Holly Stewart is a lot of things. Intelligent- like, woah smart. And true. And honest to a fault, normally. She had always been up until recently, anyway. Up until about a year ago when she'd walked back into Gail Peck's life. Since she tentatively started a friendship with her. A friendship she'd wanted whenever she'd come back to Toronto to be the deputy medical examiner because she was scared- so so scared- of getting wrapped back up in the blonde only for her heart to be broken once more. So she convinced herself- friendship. Her and Gail, friends. Because of reasons.
So, after a couple of weeks hanging out and getting comfortable once more with one another, that was the reason that she'd rebuffed Gail's attempt at a kiss an evening they'd ordered take out and watched sci fi movies, each one taking a jab at the film because of various scientific or procedural inaccuracies.
One minute Gail had been looking at the doctor and the next, she had felt familiar lips upon her own. She pursed her lips before she even realized what she was doing and ignored the rushing in her ears at the touch she had been trying to convince herself she didn't need or want anymore. So, with willpower she didn't know she possessed, she'd broken the kiss, locked her eyes with Gail's and told her as much. Friends. That's it- she didn't feel that way about Gail anymore.
And the words had felt like sand as they slipped from her mouth, her heart clenching at the way that Gail's eyes watered, and her cheeks went red and her mouth opened and closed before scraping out an apology that she is desperately trying to pretend didn't sound clogged from the tears in her throat. And her face, the way that it fell-
She was up and off the couch before Holly had even registered it, slipping her boots on her feet and grabbing her jacket on the way out.
And she felt terrible, she did, but the last two times she had gotten her hopes up about them, it had taken months to recover and she wasn't sure she would survive it if it happened a third time. It didn't stop the tears falling down her cheeks, though, or the stirring of regret in her chest. But she told herself it was the right thing to do. Her heart ached over the next week that Holly refrained from contacting her and receives nothing in return. Because she knows she's doing the right thing for her, for Gail, for them both. And she hoped to God that they could somehow salvage some sort of relationship because the thought of never seeing the blonde again except by accident at work just deepened the throbbing of her heart that she's wasn't sure she could stand, either.
So, she was pleasantly surprised when Gail showed up unannounced the following Monday with a cup of coffee and a bashful smile. She apologized for running out, told Holly that she was happy to be her friend because she never wanted to lose Holly again. They'd hugged after a prolonged silence and Holly's stomach had clenched unpleasantly when Gail let go almost immediately after it started, breaking free to flash the pathologist a smile that she suspected was forced. But Holly didn't say anything except thanks for the coffee, grinning at Gail and telling her she was happy to see her again.
And then, something had happened. Or, something didn't happen, and its absence had hit her square in the chest. Gail passed the coffee over. It was simple, mindless, but Holly's eyes had fallen to where their fingers were, centimeters apart. And for weeks, when Gail had made excuse after excuse to come see her in the lab and brought her this very same cup of coffee and passed it off with a smile and minute brush of their fingers, it had been- deliberate. Flirtatious. But that day- there was none of that. She set it on the desk, tucked her head, and told Holly to call her and they could go out somewhere gay, so she could find a lady and she, her friend, she'd emphasized, could be her lesbian wing man.
It was a peace offering.
And it had worked. Holly smiled and nodded even as her throat felt like it was closing and the thought- helping Gail find someone to hook up with- had filled her with dread.
But fear, denial- they were some hellacious drugs and so she did. She went out with her snarky friend to her favorite lesbian bar and tried not to clench her teeth too hard when Gail was basically all anyone could look at and/or approach and Gail grinned at the end of the night when she showed Holly the various bar napkins that were written upon with a feminine scrawl. And before Holly knew it, it had become a sort of tradition of sorts on Thursday nights, Holly and Gail at the bar getting numbers left and right, being all platonic and wing- man-y.
But Holly had a secret. She's convinced herself she didn't need a relationship, that the past month and a half since she had rebuffed Gail's advantages and the friendship was all she could handle with the new work load and she was just- too busy and too content to just be so- Holly never called the women whose names were on the napkins she received and dumped them in the waste basket when she gets home without a second thought.
She and Gail never talked about whether she had with hers. If she had met any of them, gone out on a date with anyone of them, had- sex with any of them.
There had also been- encounters occasionally. Moments when she or Holly or both were drunk, and their eyes lingered a bit too long or Gail's hand went a little low on the doctor's back when trying to get her attention or guide her through a heavy crowd. The sudden, slight movement in her peripheral when she was certain that blue eyes fixed on her lips for long, tense moments. Moments that disappeared into the eyes she met when they flicked up to Holly's, any desire suddenly covered by a forced smile and a lingering excuse that had Gail retreating and away from wherever Holly had been.
