"You need to tell him."
"Not yet."
"You'll have to tell him eventually."
"I don't want him to be afraid of me. Or worse, think I'm crazy."
"He won't think you're crazy once you show him what you really are…what *we* really are," his mentor said soothingly.
"If you're so comfortable with him knowing what we are, why haven't you ever told him?" Khadgar challenged.
"Because I don't need him the way you do."
The younger man was pacing. "Medivh…you know how thankful I am to you that you found me someone so compatible, and even got me an apartment in his building—"
"It was the least I could do. You are my protégé, after all."
"But he's a cop, Medivh."
"Yes, and I've known him for years. I've been chief medical examiner at his precinct since before he even transferred there."
"What I mean is, Lothar deals with the rational. He's just not ready for this."
"Khadgar," Medivh said gently, resting a hand on the younger man's shoulder. "He is perfect for you, in every way. Do you really want to continue on as you have, taking what you need from strangers whenever you get desperate? The less of a match they are, the more you need. With Lothar you take so little there are no ill effects the next day. I know because I've seen it. Hell, Khadgar, he doesn't even need an extra cup of coffee those mornings."
Khadgar looked pained, but he nodded slowly. "I'll think about it," he said.
"Good boy. I've known Lothar for a long time, and I know what a good man he is. You could have something wonderful with him, if you'd just give him the chance."
Khadgar nodded again, but it still didn't quell the butterflies in his stomach when he thought of revealing his true self to Anduin Lothar. He didn't want to lose their friendship over this…condition. And while he knew he could simply make Lothar forget anything that happened while the two were together, Khadgar didn't think he could live with the memory of any fear or revulsion he might see in Lothar's eyes. The man already meant too much to him.
/Someday I will,/ he told himself, later that evening. /But not tonight./
So, with a flurry of raven wings, Khadgar began what had become his near-nightly ritual.
Alighting on the sill of Lothar's bedroom window, Khadgar pecked at the glass a few times. It brought about the same results now as it had every other night – a curious Lothar soon appeared, wondering what the noise was and coming to investigate whatever was outside.
The raven on the ledge cocked its head to the side, then its black eyes flared blue. Lothar's gaze lost its focus, and then, as if sleepwalking, he slid the window open. The bird hopped inside.
"Thank you, Anduin," said Khadgar, shifting back to his natural form. He'd implanted the command in Lothar's mind the first night he'd come to him. The older man said nothing, of course, being mostly unaware due to the effects of the trance; and Khadgar wrapped his arms around him in a tight embrace before taking him to the bed. He was glad that Lothar slept in the nude, since it made both of the things he was about to do much easier.
Khadgar's eyes, nearly as black as the raven's, turned blue once more, and he straddled the other man as he stretched out on the bed. He felt his canine teeth lengthening, and once they were fully extended he leaned down, sinking them into the soft skin of Lothar's neck.
He closed his eyes blissfully, letting the warm blood flow from Lothar into him, sating his hunger. It was always surprising how little he needed from someone compatible, and he'd never fed from anyone who was this close a match before he'd met Anduin.
If you let him know the truth, Medivh had told him, you could share with him fully. Have a true partnership with him, like our kind is meant to. You can't let your fear rule you forever.
Khadgar felt Lothar's erection nudging against him then, a secondary effect of the feeding…for both parties involved. Pulling back, Khadgar licked the wounds on the other man's neck, effectively stopping the bleeding and healing the skin. "You took care of me, Anduin," he whispered reverently, as his teeth returned to their normal state. "Now let me take care of you."
Settling down between Lothar's legs, he took the other man into his mouth, just as he had all those other nights. Each and every time he'd thought about what it might be like to truly make love with this man, instead of sucking him off and then returning to his own lonely apartment to take care of his own sexual needs there. He wondered what it would be like to stay the night with Anduin and wake up in his arms, instead of stealing into his apartment and then stealing away his memories of their encounters. And he wondered if he would ever have the courage to tell Anduin the truth about who and what he was.
/Someday,/ Khadgar promised himself. /But not tonight. Please, not tonight./