Aerial shot of Hyrule castle
Announcer: "Welcome to Hyrule! A place of magic and prosperity! A glowing beacon of world progress. I'm your host, Meta Knight, and join us as we take you through the daily lives of the women from Super Smash Bros."
Interview with Zelda
"My name is Zelda. I'm the princess of Hyrule and fighter in the Super Smash Bros tournament. I have everything I've always wanted and more. If these girls think they can take my spot away, they're in for a world of hurt!" Zelda made an evil angry expression then become cheerful the next second. "I treat everyone with respect."
Interview with Peach
"My name is Peach Toadstool, princess of the mushroom kingdom. You may be inclined to believe that my boyfriend is more popular but I'm just as popular. I even starred in my own game. People even make fanart of me. Here, look at this one!" Peach pulled out a lewd picture of herself in a bikini. "Peach I think that's more demeaning to your image than it is helpful." said Samus from across the room. "Oh Samus. She's been away from Earth for so long, she doesn't know what true love is."
Interview with Samus
"I'm Samus Aran, bounty hunter. Unlike these women, I have actual experience fighting. I most often serve as the mediator of the group to keep the peace. These women haven't had a challenging day in their life. They've been raised by their rich parents with a silver spoon in their mouths. When they do come across hardships they cry and whine about how life doesn't treat them fair. I think I would make an excellent candidate for the princess of Hyrule."
Interview with Rosalina
"My name is Rosalina, overseer of the Planet Observatory and the cosmos. Even though I am not from this planet I am honored to be a participant on this program. I do hope to make friends with the other women here."
Interview with Palutena in Skyworld
"I am Palutena, the goddess of Skyworld. Even though the affairs of Earth don't apply to me, I received an invitation to be on the televised program. I was going to reject until I found out that my female cohorts from the tournament would be there as well. At that announcement, I was overjoyed to participate. However, when I found out it would be only women, I was mildly concerned. But that has no bearing on my enjoyment. I wish everyone the best."
Interview with Daisy
"Hey everyone! My name's Daisy. Though you probably already knew that. I'm that hard hitting, goal striking, five time winner of the Dreamland baking contest, princess of the Sarasaland kingdom! I've been on the cover of Hyrule weekly, Mushroom inquirer, and the Kanto sun times. However, it wasn't always this way. It took a lot of time to get where I am now."
Flashback
"Luigi, who is going to go meet with little Timmy's teacher?! You're out of a job, I'm taking care of three kids, and I work 9-9!" Daisy held in both of her arms two crying babies. Luigi sat in a chair with a bottle in his hand. "Go tell Mario." "You can't rely on your brother for everything! Also, who's going to pay the insurance!? Insurance rates rose by 50% this past weekend! Ugh, you're no help at all! I'm leaving and taking the kids!" Luigi rose up from his seat and went on his knees pleading, "Wait! Don't go! You're all I have left in this world!" "Oh give me a break! Screw you and your failed ghost hunting business!" "Hey don't talk smack about my ghost hunting company! I was a hero! People looked up to me!" Daisy began crying. "I'm sorry but I have to go." Daisy, crying children in hand, went off into her yellow car and sped off. There sat Luigi, forlorn and without much to live for.
End Flashback
"I'm sorry." Daisy shed a tear and wiped them off with a napkin. "It's okay." said Meta Knight from behind the camera. "However, now I'm here, with the past behind me. I'm gonna show these girls who's boss!"
Interview with Lucina and Robin
"I'm Lucina." "And I'm Robin." Lucina put her hand through her hair. "I'm the princess of Ylisse and daughter of Chrom." "We stopped Grima from resurfacing and saved the world!" Lucina looked at Robin with a puzzling look. "Um I don't think…" "That's what happened!" "Anyway, we're excited to be here to once again-" Robin fell asleep on Lucina's shoulder. "Goodnight mommy. Can you tuck me in?" "Uwaa! Robin this is embarrassing!" "Yes Marth. Make me your cum-" Lucina covered Robin's mouth before she could finish that sentence. "Thank you for your time." Lucina smiled nervously.
Interview with Inkling girl
*Incomprehensible woomy noises*
Interview with Bayonetta
"I'm Bayonetta. I hunt angels. Had that one brown haired kid constantly running away from me and hiding behind his mother I would presume. On that topic, why would the Super Smash Bros tournament allow children? Isn't that a safety hazard? Zelda should be glad that I'm her successor. I would make a Hyrule a much better place."
"And those are our contestants! Who will become the next princess of Hyrule? What lengths will these girls go for fame and glory? Find out on Princess Wars!"