God Holly hated it. She hated it so fucking much because she was in love with her- she had always been- and she didn't want to be, but it was better, she realized, than pushing her away and letting someone else come in and sweep her off her feet. So, she plans and one-night walks straight up to her where she sits in a booth at the Penny. She's opening her mouth to blurt out how she feels when Gail turns to her with wide eyes but an easy smile.
It's like slow motion when she notices someone sitting opposite the object of her affection. Gail smiles, so does the gorgeous red head across from her. Gail introduces Holly to the girl she calls Erin and explains that this is their fourth date and that they were waiting to meet her friends.
Holly feels like her stomach concaves. She feels the twist of the smile before she even registers the movement of her face and blurts out the first words that come to mind.
"Oh my God, hi. I'm Holly- Gail's friend."
Erin turns to you with a wide smile. It's genuine and her eyes are bright green and kind and an idiot at a thousand paces could see she was beautiful.
They shake hands. Gail beams and invites Holly to sit for a drink. She smiles as best she can and declines, telling them to enjoy their evening. She felt eyes on her back as she nearly ran out the door of the Penny. When she got home, she tried not to cry but failed, the hitched sobs eventually dying and lulling herself into a fitful sleep. When she got up in the morning, she rolled over and grabbed her phone and called in, her eyes nearly swollen shut from the crying jags she had had throughout the evening.
And it hurts, God it hurts, but she is hopeful. Hopeful that she and Gail will come together eventually, that she just had to ride out everything with Erin and then- they could get their second chance again.
It was selfish and horrible, and she didn't want to hurt Erin because, to Holly's greatest displeasure, she was wonderful and nice and funny and beautiful- but she knew. She just had to bide her time. She knew she just had to wait it out.
Erin proposed on a Saturday night eight month to the day of their first date at Gail's favorite restaurant. Gail called her, her voice excited but tinged with something Holly couldn't quite discern and Holly answered back with all the right things she was supposed to say. She congratulated her, and they made plans to see each other soon to celebrate. A few minutes later, Gail was texting her a picture of a gorgeous ring on her pale hand. Holly stared at the picture for a few moments before she turned, her stomach suddenly knotted and sour, and vomited into the trashcan. Everything- hurt.
Erin planned a wedding in four months. Holly was not in the wedding, for good reason. She wouldn't really want an ex standing next to her fiancée if it were her, either.
It had been- rough, to say the least. The closer the couple got to their wedding day, the more withdrawn Holly had become from Gail. She tried to put on a brave face but seeing them, having to stand by and see Gail so happy with someone else? And all after and maybe even because she'd rejected her? It put a terrible, bitter taste in her mouth.
But Gail- Gail seemed happy. And Holly did- love her. And she knew, knew that she had no right to mess with that.
So, Holly had dated. A lot. But- they never went anywhere. Because she didn't want anyone else. And it had made her want to scream and cry and shake because she felt so deeply in herself that Gail belonged to her and vice versa and she grew more desolate every day that the wedding nears.
The night before the wedding, Gail was tucked away at Holly's house while Erin stayed at their apartment because Erin was traditional and sweet and wanted to see her future wife for the first time walking down the aisle toward her, not that Holly had been giving that any sort of thought whatsoever in the days and weeks and months leading up to imminent worst day of her life. Not at all.
The evening found both women seated in the doctor's living room, buzzed on top shelf tequila and sitting in a mildly comfortable silence while 'Return of the Jedi' played softly in the background.
Holly's heart skittered in her chest when she felt Gail's gaze on her face and turned, wishing suddenly that she was closer instead of seated deliberately across the room on the chair that the officer had been sitting in during movie nights for nearly a year. But Holly turned and fixed her slightly hazy gaze on the staring eyes in front of her and a husky "what?" was out of her lips before she could even process it.
At first Gail had just stared. When she broke out of whatever thought she had been thinking, she diverted her gaze, pink flooding her cheeks. Holly would have missed the quiet words she said had she not been listening, watching so intently.
"I was just thinking- of- "
She stopped speaking and it looked like she bit her tongue and closed her eyes before she opened them and skirted them up to Holly's.
"Of- uh- how thankful I am. That- I attract so many good people even in the face of all the- unpleasantness I tend to bring to the table. For you, a mostly."
