Disclaimer: I own nothing! YOU CAN'T MAKE ME!!!! [grabs a flame thrower]
Morpheus: Numbers are fun... especially when they confuse you... that's why I love school!
Director: That isn't your line. You're not even supposed to be in this scene.
Morpheus: Says who?!
Police guy: Okay! We've caught you! Deploy full body search! That should be fun...
Trinity: Darn. I can I just finish downloading this music?
Police guy: Um... no.
Trinity: Then I'll just have to finish you. [Matrix kick]
Police guy: Ow.
Trinity: Go me... go me... I get a trenchcoat... go me...
Agent Smith: Me to the rescue... Go viruses... Go viruses...
Trinity: It's times like these we should be advertising for Nike. [jumps]
Agent Smith: I can fly too! [jumps]
Trinity: I'm so cool, I can travel through phone lines!
Agent Smith: Well I'm even cooler because I can possess anybody connected to the Matrix!
Trinity: Um... well I'm gone!
[later]
Neo: I'm not going until I get my !@#$ éclair!
Director: You can get the éclair after this scene.
Neo: No! I refuse! [attacks director]
Everybody else: o_o
Trinity: Coffee coffee COFFEE!!!!! [runs around in circles screaming "Coffee"] Drink coffee! It's good for the soul!
[much later]
Neo: I get my eclaaiiiir! I get my eclaaaaiiir! ^_^ Wait, we're rolling?
Computer: Dude! Wassup Neo?
Neo: I thought my name was Mr. Anderson.
Computer: That's what they want you to think... Besides, Neo is a much cooler name and when you rearrange it, it spells "one"!
Neo: ...
Lady with the white rabbit: I'm too hot for you to refuse this offer.
Neo: ...
Trinity: You are a prisoner of American capitalism (aka Matrix).
Neo: You remind me of a pastry... especially éclairs.
Trinity: o.o What's that supposed to mean?!
Neo: So delicious...
[Next scene]
Neo: What do you mean hop to the next window?! I'm over thirty stories high!
Morpheus: Coward.
Agent Smith: I know what you did last summer.
Neo: -_- zzzzzzzz
Agent Smith: o.o
Neo: Do you have pronunciation problems or something? You talk even faster in Lord of the Rings.
Agent Smith: Um... hey! Robot bug, meet Mr. Anderson!
[later]
Neo: Why am I always shown sleeping every like two scenes?!
Director: You like it. Don't deny it.
Trinity: Just take off your shirt so I can stick something else in you and suck the thing out.
Trinity: Where did you learn to drive, goddammit!
Switch: Internet.
Robot Bug: I hate my job.
Morpheus: I'm the coolest leader ever cuz' my glasses stay on my face BY THEMSELVES! ^_^
Neo: o.o
Morpheus: [holding out two pills]: Take the blue pill, and you will be revealed the real world. Take the red pill, and you will be revealed the real world.
Neo: What's the difference?
Morpheus: The colors. Preeeeeetty colors....
Neo: Don't you have doughnuts?
Morpheus: No.
Neo: Damn. I'll take the red one.
Neo: Dude, your mirror is eating me. How many times are you going to refer to Alice and the Looking Glass?!
Morpheus: Warning: Watch for an abundance of symbolism.
Neo: o.o?
[later]
Director: Where the hell is Neo?
A movie worker guy: I think he's in the closet.
Director: [By the closet] Neo?
Neo [inside the closet]: Mmmmm.... Oh yeah.... [breathes heavily]
Director: [opens closet] O_O What the hell...?
Neo [eating cheesecake]: [surrounded by food] What?
Director: Your scene again.
Neo: Damn. And I was having so much fun.
Director: Right... wait a minute... where's Trinity?
Neo: [points to snack table]
Trinity: Have wonderful coffee! [shoves coffee down janitor's throat]
Janitor: [splutterchoketwitch]
Neo: I'm shirtless again? Well hey hey!
[later]
Neo: Needles and things stuck in me freak me out.
Morpheus: Well sucks for you. [plugs Neo in]
Neo: I know kung fu. Now that's what I call downloadin'!
Everybody else: They're gonna fight! [brings out popcorn and stares at a relatively small screen]
Morpheus: [powslashkickelbowblockbam]
Neo: [bamblockelbowkcikslashpow]
Neo: Unexpected come back!
