Disclaimer: Neither I nor Higitsune own Vampire Knight or Harry Potter. If we did, Ginny wouldn't have survive the Chamber of Secrets debacle.(Neither would Ron, because he's just annoying.)

WARNING WARNING THIS IS A CRACK FIC

This fanfiction is a collaboration between myself and my Beta, Higitsune. Thank you, Higitsune!

Prologue: A Night Out

The horses champed at the bit and stamped at the ground in boredom as the selected Night Class students slowly moved away from the academy and assembled by the carriage. Yagari scowled at the horse he stood next to and turned to complain to a noticeably irritated Zero Kiryuuu and decided that he might be safer if he stayed quiet. It was bad enough that he'd been sent on this fool's errand. At least he wouldn't be inside that death trap of a carriage, even if he was driving it. Zero's horse, White Lilly, was harnessed at the front of the 6 horse team along with the mangy, ill-tempered runt of a horse he'd been given for this… mission, if you could call it that.

He was thinking of calling it Zero.

Zero was fiddling with the control exercise Cross had told him about this morning, around the same time he'd been volunteered for this latest display of idiocy. Apparently, magic was not only real (Okay, that he'd already known) but there was now a school for idiotic British wizard brats, as well as a government. What was the school called again? Hog… something to do with acne? He had enough brats to deal with just the academy, even without his brother's soul taking up space inside his head. He'd been blocking the annoyance out since Ichirou had started to sing. Something about the song had inspired an urge to attempt a particularly homicidal rampage through the academy. The fact that it just would not stop probably had something to do with it. A smug feeling emanated from the corner of his mind that Ichirou had claimed. He cringed, and refocused – the silver vines he had projected from his wrists had grown thorns and were attempting to sink back under his skin.

The Night Class finally tore themselves away from their fan girls and walked over, dragging suitcases, trunks and various bags behind them. How nobody had noticed this was unnatural was beyond him. The smug bastard – Kaname – led the group into the carriage where the continued gossiping and whinging about how little they could take with them could be heard. Zero quietly thanked whatever was responsible for not making him sit in there, unless it was Cross, because this expedition was his fault in the first place. The fool had agreed to a "cultural exchange" with these British magic users while the Vampire Senate negotiated yet another treaty with the backwards society.

He wondered how long it would take before they were used as bargaining pieces. They, as in the Night Class. He'd just leave. He might take Yagari with him if he felt like it. Probably would. Although if he continued to refer to the scrawny sack of bones next to his precious mare, White Lilly, as Zero, Yagari might not make it to that Hogwarts place. He'd just have to kill any witness's first… besides, they were vampires. They didn't count as people after all. They were just beasts in human form. Even if he was one of them, he refused to acknowledge any kinship with the mongrels. He hissed as vines sunk into his skin, wrapping around his wrist in a bloody parody of a thorny bracelet.

Yagari smirked at Zero, while the soundproofing proceeded to fail and the laughter and chatter of the 8 Night Class students behind them filled the air. Zero twitched. This was going to be a very long trip…

He levelled a death glare at Yagari. If he had to suffer, he wasn't going to do so alone.

Dumbledore smiled merrily at the gathered students, who muttered rebelliously to their friends. Umbridge continued to scribble at her clipboard with an ugly expression on her face, the pink cardigan she wore not enough to protect her from the early autumn chill. It was September 3rd, two days after Dumbledore's strange announcement at the Welcoming Feast about visitors and candy.

Harry, Hermione and Ron moved away from Malfoy and Umbit- I mean, Umbridge. Malfoy was talking loudly to Umbridge about his father and boasting about Slytherin house, as per usual. The sun was setting over the lake, and more than a few students were tired, hungry and glaring at Dumbledore as he hummed quietly and ignored the collective irritation of the student body. The sun set as Umbridge finally asked the question that most of those present had been wondering. "So, Headmaster Dumbledore, why exactly have we been waiting out here for an hour and a half?"

Dumbledore cheerfully twinkled his eyes at her (Hermione had found the spell in a charms book in the library. If used incorrectly, it was permanent… which explained why Dumbledore always did that.) "My dear Professor, we are simply waiting for our guests from Cross Academy in Japan. I issued an invitation to their Headmaster – a most delightful fellow, most appreciative of the sherbet lemons I gave him. He even sent back some kind of Japanese sweet called Pocky. He agreed to send me 9 students and one of their teachers and we will be doing the same next year. I was thinking of sending Severus. I think they'd get along splendidly, don't you?"

It was now half past nine at night. The sky was dark and glittered with stars. First and second year students had been sent to bed by Professor McGonagall, overriding Dumbledore's objections by reminding him that they had class the next morning and would need their sleep. Third years had gathered by the lake with Professor Sinistra, who was leading an impromptu astronomy class. Hermione was taking notes from where she, Harry and Ron had sat under a tree while Harry and Ron were playing Wizard's Chess by wand light. Professor Umbridge had given up and gone inside to sulk. Malfoy was half asleep next to Pansy Parkinson, a 5th year Slytherin who, Ron said, looked like a pug. Blaise Zabini had climbed a tree and amused himself with attempting to hex the Weasley twins. Fred and George (or Gred and Forge, depending on whom and when you asked). After ducking a colour changing hex (the weapon of choice, considering how many teachers were around), he glanced up and shouted for a ceasefire. "I think I saw something over there – will you stop hexing me, Weasley!"

