A/N: Hi! This is my first Doctor Who fan-fiction and I am super nervous. I haven't written a story in a long time and I am very nervous how this one-shot will go down. If the characters seem a little OCC, it's because this is my own interpretation of Capaldi's character. Anyway, please enjoy and leave a review so I know whether to continue writing or not. Thank you!
Clara knew that her old Doctor wouldn't be coming back but that didn't make her not miss him.
She missed the way he would ramble about certain memories, flail his arms about whenever she made a suggestive comment and the way his mood could change from happy to angry in a second.
But the thing she missed the most was the way he would kiss her forehead at any given moment. They could be in a heated argument yet he would still press his lips to her head to ensure she knew how much he cared about her.
The new Doctor however, wasn't the same. He didn't try to touch her or hold her hand, he didn't call her "impossible girl" like she hoped he would and he certainly didn't kiss her forehead.
She knew her old Doctor wouldn't come back but that didn't make her stop wanting him too.
He knew that she missed 'her' Doctor. It was obvious.
He didn't hug her the way that the previous form did, he didn't even hold her hand. It wasn't because he didn't want to; it's because he couldn't bring himself to do it. He was aware of Clara's feeling towards his old face; who couldn't have loved his eleventh face? He was younger, funnier and (although many may disagree) better looking than he was looking now with his floppy hair and ridiculous smile- it was obvious Clara Oswald would fall in love with someone like him.
He knew the damages of falling in love with his companion. It had destroyed his 9th self, his 10th and even his 11th self. He wouldn't allow himself to die for love- not again. He had tortured himself about Rose and River over the years; he wouldn't start doing it for Clara.
Not even if she looked cute when she crinkled her nose.
Clara wasn't sure when she started to look at the new Doctor differently but she was pretty sure it was around the time when he accidently called her 'honey'.
They were being chased by Cybermen and they had been separated. The Doctor went right, whilst Clara turned left and happened to run into the Cyber leader. Cursing her bad luck she tried to run away but discovered she had been backed into a corner. Closing her eyes, she was confident that this was it- this was how she was going to die. Until she heard that familiar Scottish accent yell "Clara, honey, duck!"
She'd done as he asked and managed to avoid being electrocuted by what seemed to look like a giant TV remote and watched as the Cybermen slowly fell to the ground. Looking up, she saw the Doctor grinning and holding his hand out for her.
The Doctor was content with not talking but Clara couldn't face the silence. She stopped him in his tracks and placed her hand on his chest.
"Why did you call me honey?"
"What?!" The Doctor spluttered. "I didn't... When...?"
"Back there. You said "Clara, honey, duck!" Why?"
"Clara, your ears must be playing tricks on you. Why on earth would I call you 'honey'?" giving her one last glare, he stormed off to the TARDIS, leaving Clara to wonder- why?
It also wasn't until she went to bed that night that she realised that the Doctor hadn't let go of her hand until she bought the subject up.
The second time the Doctor held Clara's hand; she got to appreciate the way it felt.
With the previous Doctor it felt like a necessity to hold his hand; it made her feel warm and calm. With the 'new' Doctor, however, it felt like a privilege to hold his hand. She felt as though she was slowly breaking his hard exterior down and she got to see how cold his heart actually felt. When she held his hand she felt like she got to truly understand what went on his head and learn the Doctor all over again.
The Doctor may not have realised it but Clara knew that eventually he would begin to let her in and she would already know the music to his heart.
After the first and second hand hold, Clara would find more ways to incorporate touching into their friendship.
She knew it was childish and she was sure he would catch on to what she was doing but she couldn't help herself. She wanted to recapture their previous flirty relationship and she would try anything.
It first started when they visited the Ice Caps on Mars. The Doctor wanted to show Clara the beauty that the Ice Caps held and that there was more to Mars then originally thought to be. Despite them wearing space suits, Clara felt the chill seep through the suit and into her bones. She knew the Doctor wasn't one to leave a place early, despite the conditions so she decided to play this situation to her advantage.
She started shivering a little more, made her teeth chatter a little louder and started moving on the spot, each as a bid to grab the Doctor's attention. Like his predecessor, however, he was completely oblivious to her movements and continued to talk about is previous adventures to Mars. After trying her hardest to gain his attention without being embarrassingly obvious, she decided that the best way to gain the Doctor's attention was to be obvious.
She grabbed his arm, shuffled so she was huddled close to his body and wrapped her arms around his waist. She sighed quietly, knowing this is where she wanted to be constantly.
And she didn't know it, but that's what the Doctor wanted too.
After their visit to Mars, their relationship began to improve with the Doctor now willing to hold her hand and hug her. Clara was certain that their relationship would soon mimic the relationship she had with the Eleventh Doctor and the Doctor would have agreed.
That was, until they arrived back on Earth.
Clara knew that she would have to visit her dad sooner or later but she was hoping that she would be able to put it off for as long as possible. She loved her dad but she knew he would soon demand to know who this new man was. Whilst the Doctor was happy to tell the truth, Clara knew her dad wouldn't understand nor accept the news so she decided to introduce the Doctor as an 'old' friend.
For the rest of the day, the Doctor was silent and only spoke when addressed too. It wasn't until Clara's dad had retired to bed that she discovered the reason behind his sudden change in mood.
"Are you going to explain to me why you haven't looked at me all day?"
"Are you going to explain to me why you called me an 'old friend'?"
"What on Earth are you on about, Doctor?"
"You referred to me as old, Clara. You don't see me as the Doctor, you see me as this... old person!"