Morpheus: Tank, did you download the updated kung fu version?
Tank: Maybe...
[Scene changes to the Jump simulation]
Neo: You know, ever since that incident with the climbing to the other window earlier, I had a thing against heights.
Morpheus: Whatever. [jumps]
Neo: o.o
Neo: [runs]
Director: Cut! Get the stunt double!
Stunt double: Wha-[gets pushed off the ledge] Ow.
[Scene changes to imitation Matrix world]
Neo: Hello pretty lady...
Agent: Who you callin' lady?
Trinity: [runs into scene shaking and twitching] C-c-c-coff-f-fee outoutoutoutout ofofofofof co-co-coffee!
Director: You're not in this scene:
Trinity: Why not? The camera has been away from me much too long!
Director: Well, you're in the next one.
Trinity: And when is the next one? Aren't I a main character? Are you implying that I'm an untalented freak? Is that it? I thought you loved me!
Director: Shush! Not here! Now is not the time!
Neo: "Loved"? I thought you loved me!
Morpheus: I thought she loved me!
Director: _ Trinity! You have to choose one!
Trinity [shifting eyes often]: No I don't! [throws smoke bomb on floor. When the smoke disappears she is seen walking out the studio door]
Director: Great. Now we need a Trinity substitute.
Switch: I'll be her!
Director: But you're already another character...
Switch: ... that dies.
Director: You have blonde hair.
Switch [wearing a black wig]: No I don't.
Director: [sigh] Fine whatever.
Switch: YES!
Neo: o.o
Cypher: I shall now reveal my traitorous ways.
Neo: We're off to see the Wizard! The wonderful Wizard of Oz! ^_^
Kid: The spoon isn't there.
Neo: Uh, yeah it is. Anybody who can see can see that there's a spoon right there.
Kid: Well anybody who can TRULY see can see that there's NO spoon.
Neo: Whoa... brain overload...
Oracle: Have a cookie.
Neo: No thanks.
Oracle: HAVE A COOKIE!!! [strangles Neo]
Neo: All right! All right!
Oracle: Someone's going to sacrifice myself... you're going to have to make a choice... [shakes magic 8 ball again] and that's just about it.
Neo: Okay then... Could you be a little more specific?
Oracle: Now the details you have to find out for yourself.
Neo: You just don't know, do you?
Oracle: Of...course I do. [shifts eyes a couple of times] [throws a smoke bomb. When the smoke clears, she is seen climbing out a window]
Neo: Aww... is oo a cute wittle bwack kitty...Wait a minute...BLACK KITTY?! AAAUUUGGGHHHH!!!!!!
Morpheus: What did I tell you?
Switch/Trinity: Glitch in the Matrix! Hee hee! See? I can do Trinity!
Director: [sigh] Just get on with it.
Morpheus: Since I'm so cool, I get to sacrifice myself! [pow] ...and get brain damage.
Ace: [dies]
Switch: [dies]
Tank: [dies]
Neo: Um... why are they dying?
Switch/Trinity: Cypher unplugged their minds.
Neo: Oh.
Switch/Trinity: And yes, he is the one.
Tank: [undies] Let's see how you like it when you get a hole burned into your body!
Cypher: Ow. [dies]
Director: Hey, Ace! You're supposed to be dead!
Ace: Well, the undead gotta eat 'n' pee, you know. [walks away]
Director: But you're DEAD.
Ace: Well if I'm walkin' right now, I'm not, now am I?
Neo and Switch/Trinity: [back in real world]
Neo: So... what do we do with the dead?
Switch/Trinity: We're supposed to be crying?
Tank: Well, they ARE dead. Now that Morpheus is captured, we need to unplug him.
Neo: Wait a minute... This is a chance to prove myself worthy! Load the guns, baby!
Switch/Trinity: I'm going.
Neo: Why? A hot chick like you shouldn't be going.
Switch/Trinity: Morpheus means more to me than you... unless you're gay.
Neo: Good point...
Security Guard: Please remove any metallic items... Whoa... nice collection of -[shot apart]
Neo and Switch/Trinity: [powpowpowpowbangbangbangbangbambambambamshootshootshootshoot]
Everyone else in the room: [shot down and dies]
Room: Ow.
