This is my Babes in Toyland fan fic I wrote with AsianRose. We were in Babes in Toyland and there's nothing for us to do backstage in act 2 so we wrote this. We played Alice from Wonderland and Mary had a Little Lamb so we're making them more of a character.
NOTE: FOR SOME REASON IN OUR BABES IN TOYLAND OUR HERO WAS NAMED ALAN INSTEAD OF TOM!
Ozians in Toyland
It was a bright early morning in Mother Goose County and all the citizens were gathered by the maypole and were talking and chatting, but there were two who weren't so satisfied with their life.
"Why does Mistress Mary get all the excitement?" Mary had a Little Lamb asked, "Alan, Barnaby, Toyland, and all that. And what's all this nonsense of her being the most beautiful girl in Mother Goose County?" she continued, tossing her long dark curls over her shoulder. "I think we all have our strong points and besides, everyone knows blonds aren't the prettiest."
"I know!" her friend Alice from Wonderland exclaimed, "It's annoying, why do they always say that blonds are the prettiest or have the most fun? If they want to know who's the most beautiful girl in Mother Goose County they should hold a pageant! Ya know what? Let's see Toyland ourselves, how 'bout that? Plus I heard Grumio is really cute, tee hee!" she added with a wink.
"Oooh! Let's!" Mary replied with a glint in her eye.
Meanwhile, a little ways away two other people were having a problem of their own. Dorothy Gale and Glinda the Good had just found themselves in another new land.
"This isn't Kansas!" Dorothy exclaimed, confused.
"Where are we?" Glinda asked looking around, "Nothing here looks like Munchkinland unless you count the houses!" she paused as she spotted a very large shoe with a door and windows, "Well, except that one. Dorothy, try clicking your heels together, you remember, 'there's no place like home',"
Dorothy looked down at her ruby slippers which had recently appeared again, closed here eyes and clicked her heels together.
"There's no place like home, there's no place like home, there's no place like home... this isn't working," She said looking back up at Glinda.
"Oh no! We're trapped here! What are we going to do now, Dorothy! I'm not used to getting lost!" Glinda practically shouted, beginning to panic.
"Shoot! Where's Grumio when you need him?" Dorothy sighed.
"I'm from Oz, remember, who's Grumio?" Glinda asked.
"The Toymaster's assistant, I think. I heard he helped a lost couple get home once, but I don't know where he's from. I heard he's hot!"
"Let's go!" Glinda said with a smile, "Look! A yellow brick road, who knew they had those out here!" and sure enough, there was a yellow brick road leading into a forest. Dorothy locked elbows with Glinda and they skipped down the road, via Oz skip.
Mary and Alice had been walking for a while and they finally came across a road.
"Who is THAT?" Alice asked. She had just spotted a tall thin man with a long dark mustache on the road wearing a long uniform and an inspector's badge.
"Oh, Alice, not now!" Mary groaned.
"Too la-ate!" Alice sang with a wide grin and she ran up to the inspector tossing her hair.
"Who goes there!" Inspector Marmaduke shouted when he heard a pair of shoes coming near him.
"C'mon, Alice! That guy's so not your type. Let's go this way!" Mary said, following Alice.
"Don't be such a party poop, Mary!" Alice exclaimed.
"Well, how long will this take?" Mary asked.
"What's going on here?" Marmaduke inquired, completely lost.
At that, Alice swooned a little.
"Fine. Two minutes," Mary said rolling her eyes, completely exasperated at her friend's taste in men.
"YAY!" Alice shouted, putting on a flirtatious grin and winking Marmaduke. He just glanced casually at Alice, looked away before turning back with a look of shock and staring at Alice. "What's going on here???" Marmaduke asked looking at Alice.
Just then, Elphaba and Fiyero entered the area through some bushes.
"Hey, Fiyero," Elphaba called, "Come look at this…
Right from the other direction Glinda walked up followed by Dorothy.
"You see, if we follow the yellow brick road, we should eventually get to-" Glinda paused to read the sign nearby, "Toyland? Oh goodness! I told you I'm bad at giving directions!"
"Glinda?" Elphaba asked, shocked.
Then Glinda's jaw dropped and her eyes went the size of the ridiculous gems on her wand.
