beautiful but i'd guessed from thinks others had said, plus this girl wasn't great looking(Bella's actually very pretty, she just lacks in personality, a sense of humour, and has no taste in fashion :D) but anyways I'd never try to pilch with another girls' BF cause thats just low(All Time Low). So I got up to leave the hall thinking I'd go and smoke some bald drugs(Drugs are bald!) in the locker room while no one was there. As I waked over to he exit I couldn't help but notice the hawt pale guys musky eyes as they met mine(Just like in the actual book). I locked away hurriedly. I smocked dope(She made a smock out of dope
) in the locker room for a bit then I wondered to my next class. I bumped into someone in the corridor and my bocks fell everywhere! FRICK! FRICK! FRIIIICKK!(FRIIIICCCCKKKK)
"WTF!" I screamed loudly, "watch where your FREAKING going you asshole!" (i have anger problems)(We know that. I'm hungry. Curtis, get me a bowl of Count Chocula, cause if I eat anything else, then I'm a prep)
"I'm so so sorry" he said in a voice like wet heaven(That sounds so fucking gross) "please forgive me my lady"(So now he's the highwayman...thanks for ruining my favorite poem, you bitch!)
It was the hawt pale guy! (No lie... Curt actually shot water out of his nostrils when he read this)