Director: Millions of dollars spent just to be shot apart... [sob]
Agent: You can't beat my dodging power! [dodge!]
Switch/Trinity: Oh really? [bam] I love that line! "Dodge this!" "Dodge this!" "Dodge this!" "Dodge this!" Hee hee! Oooo pretty helicopter!
Agent Smith: Humans suck. If you tell me the numbers, then you won't have to deal with me any longer.
Morpheus: o.o
Agent Smith: Tell me the numbers, damn it!
Morpheus: o.o
Window: [break]
Neo: You're sounding more and more like a telemarketer. [bangbangbangbang etc.]
Switch/Trinity: Don't shoot Morpheus! Geez.
Morpheus: [jumps]
Neo: [also jumps]
Both: [clash!]
Switch/Trinity: [pilot!]
Neo and Morpheus: [unclash!]
Switch/Trinity: [jumps!]
Helicopter: [crash!]
Building: [ripple effect! Then collapse!]
All three remaining: [escape!]
Neo: I'm always the last to be sent! Why me?
Agent Smith: So that you can show off your kung fu fightah moves! Woo-aaahh... [strikes a pose]
Director: I told you not to do that!
Both: [fight!]
Neo: [flee]
Agent Smith: [possess!]
Neo: I'm so close!
Agent Smith: ...Yet so far. [bam]
Neo: [dies]
Switch/Trinity: Yay! I get to kiss Neo now!
Trinity: [jumps into scene wearing a cape] Not on my watch! Me to the rescue! [kicks Switch off set]
Director: As much as I find that freaky, I'm thankful.
Trinity: [kiss!]
Neo: [undies!]
Jesus: Quit imitating me!
Neo: Blame the writer for that. Besides, Morpheus DID warn us. [possesses Agent Smith]
Agent Smith: [explodes]
Agents: [flee]
Neo: ^^ Yay! I'm bad! I'm bad! I'm bad! Uh hunh uh hunh uh hunh!
Trinity: Um... Neo? No time for dancing! Frickin' sentinels are about to destroy us!
Neo: Fine... end my fun why don't you...
Director: [slowly walking out door]
Trinity: You need wonderful coffee!!!!!!!!! [runs after him]
Morpheus: Numbers are fun... especially when they confuse you... that's why I love school!
Director: That isn't your line. You're not even supposed to be in this scene.
Morpheus: Says who?!
Police guy: Okay! We've caught you! Deploy full body search! That should be fun...
Trinity: Darn. I can I just finish downloading this music?
Police guy: Um... no.
Trinity: Then I'll just have to finish you. [Matrix kick]
Police guy: Ow.
Trinity: Go me... go me... I get a trenchcoat... go me...
Agent Smith: Me to the rescue... Go viruses... Go viruses...
Trinity: It's times like these we should be advertising for Nike. [jumps]
Agent Smith: I can fly too! [jumps]
Trinity: I'm so cool, I can travel through phone lines!
Agent Smith: Well I'm even cooler because I can possess anybody connected to the Matrix!
Trinity: Um... well I'm gone!
[later]
Neo: I'm not going until I get my !@#$ éclair!
Director: You can get the éclair after this scene.
Neo: No! I refuse! [attacks director]
Everybody else: o_o
Trinity: Coffee coffee COFFEE!!!!! [runs around in circles screaming "Coffee"] Drink coffee! It's good for the soul!
[much later]
Neo: I get my eclaaiiiir! I get my eclaaaaiiir! ^_^ Wait, we're rolling?
Computer: Dude! Wassup Neo?
Neo: I thought my name was Mr. Anderson.
Computer: That's what they want you to think... Besides, Neo is a much cooler name and when you rearrange it, it spells "one"!
Neo: ...
Lady with the white rabbit: I'm too hot for you to refuse this offer.
Neo: ...
Trinity: You are a prisoner of American capitalism (aka Matrix).
Neo: You remind me of a pastry... especially éclairs.
Trinity: o.o What's that supposed to mean?!
Neo: So delicious...
[Next scene]
Neo: What do you mean hop to the next window?! I'm over thirty stories high!
Morpheus: Coward.
Agent Smith: I know what you did last summer.
Neo: -_- zzzzzzzz
Agent Smith: o.o
Neo: Do you have pronunciation problems or something? You talk even faster in Lord of the Rings.