She took a deep breath.
"And how much- how- I never expected you to come back to me in any capacity, you know, let alone- as my best friend, you know? And- how I nearly fucked it up when I made a pass at you and- uh- ran- "
Holly's own face began to burn because they'd never, ever, talked about this since Gail had blown into her office the Monday after Holly thought she would never see her again and she didn't know where any of it was going and she wanted to believe that Gail was going to tell her everything she wanted to hear- that she still loved her and couldn't marry the woman at home in their bed-
"- because you deserve someone who doesn't run, you know? And- as much as I wanted to be that person- "
Holly's heart had jumped into her throat, nearly choked her.
"-back then, I know that you're going to find the person who is good enough for you, you know? You're gonna find some lucky bitch who worships the ground you walk on. And I'm excited for you, Hol. And- I- might only be telling you this because I'm drunk but- for not leading me on, I guess? Because-"
When Holly had not spoken, Gail pushed on, oblivious to the hole she'd blown in Holly's chest.
"-because if you hadn't told me then and there that night that you didn't lo- "
The words seemed to choke in her throat, but she'd cleared her it quickly, the warble Holly had detected gone.
"-didn't feel the same, if I thought there was any hope of you and I, well- I don't think I would have ever, moved on, you know? If there was a possibility of us…"
She trailed off, her eyes far off and face almost wistful.
Silence had permeated the room. Holly had tried to speak but her voice failed her. A tightness settled heavily onto her chest. It got harder and harder to breathe as Gail had shaken her head and raised the tequila laden drink to her lips and drained it in one heavy swallow.
"- I would have been hopeless, you know? If there's a possibility of you and me? There's no one else, I guess."
The chuckle that had spilled out of her mouth had sounded genuine and had ripped further at the doctor's heart.
Five minutes later with a half assed attempt at a smile, Holly had stood and declared herself out for the evening. Ever since her drunken words, Holly had been unable to look at Gail and that didn't change as she brushed beside her on her way toward her bedroom. She felt Gail's eyes on her back but didn't- couldn't turn to let Gail see the agony written on her face.
Her legs carried her up to the second floor, her throat tightening by the second. She had landed heavily on her bed moments later, her face buried in her heavy comforter. Her shoulders had shaken with the force of her cries as she tried to keep the woman downstairs from hearing.
Twenty minutes later, a light knock had sounded on the door, Gail's slightly slurred voice saying her name softly, like a question.
Holly had opened her mouth to answer but another wave of guilt had washed over her.
She had broken Gail's heart and her own at the same time and waited too long and Gail- Gail was finally happy and she had no right, none, to her anymore. She didn't-
Holly's stomach plummeted when she heard feet shuffle off down the hall and then the stairs. Her chest had burned with the effort, but she'd steadied her heavy breaths and willed the tears out of her eyes. And closed them and waited for morning.
When it came, the day she had been dreading for months, Rachel showed up at her old friend's door and greeted her with a sympathetic hug.
She had never dreaded an event more in her life. But Gail would never forgive her if she missed her wedding and she could do it, she could. She had to.
So, Holly readily accepted the flask that Rachel had stowed away in her purse and poured herself into the SUV she owned but Rachel had commandeered for the evening because of the drinking the doctor had been planning, certain that she would be drunk and in shambles that evening if she successfully raided the bar like she planned to. And she had been fine. Throughout the excited smiles of the couple in the front who had to be Erin's parents. Through the adorable flower girl who toddled down the aisle that earned claps and coos from everyone in the room and Leo Nash, so handsome in a suit, carrying the ring that would go on Gail's finger for the rest of her life.
She had been fucking fine, damn it.
But then, it had happened- the changing of the music and rising of the crowd; the moment Holly saw Gail walking down the aisle on Oliver's arm and meeting her eyes with those of her best friend.
And that- that's where now finds her: knot in her throat, tears heavy in her eyes, watching while the woman she just realized is the love of her fucking life walks down the aisle to marry someone who isn't her. The doctor brings her hand to her chest to try to soothe the ache with little relief. Her breath comes faster, her head buzzing due to the lack of oxygen. Rachel grabs her hand and Holly tries her best to smile as she breaks the gaze of the most beautiful bride she's ever seen to look over at her worried looking friend before glancing back up as the tightening twists almost unbearably and without even meaning or wanting to, meets Gail's gaze once more. It's warm, solid. She lets the smile drop when Gail breaks it only when she gets to the front where she and Erin (way too hot in a suit for her own fucking good) smile at each other, join hands, and then the Justice begins to speak.
