The ring fell to the floor as her hands went weak and she sank to her knees, her expression one of shock and horror. She was so numb that she couldn't feel Simon's unnaturally cold fingers as he grabbed onto her arm and pulled her up, as if she were drowning and he was her lifeline. She couldn't hear him calling her name as a sharp, high-pitched noise echoed in her ears and everything around her was muffled. She couldn't see him even as he held her face with two hands and forced her gaze to lock with his, no matter where she turned all her eyes seemed to see was Jace. Not Jace like he used to be, with all of his predatory actions and arrogant personality. Not the bright, smiling boy who never seemed sad or worried about anything. She saw the Jace who took her heart and shattered it into a million pieces, a look of disgust plain on his face, none of his usual emotion-free features to be seen. Even though Clary had always been able to see straight through him as if he were a window, this felt somehow different, as if everyone could see through that window, as if it wasn't just her who got to view Jace without a well-composed expression. She felt as if a million daggers were stabbing her, and her veins turned to ice. She was numb and broken, and she didn't expect to ever feel any different again.

Clary woke with the sheets tangled around her and beads of sweat glistening on her forehead. She knew that she had been having a nightmare about Jace again, it was as if she could feel it like she used to feel a little shock every time they touched. This nightmare was always the same, and every time it made her feel as if she wanted to scream and cry at the same time. She reminded herself that she couldn't think about Jace, it would just bring up unwanted memories. She tried to force the thoughts from her head, but it was as it used to be, Jace was all she ever thought about.

Feeling emotions swelling inside of her and making her feel as if she were a balloon that was about to burst and release all of the air inside, Clary made her way to the small bathroom, so disoriented that she nearly tripped and fell.

After a quick, cold shower, Clary dressed as fast as she could. She couldn't believe how much she desired to be away from the small cottage that she had rented for the summer. The air felt hot and stuffy, and Clary felt as if her breathing was incredibly strained.

Practically running out the door, Clary almost didn`t see her walking up the path, a gorgeous girl with silky black hair and dressed in all black. Isabelle, Clary thought.

"Isabelle," Clary breathed, aloud this time.

"Clarissa Fray," Isabelle said sternly, "I don't expect you could have told me where you were instead of making me hunt you down?"

Clary stared at Isabelle, her mouth agape and no words seeming to reach it. She wanted to hug Isabelle and tell her how much she had missed her and say that her life was awful and she desperately wanted to come home. But Clary knew that she could never do this, since she didn't even want to talk to Isabelle because the conversation might bring up memories of Jace.

"Iz," Clary managed to whisper, so quietly that if Isabelle hadn't been a shadowhunter, she probably wouldn't have heard it.

To Clary's surprise, it was Isabelle who dashed across the stone path and wrapped her arms around Clary, squeezing her tightly as if she never wanted to let her go again. It wasn't until Clary felt wet drops splashing against the back of her neck that she realized Isabelle was crying. Isabelle, who never cried and showed barely any emotion.

Clary held Isabelle until she could feel the wracking of her sobs slow, and her ragged breathing return to normal.

"Izzy, I've only been gone a year and a half," Clary said incredulously, not understanding how she could be so upset.

"Clary, you don't understand anything, do you?" Isabelle stared at her with a look of superiority, as if Clary were ignorant and oblivious to everything.

"Isabelle what's this about? My mother - " Clary began.

"Is fine," Isabelle finished, "This isn't about her."

"So what's it about then?"

"What do you think it's about?" Isabelle asked as her face contorted with a look of tremendous pain. Clary had no answer to Isabelle`s question, but her heart crumpled as she visualized the possibilities. "Clary, you don't know what he's done to himself. Not this time. This time there's no going back to what he was before. There's – there's nothing in this world that could ever undo what he's done."

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