Agent Smith: Um... hey! Robot bug, meet Mr. Anderson!
[later]
Neo: Why am I always shown sleeping every like two scenes?!
Director: You like it. Don't deny it.
Trinity: Just take off your shirt so I can stick something else in you and suck the thing out.
Trinity: Where did you learn to drive, goddammit!
Switch: Internet.
Robot Bug: I hate my job.
Morpheus: I'm the coolest leader ever cuz' my glasses stay on my face BY THEMSELVES! ^_^
Neo: o.o
Morpheus: [holding out two pills]: Take the blue pill, and you will be revealed the real world. Take the red pill, and you will be revealed the real world.
Neo: What's the difference?
Morpheus: The colors. Preeeeeetty colors....
Neo: Don't you have doughnuts?
Morpheus: No.
Neo: Damn. I'll take the red one.
Neo: Dude, your mirror is eating me. How many times are you going to refer to Alice and the Looking Glass?!
Morpheus: Warning: Watch for an abundance of symbolism.
Neo: o.o?
[later]
Director: Where the hell is Neo?
A movie worker guy: I think he's in the closet.
Director: [By the closet] Neo?
Neo [inside the closet]: Mmmmm.... Oh yeah.... [breathes heavily]
Director: [opens closet] O_O What the hell...?
Neo [eating cheesecake]: [surrounded by food] What?
Director: Your scene again.
Neo: Damn. And I was having so much fun.
Director: Right... wait a minute... where's Trinity?
Neo: [points to snack table]
Trinity: Have wonderful coffee! [shoves coffee down janitor's throat]
Janitor: [splutterchoketwitch]
Neo: I'm shirtless again? Well hey hey!
[later]
Neo: Needles and things stuck in me freak me out.
Morpheus: Well sucks for you. [plugs Neo in]
Neo: I know kung fu. Now that's what I call downloadin'!
Everybody else: They're gonna fight! [brings out popcorn and stares at a relatively small screen]
Morpheus: [powslashkickelbowblockbam]
Neo: [bamblockelbowkcikslashpow]
Neo: Unexpected come back!
Morpheus: Tank, did you download the updated kung fu version?
Tank: Maybe...
[Scene changes to the Jump simulation]
Neo: You know, ever since that incident with the climbing to the other window earlier, I had a thing against heights.
Morpheus: Whatever. [jumps]
Neo: o.o
Neo: [runs]
Director: Cut! Get the stunt double!
Stunt double: Wha-[gets pushed off the ledge] Ow.
[Scene changes to imitation Matrix world]
Neo: Hello pretty lady...
Agent: Who you callin' lady?
Trinity: [runs into scene shaking and twitching] C-c-c-coff-f-fee outoutoutoutout ofofofofof co-co-coffee!
Director: You're not in this scene:
Trinity: Why not? The camera has been away from me much too long!
Director: Well, you're in the next one.
Trinity: And when is the next one? Aren't I a main character? Are you implying that I'm an untalented freak? Is that it? I thought you loved me!
Director: Shush! Not here! Now is not the time!
Neo: "Loved"? I thought you loved me!
Morpheus: I thought she loved me!
Director: _ Trinity! You have to choose one!
Trinity [shifting eyes often]: No I don't! [throws smoke bomb on floor. When the smoke disappears she is seen walking out the studio door]
Director: Great. Now we need a Trinity substitute.
Switch: I'll be her!
Director: But you're already another character...
Switch: ... that dies.
Director: You have blonde hair.
Switch [wearing a black wig]: No I don't.
Director: [sigh] Fine whatever.
Switch: YES!
Neo: o.o
Cypher: I shall now reveal my traitorous ways.
Neo: We're off to see the Wizard! The wonderful Wizard of Oz! ^_^
Kid: The spoon isn't there.
Neo: Uh, yeah it is. Anybody who can see can see that there's a spoon right there.
Kid: Well anybody who can TRULY see can see that there's NO spoon.
Neo: Whoa... brain overload...
Oracle: Have a cookie.
Neo: No thanks.
Oracle: HAVE A COOKIE!!! [strangles Neo]
Neo: All right! All right!
Oracle: Someone's going to sacrifice myself... you're going to have to make a choice... [shakes magic 8 ball again] and that's just about it.
