~*[EDIT: The August Version!] Yes, I deleted all of my stories, so no, you're not going crazy. My writer's notes always consist of me cursing. If you're offended by cursing, my fanfictions aren't for you. I don't know anymore really. I decided to re-upload AAAAAND rewrite this and all my other stories because I can AND I am like a boss. Nope, I'm fucking with ya. I'll be brutally honest. THEY. SUCKED. My spacebar is also acting like a jackass. I struck a chord and NOT ze good kind. GODDAMN IT, WHY CAN'T I WRITE A FANFICTION? I'm not feeling at my best, so excuse the lack of excitement in my voice at the moment. But anyways, here's the drill:
This might be all cheesy and shit and similar to all of the other RusxAme on here and I apologize. I didn't steal and hell, I didn't even know if some parts were the same or had the same idea until after I uploaded. I'm no longer the best writer I used to be anymore, so prepare to have some non-asstastic shit come your way. Go ahead, make fun of my pain! *sobs* Anyways on a serious note..
DISCLAIMER: As all of my Hetalia stories, Hetalia:Axis Powers (Axis Powers Hetalia), is owned and created by Hidekaz Himaruya. This is used only for the purpose of fun, not for keepsies. Please don't sue me ;_;. Anyways, let's get on with the story. {You do know this is an optional read right?}~*
I felt skeptical. Going over to America's house for a party usually never ended well. I didn't want to spend another night alone though so following my gut, I got up and left. I couldn't even knock on the door when it suddenly opened.
"Aiya! Russia, you finally made it, aru~!" I couldn't even respond, he passed out and fell into my arms. The sake he was holding, spilled all over my jacket.
"Ah hell! Not my favorite jacket!" I groaned before taking it off and tossing on on the coat hook.
"That's your ONLY coat, silly." France said "Oh, is that China? I knew something was going on between you two, ohonhonhohon~." I glared at him before shoving China into him.
"You watch him, I didn't come here for this." Great. Now I was already mad and it hadn't been an even five minutes in here.
'I should go..' I thought to myself. All of a sudden, someone else grabbed onto my shoulder.
"Ah..baby brother. Don't leave! If you're worried about Belarus, she's not here. Just enjoy yourself, and try not to drink too much!" Ukraine said, running off. I sighed and shook my head. Pushing through people, I made it to the back where everyone esle was.
"Ivan! You made it! I thought for sure you'd be out again. Great seeing you here, buddy." Alfred chuckled. He blinked.
"Wait..something's different about you." He walked a circle around me until he realized.
"Ah, your coat. Where is it?" "Eh...it's a bit of a long story. China passed out on me and spilled the sake he was drinking on my coat. I took it off. YES, I took it off. Take a picture, do whatever you have to to remember this."
I sat down. I knew this would be a bad night. We all started drinking. As usual, France and Britain got into an argument and then soon after they both left. America was drunk within 15 minutes.
"I need more Latvian wine!" said Senegal, as she hung upside down.
"Ugh, I've had enough of the tree foolishness!" I took out my ax and started swinging at the tree.
"Hey! That looks like a phallic symbol!" She giggled.
"Hey! We all know about your stuff, man! There's no need to brag!" America chimed in.
"Eh? What?" "I took pictures at the Christmas party! We all know your hung like a horse!"
"Oh god...Alfred, please stop!" I was now blushing.
"Dude, what'd you do to get it like that?" He chuckled before toppling over, passing out.
"Oh! Is he dead?" asked Feliciano.
"I dunno...let's poke it with a stick." replied Romano.
"Ve~, good idea!" We all crowded over him.
"Okay, poke em'!" yelled Romano. Feliciano poked him once. He jumped up suddenly, making us all jumped back in fright.
"Ah...my fucking head." "Ah, you're up!" I kicked him.
"WHAT THE HELL MAN! IT'S BAD ENOUGH I GOT THIS MASSIVE, PAINFUL ASS HEADACHE AND THEN YOU GO AND KICK ME?" he yelled.
"It's payback for what you've done! Once again, you've said more than you should've!"
"Huh? Wait, what did I do?" "You talked about my sex instrument!" I said sourly.
"Eh? I -I did? I don't remember sorry!" I grabbed him by the collar.
"I'll have to make you remember then!" I yelled.
"P-Please Russia! Don't kill me!" he begged. "Hmm..you're right." I dropped him.
"I mean...it's not like you ever liked me anyways..so why does it mater that I fucked up this time again?" I walked away. I felt bad. I probably scared his the most out of everyone I've ever intimidated. The party raged on. It was slowly ending and I felt something bugging me. I glanced at him as I watched him pace back and forth. I knew what I had to do.
"Hey Alfred...can I talk to you in private?" "Hm..? Well sure." He said. He walked opened the door behind him that lead to another half of the house. I followed him through. The door shut and we stood quiet and motionless in the hallway. I coughed nervously.
"Alfred..." I started. "Yes? What did you want to talk to me about, Russia?"
"...it's not your fault..?" "..Um..Ivan?" he asked.
"What?" "Why?" "Because I overreacted that's why...it wasn't that big of a deal and I made it one. "
"No..I shouldn't have gotten drunk to that point.." "Well, you did come from Arthur and you know how he gets..and I know how I get. I just..."
