Well, all blame for this story goes to my best friend Roxy. (The same one I have to thank for almost each of my parodies) We were talking about how we're "addicted" to yaoi. And she said something about how we needed a "Support Group" with other fangirls. Which made me think of having a "12 step program." Which led to: What would happen if a gay guy accidently came to one?

And so, I give you my first little silly story:

Twelve Steps to Unhappiness

Warning: some fan-girl cracks. I'm one too, but hey sometimes we're just crazy. And a crack-pairing just for fun.

-/-

"Do you constantly dream about guy x guy relationships? Do the words "tight" and "release" make you giggle and/or hot? Have you started considering things you'd always labeled "nasty" just because it looked sexy in the last yaoi anime you watched? The group can help."

Shinobu did a double take at the poster. So, there were others like him? He smiled and quickly wrote the number onto his palm.

That afternoon, he dialed the number for the "rainbow hotline." His call, however, was picked up by the answering machine, which fortunately told him when the "Yaoi Support Group" met at the local community center. He hung up and quickly began cooking for Miyagi, whom he decided not to mention the program too. The old man wouldn't understand. And he'd just get paranoid about it anyway.

Miyagi didn't need to know.

-/-

A week later, Shinobu got his chance. Miyagi had a meeting at the same time the group would be at the community center.

Shinobu went up the front steps, although he noticed several women entering through a back door. They must have other programs going on today, he thought. Then he opened the door to a room full of them.

In the front, a teenage girl was waiting for everyone to settle down. Shinobu would have walked out then but he saw another guy standing in the back. His eyes locked with the bright green ones, and the other boy blushed and turned away.

"Okay, everyone! Let's begin!"

Everyone instantly got quiet.

"Now, we all know why we're here." She started, "It's because we're addicts. And in order to recover…"

"Why should we want to recover? I like watch yaoi. It makes me happy." One girl said, standing up. There were words of agreement everywhere.

"Excuse me, how many boyfriends have you had?" the girl on stage asked. *

The girl blushed and sat down.

"Exactly, now as I saying: In order to recover we must first admit that we have a problem. I'll go first: Hello, my name is Raya, and I'm addicted to watching yaoi."

"Hello, Raya," the group chorused.

"I started reading BL at twelve years old when I read an amazing book called 'The Rainbow Boys.' But I'm proud to say, I've been yaoi-free for three days now." *

After this they went down the rows and everyone introduced themselves. Shinobu was starting to get the picture: this was a group of Fan-Girls. And this might get ugly…

Then something interesting happened:

"Um… Hello, I'm Takahashi Misaki," the boy from before said, nervously looking down, "But um, there must be a mistake. You see, I don't actually like yaoi. I just come here hoping to find a way to get my boy… ah, I mean Usagi-san to stop writing it."

"Aw, he's adorable." One fan-girl said.

"…Such a uke…"

"I wanna eat him."

"Wait? Usagi-san? Does Sailor-Moon like yaoi too?" *

"Misaki-kun," Raya said, silencing everyone, "As I said earlier, we must first admit we have a problem in order to over come it."

"But I don't have a problem. You have a problem. He," Misaki pointed over at Shinobu, "probably has a problem. But I don't have a problem."

"Misaki-kun," Raya started but the damage was already done.

"Look, there's two of 'em!"

"OMG, they'd make such a cute pairing."

"Strip them!"

"Hey, Blondie, do you seme?"

"Nah, he looks like a uke too."

"Put them together anyway! It doesn't matter!"

"Get the shortie to do it!"

"Yeah, that'd be sexy!"

"Come on, it's fan-service! Kiss, kiss, kiss!"

"Kiss! Kiss! Kiss!" the whole group took up and the two poor boys were shoved together.

"Let's just do it and get it over with." Shinobu whispered, slightly blushing.

Misaki nodded once and quickly leant forward.

As soon as their lips touched, the whole room cheered. For the boys, it wasn't that great. But it wasn't as bad as they'd thought it'd be.

After the meeting, Shinobu vowed to never take a number from the bulletin board again. And Misaki decided not to seek out help for the author again. He doubted any of it would ever work anyway.

But before leaving, Shinobu forced Misaki to give him his number.

"Just in case. You never know when you'll need to talk to another uke."

"Ah, I don't really think Usagi-san would like this…" Misaki started to protest.

"I didn't mean it like that… I meant, we both came here for a reason. And I doubt either of us found it while we were being assaulted. So text me sometime. I left my number in your phone."

"Oh… Okay, yeah." Misaki said happily.

"And maybe sometime, you could give me some tips for…" he stopped, seeing his new friend's shocked face. "Well, I'll see ya!"

And with that, the two parted.

-/-

Well, tell me what you thought! The next random short story will be titled: The Yaoi Temple. Stay tuned. lol

*Sorry, fan-girl stereotype.

*This is actually my reality. (Except I've been yaoi free for like, three-minutes. Lol)

*I don't actually know anything about Sailor moon… But I think the main character is Usagi…