"ELPHIE??? But you're dead!!!" she shriked, ready to scream.
"Obviously not," Elphaba said flatly.
"Wait… Elphie?" Dorothy asked, confused at the name Glinda had just uttered.
"Yeah, obviously not!" Fiyero added.
Glinda's eyes then (if possible) widened even more. "Fiyero??? You're alive too? WHAT IN THE NAME OF OZ IS HAPPENING HERE???" and with that, she DID scream.
"Muffet's Tuffets! What in the name of the Toymaster is going on here!?!?!" Marmaduke yelled, trying to figure out such a strange scene.
"WE'RE LOST AND," Glinda added with a sob, "I'M SO VERY CONFUSED!"
"One minute and counting. Down. 60, 59, 58, 57…" Mary warned and began counting.
"If you can lose it, Inspector Marmaduke can find it!" Marmaduke said confidently.
"No, WE are lost!" Glinda cried.
Not too far off, Mistress Mary Quite Contrary and her fiancé Alan wandered in.
"Oh Alan, I can't believe we're going to be married!" Mistress Mary said excitedly.
"I can't wait to see Toyland again, I've never really gotten that song out of my head," Alan replied and began humming Toyland.
Just then, Mistress Mary looked around and saw Fiyero and stopped dead in her tracks.
"Oh my. Hello gorgeous," Mistress Mary breathed.
Fiyero, seeing Mistress Mary's reaction began his famous smooth dancing and began singing his signature song, Dancing Through Life.
"Oh! And he can dance too!!!" Mistress Mary exclaimed and began swaying to the beat.
"HEY YOU! BLONDIE!" Glinda shouted, coming out of her state of shock, "HE WAS MINE FIRST!!!"
"He is mine now!!!" Elphaba called.
"Hey, the blonde can dance!" Fiyero said happily.
"Which one?" Alice asked.
"35, 34, 33, 32, 32…" Mary continued.
"SWEET MOTHER OF GOOSE!" Marmaduke yelled, "What is going on?!?!"
"I'll tell you," Alice said gliding over, "Come with me." With that, she winked mischievously and lead Marmaduke over to a corner and whispered in his ear. Well, actually, she stood high en pointe and Marmaduke leaned over.
"SOMEWHERE OVER THE RAINBOW..." Dorothy sang, seeing nothing else nessasary to do at the moment.
"What's all the singing about?" Mary demanded, "I want a solo!"
"Too bad, sheep girl!" Glinda shouted over all the noise.
"Ugh! Blondes! Anyone know a good blonde joke?" Mary asked, very much annoyed with Glinda when she began singing Popular.
Oh, Fiyero, darling, I absolutely have to show you my ballerina doll dress! And oh, you totally have to meet the Toymaster!" Mistress Mary exclaimed, leading Fiyero over to the area.
"WAIT A MINUTE!!!" Alan shouted, "So we ran to Toyland to escape Uncle Barnaby to get marrried, confronted evil dolls and a giant spider and then you leave me?" Alan asked, beginning to look offended.
"Where's Alice?" Glinda suddenly asked, looking around.
"She's over there. With that Inspector," Elphaba explained plainly, feeling put out that Fiyero had just left her for Mistress Mary.
"Oh... I want Fiyero back!" Glinda shouted.
"And you think I don't?" Elphaba asked sarcastically.
"I want a guy too!" Mary interrupted.
How about Grumio?" Alice offered, gliding over, "I'm not interested in him anymore!" with that, she winked eyed Marmaduke flirtatiously
"Hmmm…" Mary thought a moment, getting a twinkle in her eyes and she swirled her skirts in a flirtatious way, "I'll go find him.
"Good Girl!" Alice giggled, giving Mary a hug, "Tell me how it goes, tee hee!"
"What about me???" Glinda asked, crossing her arms and pouting.
With perfect timing, Alan strutted up.
"Hey there, cutie!" he said with a wink.
Glinda tossed her hair like in her Galinda days when she was trying to win over Fiyero.
"Hiya, where you from?" Glinda grinned and she and Alan walked off together.
"Oh, sure, now I really feel good! Thanks a lot, Glinda!" Elphaba called after her former friend.
"I have no idea what's going on here," Dorothy stated flatly.