"Oh my god, this is what this is all about? Doctor, the term 'old friend' is saying. You are an old friend; we have known each other years, that's what I meant! I don't think you are old just because you look old..."
The Doctor stared hard at Clara as she bit her tongue, the words unable to form in her mouth. She knew what she meant but she knew what he heard.
"I see. Well, Clara, if that is how you feel then maybe we shouldn't travel together anymore? I wouldn't want you to be seen with an old man."
He started for the door, ignoring the pleas that Clara whispered. She grabbed onto his arm and tried to drag him into the house, begging him not to go. Once he started for the TARDIS, however, her sadness turned into anger and she was encouraging him to go.
"Go on then! Leave! See if I care. You're not the man I want you to be anyway; I want you to be the other Doctor. The fun Doctor. The one who actually gave a damn about me! If you come back and you're not him, then don't bother!"
She slammed the door and leant against it, waiting to hear the melody that she had grown to love.
The first Wednesday he didn't turn up, Clara was fine.
She went to school, taught her students all day and returned home with stacks of homework to mark. She didn't think of the Doctor once.
The second Wednesday he didn't turn up, Clara was still okay but slightly jittery. She would stare out of the window, waiting to see if she could see the familiar blue box or hear the Scottish accent she had grown to love.
By the 10th week of not seeing the Doctor, Clara was convinced that he was never coming back.
She had thought she would be okay with not seeing him but it soon came to her attention that she missed his greying hair or the way he would bite his thumbnail whenever he was nervous. It was endearing the way she had begun to fall in love with his little characteristics and it wasn't long until she realised that no matter what the Doctor looked like; he would always be her Doctor.
It had become apart of her routine to check the window everyday to see if the TARDIS had returned and everyday she became disappointed. She was aware that she had upset the Doctor but she hadn't expected him to take it so badly.
After the 12th week of not seeing the Doctor, Clara's dad decided to intervene.
"Clara, honey..."
"Dad, please don't call me 'honey' ok? You know I don't like being... never mind."
"Okay, Clara sweetheart. Can you please tell me what's wrong? You haven't been the same since your friend with the Scottish accent was here. What has happened?"
"It's nothing Dad, I am fine. There's nothing wrong."
He sat beside her and touched her hand. "Clara, please don't lie to me. You're my daughter. I know when something is wrong."
Clara looked at her dad and sighed, knowing that if anyone knew how to deal with a broken heart it was her dad.
"We fell out Dad, over something so silly and pathetic. I called him old by mistake and he took it to heart and I don't know what to do."
"Why would he be offended by that? I don't understand."
Clara made eye contact with her dad once more and sighed. "He's the Doctor, Dad and he's afraid that I don't care about him the same way anymore." She finally allowed the tears to fall and brought her head to her dad's shoulders.
Gripping her shoulders, she felt her dad chuckle before speaking. "I had a feeling he meant more to you than you were letting on. The Doctor though? Wow. Do I want to know what happened there? Anyway, ho... Sweetie. I think you need to speak to the Doctor and tell him that nothing has changed. I know he looks different and speaks different and you may get judged but at the end of the day, do you care? He's still the Doctor and he still cares about you the same way he did before. And I'm pretty sure he always will."
Her Dad had been right of course, which was why she was staring at the shop ahead of her.
The 'Time and Space Technology' shop provided any type technology that you required but also had the number for any genius in the country. Fair enough the genius she was looking for wasn't in the country but they had provided his number before so they may be able to help again.
She took a deep breath and entered the shop, keeping an eye out for the girl with the short blonde hair. Weaving in and out through the aisle's she thought to give up until she saw the flash of blonde. She raced after her and caught up to her, just as she entered the staff room.
"Excuse me?! Hi!"
The blonde woman turned around and smiled at Clara, tongue peaking through her teeth. "Hi. Can I help you?"
"Yes. You gave me a number before, said it was the best line out there. And you were right, God you were right. Do you still have that number? I kind of lost it."
The blonde woman grinned once more, turned back grabbing a pen and paper before writing the digits down. Turning back to Clara, she handed over the piece of paper. "There you go."
Clara sighed with relief. "Thank you, thank you, and thank you."
"Be careful. Try not to lose it again. The best line in the universe needs to be taken care of once in a while."
Nodding once more, Clara ran from the shop, clutching the number to her heart.
She would never lose it again.
As soon as she returned home she ran to her room and picked up the phone, dialling the number as fast as could; holding her breath as she did so.
The phone rang 4 times before she heard the irritable Scottish accent she had grown to love.
"Hello? How did you get this number? It's not even a phone."
"Doctor?"
She heard the sharpness in the intake of his breath and waited before continuing. "Please come back Doctor, I need you. I know I was horrible to you and I'm sorry. I promise you I am sorry, please come back."
The Doctor sighed once more before hanging up the phone, leaving Clara completely clueless. She placed the phone down, desperate to not let the tears fall down her face. She was about to fall onto her bed when she heard the melodic sound of the TARDIS's engine.
She raced down the stairs and flung open the doors to be met with the Doctor she had now completely fallen for. His green eyes met her brown ones, crinkling as a smile transformed his face. Clara took a step forward, hand reaching to touch his face and stroked the wrinkles which made him the Doctor. Her face broke into a smile which matched his and before she knew it, she was holding onto him like her life depended on it.
The Doctor grasped her waist and brought her closer to him, allowing his face to fill the crook of her neck. They stood in the doorway for a little while, just holding onto one another as they began to accept each other for who they were.
"I'm sorry too, Clara. I know I'm not the face you want and I apologise for that. But can I be the face you need?"
"You are what I want Doctor, you impossible man."
"And I you, you impossible girl."