Home was all that Ernie could think about as he sat alone on the dark airplane. He was going to home after almost a week away and the thought filled him with excitement. Others perhaps looked forward to adventures, but he always wanted to get home. Home was his happy place. He had always loved the feelings of safety and security that he only felt when he was at home surrounded by the people loved most. He still did.
Sadly, getting home wasn't the same anymore. His apartment was dark, empty, and quiet when he returned to it after a mission. It wasn't warm and cozy, and it wasn't home. He spent his days off feeling lonely, and his friends' suggestion of getting out more didn't make him feel any better. Even if it took his mind off of his feelings momentarily, it only made him feel worse afterwards—more empty, more alone. Unfortunately, his parents' house didn't feel like home either. Ever since he and KC had moved out, it just wasn't the same. He was glad to see his parents of course, but it wasn't like coming home.
With every birthday that passed, he only found himself feeling more and more depressed. He was alone, homeless although not houseless. His last birthday had been particularly miserable. He was 26 now, old enough to have a home and family of his own, yet he was still alone. It didn't help that his parents and friends were just telling him to get a girlfriend like his effort was the reason that he was still single.
Although the traveling aspect of the Organization wasn't his favorite, the bright spots honestly were being on missions with Marisa. Nothing was cozier than the evenings they spent side-by-side on the couch pouring over mission data on his laptop. The memories that they had made during their four year partnership drew them together, and they shared many inside jokes about the countless mistakes they had made over the years. Most important, though, was the bond they shared. They trusted each other completely knowing that the other would put them first no matter what. Sharing success as well as failure kept them honest and tight no matter what. If he was honest, doing missions with Marisa was the closest thing to home he had.
In the quiet moments, Ernie had always known that he wanted Marisa to be more than his Organization partner. Despite his daily denials, he loved her and wanted her to share his home. She was his best friend, and he wanted nothing more than for his nightly dreams of life with her to come true. Yet, he was always banishing these thoughts from his mind. Marisa didn't like him like that, and he was terrified that she never would.
But when he was honest with himself, he couldn't bring himself to deny what he had always known—they were right for each other, and everything else was wrong. He couldn't have told you how he knew, but he did. It wasn't mere coincidence that they had become the Organization's most talked about partnership. They had what it took because they were right. The love and the trust that they shared anchored them on even the most difficult days. Sure, they disagreed about methods sometimes, but these disagreements actually helped them get better at what they did. When Marisa called him stupid and he told her she was stubborn and unreasonable, they always asked for forgiveness and ended up closer than ever.
Yet, their story didn't have a happy ending. Marisa's world was Bryce—a Congressional staffer who insisted she leave missions early to be home on the weekends. Ernie, well, he was alone. Why wouldn't he be when none of the girls he had ever dated were right because they weren't Marisa? All he had to look forward to was Marisa's announcement that she was getting married and leaving his life forever.
Looking at his reflection in the airplane window, it all felt really stupid. Here he was missing out on a home with the girl he loved because he had never had the courage to face his fears of rejection and admit his feelings to her and himself. Instead, he was watching her turn back into the thoughtless society girl who she used to be. And he was lonely and homeless even though he had the world's best apartment. It was ridiculous, and it had to change. He had to stop pretending long enough to figure out what it meant to fight for what he really wanted. He would do that he promised himself—whatever it took.
Author's note: I love these two, so here's another story about them. It will probably be about as long as the other. We'll see. The next chapter will focus on the crisis that Marisa is facing. I hope you enjoyed this. I'd love to know what you think.