Just a short, 431-word 'drabble' (though a drabble is technically 100 words exactly, I just can't think of a better word) of Sephiroth introspecting and retrospecting. I don't think retrospect is a verb, but it is now. This idea's been following me for a while, and I've wanted to put it down for a while.

I wrote Sephiroth's 'inner voice' in quite simple, clear parlance, with short, terse sentences. I imagine him as not being terribly good with words, even in his head.

It wasn't written with Gen/Seph in mind, but you can interpret it that way if that's what floats your boat. Enjoy!

***

Do you remember when you taught me to laugh?

Neither of us could sleep that night, you with your insomnia and me with my nightmares. To begin with, we ignored each other. I got my coffee, you got your tea and we sat at opposite ends of the room like the other person didn't exist.

Then you looked at me. You asked me if I was all right.

I didn't know what to say. I'd learnt that the normal, acceptable response was yes, but I'd also learnt that I was a terrible liar.

I said yes.

You knew I was lying, and you told me.

I wanted to change the subject, so I asked if you were all right. It felt strange asking something like that. I'd never really been able to understand the way other people felt. I couldn't even understand how I felt.

You said yes.

I knew you were lying. I don't know how I knew, but I did. I told you.

You simply chuckled to begin with, and said we were both terrible. I didn't know what to say, so I did my mimic-laugh. People say it sounds strange ('like an asthmatic donkey' according to Rostis) but to me their laughter sounds just as strange. The only laughter I'd ever heard was… I digress.

And then you started laughing proper.

At first I was worried that you were laughing at me. I asked you what was so amusing, and you just kept laughing. Eventually you managed to say something along the lines of 'we are so messed-up'. I could agree with that. I still can, now that everything's gone wrong.

And that's when it happened. Something rippled through my stomach, like the spasms some of the thousands of drugs he put into my body sometimes caused. To begin with, I was terrified. The only point of reference I had was the feeling of my body going into a seizure.

I was aware of making some sort of sound, but it wasn't the desperate gasps of someone who was losing all control of their body. I recognised the sound, but I couldn't draw my focus away from what I thought was some terrible convulsion.

And then I realised.

I was laughing.

That was what the sound was. It was a real laugh, a belly-laugh, not the hwuff-huff-huff that was all I could normally manage.

I remember the look in your eyes while you laughed with me.

You were happy. For the first time in my life, I had made somebody happy.

I wish you'd look like that again.

***

So there you go. My holiday present to you. My works will be taking a bit of a hiatus while I get my muse and my head back together. Big thanks to everyone who's taken the time to review.