"Heh! I guess that's true." "...yeah.." "I mean if I were in your shoes, I wouldn't have been as merciful. If anyone would have dissed Florida.." he stopped and cracked his knuckles.
"But wait, I'm sorry. What were you going to say?"
"It wasn't worth killing you though, Alfred. We're countries and if we die..so do the people who live in us."
"..I suppose that's true. I remember us when we used to compete neck and neck. Haha..."
"I won't lie. Those were the good days. Let's go back to those days. Also, it's not that I've never liked you...it's your attitude I've had a problem with. You as a person, is cool. So..are we cool?"
"Okay! Good idea, but no nuke scares. That almost made me shiz in my pants man. The only reason I said those things was because I was scared of being your friend and fucking up."
"Sorry about that. It was affirmitive action." "But yeah, we're cool. But on a completely different note, what's up with you and China?"
"We-well..what about that?" I panicked. "I don't know...do you guys 'like' each other?" "That..that's uh...nothing.." I walked out of the room. "Okay I see..you guys would make each other happy though." I ran back in.
"Say what?" "Nothing! Nothing..I was just mumbling to myself." I glared at him.
"You'd make Iggy happy." I mumbled. He walked out.
"It's nothing! I'm just gonna go now. Plus Iggy's with France and I look at him as a father figure. I followed him.
"How fun. You've thought about it though. Admit it."
"No, I haven't! Because I...I...ugh!" He ran off. I dashed after him.
"I thought I told you to stop hiding your feelings, America!" He picked up speed.
"It would ruin us! It would ruin our friendship!" I stopped. "...ah I see." "So if not Iggy...then who?" I thought to myself. I began to walk in the opposite direction. "I heard something about him and Kim...but only he would know for sure."
I continued in the other direction. I heard his footsteps stop.
"Ivan...I'm sorry. I can't tell you how I feel. I don't wanna hurt anyone. And no...it's not Kim. Wait Ivan!" I stopped. He had tears in his eyes and falling down his cheeks. I looked at him.
"Hm..?" "Find happiness, please. Be happy. I couldn't make you happy, only upset." He smiled sadly and turned back around. Still facing him, I grew angry.
"Haha..funny! No one likes me. I'm living a lie! Only the flag remains close to my heart...it's my only friend." I was beginning to tear up.
"Ivan...you know that isn't true at all!" I didn't want to hear it anymore. I turned back around and continued walking.
"You know it isn't true because Ivan, I...I.." He realized I was walking away.
"No!" He ran at top speed and crashed into my back. His momentum made us both fall forward. "I love you okay? I LOVE YOU! Are you really that naive?" He backed off.
"But I'll only be trouble to you and hardships. So I don't mind if you don't feel the same way." I was that naive...I didn't know he felt that way. I turned over.
"You...can't possibly mean that." "...hit me if you feel like it. Take your anger out on me! I don't care. I just needed to tell you." "What...why...? Why would I hit you? Ugh...why does everyone hate me so much? I'm not all violent and sadistic! I have a heart! I have feelings!"
"It's true. Every word. I swear on my flag and pride as a country. And if you hate me, then so be it. Because no matter what you do..."
"Alfred, I don't hate you!" "I don't hate you either! So let me finish!" "What more...could you possibly say?" I stood. "Ivan...I may not have the powers to replace everything, but I'll try to make you happy if you give me a chance." He pulled me into a hug.
"Because I do care! I do, Ivan!" I pulled away from the hug. I looked away. "What the hell. It's not like I have anything to lose."
"Ivan, look at me. If you don't share my feelings , you won't be truly happy. If you're willing to be with me just because im an escape from this life, then don't even bother."
"I'm trying to tell you I don't have the same feelings. I love you more than you think!"
"I knew it. You don't share the same feelings. It was the spur of the moment. I love you Ivan, and I want you to be happy. But you're thick headed and stubborn. You think no one in this world will love you. Well someone who loves you is right here and you just want an escape. Do you know hom much that hurts? Do you?"
He pushed me against the wall. The wind got knocked out of me for a second.
"Those words felt like gunshots, Alfred. You don't understand." "Oh whatever, Ivan! Pick yourself up. Do you really love me? Do you understand love? Give me a crazy answer and I swear I'll fucking kill you myself..!"
"...go ahead." I did something I never did. I backed off the wall and started to unwrap my scarf. I tossed it down. He gasped. "What..what...?" He came closer and touched them.
"You didn't believe me..I meant what I said. I do love you. No one know about these...besides Ukraine. These are from the Cold War, if your wondering." He hugged me tightly. "You're confusing! You said you didn't share my feelings. Don't do that again!" "I'm sorrry..Russians are confusing."
"Not all of the time...you can speak in riddles. However, I'll always solve them not matter what.." he smiled up at me. He grabbed onto my hand. "This time make sure it stays buried in your mind. I love you, Ivan Braginski..."
*~ LOLWUUUUUT? What was Ukraine's big chested self doing there? I don't know. It was feeling right at the time, I mean, it COULD have been Natalia (Belarus) and this WAS written in June. Oh wellz. I'll try again next time. Ugh, ORZ! Reviews would be loooovely~* :)