Her heart is pounding, her palms are sweaty. Her throat is dry and suddenly, she's overcome with such a sense of desperation and longing and sorrow that is unbearable because Erin is looking at the love of Holly's life like she hung the moon and it's almost enough to send her screaming out the door but- instead, something else happens. And it surprises her because she is not this person. She is not one for dramatic displays or grand gestures. She is a woman of science, of fucking reason, but ever since Gail Peck had walked into her life, Holly really hadn't been that person anymore, either, so she's surprised but also ridiculously not when she looks over at Rachel with resolve set on her face.
"I'm sorry I'm an asshole. I owe you a cab ride and the biggest of favors."
Rachel barely gets to register confusion at Holly's words before the pathologist is up and out of her seat, nervous hands finding the lapels of her blazer, smoothing it down, and opening her mouth to say-
But then she is registering the eyes of everyone around her. Colleagues. Gail's mom. More colleagues and who looked like- yep, that was the chief of police. And then- Gail's confused gaze, a small smile on the edge of her lips as the Justice stops to look at the person who had caused the interruption. And it's too much and it gets to her, so she sits rapidly once more, Rachel's eyes wide and her brow furrowing and her mouth twisting in shock but also-
And Erin looks at Holly for a long moment, hard, even after Gail has turned back to the Justice and he has continued with the ceremony after a slight, uncomfortable laugh. Erin's eyes had left the crowd and Rachel is opening her mouth to say something and she's not sure what because her eyes have once more locked onto the beautiful woman in white who Holly couldn't stomach the thought of living without and her heart is pounding harder than it ever has before and her hands are cold and wet no matter how much she rubs them on her pants and her breath starts to come in quick spurts and Rachel's hand is on her back, rubbing because her shoulders hitch with the rhythm of her overworked lungs and it feels like something is inside of her ribs, growing so quickly and exponentially and all she can hear are the words echoing off the walls of the building about love and hope and commitment and all she can feel are the words that threaten to rip from her throat and tear her and Gail's and Erin's whole worlds apart.
But Holly is tired and sick of it all, she's so tired.
Her head falls to the side in silent forfeiture, weighed down with the burden of all the lies she has ever told. And she can't do it anymore, she can't.
Her words are louder than she anticipated. They immediately have Gail and Erin and everyone else in the building turning to see the woman whose words stopped the world for a few seconds.
And she knows it sounds strange, but years later, when asked to recount this moment, she'll tell everyone about how, in that moment, everything around her faded and it was like it was just her and Gail, alone, and her heart, splayed open.
She doesn't register the shock of the crowd, the dropped mouths and Rachel's incredulous laugh from beside her.
"I love you, Gail. I always have. I love everything about you. The things you say are the worst parts of you? They're some of my favorite because if you loved people and hated food and had any real respect for authority, you wouldn't be you and- I know I've never said it before- I was so damn scared- of getting hurt- but I love you and I want you. I have wanted you every second of every day since you tried to kick me out of your crime scene and I'm so so sorry- "
The breath catches in her throat and her eyes water and the regret threatens to choke her, but she pushes through even as her voice warbles with emotion.
"-I'm so sorry that this- this is when I finally decided to tell you, but I couldn't live without telling you that I- that you're my best friend and I will never stop. The loving you, that is. So, uh. I love you."
The cotton of her throat only manages a few more rasped words.
"And I think that you might- you might love me, too. Please, Gail. Do- do you?"
The crowd shifts their focus off the doctor and toward the object of her inquiry. Gail's eyes are wide, her mouth agape.
The pounding of Holly's heart brings the crowd a bit more in focus. She registers McNally, eyes wide and hand clutched at her chest.
Traci, who doesn't look surprised, at all. The knowing glance she throws to Chris beside her, knees nearly buckling as he takes in the dramatic scene in front of him.
Erin's eyes follow the majority and focus in on her fiancée, eyes imploring but hard and steadfast.
The most affected, it seemed, was Gail Peck's outraged mother, fingers clenching on the arm of the chair and itching to wrap themselves around the pathologist's.
And there is silence. A pin could drop, a mouse could skitter across the road outside, they would all hear it. So, the unsteady intake of breath Gail echoes off the walls and into the ears of every witness, the doctor's included. And then- her face changes. Holly swallows and starts to shake with something altogether when Gail focuses her eyes, suddenly hard like the line her mouth had just taken. She looks- angry.