Neo: Okay then... Could you be a little more specific?
Oracle: Now the details you have to find out for yourself.
Neo: You just don't know, do you?
Oracle: Of...course I do. [shifts eyes a couple of times] [throws a smoke bomb. When the smoke clears, she is seen climbing out a window]
Neo: Aww... is oo a cute wittle bwack kitty...Wait a minute...BLACK KITTY?! AAAUUUGGGHHHH!!!!!!
Morpheus: What did I tell you?
Switch/Trinity: Glitch in the Matrix! Hee hee! See? I can do Trinity!
Director: [sigh] Just get on with it.
Morpheus: Since I'm so cool, I get to sacrifice myself! [pow] ...and get brain damage.
Ace: [dies]
Switch: [dies]
Tank: [dies]
Neo: Um... why are they dying?
Switch/Trinity: Cypher unplugged their minds.
Neo: Oh.
Switch/Trinity: And yes, he is the one.
Tank: [undies] Let's see how you like it when you get a hole burned into your body!
Cypher: Ow. [dies]
Director: Hey, Ace! You're supposed to be dead!
Ace: Well, the undead gotta eat 'n' pee, you know. [walks away]
Director: But you're DEAD.
Ace: Well if I'm walkin' right now, I'm not, now am I?
Neo and Switch/Trinity: [back in real world]
Neo: So... what do we do with the dead?
Switch/Trinity: We're supposed to be crying?
Tank: Well, they ARE dead. Now that Morpheus is captured, we need to unplug him.
Neo: Wait a minute... This is a chance to prove myself worthy! Load the guns, baby!
Switch/Trinity: I'm going.
Neo: Why? A hot chick like you shouldn't be going.
Switch/Trinity: Morpheus means more to me than you... unless you're gay.
Neo: Good point...
Security Guard: Please remove any metallic items... Whoa... nice collection of -[shot apart]
Neo and Switch/Trinity: [powpowpowpowbangbangbangbangbambambambamshootshootshootshoot]
Everyone else in the room: [shot down and dies]
Room: Ow.
Director: Millions of dollars spent just to be shot apart... [sob]
Agent: You can't beat my dodging power! [dodge!]
Switch/Trinity: Oh really? [bam] I love that line! "Dodge this!" "Dodge this!" "Dodge this!" "Dodge this!" Hee hee! Oooo pretty helicopter!
Agent Smith: Humans suck. If you tell me the numbers, then you won't have to deal with me any longer.
Morpheus: o.o
Agent Smith: Tell me the numbers, damn it!
Morpheus: o.o
Window: [break]
Neo: You're sounding more and more like a telemarketer. [bangbangbangbang etc.]
Switch/Trinity: Don't shoot Morpheus! Geez.
Morpheus: [jumps]
Neo: [also jumps]
Both: [clash!]
Switch/Trinity: [pilot!]
Neo and Morpheus: [unclash!]
Switch/Trinity: [jumps!]
Helicopter: [crash!]
Building: [ripple effect! Then collapse!]
All three remaining: [escape!]
Neo: I'm always the last to be sent! Why me?
Agent Smith: So that you can show off your kung fu fightah moves! Woo-aaahh... [strikes a pose]
Director: I told you not to do that!
Both: [fight!]
Neo: [flee]
Agent Smith: [possess!]
Neo: I'm so close!
Agent Smith: ...Yet so far. [bam]
Neo: [dies]
Switch/Trinity: Yay! I get to kiss Neo now!
Trinity: [jumps into scene wearing a cape] Not on my watch! Me to the rescue! [kicks Switch off set]
Director: As much as I find that freaky, I'm thankful.
Trinity: [kiss!]
Neo: [undies!]
Jesus: Quit imitating me!
Neo: Blame the writer for that. Besides, Morpheus DID warn us. [possesses Agent Smith]
Agent Smith: [explodes]
Agents: [flee]
Neo: ^^ Yay! I'm bad! I'm bad! I'm bad! Uh hunh uh hunh uh hunh!
Trinity: Um... Neo? No time for dancing! Frickin' sentinels are about to destroy us!
Neo: Fine... end my fun why don't you...
Director: [slowly walking out door]
Trinity: You need wonderful coffee!!!!!!!!! [runs after him]