Kinda Sorta

Disclaimer: All rights belong to Joss Whedon and ME.

Summary: Willow has a dilemma, and it involves a certain blonde vampire slayer. Post-Oz, pre-Tara.

Author's note: I don't usually attempt fics of pointless fluff, and humor isn't really my area of expertise, but I'm feeling adventurous.

Okay, so I have this problem. I may have kinda sorta groped my best friend. I didn't try to. I wasn't even awake, which of course tells you that I was dreaming of something I shouldn't have been dreaming about. But what girl doesn't fantasize about her best friend? Right? …Right?

Anyway, Buffy got into a bit of rough and tumble with a horny demon in our dorm room that left her bed covered in less than desirable substances, and I'm just now realizing how wrong that sounded. I meant horny as in 'having horns.' I mean, the demon could have been the other kind of horny, but we wouldn't really know unless we asked it, and we can't because it's dead, and also...ew.

So, getting back on track, it was late at night and neither of us had an extra set of bed linens, so I did what any best friend would do: I offered her my bed, not thinking about (read: completely thinking about) the situation that it would land me in. See, I couldn't let my best friend sleep on the floor, and I knew Buffy wasn't going to let me take the floor, so we were going to have to share. No biggie. We've shared a bed on many a sleepover. Of course, that was back when we were safe in high school before I figured out I was kinda gay with repressed crushy feelings for a certain blonde vampire slayer.

Badness ensued. Two people plus one bed multiplied by one innate cuddler equals much (un)intentional gropage. It's not my fault if my hand happened to accidentally brush against her boob.

…Okay, so actually, my hand landed directly on her boob, and there may have been caressing.

And squeezing.

Maybe some moaning…

…of her name.

But I was asleep, I swear! Buffy woke up, of course, and shook me awake.

"Wha…?" I mumbled.

"Willow, hands in new and awkward places."

My eyes flew open, and I shot up so fast that I think I startled her. I rattled off random excuses that I hoped she would buy, but my hazy mind obviously couldn't make 'I know you think I said Buffy, but you'd be wrong mister because I said Biffy because there's a cute guy in my chem. class named Biff' sound convincing.

"Wills, it's okay. I mean, what girl doesn't fantasize about her best friend?"

I guess gay minds—I mean, great minds think alike. I'm pretty sure my jaw hit the floor and my eyes fell out of their sockets. I almost, almost, told her about my kinda gayness, but at the last second, I closed my mouth and swallowed the words. No sense in bursting her bubble just yet, especially since the idea of 'bursting her bubble' led to other very naughty thoughts that I'm not sure she'd be ready to participate in.

Instead, I nodded.

Buffy smiled and pulled me into a hug. "I kinda love ya, Wills."

More naughty thoughts and a few tingly sensations. "I…kinda…love you, too, Buff."

The blonde laid back down and feel asleep in minutes. I, on the other hand, continue to lay here awake, tense, and just a little bit horny, and this time I don't mean the 'with horns' kind. Buffy's alarm goes off, and I still haven't fallen asleep for fear of inappropriate touching again. I pretend to be asleep as she gets out of bed.

I have to tell her. I'm going to have to just come out and say it, so to speak. As Buffy comes back from the bathroom, I open my mouth and force my tongue to work in the traditional less fun sense…

…and no sound comes out. I figure my subconscious is just trying to protect me from humiliation. Buffy asks a voiceless 'what?' and we both look confused. Laryngitis? Sudden deafness? A bunch of demons that wanted to rip our hearts out? I don't really care, because I have an excuse to put off my coming out!

Yeah, I know. I'm kinda sorta a coward.

End.