Prologue
Isolation was a term Gohan new like the back of his hand. Destruction and fear soon made themselves at home in his dictionary. Duty was the next to be added. He had started collecting these words before his memory had been fully functional. Looking back his first slivers of recollection weren't of his mother's warm embrace or of the rough, calloused palm of his father's palm against his forehead; instead, it was the cold bite of the wind as he sat alone on a towering plateau above the rest of the wasteland.
It was something he'd carry close to his chest for years to come. It was an anchor, reminding him of what he had to be and what he had to let go. Sometimes, when the Earth was safe and the minutes dragged on like millennia, he wondered, no anticipated, when the next threat would arise. Those were the nights he hated himself most. The nights he hated that his father only showed up when Earth was in danger— hated that he preferred the call of a fight over his family. Gohan knew it wasn't his fathers' fault. The primordial call was in him, too; those peaceful nights he could hear the banging of the gong, the hammering of drums, could feel the urge to move, to go, to fight crawling beneath his skin. But unlike his father, he ignored the itch.
Ignoring the call was temporary, a slippery solution, but his fear kept a tight hold on his will. He was afraid, he couldn't pinpoint what caused such a knee-weakening fear, instead, he chose to clump it together with everything else. His fears were plentiful and they tore at his defenses with every fight, every spar. When he drew the line, he knew he was most afraid of hurting people, but he was also afraid of what would happen to him if he did give in to the call. Gohan felt that if he let go he may never come back, he'd be swept away under the waves and never come back up, and he knew that if he did, in fact, go under, he'd be okay with it.
He would let himself drown.
No matter how hard he tried to fight the current the irresistible flood of rage and power would eventually erode his defenses and leave him vulnerable against the tide. It would take away his insecurities, but at what cost?
Welcome to my first Dragon Ball fanfiction, I promise the chapters will be way, waaaaay longer, but the prologue is important and needs to remain separated from the chunk that is chapter one. A quick explanation for those that want to know if following or reading this fic is what they should do: This is a look at canon with a darker, or rather, more realistic Gohan starting from the beginning of the series and ending at the Cell Games, everything past the Cell Games will be considered Au. I am undecided on how far this story will go or if I'll go all the way to super. If I do, obviously you can go ahead and disregard super as by that point the canon will have no hold on this fic. Leave a review or PM me and let me know your thoughts!