A/N: I've had this idea for quite some time now, and after getting my laptop, I decided I would start dedicating my free time to it, what with Winter Break just around the corner and everything. So, here it is, readers, I am back with more St. Berry to throw at you. And let me tell you, this is one of my favorite St. Berry plots to ever have crossed my mind, which is saying something because most of the time, I usually get pretty into them. For a while, at least. Anyways, I really hope you enjoy. I plan to spend a lot of time on this, and depending on the feedback, hope to actually finish it in the amount of time I want — meaning this is probably going to be about 25-30 chapters long, epilogue included. In that case, it's up to you to decide how it all works out.

Note about the story: This is beyond AU, in case you couldn't figure that out. Which means the timeline varies greatly from the show. The prologue takes place in the same time slot as the episode "Journey", and the story begins starting from "Hell-O". After the events of that episode, it is completely AU.

Prologue

Rachel simply remembered the serious look in Mr. Schuester's eyes as he watched her dance across the stage. You failed me, they read, narrowing when she belted out the final line of the song. When she halted on the stage, a small smile formed on her lips, infinitesimal, really, but still in existence.

As her eyes grazed over the other faces in the crowd, one more set of eyes met hers; blue and narrowed, they read something far worse than disappointment.

Once the group was backstage, gathering their items from the dressing room, Rachel allowed herself a moment to gaze in the mirror, to stare at the monster looking back at her. Her eyes were no longer light and full of cheer, but they were now nearly pitch black and cold. Her lips were now a hard line and they had lost their hint of a pout, her smile no longer able to reach her soul. As for her personality, well she was no longer the real Rachel Berry, but someone much darker, someone who had no thought of anyone but them, someone who knew victory as if it were the blue veins trailing through her body.

"You've become one of them." The voice was very collected, almost warm, as it reached her ears.

She refused to turn around and face him. "I haven't become anything."

"Oh, please," he huffed. "You're lying to the wrong person, sweetheart. I've been through it; I've done the same thing to myself.

Rachel's glare intensified as she racked her brain for a proper, appropriate, mature response. Unfortunately, she could only think of harsh criticisms, comments that would not get her any further in her quest. Damn quest, she hissed at herself, it's over, Rachel! No one is asking you to do anything. True enough, after failing Will's task, everything had gone downhill. That, she realized, was when she had changed, when she had given in.

The silence between them had grown penetratingly sorrowful during Rachel's contemplation. For a moment, he hesitated, but he took a step forward in an attempt to ease the tension. Not a second later, his arms were grasping hers, and his face was just inches before her. She couldn't breathe — just his touch made her inhale a large breathe, and she was far too afraid to release it.

"What are you – "

"Don't," he interrupted. His eyes were glossy, on the verge of tears.

Somehow, she wanted so badly to break what little space remained between them. After all this time, she still yearned for him more than she yearned for fame and a winning trophy at Nationals. There was still something inside that reminded her how much she owed to him, how he was responsible for all of this. Not to mention he, too, had been asked to be a spy; to spy on her!

"St. James, we're on." Neither had noticed Quinn Fabray appear in the doorway, a single blonde eyebrow cocked high. When Jesse stepped to the side, she narrowed her tired green eyes at Rachel. Even from beneath her golden dress, the baby bump was more obvious than it had been last time the girls had seen one another. Oh, it had been nearly three months, hadn't it?

Before departing after her, Jesse managed one last look into the doorway as he mumbled, "I guess this is good-bye, Rachel."

She waited for him to leave, but he lingered on just a moment. Her heart broke just staring at him, and she opened her mouth to speak, but he beat her to it.

"I loved you." And just as quickly as he had appeared, she was gone.

Rachel had failed. She had failed Mr. Schuester, she had failed Shelby, but worst of all, she had failed herself. No, instead of following orders and doing as she was supposed to, she had been weakened. She had done the worst possible thing.

She had fallen in love.

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