Malfoy was elbowed awake and Harry snickered as he scrambled upright. Coming up to the school the same way the threstral-drawn carriages was a black carriage pulled by a team of six horses, 4 black and the pair leading them white and grey, respectively. A man and a boy sat in the driver's seat, the boy leaning against the elder man. He seemed to be asleep, silver hair in disarray and relaxed against a rather nervous looking man, who must have been the teacher. He had shoulder length dark hair that hung down in front of one eye, preventing a clear view of his face. He seemed to be on the verge of shoving the boy away from him but too unnerved to do so. Hermione wondered aloud to Ron why the driver looked so uncomfortable. Ron was more distracted by the fact that the silver haired boy was holding a knife in the hand not clinging to the teachers shoulder. As the carriage pulled to a stop by theentrance hallthe teacher reached over and carefully disentangled the silver haired child nestled against his side, sliding him to the edge of the ledge they were sharing. When the child grabbed onto his arm and growled, the teacher raised his hand and slapped him.

Zero frowned slightly as dream-Ichirou attempted to slip out of Zero's hug. He tightened his grip, nuzzling his face against dream-Ichirou's arm. As he glanced up, dream-Ichirou's body began to cool and he noticed the deep gash across dream-Ichirou's throat and the blood that slowly leaked from the bite-mark. Who could have… had he done this? He looked down at dream-Ichirou's body, seeing the splatters of blood across his own body and…

He woke up, feeling a sharp burst of pain across his face. Blinking at the brown leather that filled his vision, he slowly glanced up to see a nervous looking Yagari attached to the arm he had been hugging in his sleep. He turned his head, seeing the group of children looking at them and quickly released Yagari's arm and darted under the carriage.

He was never going to live this down. He only hoped that none of the Night Class had seen this humiliating moment. The Smug Bastard – Kaname would use this as blackmail and Yuki would go on about how cute it had been… (He was not cute. No matter what anyone said, he was not cute.)

The next person to call him cute would die. As would anyone who ever brought this up again.

Yagari's face had been pretty amusing, though. And Yagari had slapped him to wake him up…

This meant war.

Harry stared at the space where the kid had disappeared from, listening half-heartedly to Hermione's furious muttering and nodding occasionally. The teacher, after finally managing to dislodge the sleeping boy had wandered over to the side of the carriage and opened the door, allowing the other students to stumble out of the carriage. One of the three girls in the group tripped and took down a few other people with her before she was helped to her feet to the amusement several members of Slytherin House, Malfoy and Parkinson among them.

Their teacher gestured for them to line up, the silver-haired boy reappearing at the end of the line, with a neutral countenance. Ron's muttered comparison to the Fer… Malfoy coincided with a scowl appearing on the boy's face.

Harry had to wonder how Ron could have been heard from all the way over by the entrance hall, considering the boy was standing next to the carriage and they were seated by the lake with the third years and Hermione. Ron was oblivious (as usual) and Hermione was too busy ranting about proper behaviour and standards to care.

Now, if only they were that oblivious when he was trying to do his homework - he might be able to finish an essay for once... and mope about Cedric. He was not depressed.

Yagari held in a smile, knowing that Zero would notice that he was twitching slightly, attempting not to laugh at his somewhat ragged appearance and his memory of Zero smiling and acting completely out of character (although knowing how Zero behaved when he was asleep ensured that should he ever need to be assassinated, Yagari would know when the best time to attempt to kill his student. Unfortunately, Level E's didn't sleep… maybe if they gave him an Ichirou shaped teddy bear? His brother complex had to be useful for something, after all.).

The well-known feeling of Zero's glare focused on his face, causing him to push his amusement down in order to avoid a squabble in front of the mission objectives. The other school's (he still couldn't remember the name of it. He knew it involved pigs, though…) headmaster walked over to him, babbling some inane nonsense about if they'd had a good journey (No.), if it had taken long (Far too long. Zero had been using his arm as a pillow for over five hours and he was almost out of cigarettes. He still couldn't feel his arm. At least the Night Class students had stopped asking if they were there yet after a few threats of giving Zero back his gun…) and if they were hungry (YES!) He had to wonder why the feeling that the elderly man and Cross meeting would be bad for his anti-anxiety medication bill. He'd been taking them since Zero's parents had asked him to look after their children for a while. Strangely, Zero was the instigator of the pranks that had plagued him night and day… not that he'd known until Ichirou had ratted out his brother in exchange for Zero's dessert.

He hoped that part of Zero's personality didn't make a comeback around other pranksters and a multitude of targets.

… Did that boy with the green tie standing by the identical twins in tie-dyed robes have rainbow hair?

He was doomed. Doomed to be pranked….

He prayed to whatever deity* would have him that it wouldn't be by Zero.

*Deity: A "God", "Goddess" or "Higher Being".

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