Gail takes a moment to pass off her lovely bouquet.
And then- oh, shit. She is moving toward her. And she's saying words and they're not exactly friendly.
"Eighteen months! You have been back for eighteen fucking months and I try to kiss you and you tell me you don't feel like that about me anymore and then I meet Erin who is perfect and nice and doesn't tell me she doesn't love me. And then- last night- last fucking night! What I said! I- and I knew! I knew last NIGHT how you felt but you were a coward- and now? On my wedding day?"
She is speaking fast and drawing near and Holly's eyes close as her heart sinks and tears build in her eyes with sorrow and humiliation.
At the altar, Erin is looking at the intruder with a smug, hard expression even as Gail draws near her voice warbles.
"-because you know! You know what I said last night and I'm a lot of things but I'm not- "
And then she's in front of Holly and breathing hard and shaking, her hands clenching into fists by her sides.
Holly prepares herself for the slap.
When a forehead presses into her own and she feel shuddering breath on her lips, her eyes snap open to find blue eyes swimming with tears that pin the older woman down and make her heart speed up even more.
"- I'm not a liar. It's- Holly, I will always love you. I- love you. I love you too. I will- always want you. If you're an option, there is no one else."
Erin's face drops its expression. The former Superintendent bolts up from her chair. There's a sort of calm to it all, really. For a moment, two.
And then-that's when everything sort of erupts. And the moment between the newly reunited women is sort lived, the sound jolting them into breaking apart and Rachel pressing the keys into Holly's palm and yelling a desperate, "go!" as Elaine begins to round the row they're standing in. Holly grabs hand with the other, pulling her behind her as she turns and begins to run down the aisle.
They burst through the doors, ignoring the looks on all the attendants. Only glancing at each other, smiles on both of their faces. Elated, free.
Holly steers her toward the black SUV, unlocks it with the press of her FOB, and finds herself sliding into the driver's seat and closing the door before looking over to her partner in crime, laughing in pure joy and exhilaration, as she does the same. So lost is she in her mirth, her hand automatically sliding the key into the ignition, that she doesn't register the look of panic, the laughter replaced with terrified staccato breaths, until she glances over at Gail. And the laughter stops immediately because her eyes are wide and she's almost in a full out panic and dread fills Holly's stomach because maybe it was all a mistake in Gail's eyes and she was going to decide she hated the doctor-
"Gail? Are you okay? Do you- do you not wanna do this?"
Gail takes a breath, waits a beat, before turning her wide, wild eyes toward Holly, meeting her gaze for a long breath that she exhales through her nose. A flick of those blue, skittering eyes toward Holly's lips. There's little warning, then, as she waits for Gail to make the first move, her heart in her throat, afraid- but then-
There's not enough time for Holly to register shaking hands on her face before lips are smashing into hers. And that kiss-
Time stops and the world bottoms out because Gail doesn't answer with words but the way she kisses the doctor- so hard and deep and desperate, her breath hitching into the other woman's mouth as Holly desperately tries to keep up, keep from fucking drowning in the heady physical manifestation of Gail's love. Of Gail's choice.
When it starts to get to be too much- air desperately needed but body unable and unwilling to pull away from the lips Holly had been thinking about for years and years- Gail suddenly pulls away and the shock of it sends the doctor's eyes flying open. What she finds- Gail peering at her, gasping in lungfuls of air, her chest heaving with the effort of them- it furrows Holly's brow and she wants to ask if this is all too much, if it's wrong- but she doesn't, too stunned to do much but brush a stray piece of blonde hair behind Gail's ear as she smiles shakily and raises her eyebrow.
"Holly, drive the car."
Holly smirks at the confident tone, puts the car in drive, and peels out of the parking lot.
Two hours later, when dark falls, so does the uncertain silence in the car. They had been driving aimlessly since they had pulled out of the parking lot and it was becoming very evident that there was literally no plan for them now that they had basically sabotaged all f their lives. And, Gail, given the time to think, begins to panic first. Her breath comes in spurts when a flash of her mother comes into her head, the flare of her nostrils when Holly had been pleading her case, the most prevalent and making her stomach roll and ache.
At the first rapid intake, Holly's eyes snap over to hers, her eyes bright with worry.
Gail shakes her head and tries to speak but Holly shakes her own in response and pulls over on the side of the road and parks the SUV before clicking her seatbelt buckle and leaning her body toward Gail's, arms skimming along her lace covered shoulder. Holly tries not to flinch when she wrenches from her grasp and speaks quickly, panic lacing her words.
