Note and Disclaimer: These are Elphaba's thoughts after she went to The Emerald City and returned to Kiamo Ko. I wrote this when I was in high school as a vocabulary assignment, I always really liked it but I needed to use "synonyms" on Word to read it now, you should feel free to, too. Wicked and its characters belong to Gregory Maguire.
Candid Musings
A Wicked Fanfiction
By: DaggerQuill
Too soon she was reminded that her longing for home was simply a fallacy. Upon her return she even shocked herself by her disdain for her milieu. The loquacious companions she has left were now constantly asking for tales of her journey. Her only response was to revile them for their foolish questions. Only in her tortured dreams did she feel peace.
Night visions would never satiate her desire to reunite with her lost love. She feared what life he would choose if she was juxtapose to his wife and children. Still she stayed with them for nebulous reasons. They had welcomed her into their home and, days had turned into perfunctory weeks, and now she was a resident of the castle. The house treated her with a cold urbane. Everyone knew the one thing she wanted they would never grant.
Her choice to act as emissary to those who needed her was lucid to herself. She wished her love could have stayed separate from her tasks. She hoped her mission could remain only in banter, a verisimilitude to his naive nature. He refused to acquiesce to her will, resulting in his bloody denouement. Now her only catharsis can come from them, Forgiveness.
All of her life she was characterized as lugubrious, mordant, and bellicose. She could make so few understand her true nature, a diffident, convoluted woman. The few people she had any affection for had left her through death, or lack of loyalty. Her extreme views did not fit into their status-quo. So she lived her life pushing everyone else away, so even if they truly loved her, she would never hurt again.
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