"Oh, God, Holly. What's the plan? IS there a plan?"
Another furrowed, dark brow.
"No, there isn't a plan, do you think I'd plan to ruin your wedding?"
"No- that doesn't sound like you, I just- I- God, Erin doesn't deserve this! How are we supposed to deal with the fact that we ruined someone so lovely and humiliated her in front of her and my family- and GOD, Holly, MY MOTHER!"
Her breath, if possible, comes harder. She blindly pulls at her seatbelt and flings it off once it becomes undone, flinging her door open and shuffling out into the open air before Holly can even process it. She sighs, hard, and says Gail's name, opening her door as well to follow the figure in white stomping down the road.
"Gail, Gail- wait! Stop! You can't just walk home!"
She catches up to her rather quickly but doesn't try to stop Gail who is throwing her hands up in the air and throwing a flippant "why?"
Holly laughs in exasperation but struggles for an answer.
"I don't know, moose?"
Gail doesn't react to the words but spins around to glare at the other woman whose arms hang uselessly at her sides.
"How are we supposed to face them? How am I supposed to go home and face my friends and my- not to, like, lock on but my fucking mother, Holly?"
Those words sink in and send the doctor's heart to the floor. Her hand comes to her forehead as the panic begins to jolt in her veins.
"Oh my God, your Mother!"
"Yeah, Holly. Way to finally catch up! What are we supposed to say to her? Hey, Ma. Holly and I decided to ruin someone perfectly lovely, so we could, what, date?"
Holly isn't looking at her, brain overloaded but still trying to come up with answers to predicament she had put them in.
"Okay, I can do this! Uh, the answer is that we never speak to any of our friends or your mother, uh- ever again!"
A moment as Holly smiles manically at Gail who frowns and shakes her head incredulously.
"Yeah, okay, genius. Or?"
Exasperated, Holly throws her hands up and turns, throwing haphazard words over her shoulder.
"Or, I don't know! We get married?"
The scoff is in the air before Holly can even begin to expect it.
"Oh, because that's the answer, right? Hey guys- we know we fucked up but hey- we're married now so it makes the whole world crushing A-Okay!"
But Holly isn't listening, not really. Because somewhere between the scoffing and the mocking tone, an image had begun to settle in the doctor's head. An image of what she could have, what they both could. Together.
She's cutting Gail off before she can lay any further into her and looking into her eyes.
"No, Gail. I- don't want to date, you're right! I want it all- you and the marriage and- and- the house and the family- the whole damn thing!"
Gail has stopped her ranting and is looking at you like you've blown her whole world apart.
"We can get to Niagara in eight hours!"
Gail is in shock.
"Holly, how do you know that?"
But Holly just laughs.
"Do you want to talk about that right now?"
Gail scowls and it only deepens when Holly smiles more at the expression.
"No."
The word is clipped.
"No, you don't want to talk about that, or- "
The amusement is still in her words, but Holly's voice softens and her eyes glisten in what little light the moon provides as she opens her palms and takes a tentative step toward the woman in white.
"No, you don't want to get married?"
She lets t he words settle in Gail's ears. Lets them sink in and change the hard lines of her face as she registers their meaning. Holly's heart beats erratically in her chest but it isn't out of fear- it's out of exhilaration because she knows- she knows this is it, this is the answer. It's always been Gail.
The words that spill out of her lips are feather soft and loaded with emotion and Holly barely hears them between the hitch of her own tear laden breath and the skittering of her heart but it doesn't matter because they're tumbling out of her mouth in rapid succession as she rushes toward the doctor's waiting arms and then saying them into Holly's greedy mouth after she's crashed into Holly's arms and laughing light heartedly when she's spun and pressed against the SUV for a long, desperate kiss.
But it ends, and they look at each other and their smiles are ridiculous and it's all so ridiculously short sighted, but it doesn't matter. Because this is it. They both feel it, this calm reprieve in the midst of the chaos. This is it.
They break apart with a final peck before racing to their respective sides, sliding in, and slamming the doors, the taillights sparking before a squeal of tires and the revving of an engine. Inside, Holly's fingers lace with Gail's, their eyes meeting for a loaded moment before it becomes a matter of time before they're at their next destination, the car turning toward Niagara and a future and, finally, a life, together, that they had ached for for so long.
Eight hours.
Holly could wait.
Please let me know what y'all think. Please don't yell at me. Grey's anatomy inspired- blame them for the dramatics.